Best Story of the Day: Sarah Palin Clan Reportedly Involved in Huge Drunken Brawl

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Weird • Views: 45,884

Yes, I know, that headline! Can this possibly be true?

Well, dear readers, there are multiple sources now, so I believe this has to qualify as the best story of the day so far, as the whole Palin family is reported to have been involved in a giant drunken brawl at a party in Anchorage, complete with the mater familias screeching, “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!” before uncorking her wicked left hook.

Yr Wonkette is where I first sighted this wondrous tale: Anchorage PD: Palins Were ‘Present’ at 20-Person Brawl. Fate of Hos’ Weave Unknown.

And there’s a detailed account of the festivities at Amanda Coyne’s blog: Hell Hath No Fury Like a Palin Family Visit.

As many of us have read, Bristol Palin was visited by a Floridian stalker on Sunday who somehow ended up on the family’s balcony. The stalker currently sits in jail. That’s pretty dramatic. But that’s the least of it. The night before, Saturday, was a doozy. The details are a little sketchy, but there’s enough of them, from enough different sources, that a story emerges, a story that according to the gossip Gods, looks kind of like this: There’s some sort of unofficial birthday/Iron Dog-type/snowmachine party in Anchorage. A nice, mellow party, until the Palin’s show up. There’s beer, of course, and maybe other things. Which is all fine, but just about the time when some people might have had one too many, a Track Palin stumbles out of a stretch Hummer, and immediately spots an ex-boyfriend of Willow’s. Track isn’t happy with this guy, the story goes. There’s words, and more. The owner of the house gets involved, and he probably wished he hadn’t. At this point, he’s up against nearly the whole Palin tribe: Palin women screaming. Palin men thumping their chests. Word is that Bristol has a particularly strong right hook, which she employed repeatedly, and it’s something to hear when Sarah screams, “Don’t you know who I am!” And it was particularly wonderful when someone in the crowd screamed back, “This isn’t some damned Hillbilly reality show!” No, it’s what happens when the former First Family of Alaska comes knocking. As people were leaving in a cab, Track was seen on the street, shirtless, flipping people off, with Sarah right behind him, and Todd somewhere in the foreground, tending to his bloody nose.

And it’s even been confirmed now by Anchorage PD: Anchorage Police Department Provides an Update and Case Number for the Throw Down at the Hoedown.

We can only hope and pray that someone yanked out their cell phone in time and got video of the fisticuffs. If it exists, you know it’s got to come out.

UPDATE at 9/11/14 5:39:09 pm by Charles Johnson

Amanda Coyne now has more details on the Palin family battle royale:

What I have heard since, without much trying, and what I knew then, is that the cops were called after the brawl. It’s confirmed that the Palins, all of them, were involved in some way involved in a fight at a house in Anchorage were a party was going it. Bristol’s son, Tripp was at the party. I have confirmed from multiple sources that Bristol punched someone repeatedly, and that charges might be filed. I spoke to a source yesterday who witnessed part of it. She said that some in the crowd were trying to restrain Sarah, who was clawing to get involved in the fight, which had moved to the cul-de-sac outside of the house. She was also screaming loudly. She wore platform high-tops with the American flag on them, and Bristol wore big, round shades. As I reported, Track was at some point in the night, shirtless.

The whole family arrived in a stretch Hummer limo, and had to be told to leave the house.

UPDATE at 9/12/14 7:32:25 am by Charles Johnson

More details now emerging:

As I had reported a few days ago, multiple accounts say that it started when Track confronted Willow’s former boyfriend, Conner Cleary, who was there with his father Steve and his mother Melissa. Thompson didn’t see this part, but other witnesses, who didn’t want to be named, say that Conner and Track fought on the front yard. Steve tried to break it up. Todd jumped into the mix and began to choke Steve.

After that ended, Conner, Steve, and Melissa Cleary huddled together close to Thompson, who spotted Bristol and Willow from a distance, walking straight towards them with purpose.

“They were on a b-line, coming straight at Melissa,” Thompson said.

The owner of the house, Klingenmeyer, was trying to head them off at the pass. He approached them and told them to leave. Bristol, according to Thompson and other witnesses, planted her feet, “stood straight up, brought her arm back and cold-cocked him right in the face,” Thompson said.

And then she did it again, about six more times, before he pushed her away, and she fell, and Todd appeared.

“I was thoroughly amazed at the restraint Korey showed. He’s a total gentlemen,” Thompson said.

Another melee. This time Sarah got involved and began to scream profanities at everyone. One source, who didn’t want to be named, said that she was “nearly crawling on top of people,” trying to get into the scrum.

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