Republican Net Neutrality Bill Would Gut FCC’s Authority Over Broadband

By Jon Brodkin, Ars Technica
US News • Views: 29,711

Net neutrality legislation unveiled by Republicans today would gut the ability of the Federal Communications Commission to regulate the broadband industry.

As expected, the bill forbids the FCC from reclassifying broadband as a common carrier service, preventing the commission from using authority it has under Title II of the Communications Act of 1934. This is the statute the FCC uses to regulate landline telephone providers.

The bill—full text here—also targets a portion of the Telecommunications Act of 1996. Section 706 of the Act instructs the FCC to accelerate deployment of broadband to all Americans “by removing barriers to infrastructure investment and by promoting competition in the telecommunications market.” The FCC is considering using this authority to preempt state laws that limit the rights of cities and towns to build broadband networks.

That will be off the table if Republicans get their way. The bill text amends communications law “to prohibit the Commission or a State commission from relying on section 706 of the Telecommunications Act of 1996 as a grant of authority.” It also defines broadband as an “information service,” preventing the FCC from treating broadband providers as common carriers.

More: Republican Net Neutrality Bill Would Gut FCC’s Authority Over Broadband

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168 comments
1 Dark_Falcon  Jan 17, 2015 8:55:52am

The bill seems right. The FCC is getting too frisky in this area and its time for Congress to haul it into line.

2 The War TARDIS  Jan 17, 2015 9:47:41am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Party Uber Alles, as always.

3 The War TARDIS  Jan 17, 2015 9:48:30am

We’ve let the the Private Sector monitor itself. It doesn’t work. And the Republicans are corrupt.

4 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 10:51:02am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

The bill seems right. The FCC is getting too frisky in this area and its time for Congress to haul it into line.

The bill is absolutely horrible and another example of the GOP putting the interests of large corporations ahead of the public interest. This bill stinks.

5 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 10:52:48am
6 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 10:57:00am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Why do you support having a substandard Internet?

7 GlutenFreeJesus  Jan 17, 2015 10:57:04am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Wake. Up.

8 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 10:59:43am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Let me ask you this.
What does Net Neutrality mean?
Why do you think it is bad?

9 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 11:01:09am
10 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 11:03:09am

We absolutely need the FCC to step in and override the laws passed by GOP-controlled legislatures in some cities that prevent the creation of publicly-owned Internet utilities. These laws are holding America back, and benefiting no one except the cable monopolies.

11 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:03:23am

Testimony of Chairman Alan Greenspan
The regulation of OTC derivatives
Before the Committee on Banking and Financial Services, U.S. House of Representatives
July 24, 1998

Nonetheless, I see no reason to question the underlying stability of the OTC markets, or the overall effectiveness of private market discipline, or the prudential supervision of the derivatives activities of banks and other regulated participants. The huge increase in the volume of OTC transactions reflects the judgments of counterparties that these instruments provide extensive protection against undue asset concentration risk. They are clearly perceived to add significant value to our financial structure, both here in the United States and internationally.

Accordingly the Federal Reserve Board sees no reason why these markets should be encumbered with a regulatory structure devised for a wholly different type of market process, where supplies of underlying assets are driven by the vagaries of weather and seasons. Inappropriate regulation distorts the efficiency of our market system and as a consequence impedes growth and improvement in standards of living.

Oh, yeah, the invisible hand keeps greed in-check.

*spit*

12 Belafon  Jan 17, 2015 11:07:32am

re: #8 Varek Raith

Net neutrality prevents the wealthy from making the internet their exclusive property.

13 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 11:08:24am

re: #12 Belafon

I know.
I want to know what Dark thinks it is.
Most who opposed have no idea why.

14 Higgs Boson's Mate  Jan 17, 2015 11:13:05am

The same people who will whine about the rising costs and poor service of the incipient GOP Internet are the same ones who couldn’t bother to get off of their asses and vote Democratic in the mid-terms. The GOP will get away with with branding this bill as a boon to consumers because much of the population of Newton Minnow’s “vast wasteland” has been rendered incurious.

