1 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:17:35am

I hate hands-free devices that stick in your ear. The glue I use is impossible to remove.

2 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:19:45am

re: #1 b_sharp

I hate hands-free devices that stick in your ear. The glue I use is impossible to remove.

Duct tape them on.

3 lawhawk  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:21:11am

re: #2 Kragar

I hear staples work quite well. Satisfies the blood gods and enables hands free usage. /

4 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:21:45am

re: #3 lawhawk

I hear staples work quite well. Satisfies the blood gods and enables hands free usage. /

Problem is, I wear white T-shirts.

5 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:23:34am

re: #4 b_sharp

Problem is, I wear white T-shirts.

Put on one of those neck cones first.

6 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:24:48am

re: #5 Kragar

Put on one of those neck cones first.

Then how the hell am I supposed to lick my balls?

7 TedStriker  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:27:19am

re: #3 lawhawk

I hear staples work quite well. Satisfies the blood gods and enables hands free usage. /

Hey, Frank Cross wanted to use staples to attach antlers to mice's heads, so it must be OK!

/Scrooged

8 Dark_Falcon  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:28:50am

We just had a meltdown on the Pages. 'Rochi613' posted a nasty bit filth that Fjordman had a hand in writing as part of the disreputable 'Gatestone Institute'. Charles justly clubbed him for having done so. I've got the troll carcass on ice till I can grill it.

Of course, now Pam Geller, as well as Dorkus and the rest of the Stalkers, may to scream about how Rochi613 was "BANNED FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH ABOUT ISLAM!!1". If so, Charles will be making all the right people angry with him by speaking the truth to bigotry.

9 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:28:50am

re: #6 b_sharp

Then how the hell am I supposed to lick my balls?

Practice.

10 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:29:15am

re: #7 TedStriker

Hey, Frank Cross wanted to use staples to attach antlers to mice's heads, so it must be OK!

/Scrooged

Loved that movie. That mouse rolling the golf ball out of John Forsythe's head was priceless.

11 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:38:14am

re: #8 Dark_Falcon

We just had a meltdown on the Pages. 'Rochi613' posted a nasty bit filth that Fjordman had a hand in writing as part of the disreputable 'Gatestone Institute'. Charles justly clubbed him for having done so. I've got the troll carcass on ice till I can grill it.

Of course, now Pam Geller, as well as Dorkus and the rest of the Stalkers, may to scream about how Rochi613 was "BANNED FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH ABOUT ISLAM!!1". If so, Charles will be making all the right people angry with him by speaking the truth to bigotry.

Rochi was warned about this, over and over again. It's not like she was some innocent.

12 erik_t  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:42:43am

re: #3 lawhawk

I hear staples work quite well. Satisfies the blood gods and enables hands free usage. /

CELLS FOR THE CELL THRONE

13 Killgore Trout  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:45:23am

For the John Stewart fans...
Jon Stewart almost quit Daily Show over “asshole” coworkers
It's a little late but someone finally asked him about the Cat Stevens controversy from a few years ago...

On Friday night, Stewart relayed the exchange from his perspective. He said he did receive a phone call from Rushdie after the Rally, expressing his disappointment that they used a performer “who wanted to kill me.”

Stewart said that he didn’t know about Yusuf’s comments at the time.

“So I’m like, I’m sure he doesn’t believe that people should be put to death for apostasy,” Stewart recalled. “I said, ‘look, I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m sure the guy isn’t really like that. Let me talk to him.”

Stewart called Yusuf, who characterized backing the fatwa as a “misunderstanding”, but immediately tempered that with “although why do you have to insult the Prophet?”

“We get into a whole conversation, and it becomes very clear to me that he is straddling two worlds in a very difficult way. And that he actually still – and it broke my heart a little bit. I wish I had known that. I wouldn’t have done [the bit], I don’t think. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have done it. Because that to me is a deal breaker. Death for free speech is a deal breaker,” Stewart said.

Colbert added that at the time, Yusuf was scheduled to be a guest on upcoming episodes of both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Those appearances didn’t happen.

