Tech Note: A PHP Function to Properly Calculate the Length of a Tweet Before Sending It

Learning how to count
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As everyone who uses Twitter knows, there’s a limit of 140 characters per tweet. For Twitter API programmers like me, this means your code has to make sure the tweet you’re about to send is not longer than 140 characters, or Twitter will smack you on the knuckles with a ruler and send back the dreaded error message:

Error: 403 - Status is over 140 characters

So what’s the problem, you ask? Just get the length of the tweet you’re proposing to send and make sure it isn’t over 140 characters. Easy, right?

Well, it used to be this easy, but then Twitter started automatically running all links in tweets through their own custom URL shortener (t.co) — even if they’re already shortened with another service.

(Note: when you look at a tweet on Twitter, you won’t necessarily see the “t.co” URL, either; Twitter automatically expands these links when it displays a tweet. But it’s stored internally as a “t.co” URL.)

This change made correctly calculating the length much more complex; now your code has to scan the tweet text to find URLs, and adjust the overall length to account for what happens when Twitter’s URL shortener does its thing.

If you’re doing this calculating in Javascript, you’re in luck; there’s an official Twitter text processing library for Javascript that includes a method called getTweetLength().

But if you need to calculate the length in a PHP script, you’re not so lucky. There is a PHP version of the twitter-text library, but the latest version doesn’t have a getTweetLength() function, alas.

Which brings us to the point of this post: my version of getTweetLength() for PHP (implemented in our “Now Playing” auto-tweets).

This code uses the PHP twitter-text scripts (linked above), so you’ll need to first upload them to a convenient place in your server’s PHP include path.

A summary of how it works: it’s called with two parameters, the tweet text string, and a true/false flag called $gotImage which indicates whether the tweet will have an image attached. It sets up variables for the t.co lengths of http and https URLs, and the length of an image URL. Then it calls the Twitter_Extractor class (as a singleton) to parse the tweet with a whole bunch of magical regular expressions, and return all the data about it in an associative array called $urlData. (If you run tests/example.php from the PHP twitter-text package, you’ll see the structure of this array.)

Then the code gets the “raw” length of the tweet in the variable $tweetLength (oddly enough), and goes into a loop for each URL found in the tweet, first subtracting the raw length of the URL from $tweetLength, then adding back the length of the t.co-shortened URL. It checks to see if the original URL was an http or https link, and adjusts accordingly.

When the loop finishes, it checks to see if the tweet has an image, and adds the length of that URL (which will also end up shortened with t.co). In this example, we’re just assuming there’s no image, so we pass FALSE to the function.

Note: Twitter recommends that you use their API to check the default lengths of shortened URLs on a periodic basis, because they might change.

require_once 'twitter-text/Extractor.php';

function getTweetLength($tweet, $gotImage) {
	$tcoLengthHttp = 22;
	$tcoLengthHttps = 23;
	$twitterPicLength = 22;
	$urlData = Twitter_Extractor::create($tweet)->extract();
	$tweetLength = mb_strlen($tweet);
	foreach ($urlData['urls_with_indices'] as $url) {
		$tweetLength -= mb_strlen($url['url']);
		$tweetLength += mb_stristr($url['url'], 'https') === 0
			? $tcoLengthHttps
			: $tcoLengthHttp;
	}
	if ($gotImage) $tweetLength += $twitterPicLength;
	return $tweetLength;
}

$tweet = '#NowPlaying Fountains of Wayne > Fountains of Wayne > Leave the Biker http://lgf.bz/wuVVAm';
if (getTweetLength($tweet, FALSE) > 140) {
	echo 'Error! The tweet is longer than 140 characters.';
} else {
	tweetThisMutha($tweet);
}

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257 comments
1 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:16:27pm

tweetThisMutha

Niiiice.

2 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:26:50pm

The current Sufjan Stevens song must be up there as a tweeting challenge. Song title:

The Black Hawk War, or, How To Demolish An Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience But You’re Going To Have To Leave Now, or, “I Have Fought The Big Knives And Will Continue to Fight…

Result of clicking ‘tweet this song’:

-179

3 Charles Johnson  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:29:17pm

re: #2 wrenchwench

Yeah, that one’s never gonna tweet.

4 Dr. Matt  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:33:23pm

Here’s a question to Charles and/or any other computer savvy types. Is it possible to retrieve the code to embed Tweets using an iPhone or iPad? I have Safari on both devices, but it doesn’t give me the ability to get the embed information. TIA

5 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:33:24pm

Short titles are almost always best.

6 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:36:01pm

Watch the vid.

7 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:37:27pm
8 Dr. Matt  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:37:44pm

re: #5 Eclectic Cyborg

Short titles are almost always best.

Youtube Video

9 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:40:00pm

Error: 403 - Status is over 140 characters

but there are eight million people in new york city, and every single one of them is a character

10 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:40:32pm

Lamar Alexander’s DC office chief of staff arrested during child pornography investigation.

blogs.rollcall.com

“I was just informed by the United States Senate legal counsel’s office that law enforcement agents are conducting a search of the personal residence of Ryan Loskarn, the chief of staff of my Washington, D.C., office regarding allegations involving child pornography,” the statement from the Tennessee Republican read. “I am stunned, surprised and disappointed by what I have learned. Based on this information, I immediately placed Mr. Loskarn on administrative leave without pay. The office is fully cooperating with the investigation.”

(snip)

“Loskarn served as a top staffer to Alexander when the senator was Senate Republican Conference chairman. Because of his position as a key leadership aide, Loskarn appeared on Roll Call’s Fabulous 50 list of influential staffers from 2009 to 2011. Loskarn was taken off the list after Alexander stepped down from leadership. Alexander named Loskarn his personal office chief of staff in 2011.

(snip)

Five hours after placing Loskarn on administrative leave, Alexander announced that he was replacing him as chief of staff.” (my emphasis)

Obviously, there must have been plenty of evidence for this arrest.

11 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:42:11pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

Watch the vid.

[Embedded content]

Oh brother. Yeah, they’re lucky. It’s also one of the stupidest fucking landings ever. Clear day and even with a VFR landing or using the VASI lights. These idiots drop the thing right onto the bulkhead. Inexcusable. Makes you wonder how that flight crew got this far.

12 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:43:13pm

re: #7 Backwoods_Sleuth

[Embedded content]

Imma post your Blue Mosque retweet, OK?


Ooops, I skipped the Steve Inskeep part. Oh well.

13 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:45:05pm

In other words, sorcery.

14 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:48:07pm
15 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:49:07pm

Didn’t really burst into flames.

16 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:50:32pm

re: #10 Justanotherhuman

This really doesn’t sound good for Loskarn. Was he mailing child pornography and receiving it by mail?

“Video taken at the scene by WJLA-TV shows Loskarn being led from his southeast D.C. home by U.S. Postal Inspector police who put him in a black SUV. Loskarn appears to be in handcuffs, although a coat is draped over his arms.

“U.S. Justice Department spokesman Peter Carr said in a statement that Loskarn was arrested based on probable cause for possession and distribution of child pornography charges.”

(snip)

“According to Loskarn’s biography on his LinkedIn account and in previous communications for Alexander’s office, Loskarn graduated from Tulane University in 2000 and went to work for retired Republican U.S. Rep. Wally Herger of California as a legal assistant. He later was the communications director for U.S. Rep. Marsha Blackburn, a Tennessee Republican, and eventually became staff director for the Senate Republican Conference.”

abcnews.go.com

So, one of Blackburn’s Boys.

17 Internet Tough Guy  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:55:58pm
possession and distribution of child pornography

The only thing lower than that on the human filth scale is production. Damn.

18 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:57:00pm

re: #12 wrenchwench

Imma post your Blue Mosque retweet, OK?

[Embedded content]


Ooops, I skipped the Steve Inskeep part. Oh well.

is ok…it’s gorgeous photo.

19 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 2:58:21pm


Dumb fuck.

20 Single-handed sailor  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:00:43pm

re: #19 Gus

[Embedded content]


Dumb fuck.

…or as KTVU2 News would say, “Dum Fuk”.

21 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:01:58pm

re: #20 Single-handed sailor

…or as KTVU2 News would say, “Dum Fuk”.

Not cute.

22 Rev_Arthur_Belling  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:03:36pm

re: #16 Justanotherhuman

In for a world of hurt, he is.

23 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:04:38pm

re: #19 Gus

[Embedded content]


Dumb fuck.

The pilot at the controls was a trainee. It was his first international flight.
The dumb fuck was the flight captain who was supposed to be “supervising”.

24 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:05:13pm

Getting some lag here. LGF side?

25 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:05:55pm

Go fuck yourselves, MI legislature.

Mich. Legislature approves abortion insurance law

ajc.com

“Employers and individuals will have to buy extra insurance to cover almost all abortions. Their primary plan won’t apply in cases of rape or incest and only if an abortion is needed to save the woman’s life.”

Religious ideology ruling govt.

26 Rev_Arthur_Belling  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:05:59pm

First time I’ve actually downdinged something.

27 Single-handed sailor  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:07:07pm

re: #26 Rev_Arthur_Belling

First time I’ve actually downdinged something.

That’s alright, I’m due for one.

28 Targetpractice  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:08:02pm

So yeah, I now find out that after getting their panties all in a wad over the Obama/Cameron/Schmidt selfie, that Dubya and Bono also took a selfie at the same memorial service but got none of the play over how it was “inappropriate” behavior at the same memorial where people were dancing, singing, and laughing in the aisles in celebration of Mandella’s life and memory.

My surprise, etc.

