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Dumbest Man on Internet Says: Westboro Baptist Cult Is “Left-Wing”

Deep thoughts from Jim Hoft
Wingnuts • Views: 19,214
DERP

In the strange, incredibly simple mind of the Dumbest Man on the Internet, Jim Hoft, union members are always “thugs” or “goons,” Democrats are always “far left loons,” and even the social-conservative-on-meth Westboro Baptist Christian cult is “left-wing:” Bikers Turn Out to Protect Newtown Mourners From Left-Wing Westboro Cult | the Gateway Pundit.


Hoft is upset that the Cochrane Times correctly identified the Westboro Baptist group as “right wing.”

The vocal right-wing Christian group, whose website is godhatesfags.com, produced a video called “God Sent the Shooter,” and has blamed the massacre on gay marriage.

Since the Fred Phelps clan’s main obsession is their hatred of gays, and that’s also one of the right wing’s primary obsessions, this description is pretty self-evident.

But Hoft’s formidable intellect has discovered proof that Westboro is actually “left-wing” — Fred Phelps ran for office as a Democrat! Game over, man!

(GP Correction: Fred Phelps is not a ‘rightwinger’, he’s a Democrat. And the Westboro Church is not a Christian group - It is a sick cult.)

It is well known that Fred Phelps has run for office as a Democrat several times.
Shame on the Cochrane Times for labeling him rightwing!

Jump to bottom

52 comments

1 Locker  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:41:27pm

Derp is the only acceptable response to anything this dumbass utters.

2 Gus  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:42:09pm

Hilarious, the wingnuts are outraged at the Cochrane Times located in Cochrane, Alberta, Canada.

3 jaunte  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:42:46pm
Phelps describes himself as an Old School Baptist, and states that he holds to all of the Five Points of Calvinism. Phelps particularly highlights John Calvin's doctrine of unconditional election, the belief that God has elected certain people for salvation before birth, and limited atonement, the belief that Christ only died for the elect, and condemns those who believe otherwise.
[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

Typical left-winger.

4 ramex  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:42:48pm

And he's running with a "no true Scotsman" argument. Those Christians worshipping Christ aren't Christians!

5 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:45:35pm

Dim Jim, though, has competition for his coveted title. E.g.:

6 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:46:48pm

re: #3 jaunte

C'mon... we all know that Marx was a closeted Calvinist.

7 Lidane  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:47:18pm

Dim Hoft lives up to his name and his title.

Also, this is the greatest trolling photo of the WBC in ages:

8 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:53:57pm

So yeah, Christmas is looking mighty grim for Boehner. By The Hill's count, he could very likely fall just short of enough votes to pass his "Plan B," assuming no Democrats vote for it. If that's the case, then he's got a week to decide whether he wants to A) Try again, B) Go over the cliff, or C) Give in to the Dems and bring up the Senate bill for a vote.

9 Gus  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:57:05pm

re: #5 freetoken

Dim Jim, though, has competition for his coveted title. E.g.:

[Embedded content]

Freaking morons. The document Freedom From War was part of The United States Program for General and Complete Disarmament in a Peaceful World which was a part of the McCloy–Zorin Accords. It was about nuclear disarmament and within the context of a catastrophic global war.

10 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:58:45pm

re: #9 Gus

You only believe that because you've been drinking fluoridated water.

11 Lidane  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 1:58:59pm

OT, but worth sharing:

12 Cinnabar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:02:56pm

re: #8 Targetpractice

So yeah, Christmas is looking mighty grim for Boehner. By The Hill's count, he could very likely fall just short of enough votes to pass his "Plan B," assuming no Democrats vote for it. If that's the case, then he's got a week to decide whether he wants to A) Try again, B) Go over the cliff, or C) Give in to the Dems and bring up the Senate bill for a vote.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

13 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:04:00pm

Pastor: 9/11 and CT School Shooting were 'Gracious' Acts of God's Judgment

Pastor Bill Elliff of the Arkansas-based The Summit Church and the Religious Right group OneCry appeared on AFA Today with host Buster Wilson this week where he explained that the September 11 attacks and the elementary shooting in Newtown, Connecticut were “gracious” acts of divine punishment. He said that God allowed the two tragedies to occur because of “our humanistic pride” and secular government in order to “bring us to our senses and bring us back to him.”