14 mr.JA  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 11:55:17am

Don't you look like a cock wearing one of those bluetooth things? I mean, they kinda fit the BMW M3 driver with a horrendous city accent and a shiny suit.

15 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:02:15pm

re: #14 mr.JA

Don't you look like a cock wearing one of those bluetooth things? I mean, they kinda fit the BMW M3 driver with a horrendous city accent and a shiny suit.

Is the accent horrendous, or the city?

16 Charles Johnson  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:02:19pm

re: #14 mr.JA

Here in California, if you want to talk on your cell phone while driving, you have to do it with a headset or you'll get a very expensive traffic ticket.

17 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:03:32pm

re: #16 Charles Johnson

Here in California, if you want to talk on your cell phone while driving, you have to do it with a headset or you'll get a very expensive traffic ticket.

Same here. I use a hands free device that clips to my sun visor and streams music from my phone to my radio.

18 Obdicut  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:04:40pm

re: #13 Killgore Trout

Yeah, Craig Kilborne was an asshole, so it's not surprising a lot of the staff where when Stewart took over.

19 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:05:41pm

Where was this guy for the majority of the last 4 years?

Obama: Right-To-Work Laws Mean ‘Right To Work For Less Money’

President Obama railed against right-to-work laws Republicans are currently trying to pass in Michigan, arguing that they constitute a "race to the bottom," during a speech in Redford, Michigan Monday.

Right-to-work laws are "giving you the right to work for less money," Obama said in his speech at the Daimler Detroit Diesel Plant.

"What we shouldn’t be doing is try to take away your rights to bargain for better wages or working conditions," he said, arguing for the need for high-skilled, well-payed workers. "We don't want a race to the bottom. We want a race to the top."

20 researchok  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:06:30pm

re: #1 b_sharp

Here is one solution

21 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:08:20pm

re: #17 b_sharp

Same here. I use a hands free device that clips to my sun visor and streams music from my phone to my radio.

Talking isn't that big a deal. It's the fuckers who find it necessary to text while driving.

22 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:08:22pm

re: #20 researchok

Here is one solution

Maybe, but I don't know two young guys willing to prance around wearing shorts and carrying a faux boombox.

23 TedStriker  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:08:33pm

re: #10 b_sharp

Loved that movie. That mouse rolling the golf ball out of John Forsythe's head was priceless.

"I don't mind you hitting me, Frank, but take it easy on the Bacardi."

24 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:09:11pm

re: #21 Ghost of Tom Joad

Talking isn't that big a deal. It's the fuckers who find it necessary to text while driving.

Tweeting while driving is OK though...

Isn't it?

25 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:10:16pm

re: #18 Obdicut

Yeah, Craig Kilborne was an asshole, so it's not surprising a lot of the staff where when Stewart took over.

Fitting for the character he played in Old School.

26 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:15:56pm

Know what I wish more people would do when driving?

Drive their fucking cars.

27 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:17:51pm

re: #26 Kragar

Know what I wish more people would do when driving?

Drive their fucking cars.

Man are you tough.

28 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:19:13pm

re: #26 Kragar

Know what I wish more people would do when driving?

Drive their fucking cars.

I'd prefer they not drive at all. My office is in an area populated by numerous doctors offices and medical facilities, therefore mass migrations of old people all hours of the day in and out of the area.

Add in a large mall a couple miles down the road, and the holiday season becomes a total nightmare. I'm hoping that the NRA will eventually allow us to lease Abrams tanks. Yes, I road rage easily.

29 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:20:31pm

Huckabee Organizes National 'Day of Prayer' Campaign the Day Before Obama's Inauguration

Because their National Day of Prayer before the election worked out so well for them.

BWAHAHAHA!

30 b_sharp  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:22:59pm

re: #28 Ghost of Tom Joad

I'd prefer they not drive at all. My office is in an area populated by numerous doctors offices and medical facilities, therefore mass migrations of old people all hours of the day in and out of the area.