29 Rev_Arthur_Belling  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:08:25pm

re: #27 Single-handed sailor

And now we’re even. Why can’t the rest of society function this way?

30 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:13:15pm

re: #23 Backwoods_Sleuth

The pilot at the controls was a trainee. It was his first international flight.
The dumb fuck was the flight captain who was supposed to be “supervising”.

No excuse. He was well below airspeed and had all red VASI lights. This is basic flight stuff. Pilot and co-pilot should watch each other. The co-pilot should have been familiar with all controls on the pointy end of the plane regardless of experience. I hope he enjoys his new career after he loses his license.

31 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:13:27pm
possession and distribution of child pornography

distribution?? that’s even worse

sick puppy will be at the bottom of the totem pole in the federal pen

32 klys  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:14:55pm

re: #23 Backwoods_Sleuth

The pilot at the controls was a trainee. It was his first international flight.
The dumb fuck was the flight captain who was supposed to be “supervising”.

There are so many conversations we could be having here: the increased use of automation in airplanes today, and what that means for pilots’ skills at manual flying compared to 25 years ago. The role workplace culture potentially plays in situations like this, regarding how forcefully someone speaks out when they see something wrong and what it would mean to admit *even within the cockpit* that you don’t know/aren’t comfortable with something. How training may need to be adapted to deal with these challenges in the future.

Ultimately the responsibility for what happened on that flight rests with the pilots in the cockpit. If we’re interested in actually making sure it doesn’t happen again, however, the discussion needs to be a little more thorough than who is the “dumb fuck” here.

33 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:15:38pm

Oh. Well, later.

34 klys  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:16:09pm

re: #33 Gus

Oh. Well, later.

My surprise, etc., etc.

35 The Yankee  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:19:34pm

By the way Charles Johnson, for what it’s worth I prefer these new pop up adds over the way to aggressive one that had the robot with the blue eyes. Is it enough to not use an Adblock app when visiting the site to support it or do I actually have to click the ad for you to profit?

36 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:20:19pm

re: #32 klys


Point taken; it’s a bad choice of words and I apologize.
I was responding to Gus and wanted to point out that the person being blamed for this was a trainee. There were two other more experienced pilots “supervising”, so to solely blame the trainee IMHO is wrong.

37 blueraven  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:22:20pm

Oh brother.

Now we cant say “dumb fuck” anymore? We have to discuss everything in politically correct terms?

It’s a blog, not an academic paper.

38 klys  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:23:06pm

re: #36 Backwoods_Sleuth

Point taken; it’s a bad choice of words and I apologize.
I was responding to Gus and wanted to point out that the person being blamed for this was a trainee. There were two other more experienced pilots “supervising”, so to solely blame the trainee IMHO is wrong.

Oh, I agree with that entirely. Like I said, ultimate responsibility is with the pilots in the cockpit, no ifs, ands, or buts. They should be capable of flying the plane. Period.

I just think that to actually *have* the conversations that need to be had in order to make sure something like this doesn’t happen again, there are other factors that need to be looked at. I know that’s part of what the NTSB is doing with its investigation.

39 gwangung  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:25:57pm

re: #37 blueraven

Oh brother.

Now we cant say “dumb fuck” anymore? We have to discuss everything in politically correct terms?

It’s a blog, not an academic paper.

DUmb fuck is PC. Dum Fuk is not. Do you not get this?

40 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:27:02pm

re: #26 Rev_Arthur_Belling

First time I’ve actually downdinged something.

It wasn’t a bad ethnic joke, it was a slam at KTVU for their fuck up, when they listed, then spoke, some stupid ethnic joke names for the flight crew, on the air, after the crash.

41 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:27:19pm

re: #39 gwangung

DUmb fuck is PC. Dum Fuk is not. Do you not get this?

See above.

42 blueraven  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:28:58pm

re: #39 gwangung

DUmb fuck is PC. Dum Fuk is not. Do you not get this?

That wasn’t what my comment was in reference to but thanks for playing.

43 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:29:30pm

Can Cruz get more vile? Why yes, yes he can.

Ted Cruz Walks Out Of Nelson Mandela Memorial Service In Protest

huffingtonpost.com

“The Cuban-American U.S. Senator from Texas traveled to South Africa as part of a congressional delegation to attend Nelson Mandela’s memorial service on Tuesday. In contrast to President Obama, who made headlines for greeting Cuban head of state Raúl Castro with a handshake, Cruz walked out of the ceremony when Castro’s turn came to speak, ABC News reports. “

So your daddy didn’t fight with his brother after all?

44 b_sharp  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:31:11pm

re: #42 blueraven

That wasn’t what my comment was in reference to but thanks for playing.

We’re playing a game and nobody told me?

This is what happens when your popularity wanes.

45 gwangung  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:31:17pm

re: #42 blueraven

Then my apologies—-end of the day, fuzzy head.

It wasn’t a bad ethnic joke, it was a slam at KTVU for their fuck up, when they listed, then spoke, some stupid ethnic joke names for the flight crew, on the air, after the crash.

It wasn’t clear to me that it was meant that way. It looked like a thousand other stupid “jokes” I’ve seen far too much of.

46 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:31:54pm

re: #43 Justanotherhuman

It would probably be wrong to hope for an early opportunity to show the same (lack of) respect to Cruz at his funeral.

47 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:32:27pm

re: #36 Backwoods_Sleuth

Point taken; it’s a bad choice of words and I apologize.
I was responding to Gus and wanted to point out that the person being blamed for this was a trainee. There were two other more experienced pilots “supervising”, so to solely blame the trainee IMHO is wrong.

As a manager, I know that if anyone in my group fucks up, it’s my fuckup as well. It’s still their fuckup, but it’s also my responsibility. That’s one of the down sides of managing - you get dinged for fuckups that you did not directly cause.

48 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:32:53pm
49 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:33:32pm

re: #45 gwangung

Then my apologies—-end of the day, fuzzy head.

It wasn’t clear to me that it was meant that way. It looked like a thousand other stupid “jokes” I’ve seen far too much of.

Oh, yeah, absolutely understood! I just didn’t want folks thinking less of SHS on the basis of a misunderstanding.

50 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:33:43pm

re: #46 wrenchwench

It would probably be wrong to hope for an early opportunity to show the same (lack of) respect to Cruz at his funeral.

Someone said if Cruz went to a baby christening, he’d want to be the baby.

Such an immature attention whore. He can’t stand it because, well, you know.

Madiba stood for everything Cruz doesn’t, but he would have treated him with respect, not bullshit.

51 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:33:47pm

re: #2 wrenchwench

The current Sufjan Stevens song must be up there as a tweeting challenge. Song title:

Result of clicking ‘tweet this song’:

Last night’s musical is going to be a problem too:

“The Persecution and Assassination of Jean-Paul Marat as Performed by the Inmates of the Asylum of Charenton Under the Direction of the Marquis de Sade”

52 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:35:29pm

David is looking in the wrong direction!

53 AlexRogan  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:36:05pm

re: #43 Justanotherhuman

Can Cruz get more vile? Why yes, yes he can.

Ted Cruz Walks Out Of Nelson Mandela Memorial Service In Protest

huffingtonpost.com

“The Cuban-American U.S. Senator from Texas traveled to South Africa as part of a congressional delegation to attend Nelson Mandela’s memorial service on Tuesday. In contrast to President Obama, who made headlines for greeting Cuban head of state Raúl Castro with a handshake, Cruz walked out of the ceremony when Castro’s turn came to speak, ABC News reports. “

So your daddy didn’t fight with his brother after all?

You know, the cynic in me thinks that Cruz went to Mandela’s funeral specifically for the chance to do something like this, if the opportunity presented itself; everything else was gravy.

54 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:36:14pm

re: #52 wrenchwench

David is looking in the wrong direction!

[Embedded content]

Silly Discover magazine. Needles don’t got heads. They got eyes.

55 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:37:08pm

A recent study by Denmark’s Economic Council showed that many of those who do not find work right away wait until just before their benefits expire to take anything available. The study argues against lengthy payments, showing that recipients tend not to seek the jobs they could get but rather those they would like to have

yes thank you i already understand that you think all formerly decently paid factory and office workers should take minimum wage jobs at walmart and fast food joints, you fat assed conceited pundit asshole

56 blueraven  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:37:38pm

re: #54 GeneJockey

Silly Discover magazine. Needles don’t got >heads. They got >eyes.

Unless it is a knitting needle

57 klys  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:38:05pm

Apologies to the folks I apparently annoyed.

58 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:38:07pm

re: #54 GeneJockey

Silly Discover magazine. Needles don’t got >heads. They got >eyes.

I should have noticed that.

59 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:39:22pm

re: #53 AlexRogan

You know, the cynic in me thinks that Cruz went to Mandela’s funeral specifically for the chance to do something like this, if the opportunity presented itself; everything else was gravy.

I’m not quite THAT cynical, but I’m close. I figure that Cruz is doing what he did when he cut the House Tea Party Caucus adrift back in the ‘Shutdown/Default’ dustup - swing far to the Right for the simpletons, then do something reasonable so he doesn’t look as stupid as, say, Steve Stockman.

Here, I figure he went to Mandela’s funeral to look all ‘Statesmanlike’, then walked out during Castro’s remarks to appeal to the rubes.

I think he’s a less clever version of Noot.

60 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:41:03pm

re: #56 blueraven

Unless it is a knitting needle

True, but 1) making a sculpture smaller than the head of a knitting needle is merely difficult, not AMAZING!!!, and 2) if it were a knitting needle, that fly would be FUCKING ENORMOUS!!!!

