Megyn Kelly: Santa and Jesus are white

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Wingnuts • Views: 20,136

The stupidity here is of monumental proportions.

In a column for Slate earlier this week, Aisha Harris wrote that she had always been confused as a child because the Santa in her home had brown skin like her, but the Santa in malls and on television was always white.

So Harris made the case “that America abandon Santa-as-fat-old-white-man” and adopt a penguin in his place.

“For one thing, making Santa Claus an animal rather than an old white male could spare millions of nonwhite kids the insecurity and shame that I remember from childhood,” she wrote.

But on Wednesday, Kelly decided that Harris had gone “off the rails” with her column.

“For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white,” Kelly said. “But this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. But Santa is what he is.”

“Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change, you know?” she added. “I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa — I just want the kids watching to know that.”

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More: Fox News Host Megyn Kelly Tells Kids: Jesus and Santa Are Both White Guys

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231 comments
1 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:13:39am
2 Timothy Watson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:20:19am

Say what you will about Mel Gibson, but at least he cast someone, Jim Caviezel, who at least has a darker skin complexion than your average white guy to play Jesus in The Passion of the Christ. He also cast Monica Bellucci, an Italian actress, to play Mary Magdale, etc.

And perhaps Kelly should look at depictions of Saint Nicholas, a Greek saint from modern day Turkey, who, judging by Wikipedia, is depicted with a medium complex in Russian iconography.

3 Ace-o-aces  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:28:07am

This is made even more ridiculous by the fact that the article in Slate that set Kelly off proposed making Santa a penguin.
slate.com

Also, she said this:

“I mean, Jesus was a white man too. He was a historical figure, that’s a verifiable fact, as is Santa — I just want the kids watching to know that.”

Wait, does Kelly still think Santa is real? That would explain a lot.

4 Skip Intro  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:31:40am

re: #3 Ace-o-aces

This is made even more ridiculous by the fact that the article in Slate that set Kelly off proposed making Santa a penguin.
slate.com

Also, she said this:

Wait, does Kelly still think Santa is real? That would explain a lot.

If making your kids watch Fox News isn’t child abuse, then what is? Why not just take them to your local lobotomist and be done with it.

5 Joanne  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:32:54am

Aren’t all men in ancient Israel and Egypt white?
(tilting head, batting eyelashes, and looking very, very confused)

6 mechanic  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:40:33am

Polar Bears drinking Coca-Cola are real too!!

7 Skip Intro  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:41:41am

re: #5 Joanne

Aren’t all men in ancient Israel and Egypt white?
(tilting head, batting eyelashes, and looking very, very confused)

The way it works is this: Obviously God is white, and certainly would never have committed miscegenation, so of course Mary was white too. Therefore it’s obvious that their child would also have been white.

This is the foundation of Godly Christian genetics, as opposed to the heathen, Satan inspired kind taught in our schools.

8 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 9:52:47am

re: #7 Skip Intro

The way it works is this: Obviously God is white, and certainly would never have committed miscegenation, so of course Mary was white too. Therefore it’s obvious that their child would also have been white.

This is the foundation of Godly Christian genetics, as opposed to the heathen, Satan inspired kind taught in our schools.

I have this feeling in my gut that if you scratch this “Jesus is white” thing, you’re going to find some awful two-centuries-ago theology about race and the sons of Noah.

Not that the surface assertion is any better. “White is the default” emanates directly from privilege.

9 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:04:13am

Santa is a HASIDIC JEW.

Zedushka frequently gets mistaken for Santa this time of year. He was in Home Depot and some little kid said to him “Hey Santa! I want a fire truck! please.”

And he said, “HO HO HO are you being good?”

When I suggested that he should wear red suspenders he said DON’T PUSH IT.

10 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:05:25am

I bet if you told Megyn that Jesus was a little brown Jewish rabbi, her head would explode.

11 Varek Raith  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:05:26am

re: #9 Lord of the Pies

Santa is a HASIDIC JEW.

Zedushka frequently gets mistaken for Santa this time of year. He was in Home Depot and some little kid said to him “Hey Santa! I want a fire truck! please.”

And he said, “HO HO HO are you being good?”

When I suggested that he should wear red suspenders he said DON’T PUSH IT.

You should totally push it.
:D

12 William Barnett-Lewis  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:06:24am

re: #8 The Ghost of a Flea

I have this feeling in my gut that if you scratch this “Jesus is white” thing, you’re going to find some awful two-centuries-ago theology about race and the sons of Moses.

Not that the surface assertion is any better. “White is the default” emanates directly from privilege.

“about race and the sons of MosesNoah”.

FTFY. It’s a nasty little piece of evil designed to prop up the antebellum south and it’s slave based economy.

13 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:07:36am

I thought the Left were the ones that did the race card throwing/race baiting?

14 darthstar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:07:56am

If Jesus and Santa are white, then Boehner is opaque.

15 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:18am

Santa is the mythical 4th Wise Man who did not heed God’s word and failed to bring a present to Jesus, Sentenced to live forever until the second coming of Jesus, Santa attempts to atone for his sin by delivering gifts to all the children of the world on the eve of his failure, hoping someday, he will present reborn Jesus with a gift and break the curse.

The “elves” are the wicked children who attempted to catch Santa, learned the truth about him, and were taken to serve him until the End of Days.

16 ausador  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:22am

re: #8 The Ghost of a Flea

I have this feeling in my gut that if you scratch this “Jesus is white” thing, you’re going to find some awful two-centuries-ago theology about race and the sons of Moses.

Not that the surface assertion is any better. “White is the default” emanates directly from privilege.

Why look for one from two centuries ago when you can just go to the Creation Museum in Kentucky and see this? (Noah, not Moses)

Human Variation Explained?

Now obviously Jesus was not a Cro Magnon, Homo Erectus, Neanderthal, Negro, or Mongoloid. Therefore Jesus = Caucasian, it is just simple logic really…

///

17 William Barnett-Lewis  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:30am

re: #10 Targetpractice

I bet if you told Megyn that Jesus was a little brown Jewish rabbi, her head would explode.

I’d love to give her a copy of the Tanakh with the label “Jesus’ Bible” to go along with that image.

18 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:33am

Wait. So Jesus was albino?

19 Dr Lizardo  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:35am

re: #8 The Ghost of a Flea

I have this feeling in my gut that if you scratch this “Jesus is white” thing, you’re going to find some awful two-centuries-ago theology about race and the sons of Moses.

Not that the surface assertion is any better. “White is the default” emanates directly from privilege.

The idea of an “Aryan Jesus” dates from around the 19th Century; as I recall, the idea was advocated by Houston Stewart Chamberlain that Jesus was of Amorite-Germanic background.

20 lawhawk  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:08:46am

Megyn Kelly ought to take a trip over to Israel. To the Basilica of the Annunciation, which is notable because it was rebuilt to include mosaic art from around the world depicting religious iconography including that of Jesus and Mary.

And lo and behold, the visage of both depends greatly upon where in the world you’re talking about.

biblewalks.com

Clearly, Jesus isn’t just some white northern European visage. There’s a Korean visage. Thai. Chinese. Several African countries have a dark-skinned Jesus and/or Mary. There are Middle Eastern depictions, etc.

