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Brain-Dead Breitbart Rant of the Day: “The Onion Goes Anti-Semitic”

Humor: unclear on the concept
Wingnuts • Views: 25,339

We have a winner in today’s Most Ridiculous Right Wing Rant contest, and once again it goes to the inimitable, reliably deranged breitbart.com, where hack William Bigelow is screaming in all caps: THE ONION GOES ANTI-SEMITIC!

So now The Onion, celebrated for their zany approach to the news, has fallen under the spell of the radical left and has become one more mouthpiece for anti-Semitic propaganda. In their latest attempt at humor, The Onion posted this piece of Palestinian propaganda:

As civilian casualties continue to mount amid the escalating conflict along the Gaza Strip, 8-year-old Palestinian boy Walid Suleiman expressed both joy and astonishment Monday that he has yet to be killed in an Israeli military attack. ‘Boy, I thought I’d be dead by this past Saturday for sure, but amazingly enough, here I am,’ said Suleiman, adding that he is ‘pleased, but pretty shocked’ not to be among the estimated 100 Palestinians left dead by widespread Israeli airstrikes in the region over the past six days. ‘I’d have bet you anything that by today they’d have already dug my corpse out from underneath a giant pile of rubble and buried me alongside the rest of my family. Guess I won the lottery, eh?’ At press time, incoming Israeli aircraft could be heard swiftly approaching as Suleiman limped back to his home.

That’s the ticket, Onion. Buy into the ‘plight’ of the Palestinians and ignore the fact that Hamas started the violence, that Hamas has fired on Israeli cities, that there are strong rumors that Hamas now has chemical weapons it can launch. Ignore the fact that Hamas deliberately places its rocket sites in civilian areas in an attempt to force Israel to kill civilians for left wing media consumption. Ignore that Hamas deliberately targets civilians while Israel takes great care not to.

Here’s one for you, Onion:

As their print version dried up with the last issue on November 1, 2012, the Onion, the celebrated satirical publication, decided to sell out to anti-Semitic propagandizing. ‘We noticed that Jews are becoming an easy target for vilification,’ explained the editor, ‘and we just couldn’t resist the impulse to jump on the bandwagon. I mean, look at history; some of the most successful publications in history, like the Protocols of the Elders of Zion, vilified the Jews too.’

Where do you even start with such a humorless drone of a Breitbrat? I guess he’s never noticed that the Onion is satire, which is odd because that’s usually Rush Limbaugh’s excuse and you’d think wingnuts would be familiar with the concept. Yes, the Onion’s satire is often very pointed and pushes people’s buttons, and it obviously pushed William Bigelow’s wingnut rant button, which for the Onion is a mark of success.

But look: the Onion makes fun of everyone and everything. It’s what they’ve been doing for many years. For example, this article that’s every bit as brutal as the one Bigelow’s clutching his pearls over: Crazed Palestinian Gunman Angered by Stereotypes.

HEBRON, WEST BANK—In an emotionally charged press conference Monday, crazed Palestinian gunman Faisal al Hamad expressed frustration over the stereotyping of his people.

“As a crazed Palestinian gunman, I feel hurt by the negative portrayal of my people in the media,” said al Hamad, 31, a Hebron-area terrorist maniac. “None of us should have to live with stereotyping and ignorance.”

He then began screaming and firing into a busload of Israeli schoolchildren.

William Bigelow, by the way, was featured in August at LGF when he posted a stunningly bigoted anti-Muslim conspiracy theory at breitbart.com, earning him the title: Your Bigoted Fear-Mongering All-Caps Breitbart.com Headline of the Day.

With this non-satirical illustration:

That actually could have been an Onion headline, but Bigelow was not joking.

Jump to bottom

120 comments

1 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:53:30pm

Anti-Mexico too!
Mexico Killed In Drug Deal

MEXICO CITY—In the latest incident of drug-related violence to hit the country, all 111 million citizens of Mexico were killed Monday during a shoot-out between rival drug cartels.

According to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration, the violence was sparked by a botched drug deal involving an estimated 20 kilograms of marijuana, a dispute that led low-level members of the Sinaloa cartel to open fire on local dealers in Culiacán. Within seconds, the gunfire had spread to Chihuahua, Michoacán, Yucatán, and, minutes later, the other 27 Mexican states, leaving every person in Mexico dead.

"We're still piecing together details, but it looks as though the incident began as an act of retaliation against Sinaloa by two foot soldiers from the Los Zetas cartel," DEA administrator Michele Leonhart said. "The Gulf and Tijuana cartels then responded before being ambushed by La Familia Michoacána and Los Negros. At that point, witnesses reported hearing roughly 357 million gunshots, during which time the Mexican populace was caught in the crossfire and killed."

"A four-gram bag of cocaine was also recovered by agents," Leonhart added.

