American Thinker Comes Up With the Craziest Obama-Iran Conspiracy Theory Yet

Great googly moogly!
Wingnuts • Views: 27,832

I know it’s only April, but I think we may already have the most insanely paranoid wingnut conspiracy of the year — because it’s difficult to imagine anything getting crazier than this one: Is Obama Arming Iran for a Secret Reason?

The link goes to American Thinker, and you may think you know what the “secret reason” is already (probably something to do with Obama being a secret Muslim commie, right?)… but trust me, you don’t.

I’ll let Thinker Jeannie DeAngelis explain the reasoning that leads her to conclude Obama is helping Iran get nuclear weapons … because a nuclear winter would put an instant stop to climate change!

Surely the president is well aware that U.S. government computer models predict that even a small nuclear war anywhere on the planet could trigger “unprecedented” global cooling. With global warming the culprit, cooling, however it’s accomplished, would provide a quick fix for the guy in need of a boost in the polls.

Sure, a small-scale nuclear war would cause global cooling, further reduction of the ozone layer, and harmful ultraviolet radiation. That, in turn, would usher in death, disease, and drought due to things like lack of rainfall.

But ultimately mass starvation and plague could deliver positive results, particularly for the growing problem of overpopulation. Then, in due time, as millions die off, the president’s credibility would be greatly improved among organizations concerned with controlling world population, like the U.N., and his legacy as a transformative leader would be secured.

If Iran lobbed a nuke at Israel, smoky, dusty, ashy high-carbon clouds would block the warmth of the sun. That, coupled with radioactive fallout, would usher in a “nuclear winter” capable of instantly stopping the destructive heating trend Obama so passionately believes is wreaking havoc in places like the Florida Everglades.

But most importantly, thanks to superb forethought and unprecedented planning, global warming would cease, and global cooling would commence.

Either way, for many — including the entire nation of Israel — the perplexing question for a long time has been: why is a U.S. president helping the Iranians acquire an atomic bomb? The thought of it didn’t seem to make much sense.

But now, the idea of a small-scale nuclear war being environmentally friendly could actually be a stroke of genius.

On Earth Day, at the edge of the swamplands, the motivation behind the former president of the Harvard Law Review negotiating with the Ayatollah may be falling into place. Could it be that Barack Obama’s long-term goal is to help Iran acquire the nukes necessary to finally put an end to global warming?

Some swivel-eyed loon out there in a survival bunker is going to have to work really hard to top this one.

(h/t: Shiplord Kirel.)

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Last updated: 2023-04-04 11:11 am PDT
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