Kelly’s ignorant and playing to an ignorant mass.

21 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:09:13am

Skin color is a race?

22 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:09:52am

Pretty sure there weren’t any Germans or Finns in Bethlehem back then.

23 b.d.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:10:23am

JESUS LOOKED LIKE BRAD PITT!!1!!

24 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:10:48am

re: #11 Varek Raith

You should totally push it.
:D

Oh definitely. Hasidic Santa would be awesome.

LGF Red Suspender Fund to encourage the push? ;)

25 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:11:08am

re: #23 b.d.

JESUS LOOKED LIKE BRAD PITT!!1!!

No, no, no, no. Johnny Winter.

26 b.d.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:11:14am

re: #18 Gus

Wait. So Jesus was albino?

Dibs on Pink Eyed Jesus as a band name.

27 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:11:46am

re: #15 Kragar

Santa is the mythical 4th Wise Man who did not heed God’s word and failed to bring a present to Jesus, Sentenced to live forever until the second coming of Jesus, Santa attempts to atone for his sin by delivering gifts to all the children of the world on the eve of his failure, hoping someday, he will present reborn Jesus with a gift and break the curse.

The “elves” are the wicked children who attempted to catch Santa, learned the truth about him, and were taken to serve him until the End of Days.

That’s just creepy.

28 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:12:11am

re: #12 William Barnett-Lewis

“about race and the sons of MosesNoah”.

FTFY. It’s a nasty little piece of evil designed to prop up the antebellum south and it’s slave based economy.

OMG I am having such a bad day with names. Not just posting—phones calls, names on cheques.

Thanks for the correction.

29 William Barnett-Lewis  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:12:22am

re: #15 Kragar

Santa is the mythical 4th Wise Man who did not heed God’s word and failed to bring a present to Jesus, Sentenced to live forever until the second coming of Jesus, Santa attempts to atone for his sin by delivering gifts to all the children of the world on the eve of his failure, hoping someday, he will present reborn Jesus with a gift and break the curse.

The “elves” are the wicked children who attempted to catch Santa, learned the truth about him, and were taken to serve him until the End of Days.

If my son were younger, I’d snarf this whole cloth. As it is, he still believes (as he closes in on his 12th birthday in January :) but it’s mostly that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and mostly works through Mom & Dad.

Edit: in the spirit of Calvin’s dad in Calvin & Hobbes that is ; )

30 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:13:17am

re: #21 Gus

Skin color is a race?

White and Black are racial categories defined by a variety of alphabet soup agencies including the NIH, OMB, and Census Bureau.

31 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:13:32am

re: #11 Varek Raith

You should totally push it.
:D

He does not want to encourage little kids to approach him, because some people might think this is “pervy.” Sad that this is even a thought, but kids should not be taught that it is OK to approach strangers.

32 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:13:55am

re: #27 Lord of the Pies

That’s just creepy.

Thanks.

33 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:15:23am

re: #15 Kragar

The “elves” are the wicked children who attempted to catch Santa, learned the truth about him, and were taken to serve him until the End of Days.

But the Dutch Santa’s elves are black slaves who were kidnapped from Africa.

34 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:16:12am

Jesus was from South Carolina. Fact. //

35 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:17:15am

HURR HURR ALSO I DON’T WANT MY KIDS ASSOCIATING WITH KIDS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONZ!!!11111 AND TEH POORS!!!!

36 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:17:34am

re: #33 Lord of the Pies

But the Dutch Santa’s elves are black slaves who were kidnapped from Africa.

Apologism for Swarte Piet is kind of hard to swallow when the whole blackface/Moorish costume thing seems to have come about in the 1850s, when Dutch colonialism was booming.

37 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:18:18am

Kochtopus Infographic, also featuring Big Tobacco & The Waltons

38 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:19:09am

The number of comments this story is generating elsewhere:

Raw Story: 639
MMfA: 1112
Mediate: 344

Amusing.

39 FemNaziBitch  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:19:12am
Evidence from the United States and the United Kingdom, however, puts the number of false sexual assault reports between 2 and 8 percent of all reports.

Stereotypes also exist about what a sexual assault looks like. The “classic rape myth” goes something like this: A woman is attacked at gunpoint. She is physically forced to have sex against her will by an unknown assailant. She is left with physical bruises, which are evidence of the attack.

But this myth can perpetuate victim-blaming among law enforcement, particularly when the sexual assault is committed by someone the victim knows. Yet, in reality, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows.

also Paged

40 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:19:44am

Jesus built my hot rod.

41 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:19:48am

re: #35 Lord of the Pies

HURR HURR ALSO I DON’T WANT MY KIDS ASSOCIATING WITH KIDS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONZ!!!11111 AND TEH POORS!!!!

[Embedded content]

Because that it why you send you kids to school.

42 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:20:06am

re: #35 Lord of the Pies

HURR HURR ALSO I DON’T WANT MY KIDS ASSOCIATING WITH KIDS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONZ!!!11111 AND TEH POORS!!!!

[Embedded content]

It never fails to amaze, the lengths people will go to to rationalize the need to celebrate a pagan holiday that was subsequently co-opted by the early Church and has since been co-opted by the major corporations.

43 kirkspencer  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:20:44am

re: #35 Lord of the Pies

HURR HURR ALSO I DON’T WANT MY KIDS ASSOCIATING WITH KIDS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONZ!!!11111 AND TEH POORS!!!!

[Embedded content]

I keep wondering how he’d feel if the public schools were allowed to have religious programs and the music teacher decided to celebrate a holiday of her faith - Islamic, Hindu, whatever.

44 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:20:58am

re: #15 Kragar

Santa is the mythical 4th Wise Man who did not heed God’s word and failed to bring a present to Jesus, Sentenced to live forever until the second coming of Jesus, Santa attempts to atone for his sin by delivering gifts to all the children of the world on the eve of his failure, hoping someday, he will present reborn Jesus with a gift and break the curse.

The “elves” are the wicked children who attempted to catch Santa, learned the truth about him, and were taken to serve him until the End of Days.

Santa Claus is Bruce Banner to the Krampus’s Incredible Hulk. He will dwell at the North Pole until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

I lack every single skill required to make a parodic version of the 1970s TV show introduction…but it has to happen.

45 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:21:20am

One of the saddest things I saw when I was 10 was when we went to a Christmas party at a black church and one little girl said to another, ‘Let’s go sit on Santa’s lap!’ and the other one replied, ‘That’s not Santa. Santa is white.’

46 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:21:36am

re: #40 Gus

Jesus built my hot rod.

Great song.

47 FemNaziBitch  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:21:36am

I’m outta here for a while.

Have a great afternoon all!

48 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:21:50am

re: #37 Lord of the Pies

Web of Evil

49 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:22:50am

re: #40 Gus

Jesus built my hot rod.

But I bet he didn’t take the wheel.

/

50 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:23:03am

re: #36 The Ghost of a Flea

Apologism for Swarte Piet is kind of hard to swallow when the whole blackface/Moorish costume thing seems to have come about in the 1850s, when Dutch colonialism was booming.