Wilson was positively dumbfounded as to why people would be offended by such rhetoric and similar language by AFA spokesman Bryan Fischer, who said that God refused to stop the school shooting because he’s a “gentleman,” and Elliff worried the U.S. is going the way of the Roman and British empires.

Utter and complete fucking scum.

14 Gus  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:05:22pm

re: #10 freetoken

You only believe that because you've been drinking fluoridated water.

Never thought I'd see the day. Long haired hipster Birchers.

Related:

Address Before the General Assembly of the United Nations, September 25, 1961
President John F. Kennedy
New York City
September 25, 1961

...But I come here today to look across this world of threats to a world of peace. In that search we cannot expect any final triumph--for new problems will always arise. We cannot expect that all nations will adopt like systems--for conformity is the jailor of freedom, and the enemy of growth. Nor can we expect to reach our goal by contrivance, by fiat or even by the wishes of all.

But however close we sometimes seem to that dark and final abyss, let no man of peace and freedom despair. For he does not stand alone. If we all can persevere, if we can in every land and office look beyond our own shores and ambitions, then surely the age will dawn in which the strong are just and the weak secure and the peace preserved.

Ladies and gentlemen of this Assembly, the decision is ours. Never have the nations of the world had so much to lose, or so much to gain. Together we shall save our planet, or together we shall perish in its flames. Save it we can--and save it we must--and then shall we earn the eternal thanks of mankind and, as peacemakers, the eternal blessing of God.

Found by way of Dangerous Ground: America's Failed Arms Control Policy, from FDR to Obama.

15 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:05:24pm

Though the lettered boffins behind the DSM don't recognize it as such, I suggest that the following is characteristic of a wide spread mental illness - a categorical social sickness - that needs to be taken seriously:

Read the message... and then look at the picture.

Violent ideations are a pandemic in American society.

16 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:05:32pm

One thing you can say about the Phelps gang: they have united "Left" and "Right"

EVERYBODY HATES THEM!

If the entire Phelps gang were to be struck by lightning and all of its members burnt to death except for one, that one would totally picket the funerals of all the others.

17 Lidane  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:07:17pm

re: #13 Kragar

Pastor: 9/11 and CT School Shooting were 'Gracious' Acts of God's Judgment

Utter and complete fucking scum.

Best arguments for atheism ever. Bar none.

Listening to these cretins makes me realize I'd never want to believe in their asshole of a God.

18 Gus  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:08:00pm

re: #14 Gus

Never thought I'd see the day. Long haired hipster Birchers.

Related:

Address Before the General Assembly of the United Nations, September 25, 1961
President John F. Kennedy
New York City
September 25, 1961

Found by way of Dangerous Ground: America's Failed Arms Control Policy, from FDR to Obama.

19 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:08:04pm

re: #17 Lidane

Best arguments for atheism ever. Bar none.

Listening to these cretins makes me realize I'd never want to believe in their asshole of a God.

I'll stick with Crom.

20 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:08:36pm

I just realized that most people who write professionally tend to get more skilled as they write more; they learn what works and what doesn't, and expand their knowledge of syntax and grammar.

But Jim Hoft is exactly the same borderline illiterate no-writin' moron he was when I first heard about him years ago.

21 Obdicut  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:08:39pm

re: #11 Lidane

OT, but worth sharing:

[Embedded content]

Inoyue fought for his country when his country treated his ethnic group as second-class citizens and suspects. We owe so much to people like him who took the bigotry in America, faced it down, and helped us rise above it.

22 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:09:37pm

re: #19 Kragar

I'll stick with Crom.

I've never prayed to him before. I have no tongue for it.

23 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:10:06pm

re: #22 Targetpractice

I've never prayed to him before. I have no tongue for it.

I have someone else's tongue for it.

24 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:11:13pm

Texas Republican Suggests Falling TVs Are More Dangerous Than Guns

“People know what they need to do to be safe. We don’t need to legislate that — it’s common sense,” he said. “Once everyone’s gun is locked up, then the bad guys know everyone’s gun is locked up.”

Kacal echoed a common nationwide argument that guns don’t kill people, people kill people.

“I’ve heard of people being killed playing ping-pong — ping-pongs are more dangerous than guns,” he said. “Flat-screen TVs are injuring more kids today than anything.”

25 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:12:16pm

Ping pong balls are more dangerous than guns, which is why our armed forces use ping pong balls instead of rifles.

