NY Satanists to Posthumously Baptize Fred Phelps… into Homosexuality

If it’s good enough for Joseph Smith’s suckers, it oughtta be good enough for the rest of us, right?
Religion • Views: 26,340

The NY Satanic Temple plans on giving the same holy ceremony they did for Fred’s mother — the Pink Mass.

Lucien Greaves, the head of the Satanic Temple, has some “heartfelt”(?) words about the planned event:

At the time, I predicted that Fred hadn’t too much longer till he would pass, and I stated - in a direct tweet to the WBC - that I would be presiding over Fred’s own Pink Mass before too long. As I have made a promise to a dying man, I fully intend to do my very best to see it through, and the pomp and circumstance of this Pink Mass will surely far, far exceed that of the original event in Meridian, Mississippi.

So, uh. This is a thing. It’ll be interesting to see if the WBC tries to keep this form of protected free speech away from Fred’s gravesite. However, given that they have excommunicated Fred for apparently having a change of heart (and actually accepting real Christian values into his blackened heart), who knows?

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42 comments

1 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 19, 2014 10:57:09am

Or they could secretly sneak a halal turkey into his coffin and bury him as a Muslim…

2 Kragar  Mar 19, 2014 10:57:59am

So the mean old bastard finally died?

Noted.

3 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 10:58:48am

re: #2 Kragar

So the mean old bastard finally died?

Noted.

No, I think this is future tense- they’re going to when he croaks.

4 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 10:59:49am

I’m sure some will be outraged but this is tongue in cheek while the LDS do this for real which while I’m not religious at all find infinitely more distasteful.

5 Decatur Deb  Mar 19, 2014 11:00:08am

Toddler-on-toddler mudfight.

6 Kragar  Mar 19, 2014 11:01:39am

re: #3 HappyWarrior

No, I think this is future tense- they’re going to when he croaks.

Ah, okay.

Seriously, the best thing they could do is ignore him utterly and consign him to the dustbin of history.

7 Skip Intro  Mar 19, 2014 11:02:12am

re: #3 HappyWarrior

No, I think this is future tense- they’re going to when he croaks.

He’s sure taking his time. Get on with it, Fred.

8 dr. luba  Mar 19, 2014 11:04:27am
Roman Romanenko, a Ukrainian living in Vologda (Russia), has witnessed the following printouts distributed in all the apartments of his house. As a result of Russia’s ceaseless propaganda machine, many Russians believe that Ukrainians are out there to destroy Russia, while Crimea is under Russian occupation.

“A piece of scum from Lviv lives in your building, who supports the West in destroying Ukraine, like it was in Yugoslavia… Syria. What’s next, Russia???? His brother has been on the Maidan for a long time. “Pravy Sector” has declared a war on Russia — its method is a partisan war with the support of armed fighters from the Caucasus. Be careful, the apartment of Ukrainian-Jew Romanenko could become a conspiratorial apartment for the “Ukrainian patriots”!!!!

lh3.googleusercontent.com

Someone’s been watching too much Russian television. Russians in Ukraine—safe? Tatars in Crimea? Being dispossessed. Ukrainians in Russia? Doesn’t look good.

9 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:04:56am

re: #6 Kragar

Ah, okay.

Seriously, the best thing they could do is ignore him utterly and consign him to the dustbin of history.

Yep let him go the way of other assholes.

10 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:06:46am

My uncle became involved in the Church of Satan. He was an atheist, but he joined the COS for the cocaine and the underage “altar girls.” Satan didn’t help him when he got busted for cocaine possession and trafficking in teenage prostitutes.

Also he spent my grandmother’s entire pension on lawyers and plea bargains.

11 Backwoods_Sleuth  Mar 19, 2014 11:07:03am

speaking of assholes…

<script async src=”//platform.twitter.com” charset=”utf-8”></script>

12 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:07:36am

My cousins rebelled against their upbringing and became decent and caring human beings.

13 A Mom Anon  Mar 19, 2014 11:07:45am

Eh, let him die in peace. The hate isn’t going to die with him. I think it could be prudent to see if this “church” has tax exempt status and see if that could be removed. His kids are a bigger pain in the ass/ threat (?- more like a huge annoyance like being stuck in a room with a herd of toddlers on meth). They’re a family of grifters, hitting them in the wallet would be the best revenge.