Some apologists are saying HURR HURR HIS FACE IS BLACK BECAUSE HE GOES DOWN THE CHIMNEYS!!!!11
SO WHY ARE HIS CLOTHES ALL CLEAN???

51 Schadenboner  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:24:37am

re: #23 b.d.

JESUS LOOKED LIKE BRAD PITT!!1!!

Heresy, he looks like Willem Dafoe.

52 darthstar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:25:26am
53 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:26:30am

Lies! Everyone knows that Jesus looked exactly like Steve Buscemi.

54 b.d.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:27:40am

re: #51 Schadenboner

Heresy, he looks like Willem Dafoe.

Jesus was The Green Goblin?

Suprisingly, that explains a lot.

55 Skip Intro  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:28:02am

re: #15 Kragar

Santa is the mythical 4th Wise Man who did not heed God’s word and failed to bring a present to Jesus

You know what else Santa spells? SATAN!!!!!

56 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:28:14am

Djesus Unchained

57 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:28:17am

re: #50 Lord of the Pies

Some apologists are saying HURR HURR HIS FACE IS BLACK BECAUSE HE GOES DOWN THE CHIMNEYS!!!!11
SO WHY ARE HIS CLOTHES ALL CLEAN???

The bright red lips stand out to me as the tell of “this is obviously part of the blackface/the ‘blackamoor’ character.” Maybe there was a time in the past where the character was depicted differently, in keeping with St. Nicholas having bound a demon to aid him…but it’s clearly blackface these days.

58 Ming  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:29:28am

As silly as the “Jesus was white” meme is, there is the related question of eye color. I suppose that some people think that Jesus had blue eyes. I don’t recall seeing Jesus depicted with blue eyes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s sometimes represented that way.

Sorry to belabor this focus on race. But as many of us have already pointed out, it boggles the mind that some people don’t get that their bible stories were set in the Middle East, not in Sweden or Iceland.

59 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:32:38am

Megyn Kelly is dreaming of a white Christmas. Literally.

60 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:33:21am
61 darthstar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:33:30am

re: #59 Dr. Matt

Megyn Kelly is dreaming of a whites only Christmas. Literally.

Fixed.

62 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:34:04am

Nobody fucks with D’Jesus.

Youtube Video

63 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:34:08am

“Santa is what he is, just so ya know…”
— Megyn Kelly, Deep Thoughts

64 b.d.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:34:22am

re: #60 Gus

[Embedded content]

hahahahaha

65 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:34:53am

re: #61 darthstar

Fixed.

Nice.

Gracias.

66 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:36:51am

Who know who else is White?

67 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:37:16am
68 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:38:07am

re: #66 Dr. Matt

Who know who else is White?

Grinch is Green.

69 Skip Intro  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:38:08am

re: #63 jaunte

“Santa is what he is, just so ya know…”
— Megyn Kelly, Deep Thoughts

This explains how Sarah Palin can keep a job at Fox. Coherent thought is not required; just complete adherence to the party line is enough.

70 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:38:18am
71 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:39:56am

re: #68 Lord of the Pies

Grinch is Green.

Not in the original print: ebay.com

72 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:40:00am
73 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:40:40am

re: #72 geoffm33

Jesus Saves. Esposito Scores on the Rebound!

I prefer: “Jesus saves. He hates having to retype.”

74 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:41:38am

re: #69 Skip Intro

This explains how Sarah Palin can keep a job at Fox. Coherent thought is not required; just complete adherence to the party line is enough.

Beneath the goofiness of the story, Megyn Kelly probably knows what she’s defending.
Being the “Bringer of the Gifts” is a position of power and privilege, and her bosses aren’t going to let everyone share that, if they can do anything to hang on.

75 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:42:00am
76 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:42:23am

You know. There aren’t many guys named Jesus around these days that are white. Just a thought.

77 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:42:31am

re: #72 geoffm33

Jesus Saves. Esposito Scores on the Rebound!

Jesus saves, the rest of you take 4D6 damage.

78 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:42:49am

re: #71 Dr. Matt

Not in the original print: ebay.com

P.S. For the low, low bargain of $900.

79 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:43:59am

Jesus Oppenheimer. Nope.

80 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:44:29am

Jesus Quincy Wayne. Nope.

81 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:44:38am

When I was growing up I imagined God looked like Rope Man from the Mighty Hero’s.

Youtube Video

82 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:44:40am

Jesus and the Mary Chain.

83 Uncle Obdicut  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:45:07am

re: #76 Gus

You know. There aren’t many guys named Jesus around these days that are white. Just a thought.

It just means “Joshua”.

84 piratedan  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:45:55am

re: #82 Dr. Matt

Youtube Video

85 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:45:59am

re: #83 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

It just means “Joshua”.

Yeah. But you’d be hard pressed to find a guy named Joshua in old Bethlehem. :D

86 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:47:46am

re: #82 Dr. Matt

Jesus and the Mary Chain.

Jesus Jones

87 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:48:23am

They sang “Right Here Right Meow.” //

88 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:48:34am

re: #79 Gus

Jesus Oppenheimer. Nope.

Facebook: Jesus Oppenheimer

89 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:49:18am

“Wrong Jesus Rene Oppenheimer Morales? Try Again”

90 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:49:55am

re: #88 Charles Johnson

Facebook: Jesus Oppenheimer

My argument is invalid! //

91 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:50:41am
92 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:50:50am

OK, I do still have plenty of points of contention with the left wing, especially the far left, but the right wing is just simply fucking insane.

93 piratedan  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:51:09am

re: #90 Gus

yeah, but it’s pronounced Hay-zeus… ////

94 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:51:51am

Danish hellcat?

95 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:25am

re: #94 Gus

Danish hellcat?

Isn’t that some sort of fighter jet?
/

96 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:27am

Reading the Wikipedia Sinterklaas page (and also the St Nicolas page) it’s pretty obvious that the whole thing is a cultural moving target as writers through time make adaptations and variations. Arriving on a steamboat from Spain, etc. etc. etc.

97 RadicalModerate  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:33am

Please let there be either a Daily Show or Colbert Report segment on this tonight.

98 Shiplord Kirel  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:48am

When I was 4 or 5 I had the distinct idea that the Bible stories we heard in Sunday school were about events going on in heaven in the present day, sort of a weekly update on the celestial news and happenings. The cartoonish landscapes and ephemeral, too perfect, people in our books did nothing to dispel that impression.
On reflection, this was probably more rational, and more consistent with the available evidence, than what we hear from nutburgers like Kelly, let alone serious fundy quacks like David Barton.

99 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:49am

re: #92 Charles Johnson

OK, I do still have plenty of points of contention with the left wing, especially the far left, but the right wing is just simply fucking insane.

[Embedded content]

Andrea Peyser needs to be sent to Jelly School.