2 Holidays are Family Fun Time  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:54:47pm

There seem to be people whose brains cannot appreciate sarcasm or humour in any form.

I blame a lack of creativity.

3 erik_t  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:54:58pm

Also, too: The Onion rebrands as The Garlic, goes anti-vampire

4 aagcobb  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:57:19pm

Let's face it, reality has gotten so bizarre that the Onion has to be extreme so people don't confuse parody with a real story.

5 Ghost of Tom Joad  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:58:10pm

Breitbart has become the right-wing version of The Onion. Their tripe is just that absurd that it would probably be taken for obscure comedy by folks who were hearing about them for the first time.

6 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:59:23pm
7 Holidays are Family Fun Time  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 12:59:43pm

re: #4 aagcobb

Let's face it, reality has gotten so bizarre that the Onion has to be extreme so people don't confuse parody with a real story.

very true, often I find myself second-guessing non-Onion reports.

Truth is often stranger than Fiction.

8 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:01:11pm

BBL

9 Holidays are Family Fun Time  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:01:39pm

HIstory De-coded on the History Channel is a good example--of the dramatization fictionalization of facts

10 nines09  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:07:54pm

Huffing glue again, are they? I guess the fact that The Onion is pure unaldultersted satire and sarcasm is lost on the befuddled.

11 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:09:10pm

Bibi and Hillary having a press conference now

12 Holidays are Family Fun Time  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:09:36pm

bbl

13 Charles Johnson  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:10:05pm

The Breitbrats are on auto-rant. Absolutely anything will set them off. Michelle Obama digging in her garden sends them into paroxysms of rage.

14 A Man for all Seasons  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:10:20pm

re: #5 Ghost of Tom Joad

Breitbart has become the right-wing version of The Onion. Their tripe is just that absurd that it would probably be taken for obscure comedy by folks who were hearing about them for the first time.

Soon I'll be early retired and was thinking of hobbies I should take up.
I'm going to do page authoring more. One thing will be the Orange. A parody of RW web sites. It is a target rich environment and I'll never run out of material. Admit it..It will be funnier than fuck. Unlike the Onion I'll always allow contributions from Lizards. You can't mail ideas to the Onion, You have to be a staffer to publish

15 leftynyc  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:10:54pm

re: #11 Killgore Trout

Bibi and Hillary having a press conference now

Wd love any updates on that if it's not too much trouble. Thanks a bunch.

16 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:12:08pm

re: #15 leftynyc

Wd love any updates on that if it's not too much trouble. Thanks a bunch.

Not much interesting, just generic statements. Blah blah, etc. I was hoping there would be an announcement of ceasefire or something.

17 Ghost of Tom Joad  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:12:48pm

re: #14 A Man for all Seasons

Do it Colbert-esque and you'd probably have a winner.

18 leftynyc  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:12:59pm

re: #16 Killgore Trout

Not much interesting, just generic statements. Blah blah, etc. I was hoping there would be an announcement of ceasefire or something.

That's what I was hoping also.

19 Vicious Babushka  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:13:19pm

"The Onion" is a humor site, and like all humor these days, treads a fine line between hilariously funny and racist/sexist/homophobic/anti-Semitic/whatever.

I did not like their NSFW cartoon showing leading figures of various religious faiths engaged in an orgy. It was lame, and excluded the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Cthulhu.

20 ThomasLite  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:15:45pm
...that’s usually Rush Limbaugh’s excuse and you’d think wingnuts would be familiar with the concept...

To be fair the wingnuts, the Onion is, indeed, nothing like Limbaugh to the point that I understand it can be straining on the mind to fit both under the same definition of 'satire' (I know I have trouble with the idea :P ).

21 wrenchwench  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:16:30pm

re: #13 Charles Johnson

The Breitbrats are on auto-rant. Absolutely anything will set them off. Michelle Obama digging in her garden sends them into paroxysms of rage.

This might also do it:

Brain-Dead Breitbart...

22 Interesting Times  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:18:10pm

To be filed under "About Fucking Time":

Representative Allen West concedes Florida election

The race was among the most expensive in Congress, with Mr West raising four times as much cash as Mr Murphy.

And he lost anyway.

/Nelson ha-ha

23 GunstarGreen  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:21:11pm

re: #20 ThomasLite

To be fair the wingnuts, the Onion is, indeed, nothing like Limbaugh to the point that I understand it can be straining on the mind to fit both under the same definition of 'satire' (I know I have trouble with the idea :P ).

This is true. The Onion's 'jokes' don't involve directly threatening the life of another citizen, so the right wingers don't really understand the humor.

24 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:28:33pm

Ralph Nader jumps on the conspiracy bandwagon that Hamas operatives are being assassinated because they posses a secret peace plan.
Ralph Nader: Israel-Palestine – What Is The U.S. National Interest?