14 Decatur Deb  Mar 19, 2014 11:08:04am

re: #10 Pie-onist Overlord

My uncle became involved in the Church of Satan. He was an atheist, but he joined the COS for the cocaine and the underage “altar girls.” Satan didn’t help him when he got busted for cocaine possession and trafficking in teenage prostitutes.

Also he spent my grandmother’s entire pension on lawyers and plea bargains.

Satan is a notoriously shitty wingman.

15 Charles Johnson  Mar 19, 2014 11:08:59am
16 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:09:52am

Moving-on Up to the New Thread

Nice view.

17 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:13:37am

re: #15 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Can’t wait to go back to Ireland this summer. Some of the most beautiful sea views you’ll ever see.

18 Kragar  Mar 19, 2014 11:14:29am

“You will die alone and afraid, knowing not a single human being ever loved you. Lucky numbers 3, 18, 87. Weird, I keep getting the same one.”
- Fred Phelps reading a fortune cookie

19 Fairly Sure I'm Still Obdicut  Mar 19, 2014 11:15:04am

Well, that’s dumb.

20 NJDhockeyfan  Mar 19, 2014 11:17:03am

Russia carrying out military excersizes near the Baltic countries? Shocka!

Russian military starts aviation exercises in northwest

MOSCOW (Reuters) - Russia’s military started large-scale aviation exercises in the northwest on Wednesday, officials said, close to Baltic ex-Soviet republics that are members of NATO and wary of Russia after its annexation of Crimea.

The exercises involving jet fighters and bombers were being conducted in regions that do not border Ukraine. A senior Russian military source said they had been planned in December and had no political significance.

Interfax reported that the drills would involve more than 40 Sukhoi and MiG warplanes and were being held in regions including Leningrad, which borders NATO-member Estonia and Finland, and Karelia, which shares a long border with Finland.

The drill ends in late March, it cited a spokesman for the Western Military District, Colonel Oleg Kochetkov, as saying.

21 Teukka  Mar 19, 2014 11:18:00am

Off-Topic but thought I would share.

This morning, a mystery woman was found asleep in the Swedish Riksdag, near a pool of urine, feces and vomit.

And some still say private can <u>always</u> do better than government. I wouldn’t want to be the boss of Tempest security (the firm handling the security in the Swedish Riksdag) today.

22 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:20:15am
23 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:22:06am

re: #22 FemNaziBitch

NYC inmate ‘baked to death’ in cell

That’s awful. We really need to do something about mental illness. Look for cures, look to help, etc. Anything that doesn’t marginalize them from society.

24 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:23:18am

re: #23 HappyWarrior

That’s awful. We really need to do something about mental illness. Look for cures, look to help, etc. Anything that doesn’t marginalize them from society.

That requires funding… …

25 Charles Johnson  Mar 19, 2014 11:24:11am
26 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:25:48am

re: #24 FemNaziBitch

That requires funding… …

Yeah I know. Republican donors need their tax cuts. Sigh.

27 Justanotherhuman  Mar 19, 2014 11:26:38am

There is no Satan. I’m with Mom Anon—hit the Phelps Klan in the wallet. All they do is sue, sue, sue and they’ve never lost a First Amendment lawsuit as far as I’ve heard.

Meanwhile, had a bit of a scare yesterday when I got up from the chair and couldn’t use my right leg—it just collapsed on me. It had sort of been bothering me for a few days, but I rack up a lot to just getting older. Had to crawl 12 ft to the couch; my grandson came home from a job not too long after and took me to the ER. Turns out (without any tests, just a cursory exam) that it’s a “pinched nerve”, otherwise known as sciatica. The worst part is that I was given Tramadol (which I’d never heard of but was told it’s the same as Advil) after I told him no opiates. From what I read since, it’s a synthetic morphine and I took 100 mg last night and have been sick all day, even throwing up. We picked up the full Rx of that and prednisone last night (which I hate, also) and I’m not taking either one. I’ll just depend on the heating pad which I used last night but I’ve been sleep deprived now for almost 24 hours, so of course, after all this I’m in a funk. Why do they want to dope people up so much? I think, in retrospect, it’s overkill. I can stand a lot of pain, but once the initial severe onslaught was over, it’s become tolerable.