100 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:52:58am

re: #95 Backwoods_Sleuth

Isn’t that some sort of fighter jet?
/

Prop. Built by Grumman. //

101 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:53:20am

“It was the memorial equivalent of a bodice-ripper. Thorning-Schmidt placed her hands dangerously close to Obama’s side. The president’s cackling head moved inches from the Danish tart’s and yards away from his wife’s. Obama then proceeded to absorb body heat from the Dane, which he won’t be feeling at home for a long time.”

Journalism!

102 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:53:26am

re: #94 Gus

Danish hellcat?

Sounds like a pretty insulting way to refer to the Danish Prime Minister. Previously unheard of disrespect from the right wing for a political leader.
/

103 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:03am

re: #101 jaunte

“It was the memorial equivalent of a bodice-ripper. Thorning-Schmidt placed her hands dangerously close to Obama’s side. The president’s cackling head moved inches from the Danish tart’s and yards away from his wife’s. Obama then proceeded to absorb body heat from the Dane, which he won’t be feeling at home for a long time.”

Journalism!

WTFITS?

104 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:18am
105 GeneJockey  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:20am

re: #29 William Barnett-Lewis

If my son were younger, I’d snarf this whole cloth. As it is, he still believes (as he closes in on his 12th birthday in January :) but it’s mostly that Santa is the spirit of Christmas and mostly works through Mom & Dad.

The whole Santa belief ended abruptly for my son the year that I was really sick and Mrs. Jockey was really tired.

Usually, she’d put off wrapping presents till the boys went to bed on Christmas Eve, which I thought was nuts, but she insisted. That night, she was really tired. At 10:00 when the boys went to bed, she said, “I’ll set the alarm for 1:00. I’ll get a couple hours sleep, then do the presents.”

1:00 - “I’m still really tired. I’m gonna set it for 3:00.”

3:00 - “I’m gonna set it for 4:00”

4:00 - “I’m gonna set it for 5:00”

5:00 - “I’m gonna set it for 6:00”

6:00 - “I’m gonna set it for 7:00”

6:30 - I hear my son get out of bed, then his light footsteps receding down the hall, toward the living room.

Then I hear him stomping heavily all the way from the living room to the master bedroom - “WHAT THE HELL?!? What’s going on?!?”

THEN she got up and did the stockings and presents.

106 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:25am

re: #58 Ming

As silly as the “Jesus was white” meme is, there is the related question of eye color. I suppose many people who watch Fox News think of Jesus as having blue eyes.

Sorry to belabor this focus on race. But as many of us have already pointed out, it boggles the mind that some people don’t get that their bible stories were set in the Middle East, not in Sweden or Iceland.

“Jesus is white” is problematic in so many ways, and lies at the intersection of so much horrible shit both in history and in the rhetoric of the American Wingnut Christianity that is currently so prominent in politics, I think it pretty much has to be belabored. Joking aside:

- It’s saying visualizing Jesus as anything but white is untrue, and thus impious, which makes the Christianity of non-Whites questionable. This is especially horrid given the history of using a White Jesus to create a religious justification for slavery and other forms of race-based indenture/discrimination—with white people being the messengers of White Jesus, embodying him in their whiteness. It’s also ugly because it marginalizes some of the earliest Christians (like the Copts), and their black/brown images of Christ.

- It’s saying that Jesus was white, even as every other class of people in The Middle East and North Africa (the places where his lineage derive from aren’t viewed or treated as white, either historically or in present-day parlance. This is all the more uncomfortable given how aggressively that non-White identity has been assigned to Jews for most of Christian history.

- Actually it deserves its own bullet point: White Jesus is a denial of Jewish Jesus. Far, far too many times in history, Jesus has been pried from his Jewish context, while at the same time Jews have been coded as Other Than White. American Wingnut Christianity is just the most recent manifestation.

- If we view Jesus in the frame of symbol-value and mythos rather than dubious “factuality”…then to insist on his whiteness is to encode race onto what Jesus means….which takes us back to the first bullet point.

All of this is stuff that people here know or can reason out for themselves, but I’m compelled to spell it out, because the people doing this are not kidding around. Mock them, but realize that they are completely sincere in the cultural project of aligning God with their agenda, and aligning everyone they’re uncomfortable with as anti-God.

107 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:38am

re: #103 Lord of the Pies

WTFITS?

Something that will be written off as “satire” within 24 hours.

108 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:55:46am

re: #103 Lord of the Pies

Andrea Peyser’s stylings.

109 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:56:03am

OK. Jesus was white but his father was black. Carry on. :D

110 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:56:16am

re: #101 jaunte

“It was the memorial equivalent of a bodice-ripper. Thorning-Schmidt placed her hands dangerously close to Obama’s side. The president’s cackling head moved inches from the Danish tart’s and yards away from his wife’s. Obama then proceeded to absorb body heat from the Dane, which he won’t be feeling at home for a long time.”

Journalism!

Yards away, plural yard? Like 6 plus feet? How big were those fucking seats?

111 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:57:32am
112 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:57:52am

Jesus had blonde curly hair and blue eyes like that kid you always see playing with dinosaurs in creationist text books. //

113 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:58:56am

re: #112 Gus

You mean his mother could have been a Danish hellcat?

114 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:59:04am
115 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:59:34am

re: #114 Lidane

and Han Solo was actually Japanese. Right?

116 Mike Lamb  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:59:35am

If Jesus were white, I’m thinking the historical record would look just a wee bit different.

117 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 10:59:41am

re: #113 jaunte

You mean his mother could have been a Danish hellcat?

Hmm. Was Eve really a Danish hellcat? Inquiring minds want to know.

118 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:00:24am

Adam and Eve the Danish hellcat.

119 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:00:41am

I imagine Megyn will be ignoring her twitter account for the next 24 hours.

120 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:01:02am

Oh my…

121 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:01:09am

re: #118 Gus

Adam and Eve the Danish hellcats.

This thread is full of potential band names.

122 kirkspencer  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:01:20am

re: #92 Charles Johnson

OK, I do still have plenty of points of contention with the left wing, especially the far left, but the right wing is just simply fucking insane.

[Embedded content]

It’s Andrea Peyser. She’s been the gossip columnist for the Post since she wrote about the NY Mets sex scandals. (what, you don’t recall them either?) Every column since then has been a bodice-ripping interpretation of sexual impropriety by public figures - justified or otherwise. Usually but not exclusively her subjects are liberals and/or democrats - but a good sex scandal is a good sex scandal.

123 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:01:40am

re: #119 Dr. Matt

I imagine Megyn the intern who runs it for her will be ignoring her twitter account for the next 24 hours.

124 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:02:02am

re: #118 Gus

Adam and Eve the Danish hellcat.

Translated into Danish:
Image: Screen_shot_2013-12-12_at_1.01.31_PM.png

125 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:02:06am

re: #121 geoffm33

This thread is full of potential band names.

126 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:02:55am

re: #125 Gus

“Cackling Heads”

127 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:03:18am

re: #120 Kragar

Not only that, but Garrow claims that Reagan was going to nuke Mecca to get back at Iran.

You know, because nuking Saudi Arabia and inciting WW3 to irritate the Ayatollah totally makes sense.

128 RadicalModerate  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:03:39am

re: #92 Charles Johnson

OK, I do still have plenty of points of contention with the left wing, especially the far left, but the right wing is just simply fucking insane.