61 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:41:24pm

re: #57 klys

Apologies to the folks I apparently annoyed.

Should I feel annoyed? ‘Tis the season for grievances.

62 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:42:21pm

re: #61 Decatur Deb

Should I feel annoyed? ‘Tis the season for grievances.

“And now for the Airing of Grievances. I’m really DISAPPOINTED in you people!”

63 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:42:25pm

I have no idea what this is in reference to, but it looks like a handy excuse reason for something.

64 klys  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:43:39pm

re: #61 Decatur Deb

Should I feel annoyed? ‘Tis the season for grievances.

Sure, why not?

I’m just pixels on a screen, after all.

65 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:43:40pm

re: #56 blueraven

Unless it is a knitting needle

or a nit-picking needle

/// apologies!

66 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:43:47pm

re: #61 Decatur Deb

Should I feel annoyed? ‘Tis the season for grievances.

Hurray for Festivus!

67 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:47:06pm

re: #65 dog philosopher

or a nit-picking needle

/// apologies!

My wife’s Mom was a teacher, and there was an outbreak of head lice at the school. She had to inspect the kids for lice and nits. Since she was a germphobe, she didn’t want to touch the kids’ heads, so she used one of her knitting needles instead of doing the ‘monkey grooming’ thing by hand.

My wife said, “So, now it’s a Nitting needle?”

Her Mom was not amused.

68 blueraven  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:48:47pm

re: #60 GeneJockey

True, but 1) making a sculpture smaller than the head of a knitting needle is merely difficult, not AMAZING!!!, and 2) if it were a knitting needle, that fly would be FUCKING ENORMOUS!!!!

True, but would make quite the yarn to spin for the grand kids.

69 Bubblehead II  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:51:23pm

re: #57 klys

Apologies to the folks I apparently annoyed.

No apologies required or needed. We tend to annoy each other on a daily basis. I think it’s in our blood. Deity of your choice knows I have more than once annoyed a few Lizards on more than one occasion. Usually when I ignore the Ironfist rule.

70 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:52:17pm

Rounding ‘em up.

White supremacist charged with threatening judge, State Attorney, FBI agent

William White of Roanoke, Va., is accused of threatening key figures in the prosecution against American Front members.

orlandosentinel.com

“William A. White, a 36-year-old white supremacist from Roanoke, is accused of threatening former State Attorney Lawson Lamar, Circuit Judge Walter G. Komanski and an FBI task force agent.

“More than a dozen suspected members of the American Front were arrested last year and accused of conducting paramilitary training in Osceola County to prepare for what they believed would be a race war.

“After their arrests, death threats emerged on several websites, and prosecutors say White demanded authorities release the 14 people facing state charges.”

71 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:54:16pm

re: #65 dog philosopher

or a nit-picking needle

/// apologies!

If you ever get to the Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem, there is an ivory comb for grooming out nits. It’s part of the materials recovered from the 1st Cent BCE Essene settlement at Qumran. While is is meticulously handmade of ivory, not plastic, it is exactly like a 20th Cent comb. Never seen such technological stability.

Image: combs.jpg

72 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:54:56pm

re: #68 blueraven

True, but would make quite the yarn to spin for the grand kids.

When you’re old and crochetty?

73 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:56:27pm

re: #70 Justanotherhuman

William A. White, a 36-year-old white supremacist from Roanoke, is accused of threatening former State Attorney Lawson Lamar, Circuit Judge Walter G. Komanski and an FBI task force agent.

Well, isn’t that convenient?

74 Bubblehead II  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:58:01pm

re: #71 Decatur Deb

If you ever get to the Museum of the Book in Jerusalem, there is an ivory comb for grooming out nits. It’s part of the materials recovered from the 1st Cent BCE Essene settlement at Qumran. While is is meticulously handmade of ivory, not plastic, it is exactly like a 20th Cent comb. Never seen such technological stability.

Image: combs.jpg

Some designs are so basic and simple even modern science can’t improve on them. Though you do have to wonder how the hell they were able to make cuts that fine without breaking the bone.

75 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 3:58:25pm

re: #54 GeneJockey

Silly Discover magazine. Needles don’t got >heads. They got >eyes.

pine needles

76 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:00:41pm

re: #74 Bubblehead II

Some designs are so basic and simple even modern science can’t improve on them. Though you do have to wonder how the hell they were able to make cuts that fine without breaking the bone.

Thinking something like thread and fine abrasive.

77 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:01:17pm

re: #71 Decatur Deb

If you ever get to the Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem, there is an ivory comb for grooming out nits. It’s part of the materials recovered from the 1st Cent BCE Essene settlement at Qumran. While is is meticulously handmade of ivory, not plastic, it is exactly like a 20th Cent comb. Never seen such technological stability.

Image: combs.jpg

ah!

this subject is addressed in petroski’s ‘the evolution of useful things’

amazon.com

How did the table fork acquire a fourth tine? What advantage does the Phillips-head screw have over its single-grooved predecessor? Why does the paper clip look the way it does? What makes Scotch tape Scotch?

In this delightful book Henry, Petroski takes a microscopic look at artifacts that most of us count on but rarely contemplate, including such icons of the everyday as pins, Post-its, and fast-food “clamshell” containers. At the same time, he offers a convincing new theory of technological innovation as a response to the perceived failures of existing products—suggesting that irritation, and not necessity, is the mother of invention.

78 BeenHereAwhile  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:04:36pm

re: #31 dog philosopher

‘possession and distribution of child pornography’

distribution?? that’s even worse

sick puppy will be at the bottom of the totem pole in the federal pen

He’ll be “short eyes.”

That ain’t healthy among the inmates.

79 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:06:04pm

re: #77 dog philosopher

ah - this subject is addressed in petroski’s ‘the evolution of useful things’

amazon.com

apparently the paperclip underwent an evolutionary spurt at the end of the 19th century, but the design has been stable since then, or at least until the advent of the plastic paper clip

The comments there are contentious enough—makes you think he pissed off a bunch of his students. Wonder how the lice comb impacts his “irritation is the mother of invention”.

80 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:07:31pm

re: #78 BeenHereAwhile

He’ll be “short eyes.”

That ain’t healthy among the inmates.

What are the odds he’ll end up in a Club Fed?

81 Bubblehead II  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:08:21pm

re: #76 Decatur Deb

Thinking something like thread and fine abrasive.

I could see that as a way to do it. But the time spent to make one of those using that technique would put such a comb in the realm of something only the wealthy could (and probably did) afford.

82 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:09:16pm

re: #81 Bubblehead II

I could see that as a way to do it. But the time spent to make one of those using that technique would put such a comb in the realm of something only the wealthy could (and probably did) afford.

Not much to do in a ‘monastery’ on the Dead Sea.

83 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:10:24pm

re: #74 Bubblehead II

Some designs are so basic and simple even modern science can’t improve on them. Though you do have to wonder how the hell they were able to make cuts that fine without breaking the bone.

scoring it with a needle or other fine point, gently, over and over and over and over

84 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:10:41pm

bbl

85 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:12:03pm

re: #74 Bubblehead II

Some designs are so basic and simple even modern science can’t improve on them. Though you do have to wonder how the hell they were able to make cuts that fine without breaking the bone.

It’s amazing what you can do when you have a lot of really, really cheap labor. The watches of the 18th Century used a small chain*, similar to a bicycle chain slightly thicker than a thick human hair. These were put together by small children, who had the hands and eyes for the work. Children were cheap and don’t eat much, especially if you don’t especially care about them.

*The chain is attached at one end to the mainspring barrel and at the other to a spiral ramp called a fusee. The fusee drove the movement, and the reason for the spiral ramp was to equalize the force from the mainspring from fully wound to almost unwound. Better metallurgy negated the need for it, but the principle was still used into the mid-20th Century in Marine Chronometers.

86 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:12:54pm

This guy is a natural with kids.

A nice diary in which a woman recalls her earlier acquaintance with #44 in Chicago, and relates a little of why I voted for this man twice.

theobamadiary.com

87 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:14:22pm

re: #83 FemNaziBitch

scoring it with a needle or other fine point, gently, over and over and over and over

Or a fine saw or file, and a jig. That’s how watch wheels were cut, when it was done by hand.

88 BeenHereAwhile  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:15:31pm

re: #80 Eclectic Cyborg

What are the odds he’ll end up in a Club Fed?

Depends on severity of conviction and length of sentence.

My guess, probably not.

89 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:15:58pm


It’s going down.

90 Bubblehead II  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:16:34pm

re: #78 BeenHereAwhile

He’ll be “short eyes.”

That ain’t healthy among the inmates.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that isn’t going to happen. Given who he is and the political connections he has, he will (if convicted after a fair trail) go to club fed on a 10 yr sentence, be paroled after 4 yrs (with good behavior) and be back out on the street. Though he will have to register as a sex offender. Just the way it is.

91 Bubblehead II  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:17:44pm

re: #80 Eclectic Cyborg

What are the odds he’ll end up in a Club Fed?

Pretty much guarantied.

92 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:21:51pm

re: #3 Charles Johnson

Yeah, that one’s never gonna tweet.

This is actually the first LGF post I’ve printed out, because I think my father will understand it better than I do.

93 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:21:55pm

Yet another idiot who thinks personal insults are how you win Teh Twitters

94 BeenHereAwhile  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:23:19pm

re: #81 Bubblehead II

re: #76 Decatur Deb

‘Thinking something like thread and fine abrasive.’

I could see that as a way to do it. But the time spent to make one of those using that technique would put such a comb in the realm of something only the wealthy could (and probably did) afford.

