Jeb Bush Would Totally Kill a Baby: “Hell Yeah!”

Caveat: only Baby Hitler though
Politics • Views: 52,271
Jeb Bush to-do list from his Iowa campaign office

America needed to know the answer to a burning question: Would Jeb Bush kill baby Hitler?

“Hell yeah, I would!” the former Florida governor told HuffPost. “You gotta step up, man.”

[…]

Bush did acknowledge that murdering the future German dictator before he had the chance to ignite World War II would be an act that could set in motion unknown consequences.

But the 2016 Republican presidential candidate remained emphatic that he would, in fact, kill Hitler — even if the future leader of the Third Reich were an especially cute baby.

“It could have a dangerous effect on everything else, but I’d do it — I mean, Hitler,” Bush said with a shrug.

OK. But where do the other candidates stand on this vitally important issue?

And even more to the point, would they go back in time to give Hitler’s mother an abortion?

Jump to bottom

381 comments
1
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:56:16pm
2
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:56:39pm

Yeah, I know I just can’t vote for a candidate who voices anything but support for going back and killing Hitler as a baby. I need to know I can trust a candidate to create a temporal paradox on his first day in office.

3
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:57:11pm

is this the first episode of Magnavox Kill Baby Hitler Theater of the Air?

4
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:57:17pm

Can we remind the GOP that it took a Commie and a Democrat to beat a grown up Hitler?

5
lawhawk  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:57:19pm

Wait. Wut?

That’s not what the Kobiyashi Maru scenario is. Killing Hitler isn’t a no-win scenario. Someone wins in that scenario (assuming you can get around the paradox of killing someone who hasn’t done anything - genocide - at that point to merit killing in the first place so there’d be no history on which to go back in time to act upon to kill).

So, apparently these pro-life folks chiming in like Jeb! have some lines that can be crossed. Not so pro life after all, because if there’s some people that can be killed in those situations, then you’re not so much pro-life as being anti-choice and pro-birth.

6
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:57:51pm

It does seems like an odd way to come out as pro-choice.

7
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:58:38pm

He might kill a baby Hitler but he’d still do Iraq again.

8
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:58:51pm

It’s no surprise that Jeb Bush would murder baby Hitler. The more important question: Would Jeb Bush abort “baby” Hitler?

9
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:59:21pm

A baby Hitler would kick Jeb’s ass.

10
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:59:26pm
11
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:59:26pm

But why isn’t anybody asking the really big question: Why hasn’t The Doctor gone back and killed Hitler?

//

12
Emoprog Refugee  Nov 9, 2015 • 12:59:48pm

…

Ok, I think I need to read the article. Who asks such questions, and having been asked, who the hell answers like that? (yeah, I know, Jeb! does)

But the 2016 Republican presidential candidate remained emphatic that he would, in fact, kill Hitler — even if the future leader of the Third Reich were an especially cute baby.

For reals?
These Repub candidates give me a headache from shaking my head and rolling my eyes and furrowing my brow so much.

13
It's on his hat!  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:00:03pm

re: #11 Targetpractice

But why isn’t anybody asking the really big question: Why hasn’t The Doctor gone back and killed Hitler?

//

Who?

14
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:00:26pm

I read in Ben Carson’s book that he actually did go back in time and kill baby Hitler.

15
lawhawk  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:00:32pm

re: #11 Targetpractice

But why isn’t anybody asking the really big question: Why hasn’t The Doctor gone back and killed Hitler?

//

Fixed points in time. But you can punch the heck out of him and lock him up in a closet…

The rest? That’s spoilers…

16
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:01:27pm

The problem with killing baby Hitler (which should be obvious) is that baby Schickelgruber is traumatized and grows up to avenge baby Hitler by becoming Hitler.

17
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:02:02pm

Kill Hitler as a youth…

…in the alternate reality that follows Russia gets the Bomb before the U.S. or any of its European allies. Two bombs are dropped, one on Los Angeles, the other on New York causing several MILLION casualties. Stalin becomes the Supreme Dictator of Europe. World War II becomes a much longer and bloodier conflict. The Cold War ends up being not so cold as Castro aligns with Iranian and covert Russian interests to further launch strikes against Western interests. Millions more die.

Later, the U.S. completely fails to properly deal with the threat presented by one Saddam Hussein. The Gulf War ends differently with Iraq driving allied forces out of Kuwait and promptly gassing thousands of Kuwaitis once they are in control.

I love sci-fi/alternate reality “what ifs”. In this case though I don’t know. I can’t help but remember the Family Guy episode where Brian goes back in time and stops 9/11, only to have things get WAY worse, causing them to go back in time AGAIN to make 9/11 happen.

18
Eventual Carrion  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:02:31pm

re: #13 It’s on his hat!

Who?

Yes

19
William Lewis  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:02:45pm

re: #11 Targetpractice

But why isn’t anybody asking the really big question: Why hasn’t The Doctor gone back and killed Hitler?

//

Fixed moment In Time is the usual excuse.