Israeli government leaders are expert provocateurs when they wish to seize land, water or prisoners and upset any movement toward a peace that would create a viable Palestinian state back to the 1967 borders, which includes East Jerusalem.
...
The current hostilities started in two stages. The first was a back-and-forth that saw an emerging truce broken decisively on November 14 when Israel pridefully blew up a car containing Hamas military chief, Ahmad al-Jabari who actually was leading the negotiations via Egypt with Israel for a longer-range truce.

25 researchok  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:32:26pm

re: #24 Killgore Trout

And Nader's 2016 Presidential Campaign starts up...
//

26 Ian G.  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:32:36pm
That’s the ticket, Onion. Buy into the ‘plight’ of the Palestinians.

One would think that even if you believe that Hamas is an evil organization that the world would be better without (as I do) and that Israel has a right to defend itself (which I do, with a few caveats about the weight of the response leveled), you'd be horrified by the killing, unintentionally or otherwise, of children.

Apparently, that never occurs to Bigelow, which tells us a lot more about his casual disregard for human life when it's Arab-Muslim than it does about any "Anti-Semitic" slant at The Onion.

27 A Man for all Seasons  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:35:06pm

re: #24 Killgore Trout

Heh..Ralph, Hamas has a long storied reputation as masterful planners.
*spit*

28 Ian G.  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:35:53pm

And I think it's absolutely necessary to use biting humor to deal with the horror and absurdity of war, no matter what side you take. One of the best stories I ever read in my life is how the sailors of the HMS Sheffield, awaiting rescue from their burning, sinking ship during the Falklands War, started singing Monty Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".

29 Obdicut  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:40:04pm

re: #28 Ian G.

Jimmy Carr, the British comic, was castigated for saying that the upside to the number of wounded British soldiers in Iraq was that they'd have a "hell of a paralympics team". Red-faced angry people shouted at him. Meanwhile, most of the soldiers thought it was hilarious.

30 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:40:05pm

Not The Onion:

31 TedStriker  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:44:58pm

re: #30 Lidane

Not The Onion:

[Embedded content]

No surprise there...IMO, it's pretty much the overriding reason why he ran for Congress (and banking on his father's name and rep).

As far as presidential candidate nutballs go, we just wound up trading Ron for Rand.

32 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:45:42pm

re: #27 A Man for all Seasons

Heh..Ralph, Hamas has a long storied reputation as masterful planners.
*spit*

It's interesting that even the smartest Western apologists have to rely on some very inaccurate talking points. It's not just a difference of opinion at work here. I think there's plenty of room to have honest sympathy for the Palestinians but not many seem to take that route.

33 TedStriker  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:47:12pm

...

34 Charles Johnson  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:47:46pm

re: #30 Lidane

Actually I think it would be great for Rand Paul to run for President. He'd force the GOP to confront some of their caveman ideology, since he's pretty much a clone of his libertarian daddy, but at the same time he's batshit nuts so he has no chance of winning.

Best of both worlds.

35 Obdicut  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:48:20pm

re: #32 Killgore Trout

It's interesting that even the smartest Western apologists have to rely on some very inaccurate talking points.

Did you just call Nader one of the smartest Western apologists?

Nader?

36 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:49:54pm

re: #35 Obdicut

Did you just call Nader one of the smartest Western apologists?

Nader?

Yeah, I don't think he's an idiot like Cindy Sheehan or Michael Moore. He's probably a very smart guy. Very wrong but still smart.

37 TedStriker  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:51:55pm

re: #34 Charles Johnson

Actually I think it would be great for Rand Paul to run for President. He'd force the GOP to confront some of their caveman ideology, since he's pretty much a clone of his libertarian daddy, but at the same time he's batshit nuts so he has no chance of winning.

Best of both worlds.

Aqua Buddha for President!

///

38 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:52:46pm

re: #36 Killgore Trout

Yeah, I don't think he's an idiot like Cindy Sheehan or Michael Moore. He's probably a very smart guy. Very wrong but still smart.

I think Chomsky is also a very smart but wrong person too. Maybe Norman Finkelstein too but he may fall into the mental illness/crazy category.

39 CuriousLurker  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:55:52pm

re: #19 Vicious Babushka

I did not like their NSFW cartoon showing leading figures of various religious faiths engaged in an orgy. It was lame, and excluded the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Cthulhu.

I didn't like it either. In fact, I generally don't like their brand of satire period, but they do make me LOL on occasion.

I figure if we're not supposed to flip out over The Onion's satire about Muslims or other things offensive (to us) like the caricatures of our prophet, then everybody else can suck it up too when their sacred ox gets gored.

There's a difference between things like those and the truly hateful (and deadly serious) stuff that's intended to dehumanize.

