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Not the Onion: Glenn Beck Will Redefine the 4th of July by Talking to the Man in the Moon

Not the Onion
Weird • Views: 22,667

I really think Glenn Beck may finally be losing his mind — for real this time, not just ranting crazily to bilk the rubes. His latest grandiose plan has a distinct odor of outright lunacy, with emphasis on the luna: Glenn Beck Will Save the 4th of July by Talking to the ‘Man in the Moon’ in Utah.

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41 comments

1 Kragar (Antichrist )  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:02:24pm

I’ve often said that the 4th of July needs more 30 tall giant robots and fictional electric battles between Tesla and Edison.

2 Targetpractice  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:02:31pm

…I want whatever he’s smoking.

3 erik_t  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:02:38pm

I hope he conducts the interview from Clint Eastwood’s chair.

4 Glenn Beck's Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:03:28pm

If he weren’t such an evil shitbag he could be a really mediocre performance artist.

5 Kragar (Antichrist )  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:05:18pm

Beck’s original piece on this from the Blaze:

[Link: www.video.theblaze.com…]

6 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:06:10pm

THERE’S GOLD IN THAT THAR MOON!!!

7 stabby  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:06:55pm

I never forget that before the anti-obamacare hysteria (a band wagon he jumped on at 100 mph) he did a show ranting about his stay in the hospital and calling for socialized medicine. Then he moved to Fox and Obamacare became proof of Nazism….

Is he a random idiot? Is he a whore? Who the fuck cares?

8 Targetpractice  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:07:11pm

Do you believe…they put a man on the Moon…?

//

9 stabby  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:07:13pm

But yeah, now he sounds cracked.

10 Feline Fearless Leader  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:09:04pm

re: #9 stabby

But yeah, now he sounds cracked.

He was possessed by The Onion.

11 Feline Fearless Leader  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:09:49pm

re: #3 erik_t

I hope he conducts the interview from Clint Eastwood’s chair.

He’ll use the frequency that was finally acquired from Kenneth.
/

12 lawhawk  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:10:09pm

Man in the moon?

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me ‘till I’m sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There’s someone in my head but it’s not me.

Besides, everyone knows that the moon’s made of cheese. Preferably Wensleydale.

13 Feline Fearless Leader  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:12:24pm

re: #12 lawhawk

Man in the moon?

The lunatic is in my head
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me ‘till I’m sane
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There’s someone in my head but it’s not me.

Besides, everyone knows that the moon’s made of cheese. Preferably Wensleydale.

And protected from intruders by coin-operated skiing robots.
:)

14 Dr Lizardo  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:12:26pm

WTF?!

Wow. He’s gone full-bore. Loony, that is.

I really don’t know what to say to this. It’s complete madness.

15 stabby  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:14:52pm

My prediction is that his fans won’t be fazed in the slightest.

16 Lidane  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:19:00pm

Obligatory:

17 Kragar (Antichrist )  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:19:11pm

Evangelicals upset that they’re being accused of calling gays pedophiles after calling gay pedophiles

As soon as the story broke that the Boy Scouts of America was considering a change in its national ban on gay members, Religious Right leaders immediately claimed that such a move would lead to an increase in child abuse in the Scouts.

But in a desperate attempt to play the victim, the very same conservative activists are now upset that they are facing criticism over their attempts to connect homosexuality with pedophilia.

The American Family Association’s Sandy Rios invited Peter LaBarbera of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality onto her show today to defend her repeated attempts to link homosexuality with pedophilia, all the while claiming that she didn’t really say it, except that she did.

18 Mongo only pawn... in game of life.  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:19:32pm

Some people are on drugs and some people should be on drugs, and Glenn Beck is a drug. So what’s the name of the “Man In The Moon” anyway?

19 ReamWorks SKG  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:19:34pm

I truly believe Glenn Beck is certifiably mad. Other people on TV and Radio I think are just earning a living (Rush Limbaugh, Nancy Grace) through a character they “invented”, but I think Glenn Beck is nuts.

20 Killgore Trout  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:23:38pm

It’s not like this is going to stop the drone panic but….
The LAPD Is Not Using Drones to Hunt Fugitive Christopher Dorner

“Reports that U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s unmanned aircraft systems (UAS) are being used are incorrect. CBP UAS are not flying in support of the search,” a spokesperson from the U.S. Customs and Border Protection told Mashable via email.

The statement from the CBP comes as others had already cast doubt on the original report’s claim.

