Wingnut Free Verse of the Day: “TOTAL FAKE”

Skeeter poetry slam
Wingnuts • Views: 33,153
DERP

Today’s wingnut free verse comes from the comment section for this post by the Internet’s Dumbest Man, Jim Hoft, the mighty Gateway Pundit: Gun Expert: “Obama Shoots a Gun Like He Throws a Baseball” …(President Panzy Pants) | the Gateway Pundit.

Quality wingnut-speak there: Obama shoots like a PANZY! Har de har har durr. Hoft quotes an anonymous source for this breaking news:

An anonymous gun expert, who did not wish to be identified, had this to say about Obama’s shooting style.

“Either the recoil kicked his ass or he doesn’t know to lean into the shot when shooting. He shoots a gun like he throws a baseball. That’s a ported shot gun. (holes - venting - at the end of the barrel. Less recoil.) You port really high power firearms to reduce the kick when fired. It helps with control and is less punishing. The smoke coming out of the top of the barrel lessens the muzzle jump and recoil. It means he’s a panzy. And it still threw him back. It also means he never shoots a gun.”

This is why Jim Hoft has such a reputation as a brilliant conservative essayist.

Meanwhile, at every single right wing blog, commenters are raving that the White House’s skeet-shooting photo is a PHOTOSHOP FAKE — they can tell by analyzing the pixels. And one of the best comments we’ve found in this vein comes from Hoft’s post, so maybe it wasn’t a complete waste after all.

Reformatted as free verse, we’ll title this one:

TOTAL FAKE

TOTAL FAKE..

Here’s why.
Cheek pressed against a fired
shot gun doesn’t fare well.

It’s an idiot who does this
or gets a hell
of a bruise.

Smoke is photo shopped.

If he just pulled the trigger
his cheek wouldn’t be fixed
on the butt
if the gun.

His shoulder would
be jammed backwards.

He’s aiming
ground level.

Unless he’s aiming
for the skeet “shooter” he’s
not aiming high enough

for skeet.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds Tweet

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Square Cash Shop at amazon
as an LGF Associate!
Recent PagesClick to refresh
Does Alex Jones Merit an Interview?blog.timesunion.com If you wish to see pictures from the blog, please click on the link above. Thanks. Does Alex Jones merit an interview?By Rob Hoffman on June 22, 2017 at 5:29 AM0People love to divide up the world. So now ...
rhoffman
1 hour, 20 minutes ago
Views: 120 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Russians Targeted 21 Election Systems, U.S. Official Says Russian hackers targeted 21 U.S. state election systems in the 2016 presidential race and a small number were breached but there was no evidence any votes were manipulated, a Homeland Security Department official told Congress on Wednesday. Jeanette Manfra, ...
Tarkloon
10 hours, 21 minutes ago
Views: 225 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
The Tax Divide — Chicago Tribune Chicago has long been a city divided by race and class, a metropolis with starkly different crime rates, economic realities and educational opportunities depending on where you live. But there’s another division in Chicago and Cook County, one that ...
Birth Control Works
1 day, 20 hours ago
Views: 273 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Comments: 0
: 1
Phoenix Flights Cancelled Because It’s Too Hot for Planes As temperatures climb in Phoenix, Arizona, more than 40 flights have been cancelled - because it is too hot for the planes to fly. The weather forecast for the US city suggests temperatures could reach 120F (49C) on Tuesday. ...
Tarkloon
1 day, 21 hours ago
Views: 427 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 31 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Comments: 0
: 1
Presenting the Jay Sekulow Band Here's their cover of "Long Time" by Boston The band—featuring Sekulow on drums and guitar—includes John Schlitt, best known as the lead singer for the pioneering Christian rock band Petra, and John Elefante, the mustachioed former lead singer of ...
thecommodore
2 days, 12 hours ago
Views: 360 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
In Lynwood, Advanced Placement Classes Are No Longer Only for the Elite The school district’s hope is that the challenging AP courses inspire students to go straight from high school to college and help them do better when they get there. Research suggests that students who take more difficult high school ...
Birth Control Works
2 days, 23 hours ago
Views: 349 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
the Capital Region Yearns for More Ethnic Delis!blog.timesunion.com For pictures and videos, please click on the link above. Thanks.We’ve been living in the Capital Region of New York State for almost 24 years., and I really don’t have a lot of complaints. Oh sure, the Route 7 ...
rhoffman
3 days, 1 hour ago
Views: 311 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 5 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
French Montana - Unforgettable Ft. Swae Lee"Unforgettable" ft. Swae Lee Available at iTunes: smarturl.itApple Music: smarturl.itSpotify: smarturl.itGoogle Play: smarturl.itAmazon Digital: smarturl.itDeezer: smarturl.itSoundcloud: smarturl.itTidal: smarturl.it French Montana online:frenchmontanamusic.cominstagram.com@FrencHMonTanAfacebook.com (C) 2017 Epic Records, a division of Sony Music Entertainment/Bad Boy Entertainment
Tarkloon
3 days, 10 hours ago
Views: 336 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Can One Get Blocked for Quoting Trump? Get blocked for just quoting? .Trump Quotes On 9/11: 'Thousands and thousands of people were cheering' 'A total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the US" 1/5 — Daniel Ballard (@RW_Conspirator) June 18, 2017 .Trump Quote "'I'd bring back ...
Unshaken Defiance
3 days, 17 hours ago
Views: 429 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Coconut Oil ‘As Unhealthy as Beef Fat and Butter’ It is packed with saturated fat which can raise "bad" cholesterol, says the American Heart Association in updated advice. Coconut oil is commonly sold as a health food and some claim the fat in it may be better for ...
Tarkloon
4 days ago
Views: 407 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 2 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Comments: 0
: 0