Before yesterday, I lived in a state of bliss, ignorant of Duck Dynasty and its glorification of redneck culture. I would have been perfectly happy to continue in this blissful ignorance, but then one of the main rednecks on this brain-dead “reality show” happened to spew a whole bunch of ugly homophobia and patronizing racism, and got suspended from the show by A&E.

Here’s what this cretin actually said, just so we all know what the baseline is here:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus,” he said. “That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying?

“But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

[…]

“I never, with my eyes, saw the mistreatment of any black person. Not once. Where we lived was all farmers. The blacks worked for the farmers. I hoed cotton with them. I’m with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field…. They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’—not a word!… Pre-entitlement, pre-welfare, you say: Were they happy? They were godly; they were happy; no one was singing the blues.”

Pretty awful, right? Nobody could possibly defend this kind of rancid, blatant anti-gay hatred and racism masquerading as religious piety, could they?

Of course they could, silly! Never underestimate the right wing’s affection for truly awful people.

Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal:

“Phil Robertson and his family are great citizens of the State of Louisiana. The politically correct crowd is tolerant of all viewpoints, except those they disagree with. I don’t agree with quite a bit of stuff I read in magazine interviews or see on TV. In fact, come to think of it, I find a good bit of it offensive. But I also acknowledge that this is a free country and everyone is entitled to express their views. In fact, I remember when TV networks believed in the First Amendment. It is a messed up situation when Miley Cyrus gets a laugh, and Phil Robertson gets suspended.”

And the always incredibly dim-witted Sarah Palin had to weigh in too:

“Free speech is an endangered species. Those ‘intolerants’ hatin’ and taking on the Duck Dynasty patriarch for voicing his personal opinion are taking on all of us.”

It’s kind of pointless to point it out, because the wingnuts aren’t listening and don’t care, but this suspension has absolutely nothing to do with the First Amendment, which lays out the limits on government restriction of free speech. Last time I checked, A&E wasn’t a branch of the government.

For people who elevate the US Constitution to the status of holy writ, the wingnut crowd seems to have almost no understanding of what it actually says.