[Embedded content]

Take a look at Andrea Peyser’s (the author of that NY Post article) archives.
Just in the last month she has written articles lauding NY Subway gunman Bernard Goetz as a hero, a completely revisionist version of the murder of Matthew Shepard, as well as numerous race-baiting political articles.


nypost.com

129 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:03:50am

re: #126 jaunte

“Cackling Heads”

Los Gatos del Infierno!

130 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:04:42am

So, Obama wants to nuke America so he can secure his role as dictator of a destroyed and toxic nation? mmmm’kay.

131 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:05:10am

地獄の猫

132 lawhawk  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:05:17am

Band names? We need more band names:

Hey Zeus and the Hurley Burley
Tasty Danish Hey-Zeus
Exploding Heads

133 The Ghost of a Flea  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:05:28am

re: #122 kirkspencer

It’s Andrea Peyser. She’s been the gossip columnist for the Post since she wrote about the NY Mets sex scandals. (what, you don’t recall them either?) Every column since then has been a bodice-ripping interpretation of sexual impropriety by public figures - justified or otherwise. Usually but not exclusively her subjects are liberals and/or democrats - but a good sex scandal is a good sex scandal.

Andrea Peyser is world’s leading literary stylist when it comes to hate-fapping.

134 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:05:29am

re: #120 Kragar

Oh my…

[Embedded content]

“Secretly”? These twits do know that there are several layers of security between the president and the nukes, right? And I love how Garrow keeps perpetuating this story of two missing nukes whose whereabouts we shouldn’t worry about because the people who know where they are have since been forced into retirement and would have no reason to do anything with items that would be worth more than their weight in gold on the black market.

135 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:05:52am

re: #128 RadicalModerate

Take a look at Andrea Peyser’s (the author of that NY Post article) archives.
Just in the last month she has written articles lauding NY Subway murderer Bernard Goetz as a hero, a completely revisionist version of the murder of Matthew Shepard, as well as numerous race-baiting political articles.

nypost.com

Bernhard Goetz shot and wounded four unarmed Black teenagers, but did not murder anyone.

136 Decatur Deb  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:06:11am

re: #130 Dr. Matt

So, Obama wants to nuke America so he can secure his role as dictator of a destroyed and toxic nation? mmmm’kay.

Now you begin to understand the depth…

137 Dr. Matt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:06:12am

re: #132 lawhawk

Band names? We need more band names:

Hey Zeus and the Hurley Burley
Tasty Danish Hey-Zeus
Exploding Heads

‘Danish Hellcats’ is a great band name. The first album and title track is ‘Selfie’

138 Shiplord Kirel  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:06:46am

American Hellcat
British Hellcat
French Hellcat
Uruguayan Hellcat

Nope, no Danish Hellcat.
Did find a Danish Spitfire though, if that might count.

139 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:02am

Right about now the Vulcans are looking down on Earth and thinking to themselves, “too soon.”

140 Bubblehead II  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:29am

OT but good to see Boehner hammering the wingnuts.

From CNN

Boehner: Far right has lost credibility

141 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:40am

re: #130 Dr. Matt

So, Obama wants to nuke America so he can secure his role as dictator of a destroyed and toxic nation? mmmm’kay.

Nah, worse than that, Obama wanted to launch an EMP attack on the entirety of the US, which totally makes sense when you consider that what a tyrant wants is to rule over the world’s remaining hyperpower reduced to Dark Ages technology.

142 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:41am

re: #134 Targetpractice

“Secretly”? These twits do know that there are several layers of security between the president and the nukes, right? And I love how Garrow keeps perpetuating this story of two missing nukes whose whereabouts we shouldn’t worry about because the people who know where they are have since been forced into retirement and would have no reason to do anything with items that would be worth more than their weight in gold on the black market.

I like how they keep claiming a large nuke was detonated off the coast of South Carolina and literally no one in the entire world noticed except for them.

143 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:44am

re: #130 Dr. Matt

So, Obama wants to nuke America so he can secure his role as dictator of a destroyed and toxic nation? mmmm’kay.

And there’s your plot for Fallout 4.

144 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:07:56am

re: #132 lawhawk

That Andrea Peyser piece is a real trove of band names.

Hormone-Ravaged Frat Boyz

145 Ian G.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:08:09am

re: #100 Gus

Prop. Built by Grumman. //

Yeah, and by the time they went into production, Denmark had already been conquered by Nazi Germany. But Denmark does have some sweet fighting falcons.

146 Eclectic Cyborg  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:08:11am

re: #139 Gus

“too illogical.”

147 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:08:35am

re: #140 Bubblehead II

Until he goes on Rush Limbaugh’s show to use the Rob Ford excuse that he said it all in one of his drunken stupors.

148 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:09:02am

re: #126 jaunte

“Cackling Heads”

Reminds me of a few years ago when Sarah Palin called feminists “a cackle of rads”.

149 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:09:12am

re: #146 Eclectic Cyborg

“too illogical.”

Clearly not ready for Warp engine technology.

150 ausador  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:09:16am

re: #104 Charles Johnson

There is a guy who lives about a block from me that leaves his red Dodge pickup parked out next to road year round with a magnetic sign attached proclaiming “Baby Monkeys For Sale.”

:(

151 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:09:23am

re: #142 Kragar

I like how they keep claiming a large nuke was detonated off the coast of South Carolina and literally no one in the entire world noticed except for them.

Yeah, we can write off the huge seismic event and subsequent jump in radioactivity as nothing to worry about. Surely nobody’s got sensors or satellites capable of detecting a subsurface thermonuclear detonation and would accepted the excuse that it was just another underwater earthquake.

152 William Barnett-Lewis  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:10:04am

re: #132 lawhawk

Band names? We need more band names:

Hey Zeus and the Hurley Burley
Tasty Danish Hey-Zeus
Exploding Heads

“Hey Zeus” was an ok effort by X back in the day. Last of their original LP’s and no where near as good as their best. That said, it was probably one of the better records that year ;)

153 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:10:37am
154 Decatur Deb  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:12:01am

re: #151 Targetpractice

Yeah, we can write off the huge seismic event and subsequent jump in radioactivity as nothing to worry about. Surely nobody’s got sensors or satellites capable of detecting a subsurface thermonuclear detonation and would accepted the excuse that it was just another underwater earthquake.

They just thought it was the shore batteries firing on Sumter again, and went back to sleep.

155 Feline Fearless Leader  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:13:28am

re: #118 Gus

Adam and Eve the Danish hellcat.

Plural the hellcats and you got a great name for a male-fronted female band.

156 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:14:08am

re: #143 Eclectic Cyborg

And there’s your plot for Fallout 4.

Only if it all happens in Boston:

157 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:14:08am

re: #155 Feline Fearless Leader

Plural the hellcats and you got a great name for a male-fronted female band.