15 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 11:16:36am

While some of you are asking Dark about what he knows about net neutrality, I’d like to ask him what the FCC has done to be too frisky?

I’m thinking he may not like them because they are a federal agency and Republicans just hate federal agencies. Just like Rick Perry, they have three they really want to go after the most…education, commerce and…uh, ummm, uh…the FCC!

16 Belafon  Jan 17, 2015 11:19:34am

This bill says that the internet belongs to corporations a and we get to use it at their whim. Forget that it was created by our government and that it is our information on it.

17 TedStriker  Jan 17, 2015 11:24:48am

re: #13 Varek Raith

I know.
I want to know what Dark thinks it is.
Most who opposed have no idea why.

I doubt Dark can give a cogent argument for why this is a good thing, except that it’s what his team, the TPGOP, wants.

18 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 11:25:46am

re: #16 Belafon

This bill says that the internet belongs to corporations a and we get to use it at their whim. Forget that it was created by our government and that it is our information on it.

I thought it belonged to Al Gore?

/

Outside the snark of my comment, I bet a little kernal of that Gore/internet crap gets used in this somehow. It’s one of the specialty hammers collection in the Republican toolbox.

By the way, have many of you ever viewed the contents of a GOP toolbox?

If I were a GOP hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer at night!

You got it. All hammers. They even use them to drive the screws!

19 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:28:58am
To amend the Communications Act of 1934 to ensure Internet
openness, to prohibit blocking lawful content and
non-harmful devices, to prohibit throttling data, to prohibit
paid prioritization, to require transparency of network
management practices, to provide that broadband
shall be considered to be an information service, and
to prohibit the Commission or a State commission from
relying on section 706 of the Telecommunications Act
of 1996 as a grant of authority.

To prohibit who or whom from doing all these things?

20 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:30:11am

re: #19 FemNaziBitch

To prohibit who or whom from doing all these things?

never mind:

--A person engaged in the pro-
10 vision of broadband Internet access service, insofar as
11 such person is so engaged—

21 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:36:55am

Internet is Infrastructure —like roads and bridges —no?

22 Shazam  Jan 17, 2015 11:37:36am

re: #21 FemNaziBitch

Internet is Infrastructure —like roads and bridges —no?

Exactly. It’s a series of tubes the government built, not private corporations.

23 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 11:41:21am

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Goddammit D_F. I often defend you on this blog, but you need to do better than this. Why do you think this is a good idea? How would it help the American people?

24 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:42:29am

bbl

25 FemNaziBitch  Jan 17, 2015 11:43:01am

re: #23 blueraven

Goddammit D_F. I often defend you on this blog, but you need to do better than this. Why do you think this is a good idea? How would it help the American people?

GOVERNMENT BAD,period.

26 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 11:49:25am

Checking our referrers, I see a substantial number of hits coming from an openly racist website today.

donotlink.com

27 Kragar  Jan 17, 2015 11:53:34am
28 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 12:03:32pm

Dead thread has died.

29 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:04:38pm

re: #28 b_sharp

Dead thread has died.

I’m not dead.

30 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:05:30pm

re: #26 Charles Johnson

No Thread specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator

31 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 12:05:47pm

re: #29 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

I’m not dead.

Is your name Thread?

32 Rightwingconspirator  Jan 17, 2015 12:06:31pm

Small misunderstanding. It’s the dread thread.

33 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:07:31pm

re: #31 b_sharp

Is your name Thread?

Oh. That explains it.

34 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:07:53pm

Thread is dead, baby. Thread is dead.

35 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 12:08:01pm

re: #33 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Oh. That explains it.

It explains everything.

36 Shazam  Jan 17, 2015 12:08:12pm

We were all destroyed by DF’s logic and rationality, and now we’re all a little too embarrassed to say anything.

Romney/Cruz 2016

37 Rightwingconspirator  Jan 17, 2015 12:08:53pm

“It’s really about journalism in….”

38 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:08:59pm

re: #35 b_sharp

It explains everything.

42

39 Shazam  Jan 17, 2015 12:09:56pm

re: #37 Rightwingconspirator

It’s really about journalism in….