My guess is that the comb blanks were individually sliced from a block of material, then clamped back together; then teeth were carved with thread or wire and fine abrasive.

If that was your task, slave or no, you did it or else; as life was cheap back in the day.

95 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:25:21pm

re: #93 Lord of the Pies

Yet another idiot who thinks personal insults are how you win Teh Twitters

[Embedded content]

He also tweeted an ugly insult directed at Michelle Obama. I’ve not been contacted by the asshole, but I’ve blocked him anyway. No point in talking to someone who is only online to spew hate and show his ass.

96 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:29:23pm

Looking at the sidebar, we’ve got a Bryan Fischer Trifecta going, So much derp from one individual… it must wear on him something fierce. Bless his heart (which if you live in the south, you know BHH is NOT a compliment)

RBS

97 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:29:24pm

re: #95 Dark_Falcon

He also tweeted an ugly insult directed at Michelle Obama. I’ve not been contacted by the asshole, but I’ve blocked him anyway. No point in talking to someone who is only online to spew hate and show his ass.

Well, that gets rid of at least half the internet!
///

98 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:30:26pm

re: #97 GeneJockey

Well, that gets rid of at least half the internet!
///

Fine. I don’t find asshats interesting.

99 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:33:25pm

re: #98 Dark_Falcon

Fine. I don’t find asshats interesting.

Just think of the time it would save it asshats automatically got their own font. You could scroll past them without having to subject yourself to the asshattery.

And it would be useful, too, for those of us who occasionally stray into asshattery (and who doesn’t sometimes?), to suddenly see our words appearing in 10pt Asshat.

100 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:34:50pm

I hereby propose an asshat gulag.

101 moderatelyradicalliberal  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:35:07pm

Look who just signed up for some Obamacare

huffingtonpost.com

102 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:35:27pm

re: #101 moderatelyradicalliberal

Look who just signed up for some Obamacare

huffingtonpost.com

Well I guess he doesn’t want to be President.

103 moderatelyradicalliberal  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:38:26pm

re: #102 Eclectic Cyborg

Well I guess he doesn’t want to be President.

That possibility was killed by trying to promote immigration reform and the water bottle incident.

104 BeenHereAwhile  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:38:27pm

re: #90 Bubblehead II

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that isn’t going to happen. Given who he is and the political connections he has, he will (if convicted after a fair trail) go to club fed on a 10 yr sentence, be paroled after 4 yrs (with good behavior) and be back out on the street. Though he will have to register as a sex offender. Just the way it is.

Have to wait and see if he is convicted of just possession, or possession and distribution, and how many counts.

It’s been my experience that people, especially those in public office, tend to shun convicted child pornographers. Any political support would come from Tennessee politicians.

YMMV

105 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:39:45pm

re: #94 BeenHereAwhile

My guess is that the comb blanks were individually sliced from a block of material, then clamped back together; then teeth were carved with thread or wire and fine abrasive.

If that was your task, slave or no, you did it or else; as life was cheap back in the day.

Life still is considered cheap among a certain class who don’t want to pay a living wage to anyone except those who kiss their asses.

Imagine a life without a decent place to live, enough food to eat (and mostly the wrong kind), no health or dental care, no means of getting a decent education. Imagine being a parent who continually tries but cannot provide what a “middle class” family takes for granted. There are plenty of “throwaway kids” in this society alone whose parents love and protect them the best they can—but it is never enough. And when the parents don’t have a chance, the children seldom will, either.

106 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:40:07pm

re: #102 Eclectic Cyborg

Well I guess he doesn’t want to be President.

If the exchange had the best policy for his family, then it’d be worth the wingnut rage. A good education is expensive, even for a senator, and Sen. Rubio has 4 children. He likely isn’t going to incur major costs just to please the wingnuts.

107 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:40:44pm

BBL

108 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:41:59pm

re: #105 Justanotherhuman

Life still is considered cheap among a certain class who don’t want to pay a living wage to anyone except those who kiss their asses.

Imagine a life without a decent place to live, enough food to eat (and mostly the wrong kind), no health or dental care, no means of getting a decent education. Imagine being a parent who continually tries but cannot provide what a “middle class” family takes for granted. There are plenty of “throwaway kids” in this society alone whose parents love and protect them the best they can—but it is never enough. And when the parents don’t have a chance, the children seldom will, either.

Think about the other side of that: A parent who works 50-65 hours a week at two jobs just to make sure his or her family are looked after. Sure, the bills may be paid and the family might even be able to afford a few luxuries, but there will also be a parent who will be virtually unable to play much of a role in their childrens lives on account of having to work so much.

109 bratwurst  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:42:20pm

Is this cool or what?

110 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:43:58pm

re: #102 Eclectic Cyborg

Well I guess he doesn’t want to be President.

I think it’s a big deal with Teabaggers that Congress abide by the rules they make the rest of us live under, even if they Teabagger doesn’t like the law. This is why one of the popular outrage emails incorrectly claims that Members of Congress don’t pay into Social Security.

111 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:45:28pm

re: #109 bratwurst

Huh. From one #43 to another.

112 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:45:34pm

re: #108 Eclectic Cyborg

Think about the other side of that: A parent who works 50-65 hours a week at two jobs just to make sure his or her family are looked after. Sure, the bills may be paid and the family might even be able to afford a few luxuries, but there will also be a parent who will be virtually unable to play much of a role in their childrens lives on account of having to work so much.

Then you get to blame them for being bad parents when their children get in trouble or don’t grow up to be Republican. It’s a twofer!

113 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:46:50pm

re: #101 moderatelyradicalliberal

Look who just signed up for some Obamacare

huffingtonpost.com

i don’t understand how these guys are even able to do that, since when i went to the california state ACA website, it wouldn’t even let me look at plans since i 1) already have insurance through my job, and 2) make too much money

114 sagehen  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:52:35pm

re: #113 dog philosopher

i don’t understand how these guys are even able to do that, since when i went to the california state ACA website, it wouldn’t even let me look at plans since i 1) already have insurance through my job, and 2) make too much money

Grassley insisted on an amendment to the ACA that members of congress (and their staffs) would no longer get federal employee group insurance, they had to go to the individual market and buy like anybody else who doesn’t get it from their job.

He thought D’s would reject his amendment, he’d embarrass them with “see, they don’t want it for themselves what they say is good enough for their constituents!!”… but the D’s shrugged and passed it.

Some members of Congress are buying from the federal site (listing themselves as DC residents) and collect an employer contribution, others are buying from their home state (where they don’t get an employer contribution, so their costs are going up).

Some of the staff qualify for subsidies, but Congressmen and Senators earn way more than the cutoff.

115 b_sharp  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:54:18pm

BBLIHTGGSTEMSICTTAC

116 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:55:48pm

re: #113 dog philosopher

i don’t understand how these guys are even able to do that, since when i went to the california state ACA website, it wouldn’t even let me look at plans since i 1) already have insurance through my job, and 2) make too much money

Part of the website fix was to change the sequence. Now anyone can look at plans and get a fair estimate of subsidies w/o establishing an online identity.

117 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:56:47pm

re: #116 Decatur Deb

Part of the website fix was to change the sequence. Now anyone can look at plans and get a fair estimate of subsidies w/o establishing an online identity.

Yep, I did that the other night for my wife.

118 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 4:57:27pm

WTFITS
What kind of idiot would actually wear this T-Shirt?
Never mind, I think we know.

119 AlexRogan  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:00:36pm

re: #70 Justanotherhuman

Rounding ‘em up.

White supremacist charged with threatening judge, State Attorney, FBI agent

William White of Roanoke, Va., is accused of threatening key figures in the prosecution against American Front members.

orlandosentinel.com

“William A. White, a 36-year-old white supremacist from Roanoke, is accused of threatening former State Attorney Lawson Lamar, Circuit Judge Walter G. Komanski and an FBI task force agent.

“More than a dozen suspected members of the American Front were arrested last year and accused of conducting paramilitary training in Osceola County to prepare for what they believed would be a race war.

“After their arrests, death threats emerged on several websites, and prosecutors say White demanded authorities release the 14 people facing state charges.”

Gee, it sounds a lot like tactics used by other terrorist groups around the world to me.

Let the bastards rot in prison, after a fair and speedy trial, of course

120 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:01:57pm

Maybe I should throw that frozen salmon away.

They’re Going to Dump the Fukushima Radiation Into the Ocean. All of It, Into the Ocean.

Read more at thefreethoughtproject.com

Fukushima is not going away any time soon, it will never be cleaned up properly, and we will suffer its effects world wide for decades to come.

121 AlexRogan  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:02:43pm

re: #71 Decatur Deb

If you ever get to the Shrine of the Book in Jerusalem, there is an ivory comb for grooming out nits. It’s part of the materials recovered from the 1st Cent BCE Essene settlement at Qumran. While is is meticulously handmade of ivory, not plastic, it is exactly like a 20th Cent comb. Never seen such technological stability.

Image: combs.jpg

If the design isn’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

122 Varek Raith  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:04:17pm

re: #121 AlexRogan

If the design isn’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

That one is clearly broke.
:P

123 Decatur Deb  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:07:25pm

re: #121 AlexRogan

If the design isn’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

Ever work for the DoD?

124 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:09:20pm

re: #121 AlexRogan

If the design isn’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

“but marketing says we are scheduled for a new release next spring, so tell me - how are you going to change the product so that we can justify calling it a new release and charge for upgrading?”

yes, i have been asked this question

125 AlexRogan  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:09:36pm

re: #120 Justanotherhuman

Maybe I should throw that frozen salmon away.

