GOHMERT!

Fear the bristling Gohmert
Wingnuts • Views: 26,292
Bristling Gohmert

The dumbest man in Congress, Texas Representative Louie “Terror Babies from the Future” Gohmert, got all lathered up yesterday because Eric Holder said, in so many words, that Gohmert didn’t know WTF he was talking about when he asked a weird, pointless question about some tortuous Muslim-Christian persecution fantasy he apparently got from World Net Daily. So the hearing wasn’t a complete waste.

“Because of political correctness, there was not a thorough enough investigation of Tamerlan to determine this kid had been radicalized,” Gohmert said of one of the Boston bombing suspects. “On the one hand, we go after Christian groups like Billy Graham’s group - we go after Franklin Graham’s group - but then we’re hands-off when it comes to possibly offending someone who has been radicalized as a terrorist.”

Holder responded by saying that Gohmert didn’t have access to all of the facts.

“Unless somebody has done something inappropriate, you don’t have access to the FBI files,” he said. “I know what the FBI did. You cannot know what I know.”

Gohmert bristled at the suggestion that he was making false statements, repeatedly telling Holder that he “challenged my character.”

Related
Louie ‘Terror Babies’ Gohmert: Aurora Shootings Caused by Not Enough God

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73 comments
1 darthstar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:17:21pm

Challenging Gohmert’s character….wouldn’t that require Gohmert having character?

2 sauceruney  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:18:08pm

Challenging the character of the character challenged.

3 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:18:45pm

Not to read too much into a squishy language like English, but that’s certainly the equivalent of the “you can’t prove that!” guilt-answer. Express outrage and hope it’s enough to keep anyone from actually discussing the meat of the accusation.

4 Kragar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:18:51pm

SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

5 Bubblehead II  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:19:01pm

Challenging his Character? Nah. Sanity? Most likely.

6 Kragar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:19:29pm

Doesn’t Louie need to go defend a golf course from the UN?

7 Single-handed sailor  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:21:04pm

Dammit! It’s just not right for the Attorney General to cast aspersions on Gohmert’s asparagus.

8 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:22:00pm

re: #6 Kragar

Doesn’t Louie need to go defend a golf course from the UN?

I love that to conservatives, conserving resources is a dirty awful idea.

The more the modern crazy fringe rambles on, the more I start to wonder if post-Eisenhowerian conservatism has ever made any sense.

9 Walking Spanish Down the Hall  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:22:47pm

People are so gullible. That’s the only reason I can think of for his election.

10 darthstar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:22:59pm

Holy shit…is this the third?

11 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:23:49pm

re: #10 darthstar

Holy shit…is this the third?

It is. It’s surreal, as if God is trolling us.

12 darthstar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:25:24pm

re: #11 erik_t

It is. It’s surreal, as if God is trolling us.

Someone did explain to these guys that their job was to prevent and not promote sexual harassment, yes?

13 RadicalModerate  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:25:50pm

What’s really disheartening is the fact that even though Louie Gohmert is likely the dumbest man in Congress, there are close to a dozen other Texas Republican Congressmen and both Texas Senators who give him serious competition for this distinction.

And it’s just as bad, if not worse at the state level.

14 blueraven  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:26:01pm

re: #7 Single-handed sailor

Dammit! It’s just not right for the Attorney General to cast aspersions on Gohmert’s asparagus.

I know Gohmert is a nut case, but that part…I still have no clue!

15 darthstar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:27:39pm

Not to be outdone in stupidity:

16 Targetpractice  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:27:52pm

This is why so many of these “scandals” that the GOP has tried to gin up during Obama’s presidency have ended up going nowhere. They overplay their hand, they grandstand and they bloviate, and eventually all the “concerns” and “threats” end up being overshadowed by the heaping mountain of derp.

17 Decatur Deb  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:28:26pm

re: #7 Single-handed sailor

Dammit! It’s just not right for the Attorney General to cast aspersions on Gohmert’s asparagus.

I know Gohmert is a nut case, but that part…I still have no clue!

Cubist poetry. Say it out loud, with passion.

18 Minor_L  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:29:26pm

The fact that a sitting Congressman said, “because of political correctness” in a hearing makes me just want to crawl into bed and stay there for the next 20 years. I feel like the country is being run by the same people who make comments on Dim Jim Hoft’s website and misuse “your” and “you’re.”

19 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:31:00pm

re: #15 darthstar

Not to be outdone in stupidity:

Dumber than a box of rusty chisels.

20 blueraven  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:31:43pm

Fox news still pushing hard on Benghazi TP today. They cant let go that bone, even after it has been gnawed down to a stub.