Add in a large mall a couple miles down the road, and the holiday season becomes a total nightmare. I'm hoping that the NRA will eventually allow us to lease Abrams tanks. Yes, I road rage easily.

It keeps the old folks on their toes.

31 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:25:54pm

Christian radio host: Punch atheists ‘in the mouth’ for their ‘war on Christmas’

On Monday, Barber blasted the Freedom from Religion Foundation for trying to “recreate an America in their own secular, humanist, self-image.”

Barber, an attorney who focuses on constitutional law, encouraged listeners to contact Liberty Counsel’s toll-free number if they discovered any “religious cleansing” in their town.

“You know, what do you do with a bully?” he explained. “If a bully keeps getting his way and intimidating kids on the playground and nobody stands up for themselves then the bully is encouraged and emboldened and continues to bully more and more people. But when a little kid is being bullied and he turns around and punches the bully in the mouth — metaphorically speaking, of course — then the bully is oftentimes proven to be a paper tiger.”

Right Wing Watch on Monday pointed out that Barber has also called for the “secularist left” to punched “in the mouth.”

“Yes, of course he merely means it ‘metaphorically,’” Right Wing Watch’s Kyle Mantyla wrote. “Because everyone know that nothing teaches a bully a message like being ‘metaphorically’ punched in the mouth.”

32 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:25:55pm

re: #28 Ghost of Tom Joad

I'd prefer they not drive at all. My office is in an area populated by numerous doctors offices and medical facilities, therefore mass migrations of old people all hours of the day in and out of the area.

Add in a large mall a couple miles down the road, and the holiday season becomes a total nightmare. I'm hoping that the NRA will eventually allow us to lease Abrams tanks. Yes, I road rage easily.

How are these people supposed to get to their appointments if their drivers' licenses are taken away? Should the various medical offices and clinics provide shuttle service?

33 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:32:53pm

Tales from the office

"Hey, you realize you've been singing Holy Diver, right?"

"Sorry, let me turn it up for the rest of you."

"Thats not what I meant."

"No problem, you're welcome."

"I..."

"BETWEEN THE VELVET LIES... THERE'S A TRUTH AS HARD AS STEEL!"

34 erik_t  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:34:19pm

re: #31 Kragar

Christian radio host: Punch atheists ‘in the mouth’ for their ‘war on Christmas’

'Turn the other cheek, so I can punch that one too'

35 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:36:35pm

Listening to the talk about secession from sore losers is rather amusing. One of the running themes is the belief that they can negotiate a "peaceful" secession, that the US will just allow them to go if they make their case.

36 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:37:26pm

re: #32 Vicious Babushka

How are these people supposed to get to their appointments if their drivers' licenses are taken away? Should the various medical offices and clinics provide shuttle service?

Just griping :-/

But, in regards to that, there should be something available as part of insurance that people, including disabled/elderly etc., where they can get transport to medical facilities to get care (be nice if they could get a number of things examined/taken care of in one place to cut down the amount of travel). It's a burden (Had to do it for multiple elderly family members) having to drive people to and from numerous appointments in different areas. And it also forces people who shouldn't be behind the wheel to have to drive.

37 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:40:04pm

re: #31 Kragar

Christian radio host: Punch atheists ‘in the mouth’ for their ‘war on Christmas’

Good ole' Christians, sufferers of the greatest persecution complex in history.

38 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:41:07pm

Cathie Adams: Obama Needs a Teleprompter 'Because He Fried His Brain on Drugs'

A little over a week before the election, Texas Eagle Forum president Cathie Adams, delivered a presentation at a Grassroots America We The People "Call To Action" meeting where she spoke alongside then-candidate Ted Cruz.

Adams' presentation was largely based on Mark Levin's book "Ameritopia" as she set out to explain exactly how "Barack Hussein Obama," as she repeatedly referred to him, was using the so-called "green agenda" as cover to implement Marxism in America. As Adams saw it, talk of "sustainable development" or "social justice" are just code words for Marxism, leading to an odd claim that the conflicts that plague the continent of Africa would end when the people of Africa learn to "turn their hearts toward their creator."