They’re Going to Dump the Fukushima Radiation Into the Ocean. All of It, Into the Ocean.

Read more at thefreethoughtproject.com

Fukushima is not going away any time soon, it will never be cleaned up properly, and we will suffer its effects world wide for decades to come.

Look on the bright side…the Japanese have figured out how to give us Godzilla, for reals.

///

126 Charles Johnson  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:10:36pm

re: #4 Dr. Matt

Here’s a question to Charles and/or any other computer savvy types. Is it possible to retrieve the code to embed Tweets using an iPhone or iPad? I have Safari on both devices, but it doesn’t give me the ability to get the embed information. TIA

Well, if you use the Twitter app for iPhone or iPad, you just tap and hold on the tweet, and choose “Copy Link to Tweet” from the popup menu. Then you can just paste that URL into an LGF comment.

127 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:11:19pm

WHOA

128 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:11:32pm

re: #115 b_sharp

BBLIHTGGSTEMSICTTAC

be back later I have to get going to eat my supper in case the tigers are coming?

129 b_sharp  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:15:30pm

re: #128 wrenchwench

be back later I have to get going to eat my supper in case the tigers are coming?

How did you know that?

130 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:16:46pm

re: #129 b_sharp

How did you know that?

Just a guess.

131 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:17:13pm

re: #129 b_sharp

How did you know that?

you mean there are people who don’t???

RBS

132 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:17:20pm

re: #125 AlexRogan

Look on the bright side…the Japanese have figured out how to give us Godzilla, for reals.

///

Hey, I was brought up on The Bomb and ducking under desks. This is bringing flashbacks of a sort.

133 Varek Raith  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:20:12pm

re: #120 Justanotherhuman

Maybe I should throw that frozen salmon away.

They’re Going to Dump the Fukushima Radiation Into the Ocean. All of It, Into the Ocean.

Read more at thefreethoughtproject.com

Fukushima is not going away any time soon, it will never be cleaned up properly, and we will suffer its effects world wide for decades to come.

Woot, kaiju.

134 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:20:43pm

re: #132 Justanotherhuman

Hey, I was brought up on The Bomb and ducking under desks. This is bringing flashbacks of a sort.

I remember “Duck and Cover”. I guess those old school desks were made of some kind of funky Adamantium that just looked like plywood.

RBS

135 compound_Idaho  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:20:56pm

re: #120 Justanotherhuman

Maybe I should throw that frozen salmon away.

They’re Going to Dump the Fukushima Radiation Into the Ocean. All of It, Into the Ocean.

Read more at thefreethoughtproject.com

Fukushima is not going away any time soon, it will never be cleaned up properly, and we will suffer its effects world wide for decades to come.

Not true. Energy Solutions , a US company has been processing the most contaminated water for several years now. There is discussion of releasing water contaminated at low levels.

They have big problems, very big problems, but they are not dumping all of the contaminated water into the Pacific.

136 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:22:04pm

re: #120 Justanotherhuman

You should keep it for those times when the light in the fridge doesn’t work…

137 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:23:16pm

re: #134 RealityBasedSteve

I remember “Duck and Cover”. I guess those old school desks were made of some kind of funky Adamantium that just looked like plywood.

RBS

or of the rarest unobtanium

138 William Barnett-Lewis  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:25:40pm

re: #127 Lord of the Pies

WHOA

[Embedded content]

Thank you for posting this tweet, VB. That was important for me to read.

139 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:28:16pm

re: #135 compound_Idaho

Not true. Energy Solutions , a US company has been processing the most contaminated water for several years now. There is discussion of releasing water contaminated at low levels.

They have big problems, very big problems, but they are not dumping all of the contaminated water into the Pacific.

Well, the kind of cavalier attitude in this story isn’t very encouraging.

TEPCO clean-up boss says Fukushima’s radioactive water will be dumped into Pacific Ocean

abc.net.au

The Fukushima site, being in an earthquake zone, isn’t reassuring, either.

140 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:29:29pm

re: #131 RealityBasedSteve

you mean there are people who don’t???

RBS

I just figured it* sat on its keyboard.

*Since we apparently have a woman named Stanley and a man named Deb, gender assumptions don’t seem reliable.

141 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:30:41pm
142 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:33:17pm

re: #118 Lord of the Pies

I guess when he says makers and takers, he’s talking about people who do the actual work getting robbed by the people making money off them from hedge funds and stock options.

Right?

143 b_sharp  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:34:51pm

re: #140 GeneJockey

I just figured it* sat on its keyboard.

*Since we apparently have a woman named Stanley and a man named Deb, gender assumptions don’t seem reliable.

We do?

144 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:35:41pm

See? There is no global warming. ///


It’s too damned cold in ND.

145 b_sharp  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:35:46pm

re: #140 GeneJockey

I just figured it* sat on its keyboard.

*Since we apparently have a woman named Stanley and a man named Deb, gender assumptions don’t seem reliable.

I sometimes let my cat take over making comments.

146 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:37:30pm

re: #141 Backwoods_Sleuth

Something for Floral:

Photographer Shares Breakfast with Giraffes in Kenya

That’s neat. And some GREAT photos. I remember something I saw on giraffes, (may have had David Attenborough ), seems to me the way the males fight during mating season is they swing their heads and hit the other. Image the kind of impact that’s got to have.

UPDATE>>> Fighting Giraffe Video.
Youtube Video

RBS
Who would so buy one of those little mini-giraffe like in the commercial about the stuff.

147 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:37:53pm

O/T

Don’t know if any of you looked at this, but I have good news, everybody!

Wil Wheaton boosted the signal today, granting a big spike in donations!

Right now, with

148 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:44:51pm

re: #142 Kragar

I guess when he says makers and takers, he’s talking about people who do the actual work getting robbed by the people making money off them from hedge funds and stock options.

Right?

People doing the actual work in the stores, and manufacturing the goods, having the fruits of their labors stolen by the parasitical, non-working, taking Waltons.

149 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:45:42pm

Haha of course he doesn’t mean that! In his make-believe world, TEH WALTONS IS TEH JRRB CREATERS BECAUSE THEY CREYATES TEH JRRBS!!!!!1111

150 Lord of the Pies  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:46:52pm

Hey dumbass, North Africa is not the “Middle East”
HURR HURR STUPID DEMOCRAT!!!!1111

151 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:47:59pm

This poor woman thought she was a US citizen. Then her brother, who is in the military, applied for a visa, and his background investigation showed that his sister was born in Mexico.

Can you imagine working for the Arizona Department of Public Safety for 10 years, and then finding out you’re an ‘illegal alien’? At least she wasn’t working for Arpaio.

152 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:50:52pm

Gotcha!

‘Revenge porn’ site owner arrested in San Diego

A 27-year-old man has been arrested in connection with the running of a “revenge porn” website.

bbc.co.uk

“Kevin Bollaert is accused of being behind UGotPosted, a site that published intimate photographs of people against their wishes.

“It would link to relevant social networks of the subjects pictured.

“Prosecutors said the website also sought to extort money from the people featured on the site by charging a fee to have pictures taken down.”

153 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:53:01pm

re: #151 wrenchwench

This poor woman thought she was a US citizen. Then her brother, who is in the military, applied for a visa, and his background investigation showed that his sister was born in Mexico.

Can you imagine working for the Arizona Department of Public Safety for 10 years, and then finding out you’re an ‘illegal alien’? At least she wasn’t working for Arpaio.

The comments there are horrible.

154 Belafon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:53:56pm

re: #151 wrenchwench

I love (spit) the way the page reads (paraphrasing): “Did the illegal alien lie about her birth certificate? Was she lying to everyone? Not this investigative news team. We’ll keep you infromed.”

155 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:54:44pm

re: #153 Backwoods_Sleuth

The comments there are horrible.

I didn’t look, for two reasons:

—Internet

—Arizona

156 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:55:42pm

re: #154 Belafon

I love (spit) the way the page reads (paraphrasing): “Did the illegal alien lie about her birth certificate? Was she lying to everyone? Not this investigative news team. We’ll keep you infromed.”

It sounded just as bad as read on the air.

157 Justanotherhuman  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 5:57:56pm

re: #151 wrenchwench

This poor woman thought she was a US citizen. Then her brother, who is in the military, applied for a visa, and his background investigation showed that his sister was born in Mexico.

Can you imagine working for the Arizona Department of Public Safety for 10 years, and then finding out you’re an ‘illegal alien’? At least she wasn’t working for Arpaio.

And yet, these people can stay in the country…

Valley couple calls 911 after they don’t get hash brown order at McDonald’s

Read more: abc15.com

Real brain trusts.

158 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:05:01pm

re: #138 William Barnett-Lewis

Thank you for posting this tweet, VB. That was important for me to read.

Agreed.

This is a good Pope.

159 Backwoods_Sleuth  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:07:25pm

Finally got the woodstove to behave, so I’m off for a nap until its regularly scheduled middle-of-the-night feeding.

Later, lizards!

160 wrenchwench  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:11:27pm
161 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:17:25pm

re: #147 chadu

O/T

Don’t know if any of you looked at this, but I have good news, everybody!

Wil Wheaton boosted the signal today, granting a big spike in donations!

Right now, with

Less than $50 to go before $12K!

162 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:17:53pm

Well, I got some good news and some bad news today.

A friend found the movie actor that I look almost exactly like. :)

The bad news is that actor is Sid Haig

Sadly, it’s true. About the only real difference is that he’s about 50 pounds heavier than I am.

RBS

163 Belafon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:21:08pm

re: #162 RealityBasedSteve

Most people ask me if I know that I look like Jack Black.