40 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:56:19pm

re: #34 Charles Johnson

Actually I think it would be great for Rand Paul to run for President. He'd force the GOP to confront some of their caveman ideology, since he's pretty much a clone of his libertarian daddy, but at the same time he's batshit nuts so he has no chance of winning.

Best of both worlds.

Speaking of the GOP's caveman ideology, here's another example of it:

Quite frankly, I want Rand Paul to run just to watch him try and justify cutting military spending to a Republican primary crowd. That should be hilarious.

41 Charles Johnson  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:59:40pm

Wow. Eric Erickson has posted one of the most forthright and honest right wing anti-science manifestos yet. I applaud him for not trying to sugar-coat his absolute embrace of Dark Ages thinking.

42 RadicalModerate  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 1:59:51pm

One question regarding the Nader piece, whose conclusions I have major disagreements with.

What IS the current diplomatic status of Gaza? I know that Israel doesn't recognize them as independent (as they don't recognize Palestine as an independent state as a whole), but do they have a case that their negotiators don't have the diplomatic protections that is afforded to other sovereign states?

43 TedStriker  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:02:09pm

re: #40 Lidane

Speaking of the GOP's caveman ideology, here's another example of it:

[Embedded content]

Quite frankly, I want Rand Paul to run just to watch him try and justify cutting military spending to a Republican primary crowd. That should be hilarious.

RWNJs say they want someone like the Pauls, but when the rubber meets the road, they don't make it out of the primaries because they either skewer too many sacred cows or they can't get enough mainstream voters on board.

44 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:04:29pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Wow. Eric Erickson has posted one of the most forthright and honest right wing anti-science manifestos yet. I applaud him for not trying to sugar-coat his absolute embrace of Dark Ages thinking.

[Embedded content]

If ignorance is bliss, Erick, Son of Erick must be a ridiculously happy man.

45 simoom  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:04:41pm

[Link: www.buzzfeed.com...]

WASHINGTON, DC — President Barack Obama’s reelection was preceded by fears and warnings from some of Israel’s conservative supporters and hopes from more liberal Middle Eastern voices: Obama would show his true pro-Palestinian colors, and he would come down hard on an Israeli Prime Minister who had obviously favored his Republican opponent.

The test came fast, when Israeli reacted to a drumbeat of missile strikes by turning its firepower on the Gaza Strip within days of the election. And the American reaction has, so far, surprised those who expected a post-election pivot. And with the region hoping Hillary Clinton’s visit will bring a ceasefire, Israelis have so far had few complaints.

“If funding iron dome is Obama's way of throwing Israel under the bus, I am praying he will throw us under a train,” tweeted Israeli reporter Barak Ravid, who writes for the center-left newspaper Haaretz, referring to the American-backed missile defense system.

...

Conservatives are now left to warn that Obama will yet abandon Israel. At some point.

"It's impossible to judge if people's concerns about Obama's second term treatment of Israel were misguided until the second term is over,” said Matt Brooks, the executive director of the Republican Jewish Coalition, which spent millions this year attacking the president on the subject. “I think everyone appreciates the support the U.S. has given Israel to this point as she has launched this defensive effort in Gaza.”

46 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:05:34pm

re: #44 Lidane

If ignorance is bliss, Erick, Son of Erick must be a ridiculously happy man.

If ignorance is bliss, I'd rather be miserable.

47 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:07:15pm

re: #45 simoom

Brooks comments sounds a bit like the "he'll come for our guns in his 2nd term" trash. Though he at least expresses that the US has been providing support so far in the current clash, which should be considered crediting Obama.

48 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:07:37pm

re: #46 Varek Raith

If ignorance is bliss, I'd rather be miserable.

That too.

I looked at what Erick wrote and was just stunned at the level of magical thinking there. He's denying science and evolution on the Internet, and in an age of technology, modern medicine, and where the rest of the world is at our fingertips via smartphone.

Absolutely unreal. I cannot imagine embracing Bronze Age ideas so thoroughly. WTF.

49 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:08:04pm

re: #46 Varek Raith

If ignorance is bliss, I'd rather be miserable.

I thought you preferred your targets blissful up to the point the superlaser converted them into a warm plasma.
//

50 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:08:47pm

re: #48 Lidane

That too.

I looked at what Erick wrote and was just stunned at the level of magical thinking there. He's denying science and evolution on the Internet, and in an age of technology, modern medicine, and where the rest of the world is at our fingertips via smartphone.

Absolutely unreal. I cannot imagine embracing Bronze Age ideas so thoroughly. WTF.

You haven't been reading the creationist/evolution wars long enough...

51 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:08:48pm

re: #49 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears

I thought you preferred your targets blissful up to the point the superlaser converted them into a warm plasma.
//

His targets, sure. His own brain cells? I think Varek likes those where they are. Heh.

