TwitterFacebook

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Quotes From the Book of Jim-Bob

Leave Phil Robertson alone!
Wingnuts • Views: 19,831

How I wish I could return to that idyllic golden age (last week) before I had ever heard of Duck Dynasty or its head cretin Phil Robertson. But alas, he’s not finished sharing his deep thoughts with the world yet, and now, predictably, he’s assuming the position of a persecuted martyr and doubling down on his gay-hating vitriol, because he knows the right wing just loves them a bigot who won’t back down — especially when he disguises the caveman hatred with some of that good ol’ time Bible-thumping! The ‘Duck Dynasty’ Double Down: ‘Sexual Immorality Is Number One on the List’ of Sins.

ROBERTSON: We murder each other and we steal from one another, sex and immorality goes ballistic. All the diseases that just so happen to follow sexual mischief… boy there are some microbes running around now. Sexual sins are numerous and many, I have a few myself. So what is your safest course of action? If you’re a man, find yourself a woman, marry them and keep your sex right there. You can have fun, but one thing is for sure, as long as you are both healthy in the first place, you are not going to catch some debilitating illness, there is safety there.

Commonsense says we are not going to procreate the human race unless we have a man and a woman. From the beginning Jesus said, “It is a man and a woman.” Adam was made and Eve was made for this reason. They left their fathers and mothers and be united to become one flesh, that’s what marriage is all about. But we looked at it and said it was an outdated stereotype. When you look back at the human race, the sins have always been the same: We get high, we get drunk, we get laid, we steal and kill. Has this changed at all from the time God burnt up whole cities because their every thought was evil?

Why is everybody picking on Phil when all he did was “quote from the scriptures?

Refresh my memory, please; which apostle was it who said, “To me, a vagina would be more desirable than a man’s anus?”

Is that a quote from the Book of Cletus?

And lo, the Apostle Bucephalus encountered a homosexual redneck on the road to Damascus, who said unto him, “Unmount, good sire, for I have sinned, and now I hath a desire to make sex with thy donkey.”

And Bucephalus spake, “To me, a vagina would be more desirable than a man’s anus, my son.”

^ back to top ^

TwitterFacebook

Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing!
For about 33 cents a day (per month) or 22 cents a day (per year), our subscription option turns off all advertisements at LGF!
Read more...

► LGF Headlines

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Articles

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Pages

  • Loading...

► Top 10 Comments

  • Loading...

► Bottom Comments

  • Loading...

► Recent Comments

  • Loading...

► Tools/Info

► Tag Cloud

► Contact

You must have Javascript enabled to use the contact form.
Your email:

Subject:

Message:


Messages may be published unless you request otherwise.
Tech Note:
Using the Contact Form
LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Last updated: 2014-03-07 2:19 pm PST

LGF User's Guide
Recent Pages
Randall Gross
Clear Ideological Divide on Investing in Gold
Gallup offers five points about Americans' views on long-term investment, from real estate to gold.

1 hour, 14 minutes ago
Views: 56 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
FemNaziBitch
FLORIDA: Sex Trafficking Bill Clears House on Unanimous Vote
A bill aimed at responding to sex trafficking, with a laundry list of services and safety precautions to protect victims, passed the Florida House of Representatives on Tuesday with a unanimous 119-0 vote. The bill, if passed by the ...

2 hours, 12 minutes ago
Views: 48 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
cycroft
Russ Campbell’s Blog
Speak­ing at a town hall in Nanaimo, B.C. on April 13, the Green Party leader called the PMO "a $10-mil­lion-a-year par­ti­san op­er­a­tion filled with ruth­less, cut­throat psy­chopaths." Eliz­a­beth May, MP for Saanich-Gulf Is­lands, later claimed she made the com­ments ...

3 hours, 8 minutes ago
Views: 29 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Skip Intro
Tea Party Candidate Curt Clawson Wins Republican Primary to Replace Former Rep. Trey Radel
Curt Clawson, a businessman who was little known months ago in Southwest Florida, won a contentious GOP primary Tuesday to fill the U.S. House seat left open by the scandalous downfall of Trey Radel. Clawson pitched himself as an ...

19 hours, 36 minutes ago
Views: 177 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 7 • Rating: 0
MichaelJ
2014 Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach - ASP - Finals Day!
More: 2014 Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach - ASP The women's final is in the water now and the men's quarterfinals begin after a champion is crowned. Bells beach is delivering the goods today with clean conditions for the ...

20 hours, 10 minutes ago
Views: 68 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 0
Political Atheist
NYT Story-American Middle Class Is No Longer the World’s Richest
After-tax middle-class incomes in Canada -- substantially behind in 2000 -- now appear to be higher than in the United States. The poor in much of Europe earn more than poor Americans. The income data were compiled by LIS, ...

1 day ago
Views: 145 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
palmerskiss
Debate Discrimination - Houston Chronicle
We're glad to see Mayor Annise Parker finally stand up and propose a human rights commission that will provide local due process for victims of public discrimination. Parker told the Chronicle editorial board that she plans to release a ...

3 days, 23 hours ago
Views: 226 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Idle Drifter
Calgary stabbings: How knife crime in Canada can cause ‘moral panic’
What Calgary police chief Rick Hanson called the "worst mass murder" in the city's history didn't end at the barrel of a gun. Instead, the 22-year-old suspect identified on Tuesday as Matthew de Grood is accused of entering the kitchen ...

6 days, 13 hours ago
Views: 375 • Comments: 6
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
aagcobb
New York Electoral College: State Joins National Popular Vote Interstate Compact.
Ben Mathis-Lilley, Slate: New York Electoral College: State Joins National Popular Vote Interstate Compact. Instead of pushing for a Constitutional amendment, which would have to be ratified in 38 states, advocates ask individual state legislatures to pass an agreement: that ...

6 days, 20 hours ago
Views: 364 • Comments: 8
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
iossarian
Drug Companies Want Your Money
Two thematically-related stories on the BBC at the moment: UK drug company Glaxo 'paid bribes to Polish doctors' UK drug company GlaxoSmithKline is facing a criminal investigation in Poland for allegedly bribing doctors, BBC Panorama has discovered. Tamiflu: Millions wasted ...

1 week ago
Views: 361 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 8 • Rating: 0
 Frank says:

I figure the odds are fifty-fifty I just might have some thing to say.