How Acorn Infiltrated the White House in 1950
A wingnut fairy tale
It was a dark time in U.S. History. The cold war was heating up and delusional sheeple voters had kept a tyrannical socialist from Independence in power as President. Truman stole the election from Dewey with a secret organization not yet named Acorn… and he even proposed National Health Insurance!11!
Conservatism’s saviour, Saint Reagan, was still working on his grand opus “Bedtime for Bonzo,” and had not yet turned to politics. Ammurrrican taxpayers were being bled dry by a massive socialist ponzi scheme called “The Marshall Plan” and our teens were being seduced by dreaded jungle music called “Doo Wop” and “Rock and Roll.”
While real Americans were following McCarthy and Nixon’s carreer, the dastardly Truman secretly gutted the White house!11! He left just the shell up, secretly bringing in construction equipment piece by piece to rip the White house’s very heart out.
Now revealed, see the horror below as one of our treasured national landmarks was raped, gutted, and subverted to the evil designs of Acorn!11!
Then the rebuilding and infiltration began. If you look closely at the lower right of the photo below you can see that Acorn is embedded in the very bones of the reconstructed White House.
Humor aside — the White house actually was found to be structurally unsound and in imminent danger of collapse, so President Harry S. Truman and his First Lady had to live elsewhere for a couple of years as the entire White house got rebuilt inside. There’s a great slideshow of the rebuilding from the National Archives here.