What else is new? : )

28 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:28:19am
29 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:29:00am

re: #28 Pie-onist Overlord

[Embedded content]

Wolf Blitzer wants to know if the plane had an accent.

30 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:31:15am

re: #29 HappyWarrior

Wolf Blitzer wants to know if the plane had an accent.

Wolf Blitzer says “The plane is in custody!”

31 HappyWarrior  Mar 19, 2014 11:34:23am

re: #30 Pie-onist Overlord

Wolf Blitzer says “The plane is in custody!”

Wolf Blitzer says the plane’s arrest is excellent news for John McCain. Karl Rove wants to know if the plane landed in all of Ohio’s counties though.

32 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:34:27am

re: #27 Justanotherhuman

There is no Satan. I’m with Mom Anon—hit the Phelps Klan in the wallet. All they do is sue, sue, sue and they’ve never lost a First Amendment lawsuit as far as I’ve heard.

Meanwhile, had a bit of a scare yesterday when I got up from the chair and couldn’t use my right leg—it just collapsed on me. It had sort of been bothering me for a few days, but I rack up a lot to just getting older. Had to crawl 12 ft to the couch; my grandson came home from a job not too long after and took me to the ER. Turns out (without any tests, just a cursory exam) that it’s a “pinched nerve”, otherwise known as sciatica. The worst part is that I was given Tramadol (which I’d never heard of but was told it’s the same as Advil) after I told him no opiates. From what I read since, it’s a synthetic morphine and I took 100 mg last night and have been sick all day, even throwing up. We picked up the full Rx of that and prednisone last night (which I hate, also) and I’m not taking either one. I’ll just depend on the heating pad which I used last night but I’ve been sleep deprived now for almost 24 hours, so of course, after all this I’m in a funk. Why do they want to dope people up so much? I think, in retrospect, it’s overkill. I can stand a lot of pain, but once the initial severe onslaught was over, it’s become tolerable.

What else is new? : )

try to get PT to learn the exercises to prevent it from happening again.

(((justanotherhuman)))

33 Justanotherhuman  Mar 19, 2014 11:35:01am
34 Justanotherhuman  Mar 19, 2014 11:35:47am

re: #32 FemNaziBitch

try to get PT to learn the exercises to prevent it from happening again.

(((justanotherhuman)))

Thanks. The last time it happened was 53 yrs ago when I was pregnant with my second son. He pressed on a nerve and has been doing it ever since. : )

35 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:37:50am

re: #34 Justanotherhuman

Thanks. The last time it happened was 53 yrs ago when I was pregnant with my second son. He pressed on a nerve and has been doing it ever since. : )

Kids, I swear they ruin the body.

36 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:40:39am

re: #34 Justanotherhuman

Thanks. The last time it happened was 53 yrs ago when I was pregnant with my second son. He pressed on a nerve and has been doing it ever since. : )

I have intermittant bouts with it because all my joints are loose. The configuration of bones around that nerve is such that sometimes that nerve get’s pressure on it.

Exercises help alot

37 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:40:49am

Whoa got another angry wingnut

38 FemNaziBitch  Mar 19, 2014 11:42:01am

re: #37 Pie-onist Overlord

Whoa got another angry wingnut

[Embedded content]

YEAH, well, finding someone to pay is the issue, dipshit.

39 Pie-onist Overlord  Mar 19, 2014 11:50:26am

Looks like Cindy’s got a sockpuppet.

40 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 19, 2014 12:23:25pm

re: #37 Pie-onist Overlord

Whoa got another angry wingnut

[Embedded content]

They like to talk about “the dignity of work” and totally overlook that part of the dignity is not just busting hump all day, it is about being able to support one’s family and maybe even help them get a better education and better job - is that not the American Dream that they are so fond of touting?

41 sagehen  Mar 19, 2014 12:33:54pm

re: #25 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Somebody needs to photoshop the welcome sign, registration table with a cute little Martian staffer….

42 sffilk  Mar 20, 2014 6:05:38am

re: #4 HappyWarrior

I’m sure some will be outraged but this is tongue in cheek while the LDS do this for real which while I’m not religious at all find infinitely more distasteful.

There is a website now where you can necro-baptize Mormons to be gay.


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