52 jaunte  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:09:05pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Wow. Eric Erickson has posted one of the most forthright and honest right wing anti-science manifestos yet. I applaud him for not trying to sugar-coat his absolute embrace of Dark Ages thinking.]

"Yes, I believe there was a man named Noah who spent 100 years building a giant boat and I do believe there was a great flood and the survivors of which were all on that boat."

Kentucky Vacation 2013!

53 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:09:30pm

re: #50 Feline Emperor of the Conservative Tears

You haven't been reading the creationist/evolution wars long enough...

Aside from the occasional happy hour or glass of wine with dinner, I try to avoid things that kill my brain cells.

54 Feline Fearless Leader  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:10:59pm

re: #53 Lidane

Aside from the occasional happy hour or glass of wine with dinner, I try to avoid things that kill my brain cells.

On that subject it is time to head home and take a dose of internally applied alcohol, for medicinal purposes mind you!

55 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:11:03pm

re: #42 RadicalModerate

One question regarding the Nader piece, whose conclusions I have major disagreements with.

What IS the current diplomatic status of Gaza? I know that Israel doesn't recognize them as independent (as they don't recognize Palestine as an independent state as a whole), but do they have a case that their negotiators don't have the diplomatic protections that is afforded to other sovereign states?

No, they don't have embassies so I don't think they would have diplomatic immunity although general courtesies would be extended to them for UN visits, etc. In this case though the guy Nader is calling a "negotiator" is Ahmed Jabari

He was credited as the leader in the Hamas takeover of the Gaza Strip,[2] and played a role in the capture of Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit.[2] Under his command, Hamas developed its own growing weapons capability and acquired longer-range rockets.[3]

He was responsible for taking hostages and arranging for the ransom in the form of releasing terrorists from Israeli jails. It's a real stretch to consider him a diplomatic negotiator.

56 Obdicut  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:11:14pm

re: #38 Killgore Trout

I think Chomsky is also a very smart but wrong person too. Maybe Norman Finkelstein too but he may fall into the mental illness/crazy category.

Heh. Chomsky and Nader aren't even in the same universe of intelligence. Chomsky completely changed the face of linguistics and of programming. He's a genius who threw down old systems and built a new one. His political stuff went batcrazy, but his linguistics work is pretty much unparelleled.

Your 'very smart' category appears to be massively broad.

57 A Man for all Seasons  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:11:39pm

The RW only selectively uses science with the ideas they agree with. So Medicine is ok but climate science is not.
They do the same thing with bible verses.

58 RadicalModerate  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:11:49pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson
re: Erick, son of Erick:

Time to post this again.

59 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:12:47pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Wow. Eric Erickson has posted one of the most forthright and honest right wing anti-science manifestos yet. I applaud him for not trying to sugar-coat his absolute embrace of Dark Ages thinking.

[Embedded content]

I think some people have this real problem where they cannot accept not having a definitive answer.

This is just what I believe and I know for certain I could be wrong. I reject evolution for the sake of evolution and reject that life on this planet, let alone the existence of this universe, is some random act. I reject that we are little better than the animals we evolved from because I reject that we evolved from anything other than God’s own mind. We were created in his image. We did not evolve into it. The only people certain in their belief on this matter are those who accept theory as fact and Truth as mythology.

No, we don;t know exactly how life formed on this planet. We aren't certain. That's the whole point. HE is the one claiming certainty. He "rejects" that we evolved from anything other than God's own mind. That's certainty, and it tends to close off the mind.

60 Obdicut  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:13:38pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

This is just what I believe and I know for certain I could be wrong. I reject evolution for the sake of evolution and reject that life on this planet, let alone the existence of this universe, is some random act. I reject that we are little better than the animals we evolved from because I reject that we evolved from anything other than God’s own mind. We were created in his image. We did not evolve into it. The only people certain in their belief on this matter are those who accept theory as fact and Truth as mythology.

I didn't realize he was that much of a religious whackjob. I also don't understand the problem these whackjobs have with just saying "Fine, we evolved, but God set it up from the start and knew it would happen". What is the theological problem with that?

61 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:14:25pm

The RW in 2 seconds.

62 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:15:15pm

re: #60 Obdicut

I didn't realize he was that much of a religious whackjob. I also don't understand the problem these whackjobs have with just saying "Fine, we evolved, but God set it up from the start and knew it would happen". What is the theological problem with that?

When I was a Catholic in ye olde days even the nuns explained it to me that way. They didn't want me to grow into a dumb-ass.

63 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:16:13pm

Re: the previous thread --

64 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:16:18pm

I reject that the Earth revolves around Sol.

65 Charles Johnson  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:17:08pm

I have to give Erickson credit for not trying to hide that he's a Biblical literalist.