Adam and Eve and the Danish Hellcats

158 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:15:00am


Asked if he thinks the groups should “stand down,” Boehner said, “I don’t care what they do.”
159 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:15:05am

Waltons want everyone else to pay their share.
HURR HURR

160 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:15:22am

Volunteer fire chief resigns over offensive Facebook posts, denies the KKK is a racist group

A volunteer fire chief is stepping down after racist rants on Facebook were revealed. Chief Sean Sargent of the Owensburg Jackson Township volunteer fire department submitted his resignation Tuesday to the Jackson Township trustee, but he still believes his remarks were not offensive.

Sargent wrote in one post, “I’m just gonna come on out and say it! I’m a full blown racist, I dare a dirty [racial expletive] to try and knock me out, and oh yeah! Support your local klan!!!”

He sounds nice…

161 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:15:26am

re: #156 Lidane

Only if it all happens in Boston:

[Embedded content]

Who know what this means?

Androids!

162 RealityBasedSteve  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:15:40am

re: #62 Charles Johnson

Nobody fucks with D’Jesus.

[Embedded content]

I ALMOST started to play that… but I’m sitting in my classroom while students work on a lab. Probably wouldn’t have been prudent.

RBS

163 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:16:12am

re: #153 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Twitter is the right medium in which to follow the Saga of Greenwald. The pithy messages within strict character limitations provide the proper counterpoint to his wall o’ text epic nothingburgers.

164 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:16:20am

re: #157 Gus

Adam and Eve Steve and the Danish Hellcats

To truly make heads explode…

165 lawhawk  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:16:57am
166 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:17:23am

re: #156 Lidane

Only if it all happens in Boston:

[Embedded content]

At this point, until the teaser gets released, I’m skeptical of any “leak” about FO4. Been burned too many times.

167 jaunte  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:17:23am

re: #159 Lord of the Pies

All this talk about how the rich don’t pay their fair share is nonsense. They are carrying everyone. politicaloutcast.com

OMG, what if they get tired!!!!

168 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:17:33am

re: #135 Lord of the Pies

Bernhard Goetz shot and wounded four unarmed Black teenagers, but did not murder anyone.

Unarmed? That’s not correct. Screwdriver in hand, just as deadly as a knife. Jury came to the conclusion self defense.

169 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:18:07am

re: #168 Political Atheist

Unarmed? That’s not correct. Screwdriver in hand, just as deadly as a knife. Jury came to the conclusion self defense.

Lesson: Never bring a screwdriver to a gunfight…

170 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:18:08am

re: #62 Charles Johnson

Nobody fucks with D’Jesus.

[Embedded content]

I remember Bryan Fischer and Pam Geller and Erick b. Erick clutching their pearls over that, whining and moaning about how “tolerant” they were because Christians didn’t riot and break things “like Teh Muslims did after the Danish cartoons!”

171 Bubblehead II  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:18:09am

re: #147 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

Until he goes on Rush Limbaugh’s show to use the Rob Ford excuse that he said it all in one of his drunken stupors.

I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Hopefully Boehner has his craw full of the wingnuts shit and is going to continue to slap them down when they start getting out of line.

/Hey, a man can dream can’t he?

172 Schadenboner  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:18:42am

re: #156 Lidane

Only if it all happens in Boston:

[Embedded content]

The Institute. Fuck yeeeeaaaahhhhhh.

173 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:19:23am

re: #167 jaunte

OMG, what if they get tired!!!!

The Waltons are paying everyone’s share but not enough for anyone to live on.

174 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:19:25am

re: #151 Targetpractice

Yeah, we can write off the huge seismic event and subsequent jump in radioactivity as nothing to worry about. Surely nobody’s got sensors or satellites capable of detecting a subsurface thermonuclear detonation and would accepted the excuse that it was just another underwater earthquake.

I remember reading Democratic Underground during the 2004 tsunami. A small but vehement contingent there insisted that Bush had detonated a “mini-nuke” under water, thus causing the tsunami, which he did because mumble mumble hey look a squirrel!

I can’t find the link, but someone with relevant knowledge calculated and demonstrated mathematically that the amount of energy released in that earthquake was greater than the amount of energy that would be released if the entire world’s stockpile of nuclear weapons had been detonated. That particular conspiracy theory fizzled out after that.

175 ausador  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:19:52am

re: #167 jaunte

OMG, what if they get tired!!!!

What if they shrug?

176 Charles Johnson  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:19:59am

lol

177 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:20:16am

re: #169 Backwoods_Sleuth

Lesson: Never bring a screwdriver to a gunfight…

Geez some want to treat Goetz as a guy that went looking for trouble like Zimmerman. It’s just not so. Weapon, and at least the jury believed it was during an attempted mugging.

178 piratedan  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:21:11am

re: #176 Charles Johnson

yeah Glenn, enjoy riding the tiger you asshat.

179 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:21:14am

Poe’s Law Alert: this is not an actual real wingnut Tweet.

180 sagehen  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:21:31am

re: #142 Kragar

I like how they keep claiming a large nuke was detonated off the coast of South Carolina and literally no one in the entire world noticed except for them.

There was a made-for-TV movie where that happened…

(people did notice, but the news cycle moved on within a day or two and they stopped paying attention)

181 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:22:05am

BTW the previous Tweet was a liberal commenting ironically, not an actual wingnut.

Poe’s Law alert.

182 Schadenboner  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:22:13am

re: #174 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

I remember reading Democratic Underground during the 2004 tsunami. A small but vehement contingent there insisted that Bush had detonated a “mini-nuke” under water, thus causing the tsunami, which he did because mumble mumble hey look a squirrel!

I can’t find the link, but someone with relevant knowledge calculated demonstrated mathematically that the amount of energy released in that earthquake was greater than the amount of energy that would be released if the entire world’s stockpile of nuclear weapons had been detonated. That particular conspiracy theory fizzled out after that.

Fair enough, but in this example a lunatic theory is presented then disproven (WITH SCIENCE!) after which it more-or-less disappears. That hasn’t happened here and we all know that it won’t. Were that the RWNJ echo chamber was also a Faraday Cage from which no broadcast could eminate.

183 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:22:25am

re: #179 Lord of the Pies

[Embedded content]

Difference is that MLK has been alive in our lifetimes and the evidence of his existence is available to all. Can’t say the same for Jesus or St. Nick.

184 RealityBasedSteve  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:22:56am

re: #150 ausador

There is a guy who lives about a block from me that leaves his red Dodge pickup parked out next to road year round with a magnetic sign attached proclaiming “Baby Monkeys For Sale.”

:(

Does he actually have baby monkeys for sale, and does he accept PayPal?

RBS

185 Backwoods_Sleuth  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:23:16am
186 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:23:16am

re: #181 Lord of the Pies

BTW the previous Tweet was a liberal commenting ironically, not an actual wingnut.

Poe’s Law alert.

Awwwww……I was getting the popcorn ready.

187 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:23:59am

re: #177 Political Atheist

Geez some want to treat Goetz as a guy that went looking for trouble like Zimmerman. It’s just not so. Weapon, and at least the jury believed it was during an attempted mugging.

Another jury had a different opinion.

In 1996 a civil jury found the shooting unjustified and awarded Mr. Cabey $43 million.