Adams then wondered why people are unwilling to admit that there "is a Marxist in our White House" before declaring that when she saw "someone who thinks so narcissisticly as Barack Hussein Obama [glare] at Mitt Romney in that last debate," it made her "want to go up and just smack his face!"

Finally, Adams warned her audience against thinking that they cannot impose their values on the nation because failing to do so will have dire consequences, saying that the initiative on the ballot in Colorado that legalized marijuana would only make matters worse "because I'm telling you, Barack Hussein Obama has got to have a teleprompter because he fried his brain on drugs":

Image: Romney+Teleprompter+interrupt+big+bird+funny+news+comedy+political+jokes+political+news+funny+romney+jokes+jokes+jokes+romney+teleprompter+debates+debates.jpg

Image: photo-palin-teleprompters-nra-charlotte.jpg

Image: santorumatcpac.jpg

So why couldn't these folks beat him again?

39 Hercules Grytpype-Thynneghazi  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:41:42pm

re: #31 Kragar

Christian radio host: Punch atheists ‘in the mouth’ for their ‘war on Christmas’

Sometimes people surprise me:

MSNBC host Joe Scarborough said on Monday that it was actually the conservative talk radio hosts who needed to be “punched in the face.”

40 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:42:59pm

re: #39 Hercules Grytpype-Thynne

Sometimes people surprise me:

BENGHAZI!!!

42 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:46:09pm

re: #40 Kragar

BENGHAZI!!!

Somewhere in D.C., John McCain's ears just perked up.

/

43 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:47:57pm

re: #42 Targetpractice

Somewhere in D.C., John McCain's ears just perked up.

/

"What's that boy?"

"BENGHAZI!"

"A staffer said something we can take out of context?"

"BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI!"

"Oh boy, lets go get 'em!"

44 Varek Raith  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:49:53pm

re: #26 Kragar

Know what I wish more people would do when driving?

Drive their fucking cars.

Screw you I got a SUVEE.

46 Varek Raith  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:52:26pm

re: #42 Targetpractice

Somewhere in D.C., John McCain's ears just perked up.

/

Is that what that sound was???
Scared the hell out of the cats...

47 BongCrodny  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:54:03pm

re: #31 Kragar

Christian radio host: Punch atheists ‘in the mouth’ for their ‘war on Christmas’

According to their belief system, we're going to burn in hell forever.

Funny how that's not enough for them.

48 Hercules Grytpype-Thynneghazi  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:55:12pm

re: #47 BongCrodny

According to their belief system, we're going to burn in hell forever.

Funny how that's not enough for them.

They're afraid we'll be taking their children with us. Because of the cookies.

49 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:55:50pm

re: #47 BongCrodny

According to their belief system, we're going to burn in hell forever.

Funny how that's not enough for them.

I've lost count of how many ways I've earned condemnation to Hell. Figure I've earned a condo overlooking the Lake of Fire.

50 jaunte  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:57:17pm

re: #38 Kragar

Cathie Adams is a bigoted nut, (aka "conservative leader").

“(W)e must place our faith in the ONE true God, then humble ourselves, pray and seek Him and repent for our sins. Then God will forgive us and heal our land. Do you think that a jealous God will tolerate ‘religious pluralism’ and allow us to come to Him any way we please? Absolutely not!”
[Link: tfninsider.org...]

51 Varek Raith  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:58:03pm

re: #50 jaunte

Cathie Adams is a bigoted nut, (aka "conservative leader").

I agree with her.
ALL HAIL ZOD!

52 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 12:58:38pm

re: #50 jaunte

Cathie Adams is a bigoted nut, (aka "conservative leader").

The Taliban was heard to declare "Right on, infidel!"

53 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:00:32pm

re: #50 jaunte

Cathie Adams is a bigoted nut, (aka "conservative leader").

So the same God who passed down "Thou shall not covet" is jealous of other deity's having believers?