….ethics gaming?

40 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 12:12:36pm

re: #28 b_sharp

Dead thread has died.

Saturday afternoon. Oh, that’s right…still working on my damn staircase.

It’s killing me…so I am one of the dead.

But logged in to come back for reading in between scraping, etc.

41 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 12:12:43pm

re: #30 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Apparently it does that if you use donotlink. If you really want to see it, look for “chimpout” on the referrers page.

42 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:14:39pm
43 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:15:36pm
44 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 12:18:26pm

re: #32 Rightwingconspirator

Small misunderstanding. It’s the dread thread.

Oh, well then…

45 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 12:20:01pm

re: #36 Shazam

We were all destroyed by DF’s logic and rationality, and now we’re all a little too embarrassed to say anything.

Romney/Cruz 2016

I’m not embarrassed. I’m stunned. I shouldn’t be, but he always get’s me.

/

46 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 12:20:38pm

Stupid cat tried to kill me.

47 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:21:21pm

re: #46 Varek Raith

Stupid cat tried to kill me.

Is it stupid because it failed?

48 Rightwingconspirator  Jan 17, 2015 12:22:23pm

re: #46 Varek Raith

Do not screw with basement cat

49 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 12:23:29pm

re: #22 Shazam

Exactly. It’s a series of tubes the government built, not private corporations.

But private corporations can run the internet much more efficiently because free markets and moran labe….

////////////

50 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 12:23:29pm

re: #47 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Is it stupid because it failed?

Yes.
She is not strong enough in the Darkside.
/Disappointed.

51 klystron  Jan 17, 2015 12:26:59pm

That was pretty bad even for Dark, to drop that and then not reply at all. No elaboration of why he thinks the FCC is getting frisky. Nothing.

Man, those conservative principles at work again, taking responsibility for what’s said and backing up a position with facts…

52 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:27:19pm

re: #50 Varek Raith

Yes.
She is not strong enough in the Darkside.
/Disappointed.

OK. Tell us when it succeeds.

53 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 12:27:47pm

re: #52 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

OK. Tell us when it succeeds.

A postcard from hell would be nice.

54 Rightwingconspirator  Jan 17, 2015 12:28:30pm

re: #44 ObserverArt

Oh, well then…

[Embedded content]

Video

That’s hilarious.

55 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:28:32pm

re: #53 b_sharp

A postcard from hell would be nice.

Why necessarily from hell? From Kolob.

56 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 12:29:38pm

re: #55 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Why necessarily from hell? From Kolob.

I’ve never been to Kolob.

57 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 12:30:03pm

Ninja Kat at Varek Raith’s place.

58 GlutenFreeJesus  Jan 17, 2015 12:31:26pm

re: #51 klystron

“Be back later”

59 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:31:32pm

re: #56 b_sharp

If you could hie to Kolob
In the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward
With that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever,
Through all eternity,
Find out the generation
Where Gods began to be?

60 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:32:26pm

re: #59 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

61 TedStriker  Jan 17, 2015 12:34:50pm

re: #23 blueraven

Goddammit D_F. I often defend you on this blog, but you need to do better than this. Why do you think this is a good idea? How would it help the American people?

Yeah, every time it seems like Dark’s actually started to get some common sense and some empathy, he goes and blows it all to hell to defend his team, often over the most petty or headscratching things.

I got over his shit and put him on GAZE months ago.

62 TedStriker  Jan 17, 2015 12:36:32pm

re: #34 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Thread is dead, baby. Thread is dead.

As you ride out of town on the thread’s chopper…

63 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 12:37:26pm

re: #62 TedStriker

As you ride out of town on the thread’s chopper…

64 Dr. Matt  Jan 17, 2015 12:45:11pm

This bill is a classic of example of trying to fix something that isn’t broke, and sadly the D_Fs of the world will gladly support this bill even though it’s completely against their best interest…..

The #GOP: Government bad, corporations good

Government bad, corporation good.

65 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 12:56:21pm
66 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 12:59:01pm

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

You really are pathetic, now.
And what’s even sadder is the fact that you apparently really believe all of this RAH RAH TEAM crap you spout when, at the same time, it is patently obvious you don’t have a freaking clue about net neutrality or life outside your oh-so-safe extreme rightwing bubble of thinking.