But let’s not stop there. Because once every Christian politician in the country has answered that question, the secular set will just move on. Let me move on first.

Yes, I believe there was an Adam and I believe there was an Eve.

Yes, I believe there were two cities named Sodom and Gomorrah and yes I do believe they were destroyed for rampant sin including deviating from God’s intentions sexually.

Yes, I believe there was a man named Noah who spent 100 years building a giant boat and I do believe there was a great flood and the survivors of which were all on that boat.

And yes, I do believe there was a man named Jonah who was swallowed up by a great big fish and survived.

66 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:17:32pm

re: #64 Varek Raith

I reject that the Earth revolves around Sol.

You're right. We think it's Sol, but our sun has been replaced by its evil twin brother...

67 RadicalModerate  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:17:53pm

re: #55 Killgore Trout

No, they don't have embassies so I don't think they would have diplomatic immunity although general courtesies would be extended to them for UN visits, etc. In this case though the guy Nader is calling a "negotiator" is Ahmed Jabari

He was responsible for taking hostages and arranging for the ransom in the form of releasing terrorists from Israeli jails. It's a real stretch to consider him a diplomatic negotiator.

Which is part of the reason that I said I disagreed with Nader. Good-faith negotiations or not, Jabari was definitely the wrong person to send in that capacity. However, the bigger question would remain, since Hamas is considered a terrorist organization- would any of their representatives have any protection?

68 Charles Johnson  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:18:09pm

That's a CNN contributor saying this.

69 erik_t  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:18:20pm

re: #65 Charles Johnson

I have to give Erickson credit for not trying to hide that he's a Biblical literalist.

What a fucking moron.

70 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:18:29pm

re: #65 Charles Johnson

I have to give Erickson credit for not trying to hide that he's a Biblical literalist.

Credit? Sure. But it's scary as hell reading that.

71 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:18:44pm

re: #69 erik_t

What a fucking moron.

Hey!
No need to dis fucking morons...
;)

72 A Man for all Seasons  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:19:00pm

re: #64 Varek Raith

I reject that the Earth revolves around Sol.

You are correct. The Earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It falls into the gravity well created by the distortion of space-time from the Sun's mass.

73 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:19:13pm

re: #69 erik_t

What a fucking moron.

I love that I always hear eveything you say coming out of grumpy-cat's mouth. Please never change...

74 jaunte  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:19:29pm

I want to know why Erickson thinks the dinosaurs weren't invited onto the Ark.

75 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:19:40pm

re: #72 A Man for all Seasons

You are correct. The Earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It falls into the gravity well created by the distortion of space-time from the Sun's mass.

I reject space-time.
And gravity.
And the word 'distortion'.

76 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:20:17pm

re: #75 Varek Raith

I reject space-time.
And gravity.
And the word 'distortion'.

Fucking gravity. How does that work?

77 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:21:11pm

re: #74 jaunte

I want to know why Erickson thinks the dinosaurs weren't invited onto the Ark.

78 dragonath  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:21:44pm

Erick Erickson's satellite feed is brought to you via the theory of relativity.

Magic!

79 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:21:45pm

Oh, just noticed this line.

Meanwhile, these secularists and atheists cannot even be honest about when life begins.

Christ on a cracker. It's called debate. Try it sometime instead of suggesting that you're right and everyone else is wrong.

80 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:22:08pm

re: #62 Four More Tears

When I was a Catholic in ye olde days even the nuns explained it to me that way. They didn't want me to grow into a dumb-ass.

I didn't go to Catholic school, but that's how it was explained to me back in my Sunday school classes.

81 Eventual Carrion  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:22:12pm

re: #72 A Man for all Seasons

You are correct. The Earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It falls into the gravity well created by the distortion of space-time from the Sun's mass.

Relatively speaking.

82 compound_Idaho  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:22:29pm

re: #76 Four More Tears

Fucking gravity. How does that work?

Gravity sucks!

83 Eventual Carrion  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:22:47pm

re: #74 jaunte

I want to know why Erickson thinks the dinosaurs weren't invited onto the Ark.

Lizard breath

84 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:23:10pm

re: #74 jaunte

I want to know why Erickson thinks the dinosaurs weren't invited onto the Ark.

I want to know if he thinks that The Flintstones was a documentary or if he thinks the dinosaurs were a holy hoax to test our faith.

85 William Barnett-Lewis  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:24:19pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Wow. Eric Erickson has posted one of the most forthright and honest right wing anti-science manifestos yet. I applaud him for not trying to sugar-coat his absolute embrace of Dark Ages thinking.

Christ on a crutch. That takes hate of God's creation to basically a blasphemous level.

86 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:25:59pm

Lol...another conspiracy...