164 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:24:07pm
165 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:26:50pm
166 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:28:50pm

re: #163 Belafon

Most people ask me if I know that I look like Jack Black.

All fat, bearded geeks look like Jack Black or Kevin Smith.

(Guilty myself.)

167 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:30:32pm

re: #165 Gus

[Embedded content]

I just want to put Todd, Blitzer, and Scarborough into a raft and send them on a three-hour tour.

Whole staff of Politico, too.

168 freetoken  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:36:57pm

re: #150 Lord of the Pies

Geography - how does it work?

169 freetoken  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:38:27pm

re: #120 Justanotherhuman

The Pacific is really big.

170 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:41:13pm

Poor Todd. People are cc’ing him with this now.

171 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:41:40pm

re: #169 freetoken

The Pacific is really big.

The solution to pollution is dilution.

Or delusion. That works too.
///

172 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:42:56pm

re: #168 freetoken

Geography - how does it work?

They got MOOOZLIMS there, so it MUST BE the Middle East!!!!11!!1!

173 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:43:50pm

re: #167 chadu

I just want to put Todd, Blitzer, and Scarborough into a raft and send them on a three-hour tour.


…a three hour tooour!

174 freetoken  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:44:09pm

Meanwhile, more news from the deepest south:

East Antarctica is sliding sideways

[…]

Now that West Antarctica is losing weight—that is, billions of tons of ice per year—its softer mantle rock is being nudged westward by the harder mantle beneath East Antarctica.

The discovery comes from researchers led by The Ohio State University, who have recorded GPS measurements that show West Antarctic bedrock is being pushed sideways at rates up to about twelve millimeters—about half an inch—per year. This movement is important for understanding current ice loss on the continent, and predicting future ice loss.

They reported the results on Thursday, Dec. 12 at the American Geophysical Union meeting in San Francisco.

Half an inch doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s actually quite dramatic compared to other areas of the planet, explained Terry Wilson, professor of earth sciences at Ohio State. Wilson leads POLENET, an international collaboration that has planted GPS and seismic sensors all over the West Antarctic Ice Sheet.

She and her team weren’t surprised to detect the horizontal motion. After all, they’ve been using GPS to observe vertical motion on the continent since the 1990’s.

They were surprised, she said, to find the bedrock moving towards regions of greatest ice loss.

“From computer models, we knew that the bedrock should rebound as the weight of ice on top of it goes away,” Wilson said. “But the rock should spread out from the site where the ice used to be. Instead, we see movement toward places where there was the most ice loss.”


[…]

175 freetoken  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:51:32pm

America is so twisting itself into moral gordian knots - where will we go next?

Boy suspended for kissing: Girl’s mother praises punishment for ‘harassment’

The mother of a girl involved in the case of a 6-year-old Colorado boy suspended for giving a classmate unwanted kisses says the school did the right thing.

The girl’s mother, Jade Masters-Ownbey, told the Canon City Daily Record on Wednesday that the school district did a “great job” protecting her daughter from repeated harassment from the boy.

First-grader Hunter Yelton was given a two-day suspension, with a sexual harassment infraction on his discipline record.

The boy’s mother, Jennifer Saunders, insists the punishment was too harsh.

“He is 6 years old, and that is absolutely ridiculous for him to have ‘sexual harassment’ on his record, even it is (only on the district’s) record,” she said.

[…]

Is a 6 year old really capable of “sexual harassment”??

Really?

176 freetoken  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:53:54pm

I see that Politico is promoting another Rich Lowry piece.

Politico exists (their own admission) to stir up problems, which is why they so readily embrace the editor of National Racists.

177 GeneJockey  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:53:57pm

SON OF A BITCH!!

There was an auction for a watch I really wanted to add to my collection. I set up a snipe, and waited. It was supposed to end tomorrow. I was pretty hopeful because there were no bidders at $9.99, and that means no bidding war, so I thought my snipe price might be way over.

Tonight I look and the seller has closed the listing, and relisted it as a Buy It Now for $150!!! I’ll try a “Best Offer” of $40…

Still, if you get no bidders at $9.99, asking $150 seems a tad optimistic.

/rant.

178 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 6:59:28pm

Get a load of this:

16 year old son of a local business owner drives drunk (.24 BAC), crashes. Kills four people, severely injures nine others.

His lawyer, who apparently has bigger balls than Saul Goodman, argues that the kid was warped by being raised in a life of moneyed privilege which shielded him from understanding that his actions have consequences, and as such shouldn’t have to face the full force of the law.

The judge AGREES, and sentences him to probation, thus proving his parents were right. “He wouldn’t receive the necessary therapy in jail.”

wfaa.com

179 Dancing along the light of day  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:01:48pm

re: #177 GeneJockey

MEH, Christmas can also be the season of greed!
Wait & watch it not sell!

180 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:02:15pm

re: #177 GeneJockey

SON OF A BITCH!!

There was an auction for a watch I really wanted to add to my collection. I set up a snipe, and waited. It was supposed to end tomorrow. I was pretty hopeful because there were no bidders at $9.99, and that means no bidding war, so I thought my snipe price might be way over.

Tonight I look and the seller has closed the listing, and relisted it as a Buy It Now for $150!!! I’ll try a “Best Offer” of $40…

Still, if you get no bidders at $9.99, asking $150 seems a tad optimistic.

/rant.

You’re dead on with that. I would imagine that it would make an interesting study of the behavior of both buyers and sellers on Ebay. I know that you and I have ranted about stupid bidders that bid way early and just run the price up overall… I’m curious, has that seller had many auctions where he was the seller? If he was a first time seller or had low experence he might have been spooked with the low action early. We both know how something can start jumping in the last couple of minutes when the ‘pros’ make their moves. I’ve seen lenses go up a couple of hundred bucks in the last 60 seconds, I’m sure you’ve seen the same.

RBS

181 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:03:05pm

re: #176 freetoken

I see that Politico is promoting another Rich Lowry piece.

Politico exists (their own admission) to stir up problems, which is why they so readily embrace the editor of National Racists.

National Review guys do not care for your slick baby-killing lawyerly ways. Also the gays, feh.

NRO decided to shit the bed today.

Because ACLU SLUTS.

182 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:03:31pm

What could Jeremy Scahill be? Or should I stop?

183 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:03:58pm

re: #181 The Ghost of a Flea

National Review guys do not care for your slick baby-killing lawyerly ways. Also the gays, feh.

NRO decided to shit the bed today.

Because ACLU SLUTS.

Who have so much sex that they need lots and lots of birth control pills. /rush

RBS

184 Dancing along the light of day  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:04:03pm

re: #180 RealityBasedSteve

And ( apologies to Charles if this is out of line!) but a little or a lot of experience teaches you to snipe & not get in a bidding war!

185 bubba zanetti  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:04:47pm

re: #177 GeneJockey

Speaking of eBay hijinx, two weeks ago I put a $25 offer on a $29.99 item (an off-the-shelf part). My offer was declined, so I was about to just pay the asking price when I noticed the seller had jacked it up to $39.99. I wonder if that’s a kind of bait and switch strategy or some kind of weird software algorithm that’s doing the listings. The price dropped down to $34.99 after about a week too.

186 Dancing along the light of day  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:04:50pm

re: #181 The Ghost of a Flea

National Review guys do not care for your slick baby-killing lawyerly ways. Also the gays, feh.

NRO decided to shit the bed today.

Because ACLU SLUTS.

And have access to medicare paid for viagra.

187 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:05:56pm
188 bratwurst  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:07:50pm

re: #182 Gus

What could Jeremy Scahill be? Or should I stop?

You are going to disappoint David Sirota and Chris Hayes if you stop before you get to them!

189 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:08:53pm

re: #184 Dancing along the light of day

And ( apologies to Charles if this is out of line!) but a little or a lot of experience teaches you to snipe & not get in a bidding war!

Not sure why Charles would think it’s out of line. Funny thing is that I know a number of people who use ebay who really don’t have a clue how to maximize their chances of getting what they want for a fair price. (although good bargains are harder and harder to find it seems). They seem to think the strategy that works well in a RL auction works online.

RBS
Who views ebay as almost as entertaining as LGF

190 calochortus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:10:49pm

re: #180 RealityBasedSteve

I want to know why people list things on Craigslist or the equivalent thereof and then don’t respond to emails enquiring about the thing that was listed. Said thing remains listed or even gets relisted and still, no response. What’s the point?

191 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:12:17pm

re: #185 bubba zanetti

Speaking of eBay hijinx, two weeks ago I put a $25 offer on a $29.99 item (an off-the-shelf part). My offer was declined, so I was about to just pay the asking price when I noticed the seller had jacked it up to $39.99. I wonder if that’s a kind of bait and switch strategy or some kind of weird software algorithm that’s doing the listings. The price dropped down to $34.99 after about a week too.

I’ve seen cases where the same seller had the same items listed multiple times, but at different prices. I suspect that part of it may to to find the ‘sweet spot’ for pricing. I really like using the ‘sold items’ search to find what a real fair market value might be.

RBS

192 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:15:11pm

re: #190 calochortus

I want to know why people list things on Craigslist or the equivalent thereof and then don’t respond to emails enquiring about the thing that was listed. Said thing remains listed or even gets relisted and still, no response. What’s the point?

They are lonely? I’ve seen WAY too much stuff on craigslist that could be most charitably described as JUNK and priced like it was gold plated gold. Sometimes I have found a good deal on CL, simply because you do get people who may not know what it’s actually worth.