Here’s a clue, D_F:
Extending the benefit of reliable broadband internet to people outside of urban areas (yeah, that would be us rural folks who provide your food and electricity and landfills for your garbage pickup) isn’t going to decrease YOUR access to the internet, nor will it take a fucking dime out of you pocket or your sacred tax dollars (we rural folks pay lots of taxes, too, and we’re sick and tired of kneejerk reaction people like you whining about shit you don’t understand).

good freaking grief.

67 Mattand  Jan 17, 2015 1:00:34pm

LOL, I don’t think I’ve ever the first comment on a post nuked into oblivion before.

68 Lidane  Jan 17, 2015 1:01:45pm

As usual, the Republican party is determined to destroy this country while convincing a bunch of easily led sheep that it’s for the good of the free market.

Unbelievable.

69 SteveMcGaziBolaGate  Jan 17, 2015 1:01:51pm

Odd thing on my browser is that the first comment is replaced by a button prompting me to click on it to show the comment. First time I ever saw that.

70 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 1:02:39pm

re: #69 SteveMcGaziBolaGate

Odd thing on my browser is that the first comment is replaced by a button prompting me to click on it to show the comment. First time I ever saw that.

New feature - it happens if the rating falls below -10.

71 klystron  Jan 17, 2015 1:02:45pm

re: #69 SteveMcGaziBolaGate

Odd thing on my browser is that the first comment is replaced by a button prompting me to click on it to show the comment. First time I ever saw that.

It’s been in place for a bit now, happens when a comment gets 10 downdings.

That plus asking folks to reply, not quote trolling comments, helps some of us avoid it when we choose. Or be masochists and click on it anyway.

72 Lidane  Jan 17, 2015 1:11:29pm

The internet should not be treated as a luxury in 2015. It might have been one in 1996, but not anymore.

It’s a utility. And it’s criminal that the GOP want to allow their rich donors to gouge people and companies even more for something that is a ubiquitous need these days.

73 jaunte  Jan 17, 2015 1:13:09pm
The FCC is considering using this authority to preempt state laws that limit the rights of cities and towns to build broadband networks.

Interesting how “small government” principles get abandoned when the states want to impose their will on municipalities.

74 stpaulbear  Jan 17, 2015 1:13:35pm

re: #71 klystron

It’s been in place for a bit now, happens when a comment gets 10 downdings.

That plus asking folks to reply, not quote trolling comments, helps some of us avoid it when we choose. Or be masochists and click on it anyway.

I only clicked on it to see how many downdings it got.

75 Mattand  Jan 17, 2015 1:14:06pm

Every time I hear some Republican or libertarian yammer that competition is what the ISP industry needs, I just look at the Philly skyline. Two (soon to be three) of the largest skyscrapers belong to either Verizon or Comcast.

Competition is the last thing on their minds.

What’s really sad is that:

1) There are thousand upon thousands of people who literally can see those buildings from their front step, for whom decent internet access is a pipe dream. Also another stumbling block that keeps them from getting a decent education and job.

2) There’s people like Backwoods Sleuth in rural areas who pay as much as I do for internet speeds that would have laughable even in 1997.

Internet access is no longer a luxury, and Republican, conservatives, and libertarians need to fucking wake up to that fact.

76 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 1:15:46pm

re: #72 Lidane

The internet should not be treated as a luxury in 2015. It might have been one in 1996, but not anymore.

It’s a utility. And it’s criminal that the GOP want to allow their rich donors to gouge people and companies even more for something that is a ubiquitous need these days.

And I’m still waiting for real broadband that I’ve been paying for the last 10 years, instead of the barely better than dial-up service (when it actually even does that) that I currently “enjoy”.

77 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 1:16:11pm

re: #73 jaunte

Interesting how “small government” principles get abandoned when the states want to impose their will on municipalities.

exactly!

78 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 1:18:09pm

re: #75 Mattand

I love you so much.