188 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:24:17am

re: #169 Backwoods_Sleuth

Lesson: Never bring a screwdriver to a gunfight…

No worries where guns are banned. until… surprise. A legit use despite an illegal carry.

189 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:24:46am

re: #183 Targetpractice

Difference is that MLK has been alive in our lifetimes and the evidence of his existence is available to all. Can’t say the same for Jesus or St. Nick.

The difference between Jesus and Santa?

One is a figure with a heavily fictionalized background.

The other lives at the North Pole

190 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:25:22am

re: #187 wrenchwench

The civil court has a far lower burden of proof. Was that the guy with the weapon, or not? I have forgotten that detail.

191 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:26:33am

Marge: I have a responsibility to raise these children right and, unless you change, I’ll have to tell them their father is… well, wicked.

Homer: [to Lisa and Bart] Kids, let me tell you about another so-called wicked guy. He had long hair, and some wild ideas, and he didn’t always do what other people thought was right. And that man’s name was…

[thinks]

Homer: I forget. But the point is…

[thinks]

Homer: I forget that, too.

Homer: [to Marge] Marge, you know who I’m talking about! He used to drive that blue car.

192 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:26:43am

re: #190 Political Atheist

The civil court has a far lower burden of proof.

So? You’re justifying what Goetz did by citing a jury’s opinion, I’m disagreeing citing a different jury’s opinion.

193 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:27:01am
194 Kragar  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:27:17am
195 klys  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:28:53am

re: #168 Political Atheist

Unarmed? That’s not correct. Screwdriver in hand, just as deadly as a knife. Jury came to the conclusion self defense.

After the incident, rumors spread that Goetz had been threatened with sharpened screwdrivers. This rumor was published as fact by some newspapers including The New York Times; however, neither Goetz nor the men made any such claim. During his subsequent statement to the police, Goetz expressed a belief that none of the young men had been armed. Paramedics and police did find a total of three screwdrivers on two of the men; when Canty testified at Goetz’s criminal trial, he said they were to be used to break into video arcade change boxes and not as weapons.

Emphasis mine.

196 Uncle Obdicut  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:29:10am

Ah, Goetz. A nice callback to even more racist times.

Chances that a black guy shooting four white guys would have gotten off: about zero.

And he planned to shoot each of them, in his head, and then he did so. Without any direct threat or being attacked.

Set a kind of precedent for how we deal with white people shooting black people.

197 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:29:39am

re: #192 wrenchwench

The lower the burden of proof, the more likely a incorrect result. The money award does not mean the kids were unarmed, nor that this was not self defense. Being right in defense is no guarantee of avoiding civil liberty. I would argue it should be absent excessive force. What we don’t know is if those kids tried to take the gun or flee. Which would make all the diff under the law and IMO.

198 Schadenboner  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:29:51am

Corgi break

/Corgi break

199 Gus  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:30:58am

Come on man. The Bible was written in English! American English! //

200 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:31:03am

re: #196 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

Ah, Goetz. A nice callback to even more racist times.

Chances that a black guy shooting four white guys would have gotten off: about zero.

Colin Ferguson serving a 315-year sentence.

201 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:31:26am

re: #182 Schadenboner

I wasn’t trying to make a direct comparison, just posting non-sequiturs as usual. Aside from the mind-blowing stupidity of the 9/11 Truthers, and some Hitler-oriented agitprop by Iraq war protesters, I can’t really remember anything during the Bush years that comes close to the insanity of the opposition to the Obama administration.

202 geoffm33  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:31:41am

re: #199 Gus

Come one man. The Bible was written in English! American English! //

203 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:32:52am

Speaking of Fallout:

204 Ian G.  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:33:06am

re: #174 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce

I can’t find the link, but someone with relevant knowledge calculated and demonstrated mathematically that the amount of energy released in that earthquake was greater than the amount of energy that would be released if the entire world’s stockpile of nuclear weapons had been detonated. That particular conspiracy theory fizzled out after that.

Yeah, a lot of people (not necessarily just conspiracy theorists) fail to grasp just how fucking powerful some of the natural systems on earth are compared to our pipsqueak devices. The 1980 Mt. St. Helens eruption, for example, released about 500 times the energy released by the Hiroshima bomb.

205 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:34:11am

re: #197 Political Atheist

The lower the burden of proof, the more likely a incorrect result. The money award does not mean the kids were unarmed, nor that this was not self defense. Being right in defense is no guarantee of avoiding civil liberty. I would argue it should be absent excessive force. What we don’t know is if those kids tried to take the gun or flee. Which would make all the diff under the law and IMO.

‘Incorrect’ is in the eye of the beholder. I don’t think you can convince me that race was not the biggest factor in the ‘not guilty’ verdict of Goetz. The fact that you haven’t mentioned it yet is indicative.

206 Schadenboner  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:34:32am

re: #203 Lidane

Speaking of Fallout:

[Embedded content]

Happy birthday to me.

207 GeneJockey  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:34:42am

re: #138 Shiplord Kirel

American Hellcat
British Hellcat
French Hellcat
Uruguayan Hellcat

Nope, no Danish Hellcat.
Did find a Danish Spitfire though, if that might count.

My god! There’s nobody flying that plane!
////

208 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:36:18am

re: #198 Schadenboner

I present to you this timeless portrait of an exemplary member of the master race:

Image: chihuahuachz.jpg

209 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:38:56am

re: #200 Lord of the Pies

Colin Ferguson serving a 315-year sentence.

Oooh, born the same day I was.

210 Targetpractice  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:39:37am

re: #203 Lidane

Speaking of Fallout:

[Embedded content]

Youtube Video

211 ausador  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:45:08am

re: #184 RealityBasedSteve

Does he actually have baby monkeys for sale, and does he accept PayPal?

RBS

Yes to the first part and I don’t know to the second.

I find it sad that he is allowed to sell them because of the crappy laws of Florida, my County, and my City. People buy a baby monkey because they think it is cute and adorable, but then discover the down side.

They are very difficult to train (especially if you have no idea how), aren’t big on hygiene, and are amazingly strong for their size. Most monkeys bought as pets when babies are later abandoned (released to the outdoors) or given up to a shelter.

Florida actually has packs of monkeys living in a couple of areas of the state and has had since monkeys escaped during the filming of the old Tarzan movies in the 30’s and 40’s.

Once every few months a story will appear in the news about animal control in some Florida city or town attempting to catch a rogue monkey of some variety. Usually one that was simply released by its owner and has no idea how to survive except for getting food from mankind’s refuse.

I just don’t think that their sale should be allowed.

212 Pie-onist Overlord  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:47:49am

re: #211 ausador

Yes to the first part and I don’t know to the second.

I find it sad that he is allowed to sell them because of the crappy laws of Florida, my County, and my City. People buy a baby monkey because they think it is cute and adorable, but then discover the down side.

They are very difficult to train (especially if you have no idea how), aren’t big on hygiene, and are amazingly strong for their size. Most monkeys bought as pets when babies are later abandoned (released to the outdoors) or given up to a shelter.

Florida actually has packs of monkeys living in a couple of areas of the state and has had since monkeys escaped during the filming of the old Tarzan movies in the 40’s and 50’s.