21 blueraven  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:32:56pm

re: #18 Minor_L

The fact that a sitting Congressman said, “because of political correctness” in a hearing, makes me just want to crawl into bed and stay there for the next 20 years. I feel like the country is being run by the same people who make comments on Dim Jim Hoft’s website and misuse “your” and “you’re.”

your just a commie lib!
/

22 Lidane  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:33:50pm

re: #15 darthstar

23 jaunte  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:35:32pm

“Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, perhaps the dumbest mammal to enter a legislative chamber since Caligula’s horse”
— Charles P. Pierce

24 Lidane  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:36:47pm

re: #23 jaunte

“Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, perhaps the dumbest mammal to enter a legislative chamber since Caligula’s horse”
— Charles P. Pierce

Caligula’s horse was useful. The jury’s still out on GOHMERT!

25 darthstar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:37:17pm
26 Targetpractice  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:37:45pm

re: #22 Lidane

I still remember this one wingnut arguing at me until he was blue in the face that we should count Bush’s total job creation by basically just cherry-picking the high-point of total employment prior to the Great Recession. His logic? The GR was totally not Bush’s fault, even if he’d greased the skids with tax cuts and further deregulation, and so the subsequent collapse can’t be held against him.

That was about the point I started looking for something particularly hard and durable to repeatedly beat my head against.

27 jaunte  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:38:20pm
Gohmert bristled at the suggestion that he was making false statements, repeatedly telling Holder that he “challenged my character.”

Ignorance of the facts is not necessarily a character flaw, but having an oversensitive asparagus could be.

28 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:38:59pm

Too good not to share:

Youtube Video
29 goddamnedfrank  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:39:18pm

In the old days questioning a man’s asparagus was duel worthy.

30 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:40:15pm

re: #19 erik_t

Dumber than a box of rusty chisels.

My 8th grade teacher had two sayings:

“dumber than a box of rocks ”
&
“dumber than a bowl of borscht”

31 jaunte  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:40:41pm

Gohmert did attend Texas Agricultural and Mechanical.

32 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:41:14pm

re: #30 FemNaziBitch

My 8th grade teacher had two sayings:

“dumber than a box of rocks ”
&
“dumber than a bowl of borscht”

Michelle is dumber than a cardboard box of borscht.

33 EPR-radar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:41:19pm

re: #23 jaunte

“Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas, perhaps the dumbest mammal to enter a legislative chamber since Caligula’s horse”
— Charles P. Pierce

Two fine suggestions from the comments at Esquire:

1) End the sentence at “mammal”

2) Caligula’s horse has been slandered.

34 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:41:20pm

re: #10 darthstar

Holy shit…is this the third?

Yeah, predators actively get themselves into positions in which they will be successful —positions of power over those they wish to exploit.

You’d think the Military would know that.

35 Lidane  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:42:40pm

re: #31 jaunte

Gohmert did attend Texas Agricultural and Mechanical.

And he lives up to every Dumb Aggie joke in existence.

36 EPR-radar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:42:50pm

re: #30 FemNaziBitch

My 8th grade teacher had two sayings:

“dumber than a box of rocks ”
&
“dumber than a bowl of borscht”

I’m fond of the (long-winded): “Too stupid to empty water out of a boot, even with instructions written on the sole of the boot.”

37 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:42:54pm

re: #32 erik_t

Michelle is dumber than a cardboard box of borscht.

1) Dumber than a bag of hammers.

2) Dumb as a stump.

38 engineer cat  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:43:08pm

o.t.

just sitting here contemplating how it could be that a blast of evil politics and backstabbing directed at me have had the effect of blowing me straight out of hell and back onto a warm, sunny meadow

huh

39 AlexRogan  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:43:24pm

Let’s hear what James T. Kirk has to say about ol’ Louie…

40 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:43:41pm

re: #36 EPR-radar

I’m fond of the (long-winded): “Too stupid to empty water out of a boot, even with instructions written on the sole of the boot.”

Why do the (fill-in-the-blank rival team) basketball players have T.G.I.F. stenciled on the side of the tongues of their gym shoes?

41 Gus  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:43:56pm

Image: Gohmert_.jpg

42 AlexRogan  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:44:05pm

re: #37 GeneJockey

1) Dumber than a bag of hammers.

2) Dumb as a stump.

Sharp as a bag of wet mice.

43 EPR-radar  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:44:07pm

re: #35 Lidane

And he lives up to every Dumb Aggie joke in existence.

Gohmert was an elected judge before starting his illustrious congressional career.

44 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:44:33pm

re: #40 FemNaziBitch

Why do the (fill-in-the-blank rival team) basketball players have T.G.I.F. stenciled on the side of the tongues of their gym shoes?

Toes Go In First.

45 Lidane  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:44:33pm

re: #37 GeneJockey

1) Dumber than a bag of hammers.

2) Dumb as a stump.

Obligatory:

Youtube Video
46 jaunte  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:44:35pm

re: #41 Gus

Double creepy.