RBS

193 jamesfirecat  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:16:40pm

re: #178 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

Get a load of this:

16 year old son of a local business owner drives drunk (.24 BAC), crashes. Kills >four people, severely injures nine others.

His lawyer, who apparently has bigger balls than Saul Goodman, argues that the kid was warped by being raised in a life of moneyed privilege which shielded him from understanding that his actions have consequences, and as such shouldn’t have to face the full force of the law.

The judge AGREES, and sentences him to probation, thus proving his parents were right. “He wouldn’t receive the necessary therapy in jail.”

wfaa.com

So given that he’s been warped by never having to face the full consequences of his actions, the best thing to do… is make it so that he does not have to face the full consequences of his actions?

Yeah that sounds like a great plan!

Also that is only the first layer of stupidity /evil to this!

194 calochortus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:16:56pm

re: #192 RealityBasedSteve

They are lonely? I’ve seen WAY too much stuff on craigslist that could be most charitably described as JUNK and priced like it was gold plated gold. Sometimes I have found a good deal on CL, simply because you do get people who may not know what it’s actually worth.

RBS

If they were lonely, you’d think they’d respond. But, yeah, there’s a lot of “it’s old so it must be really valuable!” going on there.

195 dog philosopher  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:18:40pm

re: #192 RealityBasedSteve

They are lonely? I’ve seen WAY too much stuff on craigslist that could be most charitably described as JUNK and priced like it was gold plated gold. Sometimes I have found a good deal on CL, simply because you do get people who may not know what it’s actually worth.

RBS

another reason to bring out my great new product, chocolate covered chocolate!

also now available with bacon!

196 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:21:51pm

re: #178 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

Get a load of this:

16 year old son of a local business owner drives drunk (.24 BAC), crashes. Kills >four people, severely injures nine others.

His lawyer, who apparently has bigger balls than Saul Goodman, argues that the kid was warped by being raised in a life of moneyed privilege which shielded him from understanding that his actions have consequences, and as such shouldn’t have to face the full force of the law.

The judge AGREES, and sentences him to probation, thus proving his parents were right. “He wouldn’t receive the necessary therapy in jail.”

wfaa.com

That asshole’s therapy shouldn’t be an issue. You kill people like that and your life should be over. Felony conviction and prison time. Anything less is an insult to the victims.

197 Skip Intro  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:23:44pm

Forget it Jake, it’s Texas.

This is what you can get away with there if you’re white and rich.

He said Couch got whatever he wanted. As an example, Miller said Couch’s parents gave no punishment after police ticketed the then-15-year-old when he was found in a parked pickup with a passed out, undressed, 14-year-old girl.

Miller also pointed out that Couch was allowed to drive at age 13. He said the teen was emotionally flat and needed years of therapy.

At the time of the fatal wreck, Couch had a blood alcohol content of 0.24, said Tarrant County Sheriff Dee Anderson, four times the legal limit for an adult.

198 RealityBasedSteve  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:40:08pm

Night Lizards. Here’s a pic I took on a solo bicycle tour around central Kentucky a couple of years ago. Marrowbone Garage

RBS

199 teleskiguy  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:42:13pm
200 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:48:20pm

The Offense/Defense Spiral in action:

DroneShield: A way for hunters to fight back against animal activists’ drones (VIDEO)

The Drone Wars aren’t coming, they’re already here. See, as I pointed out in a recent Guns.com article, PETA and other animal rights groups are actively soliciting animal protectionists to purchase drones to spy on hunters.

SNIP

Consequently, there has to be a better way to defend against drones. One promising method is DroneShield, an open-source, community-based system that alerts one to nearby drones.

DroneShield is the brainchild of Brian Hearing, the co-founder of the company. I had a chance to ask him about his product and how it works to detect drones.

S.H. Blannelberry: So, quite simply, how does DroneShield work?

Brian Hearing: DroneShield is a small device that listens for the distinctive sound of drones and then alerts you via email, text message, long-range radio, and/or a flashing light. The sound of drones is very different from other things like leaf blowers and lawn mowers, and is very difficult to hide or mask. We’ve had victims of drone surveillance say they first thought it sounded like a swarm of angry bees! But we can detect the drone well before you can hear it.

(Bolding in original.)

I’m OK with this idea in principal, but not really in practice. A sensor used to detect PETA’s drone could be used by the Zetas to detect drones used by the Border Patrol.

201 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:55:52pm
202 Political Atheist  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:55:52pm

re: #200 Dark_Falcon

Inevitable, including drones to take down drones. Or devices to jam them. Blind them.

203 jaunte  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 7:57:03pm

re: #200 Dark_Falcon

That sounds like a device that would make it harder to catch poachers like these:

“This was a large-scale illegal poaching operation with serious implications for the environment, economy and public health,” Brown said.

The suspects made one or two trips a month, transporting 2,000 to 3,000 pounds of product each trip to its markets.

“They placed orders that included one for 900 pounds of poached white-tailed deer and another for 500 pounds of illegal snook,” Brown said.

To date, the operation has identified 21 suspects. The criminal charges include 147 misdemeanor violations and 75 felony violations. Ten suspects were arrested and taken to local county jails today; the rest were issued notices to appear.

Undercover officers successfully infiltrated the illegal operations and were able to gather sufficient evidence of the crimes. The species involved include grouper, snapper, trout, redfish, snook, bass, bream, catfish, deer, turkey, ducks and alligator.

naweoa.org

204 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:03:17pm
205 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:03:44pm

re: #200 Dark_Falcon

The Offense/Defense Spiral in action:

DroneShield: A way for hunters to fight back against animal activists’ drones (VIDEO)

SNIP

(>Bolding in original.)

I’m OK with this idea in principal, but not really in practice. A sensor used to detect PETA’s drone could be used by the Zetas to detect drones used by the Border Patrol.

Doubly skeptical.

PETA just says insane shit that’s the meatspace equivalent of clickbait.

Similarly skeptical of the stated tech basis of the “DroneShield.” Sound would be engine noise, and I have a hard time with the idea that there’s only one type of drone, whose engine only operates within a certain range of tach such that it could be picked out as unique.

Also, let’s not kid ourselves about who’s looking to buy this, and it’s not hunters worried about animal rights orgs spying on them hunting. It’s a product for militia nuts, poachers, and guys growing drugs.

206 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:07:26pm

re: #203 jaunte

That sounds like a device that would make it harder to catch poachers like these:

naweoa.org

It would. Sensors aren’t people, and they do not care whose cause they serve. But as RWC pointed out, the development of this sort of countermeasure was inevitable. The good news is that it was developed by an American, so our military and law enforcement will be able to buy and evaluate it themselves.

207 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:08:18pm

re: #205 The Ghost of a Flea

Doubly skeptical.

PETA just says insane shit that’s the meatspace equivalent of clickbait.

Similarly skeptical of the stated tech basis of the “DroneShield.” Sound would be engine noise, and I have a hard time with the idea that there’s only one type of drone, whose engine only operates within a certain range of tach such that it could be picked out as unique.

Also, let’s not kid ourselves about who’s looking to buy this, and it’s not hunters worried about animal rights orgs spying on them hunting. It’s a product for militia nuts, poachers, and guys growing drugs.

Added: the third paragraph only applies if the product isn’t the equivalent of a magic rock that deters rhino attacks in the continental US.

208 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:17:40pm

re: #204 Gus

[Embedded content]

How about Ted Cruz as Wingnut of the Year and Bryan Fischer as Douchecanoe of the Decade?

209 Charles Johnson  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:18:56pm
210 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:21:08pm

Drumroll please…

211 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:21:25pm
212 BongCrodny  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:23:51pm

re: #211 Gus

[Embedded content]

You’re too kind.

213 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:25:04pm

re: #212 BongCrodny

You’re too kind.

I try. :D

214 Lidane  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:27:52pm
215 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:29:34pm

Oh Twisted Christmas, you are so awesome. Bob Rivers is a genius.

216 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:30:54pm
217 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:33:34pm
218 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:33:49pm

The good news is the electrician agreed I had diagnosed the problem successfully and was absolutely correct when I told him what he needed to bring.

The bad news is he didn’t give a damn, wasted my afternoon so he could check it himself, not bring the parts and have to come back Friday, which means until then, we have no heat in the apartment.

219 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:35:08pm

re: #216 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Ugh, that’s mind numbing.

Jesus was, at minimal, olive skinned and probably had reasonably dark hair. He certainly was fair skinned and blue eyed.

Also, I understand the historical St. Nicholas was white, but why can’t Santa Claus be any race? I don’t see any problem with a black Santa or hispanic Santa or Asian Santa. Santa should be a figure who is not limited to racial boundaries.

220 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:35:14pm
221 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:35:25pm

re: #217 Gus

[Embedded content]

I would soo buy that!

222 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:36:22pm

re: #219 Eclectic Cyborg

Ugh, that’s mind numbing.

Jesus was, at minimal, olive skinned and probably had reasonably dark hair. He certainly was fair skinned and blue eyed.

Also, I understand the historical St. Nicholas was white, but why can’t Santa Claus be any race? I don’t see any problem with a black Santa or hispanic Santa or Asian Santa. Santa should be a figure who is not limited to racial boundaries.

Japanese Santa is fucking awesome.

Image: fa_184_santa13_970.jpg

223 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:40:14pm

re: #222 Kragar

Japanese Santa is fucking awesome.

Image: fa_184_santa13_970.jpg

When you have to fight a dozen ninjas to make it down the chimney Christmas night, some decent head armor is necessary.

224 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:41:56pm

re: #222 Kragar

Japanese Santa is fucking awesome.

Image: fa_184_santa13_970.jpg

Samurai Santa!

