TwitterFacebook

Wingnut Free Verse of the Day: “TOTAL FAKE”

Skeeter poetry slam
Wingnuts • Views: 32,205
DERP

Today’s wingnut free verse comes from the comment section for this post by the Internet’s Dumbest Man, Jim Hoft, the mighty Gateway Pundit: Gun Expert: “Obama Shoots a Gun Like He Throws a Baseball” …(President Panzy Pants) | the Gateway Pundit.

Quality wingnut-speak there: Obama shoots like a PANZY! Har de har har durr. Hoft quotes an anonymous source for this breaking news:

An anonymous gun expert, who did not wish to be identified, had this to say about Obama’s shooting style.

“Either the recoil kicked his ass or he doesn’t know to lean into the shot when shooting. He shoots a gun like he throws a baseball. That’s a ported shot gun. (holes - venting - at the end of the barrel. Less recoil.) You port really high power firearms to reduce the kick when fired. It helps with control and is less punishing. The smoke coming out of the top of the barrel lessens the muzzle jump and recoil. It means he’s a panzy. And it still threw him back. It also means he never shoots a gun.”

This is why Jim Hoft has such a reputation as a brilliant conservative essayist.

Meanwhile, at every single right wing blog, commenters are raving that the White House’s skeet-shooting photo is a PHOTOSHOP FAKE — they can tell by analyzing the pixels. And one of the best comments we’ve found in this vein comes from Hoft’s post, so maybe it wasn’t a complete waste after all.

Reformatted as free verse, we’ll title this one:

TOTAL FAKE

TOTAL FAKE..

Here’s why.
Cheek pressed against a fired
shot gun doesn’t fare well.

It’s an idiot who does this
or gets a hell
of a bruise.

Smoke is photo shopped.

If he just pulled the trigger
his cheek wouldn’t be fixed
on the butt
if the gun.

His shoulder would
be jammed backwards.

He’s aiming
ground level.

Unless he’s aiming
for the skeet “shooter” he’s
not aiming high enough

for skeet.

^ back to top ^

TwitterFacebook

Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing!
Take advantage of our yearly subscription, and save 50% off the normal subscription price! One-year ad-free subscriptions are just $59.95. Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing now and save!
Read more...

► LGF Headlines

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Articles

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Pages

  • Loading...

► Top 10 Comments

  • Loading...

► Bottom Comments

  • Loading...

► Recent Comments

  • Loading...

► Tools/Info

► Tag Cloud

► Contact

You must have Javascript enabled to use the contact form.
Your email:

Subject:

Message:


Messages may be published unless you request otherwise.
Tech Note:
Using the Contact Form
LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2015-03-17 11:42 am PDT

LGF User's Guide
Recent Pages
Thanos
Bruce Schneier’s Data and Goliath: The Hidden Battles to Collect Your Data and Control Your World
You are under surveillance right now. Your cell phone provider tracks your location and knows who's with you. Your online and in-store purchasing patterns are recorded, and reveal if you're unemployed, sick, or pregnant. Your e-mails and texts expose ...

1 hour, 33 minutes ago
Views: 27 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Fred72
Are conservatives anti-science?
Are conservatives anti-science? Spoiler: Conservatives aren't anti-science or pro-science. But, they are pro-common-sense. And once more scientists adopt common sense approach to science, they'll find that they have the support of conservative politicians - the people whose job it is ...

2 days ago
Views: 604 • Comments: 25
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
EiMitch
Cracked: 8 Things Vietnam War Movies Leave Out (By an Enemy Soldier)
cracked.com Once the fighting started, a lot of people died, well over a million on our side alone. For the war to continue, a constant stream of new fighters had to join up, and they didn't have the benefit of ...

3 days, 4 hours ago
Views: 641 • Comments: 6
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 7
Romantic Heretic
The Lavender Scare
Here is an interesting article on one of Tail Gunner Joe's sick witch hunts that has, unfortunately, been forgotten. I try not to feel schadenfreude of the fate of McCarthy's side kick, Ray Cohn, but I never succeed.

3 days, 11 hours ago
Views: 445 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
FemNaziBitch
Should Women ‘Man Up’ at the Office, or Does Office Culture Need to ‘Man Down’?
About the Graphic How should a woman try to get ahead in a male-dominated workplace? Perhaps the answer lies less on women "manning up" and more in how businesses value their employees. Many women confront this tension as they ...

4 days, 13 hours ago
Views: 782 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
William Barnett-Lewis
Orthopraxy Pt 2
If we accept the idea of Orthopraxy over Orthodoxy, then what does evangelism look like? What is the Witness of those who try to follow the Way of Christ Jesus? To evangelize is to spread the good news that we ...

5 days, 1 hour ago
Views: 498 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
thecommodore
Eric Alterman: A Wake-Up Call for US Liberals
A short column in The Nation that is a must read. The primary difference between liberalism and conservatism, at least in theory, is that the latter is an ideology and the former isn't. Conservatism, as Milton Friedman argued, posits that ...

5 days, 9 hours ago
Views: 720 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 5
Great White Snark
The NSA Has Taken Over the Internet Backbone. We’re Suing to Get It Back.
Blow off Snowden all you like, but what was revealed to be true is still true. The NSA lacks oversight with power. FISA is already too much and now they casually exceed even that generous provision. The world first learned ...

1 week ago
Views: 766 • Comments: 9
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
Lumberhead
Lead Prosecutor Apologizes, Admits Mistakes in Glenn Ford Case
This is a powerful admission of culpability and I applaud his courage in making it. It really should be read in its entirety. Glenn Ford should be completely compensated to every extent possible because of the flaws of a system ...

1 week, 3 days ago
Views: 922 • Comments: 4
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 8
Dark_Falcon
Sarah Vine of the DM gets it wrong on teaching about rape.
Sarah Vine of the DM gets it wrong: SARAH VINE: Teaching 11-year-olds about rape is a form of child abuse The problem with this country, I've come to realise, is that it treats adults like children and children like adults. ...

2 weeks, 4 days ago
Views: 1,572 • Comments: 6
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 9
 Frank says:

You can tell what they think of our music by the places we are forced to play it in. This looks like a good spot for a livestock show. -- The Mothers of Invention were opening for Cream in April of 1968 in Chicago. The place was very large and did look like it had been used for displays of cattle and other such animals.