21 Kragar (Antichrist )  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:24:18pm

re: #20 Killgore Trout

It’s not like this is going to stop the drone panic but….
The LAPD Is Not Using Drones to Hunt Fugitive Christopher Dorner

Well, of course they’re going to say that…
///

22 Killgore Trout  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:24:51pm

re: #21 Kragar (Antichrist )

Well, of course they’re going to say that…
///

Cover up!

23 Glenn Beck's Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:26:22pm

There’s nobody in those helicopters you know. Drones aren’t new, they’re just smaller.

Follow the chemtrails!

24 Stoatly  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:28:02pm

re: #22 Killgore Trout

Cover up!

Duck and Cover!

25 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:28:21pm

re: #21 Kragar (Antichrist )

We couldn’t get drones to BENGHAZI on time but we can be sure to send some to hunt down one man!!!!

//

26 Varek Raith  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:29:05pm

Houston, we have a problem.

27 Bulworth  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:29:47pm
Peter LaBarbera of Americans For Truth About Homosexuality

Sounds like a new grifter group invented out of thin air for, or by, LaBarbera.

28 Varek Raith  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:31:16pm
29 Dr Lizardo  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:32:51pm

re: #23 Glenn Beck’s Grand Unifying Theory of Obdicut

There’s nobody in those helicopters you know. Drones aren’t new, they’re just smaller.

Follow the chemtrails!

CHEMTRAILGHAZI!!1!

30 Targetpractice  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:34:37pm

GOP preparing to put another ignoble “first” under their belt:

Inhofe Promises To ‘Postpone’ Hagel Confirmation Vote

Sen. Jim Inhofe (R-OK) told the National Review Online that he and other Republicans plans to “postpone” the confirmation of Chuck Hagel, President Obama’s nominee for secretary of defense.

“I’ll do that for as long as it takes,” Inhofe said. “I’m going to make sure there is a 60-vote margin.”

“Hagel may be passed out of the committee, but it’s going to be a long, long time before he hits the floor,” Inhofe said. “We’re going to need as much time as possible, and there are going to be several of us who will have holds.”

Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman Carl Levin (D-MI) scheduled a vote to pass Hagel’s confirmation out of committee for Tuesday.

31 Varek Raith  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:35:17pm

Because we don’t need a Secretary of Defense.
Nope!

32 Bulworth  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:35:42pm

re: #30 Targetpractice

Just remember, America’s national security is the most important thing in the world to them. //

33 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:36:00pm

re: #30 Targetpractice

If that doesn’t improve congressional approval ratings, nothing will.

34 Lidane  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:36:24pm

re: #30 Targetpractice

GOP preparing to put another ignoble “first” under their belt:

Inhofe Promises To ‘Postpone’ Hagel Confirmation Vote

Someone remind me again how the GOP are the party of the mature adults and the Dems are the whiny, crying children.

35 Feline Fearless Leader  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:37:00pm

re: #34 Lidane

Someone remind me again how the GOP are the party of the mature adults and the Dems are the whiny, crying children.

Because the GOP says so! So shut up.
////

36 Dr Lizardo  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:37:25pm

re: #33 Our Precious Bodily Fluids

If that doesn’t improve congressional approval ratings, nothing will.

Let them continue to flounder and show themselves as the completely brainless incompetent jackasses that they are.

37 Targetpractice  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:41:14pm

This would be historic, as no Congress has ever seen the filibuster of a cabinet nominee. Yet the GOP is going forward with it for no other reason than because there’s a black guy in office. Every effort they’ve made to kill this nomination has failed, so now they’re taking the step of making fools of themselves before the nation.

I’d say I was surprised, but that would be a lie.

38 Gus  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:41:14pm

re: #22 Killgore Trout

Cover up!

Chem-trails! Fluoride! HAARP! Drones!

39 Kragar (Antichrist )  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:42:56pm
40 BongCrodny  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:46:08pm

I swear to god, if Glenn Beck started talking how the sun revolves around the earth, we’d see the Internet Idiot Brigade going “Well, how do we really know the earth revolves around the sun?”

41 Stoatly  Mon, Feb 11, 2013 12:49:17pm

re: #39 Kragar (Antichrist )

Poper Scooper?


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 Frank says:

In every language, the first word after "Mama!" that every kid learns to say is "Mine!" A system that doesn't allow ownership, that doesn't allow you to say "Mine!" when you grow up, has -- to put it mildly -- a fatal design flaw. From the time Mr. Developing Nation was forced to read "The Little Red Book" in exchange for a blob of rice, till the time he figured out that waiting in line for a loaf of pumpernickel was boring as f*ck, took about three generations. ... Decades of indoctrination, manipulation, censorship and KGB excursions haven't altered this fact: People want a piece of their own little Something-or-Other, and, if they don't get it, have a tendency to initiate counterrevolution.