This is how Democrats dealt with the military vote:

The conservative-leaning military vote has decreased drastically since 2010 due to the so-called Military Voter Protection Act that was enacted into law the year before. It has made it so difficult for overseas military personnel to obtain absentee ballots that in Virginia and Ohio there has been a 70% decrease in requests for ballots since 2008. In Virginia, almost 30,000 fewer overseas military voters requested ballots than in 2008. In Ohio, more than 20,000 fewer overseas military voters requested ballots. This is significant considering Obama won in both states by a little over 100,000 votes.

Hey brainiac did it ever occur to you that we have about 175,000 less U.S. troops and national guardsmen stationed overseas now than we did for the 2008 election?

87 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:28:14pm
88 kirkspencer  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:29:12pm

re: #79 Four More Tears

Oh, just noticed this line.

Meanwhile, these secularists and atheists cannot even be honest about when life begins.

Christ on a cracker. It's called debate. Try it sometime instead of suggesting that you're right and everyone else is wrong.

The counterargument: the question is not when life begins. The question is "when is it a person?"

by the way, E bin E is still wrong about when life begins because both sperm and egg are alive.

89 Dancing along the light of day  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:29:17pm

re: #76 Four More Tears

Fucking gravity. How does that work?

MAGNETS!

90 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:29:45pm

Oh, hey look. Science and stuff...

91 Kragar  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:29:50pm

Beck and Crew Try to Understand and Explain the Age of the Earth

While science says that the earth is around 4.5 billion years old, biblical literalists believe that the earth is only about six thousand years old; a figure which is calculated by "taking the first five days of creation (from earth’s creation to Adam), then following the genealogies from Adam to Abraham in Genesis 5 and 11, then adding in the time from Abraham to today."

Today on Glenn Beck's radio program, Beck and his co-hosts totally dismissed the entire question as totally meaningless because nobody cares and it doesn't matter ... while obviously having absolutely no idea as to how the biblical age is calculated as they wildly guess that it probably comes from the fact that God created the heavens and earth in six days and that each day for God equals one thousand years:

92 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:31:00pm

re: #91 Kragar

Beck and Crew Try to Understand and Explain the Age of the Earth

This would be a lot more comical if a lot of people weren't taking these morons seriously.

93 jaunte  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:31:13pm

re: #91 Kragar

Bishop Ussher who?

94 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:31:23pm

re: #90 Four More Tears

Scientific evidence for a young Earth? ROFL.

What's next? Scientific evidence for balancing the humors or for phrenology?

95 Kragar  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:32:44pm

re: #90 Four More Tears

Oh, hey look. Science and stuff...

[Embedded content]

7. Dead bodies. Evolutionists tell us that Homo Sapiens was around for at least 185,000 years before the dawn of agriculture, and world population all that time was between one and ten million souls. Where are all the dead bodies? Under an evolutionary model, there should be at least 8 billion dead bodies buried somewhere. Where are all these stone age skeletons? Only a few thousand have ever been found. Maybe the Stone Age lasted only a few hundred years rather than a few hundred thousand years, hmmm?

SCIENCE!

96 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:33:21pm

re: #90 Four More Tears

The meanstream media tried to hang Marco Rubio from the nearest creationist tree yesterday by asking him for his opinion about the age of the earth.

Yes. Asking that question is akin to a hanging. Who the hell does that reporter think he/she is?

97 Turkey Jihad  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:34:24pm

Remember this time last year when Drunken Pam went batshit over Butterball's stealth Jihad with the turkeys?

[Link: atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com...]

98 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:34:48pm

re: #95 Kragar

I'm guessing that Fischer has no idea what the term "fossil fuels" means.

99 Political Atheist  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:35:05pm

Duck! Incoming artificial/misplaced outrage alert.
*insert Drudge style flashing red light*

[Link: littlegreenfootballs.com...]

100 Hercules Grytpype-Thynne  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:35:20pm

re: #91 Kragar

Beck and Crew Try to Understand and Explain the Age of the Earth

So was the Earth 6000 years old when Jesus was born, or was one day with the Lord only as 6662/3 years back then?

101 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:35:59pm

re: #95 Kragar

SCIENCE!

Yep, my brain stopped.

102 Obdicut  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:36:10pm

re: #95 Kragar

SCIENCE!

Reminds me of another great Onion article:


Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

103 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:36:16pm

re: #90 Four More Tears

If he needed a follow-up answer, he could say, “Well, I believe the Bible teaches that God created everything and I believe the Bible. If you have a problem with that, your problem is not with me, it’s with God. I suggest you take it up with him. Next question.”

God is notorious for not giving interviews.

And I'm sorry, but your lack of critical thinking is your problem. Don't blame a 2000-ish year old book.

104 kirkspencer  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:37:26pm

re: #98 Lidane

I'm guessing that Fischer has no idea what the term "fossil fuels" means.