47 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:45:10pm

re: #39 AlexRogan

I thought you might use the line from “Tribbles” -

“On the contrary, Commissioner. I take this project very seriously. It is YOU I take lightly.”

48 Timothy Watson  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:45:16pm

Is Gohmert even aware that the IRS is part of the Treasury Department, and not Justice?

49 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:45:21pm

Any Montessorians out there?

Youtube Video

strange voice audio, but other than that it is hilarious.

50 Bubblehead II  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:45:25pm

re: #37 GeneJockey

1) Dumber than a bag of hammers.

2) Dumb as a stump.

Denser than a bar of lead.

51 erik_t  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:45:50pm

re: #50 Bubblehead II

Denser than a bar of lead.

Osmium takes offense at that.

52 AlexRogan  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:46:23pm

re: #48 Timothy Watson

Is Gohmert even aware that the IRS is part of the Treasury Department, and not Justice?

Given who we’re talking about, would it really matter?

53 ProTARDISLiberal  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:46:55pm

Still no leaks on Doctor Who, though the BBC is now pumping out a healthy stream of stills from the episodes. Impressive, I say.

Two more days, this is what I am feeling right now.

54 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:47:23pm

re: #50 Bubblehead II

Denser than a bar of lead.

Maybe 49 cards, maybe even 50, but definitely not a full deck.

55 Bubblehead II  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:48:03pm

Dredging through you tube for good ol’ Louie.

Terror Babies!!!!!!!!!

Youtube Video
56 Targetpractice  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:49:16pm

re: #50 Bubblehead II

Denser than a bar of lead.

Elevator does not go all the way to the top.

57 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:50:05pm

re: #56 Targetpractice

Elevator does not go all the way to the top.

Fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down.

(Dr. Phil, I think)

58 AlexRogan  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:50:16pm

re: #56 Targetpractice

Elevator does not go all the way to the top.

A can or two short of a six-pack.

59 Dr Lizardo  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:50:47pm

re: #58 AlexRogan

A can or two short of a six-pack.

A couple of tacos short of a fiesta platter.

60 Bubblehead II  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:51:07pm

re: #56 Targetpractice

Elevator does not go all the way to the top.

I think the cable broke, the brakes failed to engage and the car fell to the bottom of the shaft. Sadley, he survived.

61 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:51:34pm

re: #51 erik_t

Osmium takes offense at that.

Back in 1981, my boss suggested I try a DNA sequencing method that used OsO4 (Osmium Tetroxide). When I read that it could render the corneas permanently opaque, I politely said, “No, thank you.”

Labelling fragments with 10 mCi of 32P, and working with Piperidine was bad enough.

62 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:51:49pm

SFB!!!

(shit-for-brains)

63 Lidane  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:51:54pm

re: #43 EPR-radar

Gohmert was an elected judge before starting his illustrious congressional career.

Yep. And he was infamous for a case where he ordered an HIV positive man convicted of auto robbery to get written consent from all his future sex partners. You know, because the guy’s HIV status was somehow relevant to the fact that he stole cars.

64 FemNaziBitch  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:51:55pm
Youtube Video
65 Gus  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:53:36pm

Image: Box-of-Gohmert-Hammers.jpg

66 Gus  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:55:35pm

Image: Gohmert-Hammer-at-Work.jpg

67 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:56:51pm

re: #66 Gus

Image: Gohmert-Hammer-at-Work.jpg

When you only have a Gohmert, everything looks like a nail.

68 goddamnedfrank  Thu, May 16, 2013 3:57:21pm

A little advice:

Youtube Video
69 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, May 16, 2013 4:01:11pm

re: #65 Gus

Image: Box-of-Gohmert-Hammers.jpg

That particular photo looks like something that would be used as a mask for a Noh play or some Greek drama.

70 Gus  Thu, May 16, 2013 4:05:30pm

re: #69 Feline Fearless Leader

That particular photo looks like something that would be used as a mask for a Noh play or some Greek drama.

Image: Gohmert-Noh-Mask.jpg

71 GeneJockey  Thu, May 16, 2013 4:07:36pm

re: #70 Gus

Image: Gohmert-Noh-Mask.jpg


That’s Noh Mask! That’s a Congressman!

72 sauceruney  Thu, May 16, 2013 5:31:02pm

124,398 people are responsible for this person being in office. 124,398. Just once I’d like to see someone of Holder’s caliber ask Gohmert how many people voted for him, and then tell him their collective opinion doesn’t mean shit.

73 Mentis Fugit  Thu, May 16, 2013 6:52:09pm

re: #5 Bubblehead II

Challenging his Character? Nah. Sanity? Most likely.

Greenslade: Mr EcclesGohmert we are not for one moment doubting your sincerity, it’s just your intelligence that’s in question.

EcclesGohmert: Well I accept your apology.

Roos loose in the top paddock.
The wheel is spinning but the hamster’s dead.


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