79 Lidane  Jan 17, 2015 1:18:17pm

re: #73 jaunte

Interesting how “small government” principles get abandoned when the states want to impose their will on municipalities.

Sort of like Greg Abbott wanting to use state law to overturn Austin’s plastic bag ban, eh?

80 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 1:20:42pm
81 Mattand  Jan 17, 2015 1:21:01pm

re: #78 Backwoods_Sleuth

I love you so much.

Hey, you’re only human!

Why, yes, I did have to enlarge every door in the house to accommodate my ego. How did you know?

82 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 1:22:37pm
83 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 1:36:15pm

Good grief. Our species is doomed.

84 Hercules Grytpype-Thynneghazi  Jan 17, 2015 1:36:21pm

re: #41 Charles Johnson

Apparently it does that if you use donotlink. If you really want to see it, look for “chimpout” on the referrers page.

So I just followed the link from the referrers page. That site is … disturbing.

85 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 1:38:41pm

re: #83 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Our species is doomed.

[Embedded content]

…..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Yeah, we’re boned.

86 TedStriker  Jan 17, 2015 1:43:22pm

re: #66 Backwoods_Sleuth

You really are pathetic, now.
And what’s even sadder is the fact that you apparently really believe all of this RAH RAH TEAM crap you spout when, at the same time, it is patently obvious you don’t have a freaking clue about net neutrality or life outside your oh-so-safe extreme rightwing bubble of thinking.

Here’s a clue, D_F:
Extending the benefit of reliable broadband internet to people outside of urban areas (yeah, that would be us rural folks who provide your food and electricity and landfills for your garbage pickup) isn’t going to decrease YOUR access to the internet, nor will it take a fucking dime out of you pocket or your sacred tax dollars (we rural folks pay lots of taxes, too, and we’re sick and tired of kneejerk reaction people like you whining about shit you don’t understand).

good freaking grief.

87 Sionainn  Jan 17, 2015 1:43:39pm

re: #72 Lidane

The internet should not be treated as a luxury in 2015. It might have been one in 1996, but not anymore.

It’s a utility. And it’s criminal that the GOP want to allow their rich donors to gouge people and companies even more for something that is a ubiquitous need these days.

My business wouldn’t function without high speed internet access.

88 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 1:44:54pm

re: #83 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Our species is doomed.

[Embedded content]

bwahahahaaaa…

Yes, we are doomed…and I see that the survey was done by Oklahoma State University.

My shocked face, etc.

89 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 1:50:10pm

Evening Lizardim from the wild north country. How go things among the lizardfolk on this cloudy, mild winter evening?

90 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 1:53:29pm

re: #89 thedopefishlives

Evening Lizardim from the wild north country. How go things among the lizardfolk on this cloudy, mild winter evening?

Our food, apparently, contains DNA and we should be very very afraid…

91 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 1:53:33pm

re: #87 Sionainn

My business wouldn’t function without high speed internet access.

High speed Internet is the driving force behind the next evolution in my chosen field. I’m a programmer; smart devices are the current Big Thing (tm), and bandwidth - especially in “away-from-home” situations - is more often a constraint than the device’s computing resources.

92 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 1:53:57pm

re: #84 Hercules Grytpype-Thynneghazi

It’s been around for a long time. Here’s a post at Something Awful about it:

somethingawful.com

93 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 1:54:13pm

re: #90 Backwoods_Sleuth

Our food, apparently, contains DNA and we should be very very afraid…

My dad worked for Big Food for a quarter of a century. I’m immune to the fear-mongering by now.

94 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:02:23pm

re: #85 Varek Raith

…..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Yeah, we’re boned.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have any of your fancy DNA.

95 Romantic Heretic  Jan 17, 2015 2:05:29pm

re: #83 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Our species is doomed.

[Embedded content]

And having my daily dose of depressing news I’m off to play War Thunder.

Later, lizards.

96 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 2:06:23pm

re: #94 Decatur Deb

When I was a kid, we didn’t have any of your fancy DNA.

We had hand-me-downs from cousins we hated…

97 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:08:30pm

re: #60 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

[Embedded content]

Video

Stairway to Heaven?