26 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:12:21pm

re: #20 Charles Johnson

It's supposed to be one of the few skills in which one can continually develop well past middle age - use of language in writing and communication, and thus one's capability in such peaks later in life. Most human learning - especially quantitative - goes downhill (in return on investment) past childhood.

Hoft seems to have maxed out his capability early.

27 Gus  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:14:59pm

Jake Tapper moving to Fox News Lite.

28 Lidane  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:15:03pm

re: #24 Kragar

Texas Republican Suggests Falling TVs Are More Dangerous Than Guns

Why doesn't it surprise me that this douchenozzle went to Texas A&M?

*sigh*

29 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:16:13pm

re: #13 Kragar

Pastor: 9/11 and CT School Shooting were 'Gracious' Acts of God's Judgment

Utter and complete fucking scum.

He's just letting us know what his fantasy world looks like. This is the way he thinks reality *should* operate: he asserts this is the will of "God", and there's no way he thinks "God" is wrong. Collective punishment, scapegoating, and make-an-example-of-'em sadism. That's the way things would be if ol' Pastor Elliff were in charge.

30 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:16:40pm

re: #28 Lidane

Why doesn't it surprise me that this douchenozzle went to Texas A&M?

*sigh*

The A & M stands for assholes and morons.

31 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:17:34pm

re: #24 Kragar

Texas Republican Suggests Falling TVs Are More Dangerous Than Guns

Yes, guns that are properly locked up don't pose a danger...except when your friend doesn't and you steal it from him during the night...or when you order your mother to give you access and then blow out her brains...or when you order them online...need I go on?

32 Renaissance_Man  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:18:31pm
He's just letting us know what his fantasy world looks like. This is the way he thinks reality *should* operate: he asserts this is the will of "God", and there's no way he thinks "God" is wrong. Collective punishment, scapegoating, and make-an-example-of-'em sadism. That's the way things would be if ol' Pastor Elliff were in charge.

Once you realise that their God is the Gun/Moloch as described in that wonderful piece I read last night, it's actually true. This mass shooting is yet another gift of the true American god, the Firearm. And it has indeed brought America closer to him, as evidenced by the huge rush of gun buying and NRA membership.

33 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:18:31pm

re: #31 Targetpractice

Yes, guns that are properly locked up don't pose a danger...except when your friend doesn't and you steal it from him during the night...or when you order your mother to give you access and then blow out her brains...or when you order them online...need I go on?

Don't make me break out the ping pongs.

34 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:19:21pm

re: #32 Renaissance_Man

Once you realise that their God is the Gun/Moloch as described in that wonderful piece I read last night, it's actually true. This mass shooting is yet another gift of the true American god, the Firearm. And it has indeed brought America closer to him, as evidenced by the huge rush of gun buying and NRA membership.

When Khorne stops and says "Guys, seriously, you need to back off some." you know you have a real problem.

35 Killgore Trout  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:19:52pm

I think the Phelps clan is sincere but part of me has always wondered if they're a "work". (Some sort of gimmick to get the crowd riled up, possibly to make an ironic statement about Christ and love).

36 Kragar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:21:11pm

re: #35 Killgore Trout

I think the Phelps clan is sincere but part of me has always wondered if they're a "work". (Some sort of gimmick to get the crowd riled up, possibly to make an ironic statement about Christ and love).

I'm pretty comfortable with just believing they're a bunch of hateful bastards.

37 nines09  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:22:26pm

Jim Hoft is just lucky that breathing is an involuntary action. If had to think about it, he'd suffocate.

38 CriticalDragon1177  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:23:38pm

Charles Johnson,

I think David Horrowitz's propaganda rag, Front Page Mag once referred to the Westboro Baptist Church as "Left wing" as well.

39 erik_t  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:23:50pm

I think it's fair to insert a caveat with regards to the WBC (that the vast majority of the right wing probably hates their guts), but it takes a truly Hoftian mind [sic] to take this reasonable sentiment and use it to determine that the WBC is left-of-center.

40 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:24:16pm

re: #35 Killgore Trout

The problem with them being a "work" is that they've been at it too long. While it is true that in the good ol days the professionals who "worked" the backwaters could carry on their acts for years, today we just know too much too quickly.