What a dick move. No wonder Crom ignores him.

54 Targetpractice  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:02:57pm

re: #51 Varek Raith

I agree with her.
ALL HAIL ZOD!

Let us all kneel!

/

55 Varek Raith  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:04:37pm

re: #54 Targetpractice

Let us all kneel!

/

56 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:08:15pm

WTF!

57 JAFO  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:11:39pm

Likely Increase in Births Has Some Lawmakers Revisiting Cuts

When state lawmakers passed a two-year budget in 2011 that moved $73 million from family planning services to other programs, the goal was largely political: halt the flow of taxpayer dollars to Planned Parenthood clinics.

Now they are facing the policy implications — and, in some cases, reconsidering.

The latest Health and Human Services Commission projections being circulated among Texas lawmakers indicate that during the 2014-15 biennium, poor women will deliver an estimated 23,760 more babies than they would have, as a result of their reduced access to state-subsidized birth control. The additional cost to taxpayers is expected to be as much as $273 million — $103 million to $108 million to the state’s general revenue budget alone — and the bulk of it is the cost of caring for those infants under Medicaid.

The health agency’s numbers, while alarming to some state lawmakers, are not unexpected. Last legislative session, while lawmakers debated the cuts, the nonpartisan Legislative Budget Board estimated that they would lead 284,000 women to lose family planning services, resulting in 20,000 additional unplanned births at a cost to taxpayers of $231 million. The cuts passed anyway, a price that socially conservative legislators were willing to pay in their referendum on Planned Parenthood.

WTF did they think was going to happen?

58 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:13:54pm

re: #57 JAFO

Likely Increase in Births Has Some Lawmakers Revisiting Cuts

WTF did they think was going to happen?

The same assholes were crying last week that having declining birth rates were going to doom America because we would run out of tax payers and low income workers.

59 Sol Berdinowitz  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:15:22pm

re: #57 JAFO

Likely Increase in Births Has Some Lawmakers Revisiting Cuts

WTF did they think was going to happen?

They thought that Romney would win, a new day of morality would dawn on America and premarital sex would cease.

60 Sol Berdinowitz  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:16:02pm

re: #58 Kragar

The same assholes were crying last week that having declining birth rates were going to doom America because we would run out of tax payers and low income workers.

Yes, but most of these extra babies being born are going to be 47%-ers...

61 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:19:19pm

re: #57 JAFO

Likely Increase in Births Has Some Lawmakers Revisiting Cuts

WTF did they think was going to happen?

Nobody could have predicted!

Great job social conservatives. More poor children will now be born (and I have a real problem to people having children without a means to support them. It's blatantly irresponsible.)

But, at least there's some irony in that they're creating more future democrats with their actions against PP.

62 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:21:05pm

re: #58 Kragar

The same assholes were crying last week that having declining birth rates were going to doom America because we would run out of tax payers and low income workers.white people

63 Killgore Trout  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:22:42pm

re: #56 Vicious Babushka

WTF!

[Embedded content]

Haters gotta hate.

64 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:28:22pm

re: #35 Targetpractice

Listening to the talk about secession from sore losers is rather amusing. One of the running themes is the belief that they can negotiate a "peaceful" secession, that the US will just allow them to go if they make their case.

We want their share of the national debt paid up front and all military equipment from their states turned over first. Plus all the U.S. currency currently in their no longer FDIC insured or regulated "banks" and that is in circulation within their state.

They also have to set up their own currency and a foreign currency exchange and put up sufficient assets to monetize it before trade can resume with the rest of the country. They also have to agree to not attempt to keep any business from removing their assets from the state(s) and relocating to U.S. territory.

There is a bunch more, but since those conditions by themselves are insurmountable I really don't see any point in listing them all... ;)

65 simoom  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:29:28pm
66 Killgore Trout  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:32:08pm

Because nothing is sexier than the smell of rocket fuel
M75 Perfume Sold In Gaza Inspired By Deadly Rockets, Hamas, 'Victory'

It's actually "M75," a new perfume selling in Gaza, named after Hamas' recently developed missiles that are capable of hitting Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, reports the Times of Israel.