98 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:08:34pm

re: #96 Backwoods_Sleuth

We had hand-me-downs from cousins we hated…

Just read up on Crick to confirm the timeline. He switched from Physics to Biology when a German bomb destroyed his apparatus.

99 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 2:11:33pm

re: #96 Backwoods_Sleuth

We had hand-me-downs from cousins we hated…

I was the youngest of four boys. I got some of my brothers hand-me-down DNA.

///

100 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:12:09pm

re: #90 Backwoods_Sleuth

Our food, apparently, contains DNA and we should be very very afraid…

I’m more afraid of food that doesn’t have DNA.

101 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:12:23pm

re: #99 ObserverArt

I was the youngest of four boys. I got some of my brothers hand-me-down DNA.

///

That’s illegal here in Alabama.

102 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:13:28pm

Rock sammich anyone?

103 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:13:53pm

re: #100 b_sharp

I’m more afraid of food that doesn’t have DNA.

Salt, and broccoli.

104 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:15:32pm

re: #103 Decatur Deb

Salt, and broccoli.

I like salt.

105 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 2:16:05pm

re: #102 b_sharp

Rock sammich anyone?

Slice it thin enough, and lots of mustard…let it soak overnight.

106 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 2:16:34pm

re: #102 b_sharp

Rock sammich anyone?

crunchie granola taken to an extreme level…

107 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:17:21pm

Speaking of DNA, the junior fishspawn has awakened and I suppose I must go and retrieve her.

108 Hercules Grytpype-Thynneghazi  Jan 17, 2015 2:20:10pm

re: #92 Charles Johnson

It’s been around for a long time. Here’s a post at Something Awful about it:

somethingawful.com

First I’ve seen it. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

109 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:20:39pm

re: #83 Charles Johnson

Page 4. Good that they asked this question. Shows that population should not be listened to on issues like this.

110 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 2:21:02pm

re: #104 b_sharp

I like salt.

I like broccoli, even if it does have ebil DNA…

111 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:23:00pm

re: #110 Backwoods_Sleuth

I like broccoli, even if it does have ebil DNA…

Wouldn’t touch it with a 10ft limp pole.

112 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:23:35pm

re: #111 b_sharp

Wouldn’t touch it with a 10ft limp pole.

If it’s 10ft when it’s limp, I’m not sure I want to see it the other way.///

113 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:24:21pm

re: #112 thedopefishlives

If it’s 10ft when it’s limp, I’m not sure I want to see it the other way.///

(Un)luckily it’s always limp. /

114 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:25:46pm

re: #83 Charles Johnson

Dang it! Dead things have long been my favorite food. Sigh.

115 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:27:18pm

I just don’t like to find large chunks of DNA in my food, you know.

116 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:27:32pm

re: #115 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

I just don’t like to find large chunks of DNA in my food, you know.

Excuse me, waiter? There’s DNA in my soup.

117 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:28:02pm

re: #116 thedopefishlives

Excuse me, waiter? There’s DNA in my soup.

DNA I can handle, but RNA makes me sick.

118 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:28:32pm

re: #117 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

DNA I can handle, but RNA makes me sick.

Wait, I meant NRA.

119 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:29:18pm

re: #115 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

I just don’t like to find large chunks of DNA in my food, you know.

Waiter, I’d like the number 5. Hold the MSG and DNA.

120 Shiplord Kirel  Jan 17, 2015 2:30:15pm

It’s occurred to me that Republican greed, cruelty, and deceit are so egregious and so pervasive as to inspire a ferocious backlash as soon as a critical mass of Americans becomes fully aware of the facts. I could imagine us finding ourselves armpit deep in crazed Bolsheviks in 10 or 12 years.

This brings me to my next point: Market driven corporate control of the internet would be a powerful method of controlling and channeling the flow of information and therefore of mitigating this backlash. This would not require any kind of active censorship or monitoring, or any other conspiratorial intervention, just profit driven control doing what it does best, systematically excluding everyone who cannot or will not pay for access.

121 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 2:31:41pm

re: #115 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

I just don’t like to find large chunks of DNA in my food, you know.