They've been around for a long time:
[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

While some people have suggested over the years that some of the television preachers were known "works", those about whom I have researched or been in contact with seem to be truly self-deceived.

41 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:28:48pm

The General is at it again:

42 freetoken  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:29:50pm

"Well regulated militiaman" indeed.

43 Randall Gross  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:30:00pm

re: #41 freetoken

The General is at it again:

[Embedded content]

Can't repeat this enough: if you have a gun in the house you are in more danger than if you don't.

44 Randall Gross  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:45:22pm

Let's do the checklist of where WBC and AFA and Jim (DUH DERP!) Hoft all are on the same wavelength:

1. anti abortion....check
2. anti-contraception ...check
3. anti-muslim.....check
4. anti-Obama ... check
5. anti-Clinton.... check
6. Thinks Obama is the antichrist... check

While Phelps did run in Democrat primaries back in the late 80's and supported Gore, he never came close to winning a primary and only supported Gore because of his stance against gay marriage.

45 EPR-radar  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:52:26pm

re: #43 Randall Gross

Can't repeat this enough: if you have a gun in the house you are in more danger than if you don't.

Agreed. The math is simple. Statistically speaking, gun ownership is an invitation to death, which is accepted from time to time.

The statistics for gun murder, gun suicide, and gun accidents that come with gun ownership admit of no other explanation.

46 A Man for all Seasons  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:52:28pm

How disappointing. ESPN only suspended Rob Parker for 30 days for his raciest remarks about RGIII. It's amazing ESPN has probably more scandals and lawsuits over sex and race than most corporations put together. Too many studs walking around the cubes with beautiful reporters.

47 Jimmah  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:55:38pm

re: #3 jaunte

Phelps describes himself as an Old School Baptist, and states that he holds to all of the Five Points of Calvinism. Phelps particularly highlights John Calvin's doctrine of unconditional election, the belief that God has elected certain people for salvation before birth, and limited atonement, the belief that Christ only died for the elect, and condemns those who believe otherwise.

A great novel concerning this belief and it's adherents is James Hogg's "The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner". Written in Scotland in 1824, it will strike many a chord with observers of religious wingnuttery in today's America.

[Link: www.gutenberg.org...]

That I was now a justified person, adopted among the number of God's children—my name written in the Lamb's book of life, and that no by-past transgression, nor any future act of my own, or of other men, could be instrumental in altering the decree. "All the powers of darkness," added he, "shall never be able to pluck you again out of your Redeemer's hand. And now, my son, be strong and steadfast in the truth. Set your face against sin, and sinful men, and resist even to blood, as many of the faithful of this land have done, and your reward shall be double. I am assured of your acceptance by the word and spirit of Him who cannot err, and your sanctification and repentance unto life will follow in due course. Rejoice and be thankful, for you are plucked as a brand out of the burning, and now your redemption is sealed and sure."

I wept for joy to be thus assured of my freedom from all sin, and of the impossibility of my ever again falling away from my new state. I bounded away into the fields and the woods, to pour out my spirit in prayer before the Almighty for his kindness to me: my whole frame seemed to be renewed; every nerve was buoyant with new life; I felt as if I could have flown in the air, or leaped over the tops of the trees. An exaltation of spirit lifted me, as it were, far above the earth and the sinful creatures crawling on its surface; and I deemed myself as an eagle among the children of men, soaring on high, and looking down with pity and contempt on the grovelling creatures below.

48 Lidane  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 2:59:50pm

Laser-like focus on jobs and the economy:

49 palmerskiss  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 3:22:46pm

re: #20 Charles Johnson

he certainly stretches the seams of credulity.

50 wheat-dogghazi  Thu, Dec 20, 2012 9:29:42pm

If Hoft believes all Democrats are leftwingers, he obviously has never been to Kentucky ... or any other state south of the Mason-Dixon line.

51 thecommodore  Fri, Dec 21, 2012 3:16:49am

Anyone who disagrees with conservatives are "left wing." Any extremist group with ties to prominent conservatives is actually "left wing," - ie Vlaams Belang, who Dennis Prager said had a left wing platform.

These people believe fascism is actually a variant of Marxism, with the only difference being whether or not the govt owns the means of production.

These people will someday need deprogramming.

52 Dr. Matt  Fri, Dec 21, 2012 11:00:45am

Math is simple:

Vehemently anti-gay + fundamentalist = right-wing


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