And according to Gaza shop owners, it's the smell of victory.

"It's only natural to use something like a victory to market our goods," explained Abu Ahmed, the owner of a shop selling the explosive-inspired perfume, to AFP.

"People are proud that we were able to hit Tel Aviv and Jerusalem with this M75 rocket and this name is much talked about and liked by people here," he said.

Shadi Adwan, the owner of the cosmetics company responsible for naming the product, described the fragrance as "pleasant and attractive, like the missiles of the Palestinian resistance, and especially the M75." He told the Palestinian daily Al-Resalah that the goal was to "remind citizens of the victory wherever they may be, even in China."

67 darthstar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:37:49pm

Just saw that Mitt Romney shook Paquaio's hand and wished him luck before the fight. That explains why he got his clock cleaned in the fifth round. Loser just gushes out of him like oil from a BP well head.

68 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:38:36pm

AFA goes after Pat Robertson over YEC

Last week, young earth Creationist leader Ken Ham lashed out at Pat Robertson for disputing the belief that Earth is approximately 6,000 years old. Now the American Family Association’s news arm OneNewsNow is out with a story, “Christian Broadcaster Straying From Scripture?” The AFA quotes a member of Ham’s Answers in Genesis skewering Robertson for insisting that humans did not live side-by-side with the dinosaurs:

Dr. Terry Mortenson of Answers in Genesis (AIG), who disagrees with Robertson, notes that the television show host challenges James Ussher, the renowned former archbishop of Ireland who traced the earth's creation based on the Bible and took the Bible as the Word of God.

"[Ussher] came up with a date of 4004 [B.C.] for creation by taking the genealogies in Genesis 5 and 11 as complete chronologies with no missing names, which is the way the church took those genealogies for 1,800 years," Dr. Mortenson explains. "So, he was just being a very, very careful student of the Scriptures and the chronological information given in Scripture."

Moreover, the AIG researcher notes that Robertson's claim that dinosaurs existed before biblical times is illogical, because there is no pre-biblical time; the Bible starts with the creation of the world.

Robertson also mentioned science's reliance on carbon dating, which Dr. Mortenson says reveals Robertson's ignorance on the subject.

"Carbon-14 is never used to date rocks or dinosaur bones; it's other dating methods which have much longer half-lives," Mortenson reports. "The maximum age you could date anything with radio carbon dating is about 80,000 or 100,000 years at the max, and dinosaurs supposedly lived 65 million to 245 million years ago. So he's really not informed on the dating methods."

AIG maintains that the Bible remains the true and final authority on the subject.

69 Henchman 25  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:40:20pm

re: #68 Kragar

Bwahahahaha
Dance, puppets. DANCE!

...Okay, maybe poor choice of words, but I do enjoy seeing their infighting.

70 Ghost of Tom Joad  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:46:10pm

re: #69 Henchman 25

Bwahahahaha
Dance, puppets. DANCE!

Like watching a monkey shit-fight at the zoo.

71 Kragar  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 1:46:20pm

re: #69 Henchman 25

Bwahahahaha
Dance, puppets. DANCE!

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

"I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

"Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

72 TedStriker  Mon, Dec 10, 2012 2:34:42pm

This article has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Cash.app
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Once Praised, the Settlement to Help Sickened BP Oil Spill Workers Leaves Most With Nearly Nothing When a deadly explosion destroyed BP’s Deepwater Horizon drilling rig in the Gulf of Mexico, 134 million gallons of crude erupted into the sea over the next three months — and tens of thousands of ordinary people were hired ...
Cheechako
Yesterday
Views: 64 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Texas County at Center of Border Fight Is Overwhelmed by Migrant Deaths EAGLE PASS, Tex. - The undertaker lighted a cigarette and held it between his latex-gloved fingers as he stood over the bloated body bag lying in the bed of his battered pickup truck. The woman had been fished out ...
Cheechako
4 days ago
Views: 165 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1