I use my immersion blender.

Smooth baby!

122 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:31:55pm

re: #102 b_sharp

Rock sammich anyone?

Favorite snack food of the Dendi.

Liberation of Earth (in .pdf)

123 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:32:57pm

re: #119 A Cranky One

Waiter, I’d like the number 5. Hold the MSG and DNA.

It’s alright to put DNA in the food, but They should tell us.

124 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:33:13pm

re: #119 A Cranky One

Waiter, I’d like the number 5. Hold the MSG and DNA.

I’ll take a DNA Burger. Well done, please; I’d rather my DNA not moo when I stick my fork in it.

125 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:34:02pm

re: #123 Decatur Deb

It’s alright to put DNA in the food, but They should tell us.

We wouldn’t want to pollute our precioussssss fluids.

126 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:35:01pm

re: #125 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

We wouldn’t want to pollute our precioussssss fluids.

They should leave it up to the individual states to regulate DNA content.

127 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:35:06pm

We would eat hobbitses DNAs though, yesss.

128 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:35:45pm

re: #125 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

We wouldn’t want to pollute our precioussssss fluids.

Guess they’re going to have to go to Demolition Man style sexual intercourse. Exchange of bodily fluids? How primitive.

129 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 2:36:04pm

re: #123 Decatur Deb

It’s alright to put DNA in the food, but They should tell us.

Bah…just take a couple of antacid tablets. That will take care of it.

130 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:36:28pm

Fortunately, there’s no DNA in our soldiers’ MREs.

131 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:36:49pm

re: #130 Decatur Deb

Fortunately, there’s no DNA in our soldiers’ MREs.

There’s no ANYthing in our soldiers’ MREs.

132 Charles Johnson  Jan 17, 2015 2:37:20pm

Did you know DNA is actually made of ACID?

133 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:37:42pm

re: #132 Charles Johnson

Did you know DNA is actually made of ACID?

Duuuuude. That’s a pretty heavy trip, man.

134 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:38:04pm

re: #128 thedopefishlives

Guess they’re going to have to go to Demolition Man style sexual intercourse. Exchange of bodily fluids? How primitive.

imdb.com

135 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:39:02pm

re: #133 thedopefishlives

Duuuuude. That’s a pretty heavy trip, man.

Amino acid is the way to go man.

136 GlutenFreeJesus  Jan 17, 2015 2:39:12pm

re: #115 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

It’s not the taste, but the consistency I find objectionable.

137 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:39:34pm

re: #135 b_sharp

Amino acid is the way to go man.

I heard that’s just a gateway drug to the protein complexes.

138 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 2:39:58pm

re: #135 b_sharp

Amino acid is the way to go man.

Mix with a little carbon and Yum!

139 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:42:02pm

re: #135 b_sharp

Amino acid is the way to go man.

I really can’t take the brown acid.

140 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:42:25pm

Heck, it’s worse than DNA in food. Much worse.

What about THIS?

141 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:43:35pm

DNA is an invention of the godless evolutionists. No DNA - no evolution.

142 Shiplord Kirel  Jan 17, 2015 2:43:50pm

Hitler reportedly had large quantities of DNA in his body.

143 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 2:44:29pm

re: #142 Shiplord Kirel

Hitler reportedly had large quantities of DNA in his body.

That is why he went all mad and stuff.

144 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:44:39pm

re: #140 A Cranky One

Heck, it’s worse than DNA in food. Much worse.

What about THIS?

DNA AND vaccines?!

[Clutches pearls.]

145 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:45:02pm

re: #140 A Cranky One

Heck, it’s worse than DNA in food. Much worse.

What about THIS?

Big Pharma meets Big DNA. That’ll set them off.

146 blueraven  Jan 17, 2015 2:46:24pm

re: #145 Decatur Deb

Big Pharma meets Big DNA. That’ll set them off.

Add Big Hair and we hit the trifecta.

147 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 2:47:21pm

What does DNA stand for?

.
National Dyslexics Association

148 Shiplord Kirel  Jan 17, 2015 2:47:40pm

The ebola virus produces significant quantities of DNA. Travelers from Africa, Mexico, and the Middle East are reported to bring large quantities of DNA with them.