225 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:42:00pm

Growing up, we used to head down into LA all the time and go to Little Tokyo. Their Santa had red and gold samurai armor with jingle bells and a Christmas Sashimono.

How can you beat that?

226 goddamnedfrank  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:42:32pm

re: #200 Dark_Falcon

The Offense/Defense Spiral in action:

DroneShield: A way for hunters to fight back against animal activists’ drones (VIDEO)

SNIP

(>Bolding in original.)

I’m OK with this idea in principal, but not really in practice. A sensor used to detect PETA’s drone could be used by the Zetas to detect drones used by the Border Patrol.

Detecting drones via acoustic handheld device just isn’t something to worry about. You might be able to pick up on a quad / octo-copter hovering at treetop height within a few hundred yards, those things are pretty noise and low flying. But there’s just no chance in hell of identifying a loitering Predator which has a service ceiling of 25K ft. I’d think based on the amount of background noise and attenuation you’d need a massively distributed array of microphones with greater geospatial accuracy than you can get with commercial GPS, powerful dedicated hardware processing ability, software based filters and phased beamforming.

Of course if you have all that then you can actually track the drone in 3D. Doable by the military and I’m certain it is being done by them, but way outside the capability of any asshole ostensibly selling portable detectors on the civilian market.

227 BongCrodny  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:43:20pm

re: #222 Kragar

Japanese Santa is fucking awesome.

Image: fa_184_santa13_970.jpg

Santa-san?

228 Political Atheist  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:43:30pm

re: #222 Kragar

Japanese Santa is fucking awesome.

Image: fa_184_santa13_970.jpg

You understate the beauty of it. ;-)

Japanese Samurai Santa With A Cat

229 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:44:48pm

re: #228 Political Atheist

You understate the beauty of it. ;-)

Japanese Samurai Santa With A Cat

Because who needs reindeer when you’ve got a cat?

230 Eclectic Cyborg  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:45:09pm
231 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:45:36pm

re: #227 BongCrodny

Santa-san?

-sama

Maybe even -dono.

232 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:46:47pm

re: #226 goddamnedfrank

Detecting drones via acoustic handheld device just isn’t something to worry about. You might be able to pick up on a quad / octo-copter hovering at treetop height within a few hundred yards, those things are pretty noise and low flying. But there’s just no chance in hell of identifying a loitering Predator which has a service ceiling of 25K ft. I’d think based on the amount of background noise and attenuation you’d need a massively distributed array of microphones with greater geospatial accuracy than you can get with commercial GPS, powerful dedicated hardware processing ability, software based filters and phased beamforming.

Of course if you have all that then you can actually track the drone in 3D. Doable by the military and I’m certain it is being done by them, but way outside the capability of any asshole ostensibly selling portable detectors on the civilian market.

You might not be able to pick up a Predator, but many military drones (such as the Raven) are smaller and fly lower to the ground, and this might be useful for detecting those.

Just trying to explain and figure out the angles. not trying to be hostile.

233 Charles Johnson  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:48:10pm
234 Political Atheist  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:50:52pm

re: #226 goddamnedfrank

Detecting drones via acoustic handheld device just isn’t something to worry about. You might be able to pick up on a quad / octo-copter hovering at treetop height within a few hundred yards, those things are pretty noise and low flying. But there’s just no chance in hell of identifying a loitering Predator which has a service ceiling of 25K ft. I’d think based on the amount of background noise and attenuation you’d need a massively distributed array of microphones with greater geospatial accuracy than you can get with commercial GPS, powerful dedicated hardware processing ability, software based filters and phased beamforming.

Of course if you have all that then you can actually track the drone in 3D. Doable by the military and I’m certain it is being done by them, but way outside the capability of any asshole ostensibly selling portable detectors on the civilian market.

No, but some very low tech responses are out there. Certain plastic sheeting really shields well, some not well at all. Low tech tricks will be discovered & proliferate. The game is afoot as they say.

235 Dark_Falcon  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 8:58:59pm

re: #233 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

No, cats are supposed to kill and eat mice.

236 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:00:30pm

Oh for crying out loud WTF is wrong with them. They put together a panel because of this?

237 Kragar  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:03:14pm

re: #235 Dark_Falcon

No, cats are supposed to kill and eat mice.

Image: 3.png

238 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:04:46pm

re: #236 Gus

Oh for crying out loud WTF is wrong with them. They put together a panel because of this?

As someone who grew up around Christmas celebrations in Trinidad, India, China, and Japan…with “Santas” drawn from the local population delighting the kids…I’m weirded out by the need to claim Santa as white.

239 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:05:26pm

re: #238 The Ghost of a Flea

As someone who grew up around Christmas celebrations in Trinidad, India, China, and Japan…with “Santas” drawn from the local population delighting the kids…I’m weirded out by the need to claim Santa as white.

Exactly.

240 bratwurst  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:05:57pm

re: #236 Gus

Oh for crying out loud WTF is wrong with them. They put together a panel because of this?

I can see some people are hazy on the whole North Pole/South Pole thing.

241 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:07:29pm

re: #236 Gus

Oh for crying out loud WTF is wrong with them. They put together a panel because of this?

Who are “they”, and what “panel” are you talking about?

242 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:08:39pm

re: #241 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

Who are “they”, and what “panel” are you talking about?

Video

243 jaunte  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:09:14pm

Penguin infiltrators from the south invade, in a new front in The War on Christmas!!!

244 Killgore Trout  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:10:41pm

re: #240 bratwurst

I can see some people are hazy on the whole North Pole/South Pole thing.

That’s not her only problem….

Correction, Dec. 10, 2013: This article originally misidentified penguins as mammals. They are birds.

lol

245 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:11:23pm

re: #242 Gus

*file could not be played*

I see it’s a Fox News Channel panel. I’ll stipulate that I dodged a bullet and am better off not knowing.

246 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:12:43pm

re: #243 jaunte

Penguin infiltrators from the south invade, in a new front in The War on Christmas!!!

You laugh, but The Penguin Jihad is not to be laughed at.

I mean, how do you convert to being a penguin?

247 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:13:34pm
248 Gus  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:14:25pm

re: #245 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

*file could not be played*

I see it’s a Fox News Channel panel. I’ll stipulate that I dodged a bullet and am better off not knowing.

Try this link.

249 Targetpractice  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:16:16pm

re: #243 jaunte

Penguin infiltrators from the south invade, in a new front in The War on Christmas!!!

“Just smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

250 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:23:45pm

Santa Claus should be executed publicly and dumped into the same mass grave with the Ray Conniff Singers and every “country” act who ever recorded a Christmas song. All the chirpy Christmas songs about sleigh rides, silver bells, a desire to LET IT SNOW, and megalomaniacal yearnings for hippopotamus ownership will be replaced by devotional anthems to Krampus the Yule Lord. These songs will be written and recorded by such artists as Candlemass, Sunn O))), and the 1987-ish version of King Diamond. These and other measures shall be undertaken until the War on Christmas has been definitively won.

251 Lidane  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:27:04pm

re: #238 The Ghost of a Flea

As someone who grew up around Christmas celebrations in Trinidad, India, China, and Japan…with “Santas” drawn from the local population delighting the kids…I’m weirded out by the need to claim Santa as white.

THIS.

Why does Santa need to be white? What does it matter? Who cares? He could be covered in blue and purple polka dots and drive a sled pulled by a bunch of rabid weasels that fart rainbows and it wouldn’t make a damned bit of difference. HE’S FICTIONAL.

252 The Ghost of a Flea  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 9:37:04pm

re: #250 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

Santa Claus should be executed publicly and dumped into the same mass grave with the Ray Conniff Singers and every “country” act who ever recorded a Christmas song. All the chirpy Christmas songs about sleigh rides, silver bells, a desire to LET IT SNOW, and megalomaniacal yearnings for hippopotamus ownership will be replaced by devotional anthems to Krampus the Yule Lord. These songs will be written and recorded by such artists as Candlemass, Sunn O))), and the 1987-ish version of King Diamond. These and other measures shall be undertaken until the War on Christmas has been definitively won.

Finntroll needs to be involved is this venture.

253 chadu  Wed, Dec 11, 2013 10:46:53pm

re: #251 Lidane

THIS.

Why does Santa need to be white? What does it matter? Who cares? He could be covered in blue and purple polka dots and drive a sled pulled by a bunch of rabid weasels that fart rainbows and it wouldn’t make a damned bit of difference. HE’S FICTIONAL.

NO HE ISN’T!!!

(But he’s not necessarily white. I mean, he’s vaguely white to me, because I’m white, but he’s vaguely X for people who are of skin coloration X, etc.).

I have a degree in Santa Studies.

(venkman) Back off, man, I’m a scientist. (/venkman)

254 Decatur Deb  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 2:41:45am

re: #238 The Ghost of a Flea

As someone who grew up around Christmas celebrations in Trinidad, India, China, and Japan…with “Santas” drawn from the local population delighting the kids…I’m weirded out by the need to claim Santa as white.

If a fat white guy in boots and a black belt comes to a black kid’s house across the tracks, it probably isn’t Santa.

255 RealityBasedSteve  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 5:17:31am

re: #233 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

ARGH!!!! That’s my kats attitudes

RBS

256 Lord of the Pies  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 6:10:00am

Zedushka gets mistaken for Santa all the time at this time of year so that means:

SANTA IS A HASIDIC RABBI.

257 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 6:11:44am

re: #255 RealityBasedSteve

ARGH!!!! That’s my kats attitudes

RBS

I was gonna say the same thing…that’s your cat.
;)


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