Actually, he thinks the bodies stick around because "I believe in [...] the resurrection of the body [...]" (apostle's creed)

105 Kragar  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:38:12pm
2. Sediment on the sea floor. Mud is deposited by rivers and dust storms into the sea much faster than natural processes can remove it. Every year, about 20 billion tons of dirt and rock are dumped in the ocean. A process called plate tectonic subduction removes about a billion tons a year, which leaves 19 billion tons to accumulate on the seafloor year after year. The problem here is that the average depth of all the sediment in the entire ocean is less than 400 meters. That would take well less than 12 million years, which leaves us just a tad shy of the three billion years scientists demand. If the biblical account is correct, accelerated accumulation of deposits during the world-wide flood of Genesis 6-9 could account for it most if not all of it. I think I’ll go with a young earth on this one.
106 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:38:13pm
1. Comets. Comets are supposed to be as old as the solar system, about 5 billion years old. Yet comets lose material every time they orbit the sun, and thus no comet can last more than about 100,000 years. If the earth is as old as we’re told, comets should have disappeared literally billions of years ago. But there they are, happily orbiting the sun and sending flutters through the astronomical community every time one becomes visible to the naked eye. So, where are all these comets coming from? Scientists have to posit that there is some kind of comet nest out there, which occasionally kicks one of these guys out into the solar system. Now scientists have no evidence that this nest exists, no idea where it is located, and have not clue one what kind of process could explain the whole thing. I’ll stick with a young earth as the most plausible explanation.

Holy shit this would be like me trying to make sense of a romance novel.

107 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:38:56pm

OH GOD MY BRAIN IS OOZING OUT OF MY EAR

108 Kragar  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:39:39pm

re: #105 Kragar

Thats ignoring volcanic activity, rising and lower sea levels, changing environmental factors, etc.

109 3eff Jeff  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:39:59pm

re: #94 Lidane

Scientific evidence for a young Earth? ROFL.

What's next? Scientific evidence for balancing the humors or for phrenology?

How about C-Contraction? Young Earth Creationists have posited that the Speed of Light is not constant, but rather it was much faster 6000 years ago and has decreased exponentially in that time to be close to its final value today (and seeming constant for the last century or two when we could actually get reasonable measurements of it). This explains away the apparent 13 billion year age of the Universe. There's no actual evidence for this beyond "how can we mangle physics to fit a calculation by a Medieval Bishop using a bunch of begats in a book", but there it is.

There's a ton more of this stuff at Talk Origins.

110 Lidane  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:40:46pm

re: #106 Four More Tears

Holy shit this would be like me trying to make sense of a romance novel.

Actually, romance novels are pretty straightforward. Spunky, if misunderstood woman meets flawed man. Sparks secretly fly, but neither can admit their feelings. Friends get involved. Plot of some sort ensues. Boy and girl finally kiss and/or have sex. Then there's a conflict of some sort. More drama. Finally, a resolution and a happy ending.

Fischer's ranting is just gibberish.

111 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:41:45pm
112 Killgore Trout  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:42:45pm

Hamas still using that media building

113 Varek Raith  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:45:54pm

That was the dumbest thing I've read this week.

114 Four More Tears  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:49:17pm

re: #113 Varek Raith

That was the dumbest thing I've read this week.

It's only Tuesday.

115 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 2:56:22pm

re: #98 Lidane

I'm guessing that Fischer has no idea what the term "fossil fuels" means.

God hid them underneath the fossils?

116 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 3:08:29pm

re: #95 Kragar

re: #106 Four More Tears

re: #105 Kragar

Taken verbatim from Kent Hovind's rantings.

Some really good scientifically detailed rebuttals here.

117 Dancing along the light of day  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 3:13:20pm

re: #111 Varek Raith

Image: Neil-deGrasse-Tyson-gif.gif

It'd only be better if he had red nail polish on!

118 makeitstop  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 3:41:16pm

re: #75 Varek Raith

I reject space-time.
And gravity.
And the word 'distortion'.

As a guitarist, I take issue with your rejection of distortion.

119 Dark_Falcon  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 6:41:04pm

re: #14 A Man for all Seasons

Soon I'll be early retired and was thinking of hobbies I should take up.
I'm going to do page authoring more. One thing will be the Orange. A parody of RW web sites. It is a target rich environment and I'll never run out of material. Admit it..It will be funnier than fuck. Unlike the Onion I'll always allow contributions from Lizards. You can't mail ideas to the Onion, You have to be a staffer to publish

As long as the Orange doesn't involve any clockwork...

120 CriticalDragon1177  Tue, Nov 20, 2012 6:43:15pm

Charles Johnson,

Think the Onion could make fun of Breitbart? Or do you think its too much of a self parody to be made fun off?


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Comments are closed.

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