149 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:48:21pm

re: #142 Shiplord Kirel

Hitler reportedly had large quantities of DNA in his body.

Exactly. Who “discovered” DNA? Watson. A well-known racist Mendelist-Morganist. DNA is used by The Man to keep the working class down! Only Lysenko’s theory is the proletariat’s true weapon!

150 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:48:39pm

The GOP will lead us to a DNA-free world.

151 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:49:37pm

re: #146 blueraven

Add Big Hair and we hit the trifecta.

Resulting in the re-emergence of DISCO!

We’re doomed, doomed I say!

152 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:50:03pm

re: #149 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Exactly. Who “discovered” DNA? Watson. A well-known racist Mendelist-Morganist. DNA is used by The Man to keep the working class down! Only Lysenko’s theory is the proletarian’s true weapon!

If you keep cutting off dicks you eventually have a population without dicks. That is my mission.

153 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 2:52:34pm

re: #150 Decatur Deb

The GOP will lead us to a DNA-free world.

That’s what frightens me.

154 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 2:53:10pm

re: #152 Decatur Deb

If you keep cutting off dicks you eventually have a population without dicks. That is my mission.

To…cut off dicks?
/Runs

155 thedopefishlives  Jan 17, 2015 2:53:42pm

re: #150 Decatur Deb

The GOP will lead us to a DNA-free world.

They’ll also lead us to a people-free world, but we don’t talk about that.

156 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:54:20pm

Speaking of Disco, something a little different:

157 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 2:54:44pm

Took a break to make a DNA on whole wheat.

158 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD  Jan 17, 2015 2:54:51pm

re: #154 Varek Raith

To…cut off dicks?
/Runs

Hopefully that doesn’t give your cat any ideas, for there are worse fates than death, bwahahahahahaha!

159 Varek Raith  Jan 17, 2015 2:56:02pm

re: #158 Prof. Backpfeifengesicht, PhD

Hopefully that doesn’t give your cat any ideas, for there are worse fates than death, bwahahahahahaha!

I’m invoking Rule 63 on myself.
HA-HA!

160 A Cranky One  Jan 17, 2015 2:58:56pm

And then of course, there is this:

161 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 3:01:23pm

Don’t know if it’s been here, but Natick Labs is experimenting with replacing the MRE/T-Rat with 3D food printers.

defenseone.com

162 TedStriker  Jan 17, 2015 3:03:10pm

re: #132 Charles Johnson

Did you know DNA is actually made of ACID?

re: #133 thedopefishlives

Duuuuude. That’s a pretty heavy trip, man.

re: #139 Decatur Deb

I really can’t take the brown acid.

163 ObserverArt  Jan 17, 2015 3:03:47pm

re: #123 Decatur Deb

It’s alright to put DNA in the food, but They should tell us.

And the FDA can start to demand labeling. I think it is important that people know the percentage of DNA in their food. Serving size, portion of minimum daily requirement…

164 Decatur Deb  Jan 17, 2015 3:07:37pm

re: #162 TedStriker

[Embedded content]

Man, I could predict everything they were doing. Or I’ve seen it before. I don’t remember.

165 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 3:43:09pm

re: #164 Decatur Deb

Man, I could predict everything they were doing. Or I’ve seen it before. I don’t remember.

It’s the 60s all over again…it you remember it, you didn’t experience it…

166 b_sharp  Jan 17, 2015 4:03:23pm

re: #165 Backwoods_Sleuth

It’s the 60s all over again…it you remember it, you didn’t experience it…

I remember the ’60s. It’s the ’70s I can’t remember.

167 BeenHereAwhile  Jan 17, 2015 4:12:01pm

re: #132 Charles Johnson

Did you know DNA is actually made of ACID?

As Country Joe says, “there ain’t no such thing as bad acid”

168 Backwoods_Sleuth  Jan 17, 2015 4:13:57pm

re: #166 b_sharp

I remember the ’60s. It’s the ’70s I can’t remember.

Get off my lawn, young’un!


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