Once every few months a story will appear in the news about animal control in some Florida city or town attempting to catch a rogue monkey of some variety. Usually one that was simply released by its owner and has no idea how to survive except for getting food from mankind’s refuse.

I just don’t think that their sale should be allowed.

I just have one question.

Where is this guy getting the baby monkeys from? Does he have a pair of monkeys and he is breeding monkeys somehow?

213 First As Tragedy, Then As Farce  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:49:22am

re: #203 Lidane

Speaking of Fallout:

[Embedded content]

Fallout 2 and the original X-COM are still two of the best games ever created, and they’re both going on 20 years old.

I doubt anything will ever be as captivating as the first time I played “Zork”, however.

214 Jack Burton  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:50:40am

re: #203 Lidane

Speaking of Fallout:

[Embedded content]

Damn… I got that pack on Steam back in June for $19.99.

215 Lidane  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 11:56:34am

This just gets funnier:

216 ausador  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:06:24pm

re: #212 Lord of the Pies

I just have one question.

Where is this guy getting the baby monkeys from? Does he have a pair of monkeys and he is breeding monkeys somehow?

He has to be breeding them because importing them has finally been severely restricted and takes a great deal of money and paperwork. But as an existing owner of monkeys you are still pretty much free to do whatever you want with them, provided it isn’t demonstrably inhumane.

217 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:16:19pm

re: #205 wrenchwench

Indicative of what? What is your best evidence it was race rather than fair conclusion about a direct physical threat and or mugging?

218 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:17:51pm

re: #196 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

Ah, Goetz. A nice callback to even more racist times.

Chances that a black guy shooting four white guys would have gotten off: about zero.

And he planned to shoot each of them, in his head, and then he did so. Without any direct threat or being attacked.

Set a kind of precedent for how we deal with white people shooting black people.

Way to twist self defense into something else. Bravo.

219 Political Atheist  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:19:23pm

Harsh assumptions just abound on this one. I’m out.

220 freetoken  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:25:12pm

re: #199 Gus

Come on man. The Bible was written in English! American English!

White American English, at that.

221 Uncle Obdicut  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:28:36pm

re: #218 Political Atheist

Way to twist self defense into something else. Bravo.

I didn’t twist anything. He wasn’t attacked, and he thought they were unarmed, and he planned to shoot each of them.

I have a lot of pity and sympathy for Geotz, but the statements he made at the time show that he wasn’t a very well man. Whether he’d been driven legitimately fearfully paranoid due to living in a city undergoing a long spasm of violence and hopelessness, or whether he was motivated by darker things, I don’t know. He never claimed, by the way, that they tried to get the gun or anything, as you hinted at earlier. He was pretty straightforward about it all.

It is hardly a case of self-defense you want to champion, it’s more a terrible, messy tragedy. There’s a lot more legitimate self-defense stories out there than Goetz, and I’ve never understood why the mythos has sprung up around him other than it was in NYC.

222 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:29:36pm

re: #217 Political Atheist

Indicative of what? What is your best evidence it was race rather than fair conclusion about a direct physical threat and or mugging?

This:

Goetz’s racial language about criminal activity on 14th Street, allegedly made at a community meeting 18 months before the shooting, “The only way we’re going to clean up this street is to get rid of the spics and n*****s

223 Uncle Obdicut  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:34:50pm

re: #222 wrenchwench

There’s a lot of ‘allegedlys’ to the Goetz story. Also included in that story you’ll find that he had black and Hispanic friends, and he really did. It’s impossible to know what was in Goetz’s mind and how much race played a part, but I don’t think it was that much. I think he was being a vigilante, not a race-avenger.

224 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:40:32pm

re: #223 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

There’s a lot of ‘allegedlys’ to the Goetz story. Also included in that story you’ll find that he had black and Hispanic friends, and he really did. It’s impossible to know what was in Goetz’s mind and how much race played a part, but I don’t think it was that much. I think he was being a vigilante, not a race-avenger.

There’s the part that it may have played in his head, and there’s the part that it may have played in his arrest, trial, and jury verdict. The latter is the more significant, but more difficult to present to PA as my ‘best evidence it was race’.

225 ObserverArt  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:41:46pm

This thread…I can’t even…

And it is not the fault of the Lizard comments…just the subject matter, the links, the utter deep derping.

Just when you think it can’t get any worse…it gets worse. And then “boom” Alex Jones saying Obama was gonna nuke everyone!

Wow. Where will it all go to next? I hesitate to think about it for fear.

226 Uncle Obdicut  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:43:10pm

re: #224 wrenchwench

There’s the part that it may have played in his head, and there’s the part that it may have played in his arrest, trial, and jury verdict. The latter is the more significant, but more difficult to present to PA as my ‘best evidence it was race’.

Yeah. I think there’s often a tendency in these cases to apply the institutional racism of the system to the accused. You could be a perfectly non-racist dude who committed a crime against a black person, and you’d still benefit from the institutional racism of the legal system.

Edit: And Goetz actually had been attacked before, it wasn’t a theoretical thing for him.

227 GeneJockey  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 12:53:08pm

re: #223 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

There’s a lot of ‘allegedlys’ to the Goetz story. Also included in that story you’ll find that he had black and Hispanic friends, and he really did. It’s impossible to know what was in Goetz’s mind and how much race played a part, but I don’t think it was that much. I think he was being a vigilante, not a race-avenger.

I am walking, talking evidence that one may have friends of different races and still find oneself having feelings and reactions that I can only describe as racist. I grew up in the whitest of white areas, and though my parents certainly weren’t racist and didn’t pass it on to me, I STILL grew up in a very monocultural community at a time when overt racism was rampant, and even though it has changed, the cultural racism persists.

The key thing, I’ve found, is knowing what’s just a reaction and not acting on it, or allowing it to color my rational beliefs.

Goetz had been mugged, and felt vulnerable on that account. It would have colored (haha) his thinking, strengthened those reactions, and muted the “Don’t act on them” inhibition. Thinking of him as either a hero or a monster is too simplistic.

228 wrenchwench  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 1:07:47pm

re: #226 Absalom, Absalom, Obdicut

Yeah. I think there’s often a tendency in these cases to apply the institutional racism of the system to the accused. You could be a perfectly non-racist dude who committed a crime against a black person, and you’d still benefit from the institutional racism of the legal system.

Edit: And Goetz actually had been attacked before, it wasn’t a theoretical thing for him.

Bolded part is a definition of privilege.

229 thecommodore  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 1:33:49pm

re: #35 Lord of the Pies

HURR HURR ALSO I DON’T WANT MY KIDS ASSOCIATING WITH KIDS OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONZ!!!11111 AND TEH POORS!!!!

[Embedded content]

Wow, someone actually saw Erick Erickson naked and had sex with him in order to have a child?

There goes my appetite.

230 cat-tikvah  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 2:30:31pm

The inimitable Eddie Izzard on white Jesus:

Link

What else is there to say?

231 spiderx  Thu, Dec 12, 2013 5:23:55pm

Megyn Kelly cannot be this dumb, can she?


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