20
Emoprog Refugee  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:03:58pm

re: #12 Emoprog Refugee

Jayzus. It didn’t help to read the article. He really is that flippant and nonchalant about possibly killing a baby.

Hell yeah, I would!” the former Florida governor current GOP Presidential candidate told HuffPost. “You gotta step up, man.”

Unbelievable.

21
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:05:21pm

re: #10 Kragar

Movie Idea: Grimdark Steampunk world where the Hitler parents have to defend Baby Hitler from time traveling assassins

im optioning it - i especially like the scene where the catholic nuns in the tiny town of braunau am inn disarm and jail the first baby murdering time traveler sent back and they have to send baby jeb back in time to free him

22
b_sharp  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:06:16pm

Pro-life?

23
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:06:30pm

If Ted Cruz gets elected I am so refugeeing to Canada.

24
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:07:15pm

Yeah I am sure Alois and Klara especially aren’t to take too kindly to some weird English speaking person claiming to be a time traveler “Sorry, I have to do this.” But maybe then we’d see photos of Jeb in a 19th century Austro-Hungarian loony bin much like we saw Jack Torrence in the photo at the end of the Shining.

25
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:07:40pm
26
Jenner7  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:08:02pm
27
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:08:18pm
28
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:08:42pm

re: #22 b_sharp

Pro-life?

Pro-birth. After that, all bets are off.

29
Emoprog Refugee  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:08:52pm

He’s indicating that he has zero belief in nurture, that it is 100% nature.

I mean, why kill baby Hitler? Why not just raise him differently?

How does he square this with the whole, lack of fathers and too many food-stamps make people animals rhetoric the GOP loves to spout?

30
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:09:15pm

re: #25 wrenchwench

[Embedded content]

Jefferson Davis?

Like the Confederacy wouldn’t exist without him? Or had a more competent President?

I don’t get it?

31
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:10:05pm
32
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:10:22pm

re: #25 wrenchwench

[Embedded content]

I’d like to see that asked too if we’re going to be asked stupid questions. After all Davis’s actions started a war that actually killed more Americans than Hitler did.

33
GlutenFreeJesus  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:10:47pm

What if killing baby Hitler ushers in an even worse era with a Trump as ruler?

34
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:15pm

re: #30 b.d.

Jefferson Davis?

Like the Confederacy wouldn’t exist without him? Or had a more competent President?

I don’t get it?

Are we sure the death of baby Hitler changes anything?

35
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:17pm

I wish I could photoshop Jeb Bush into this…

36
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:20pm

re: #26 Jenner7

That is exactly how Bevin got elected.
None of this conspiracy theory crap about how the GOP flipped votes on the machines.
Too many people like Mr. Blackburn voted and too many others couldn’t be bothered.

37
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:24pm

“this is the first entry tagged Baby Hitler”

Hopefully the last!

38
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:34pm

I would totally go back in time and kill the person who though up this baby Hitler question.

39
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:51pm

re: #33 GlutenFreeJesus

What if killing baby Hitler ushers in an even worse era with a Trump as ruler?

The fact that Trump is even a serious candidate proves that we are in the alternative BTTF timeline where Biff got the sports almanac.

40
Belafon  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:11:55pm

And what if we created “Hitler” by going back in time to kill him?

41
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:12:48pm

re: #31 The Vicious Babushka

42
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:12:54pm

re: #34 wrenchwench

Are we sure the death of baby Hitler changes anything?

It bears saying that Hitler did NOT found what became the Nazi Party. But really if we must time travel, we should go to Versailes and convince the Allies that punishing Germany too hard is a bad idea. There ya go. No infanticide and no environment of resentment over Versailes for far right groups like the Nazis to thrive in.

43
Belafon  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:13:04pm

re: #35 Eclectic Cyborg

I wish I could photoshop Jeb Bush into this…

[Embedded content]

I like that movie.

44
Big Beautiful Door  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:13:17pm

re: #17 Eclectic Cyborg

Kill Hitler as a youth…

…in the alternate reality that follows Russia gets the Bomb before the U.S. or any of its European allies. Two bombs are dropped, one on Los Angeles, the other on New York causing several MILLION casualties. Stalin becomes the Supreme Dictator of Europe. World War II becomes a much longer and bloodier conflict. The Cold War ends up being not so cold as Castro aligns with Iranian and covert Russian interests to further launch strikes against Western interests. Millions more die.

Later, the U.S. completely fails to properly deal with the threat presented by one Saddam Hussein. The Gulf War ends differently with Iraq driving allied forces out of Kuwait and promptly gassing thousands of Kuwaitis once they are in control.

I love sci-fi/alternate reality “what ifs”. In this case though I don’t know. I can’t help but remember the Family Guy episode where Brian goes back in time and stops 9/11, only to have things get WAY worse, causing them to go back in time AGAIN to make 9/11 happen.

Stephen King explored these issues in his novel 11/22/63, which is being made into a miniseries for Hulu next year.

45
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:14:03pm

re: #40 Belafon

And what if we created “Hitler” by going back in time to kill him?

It’s true. He had a brother too. Who knows, you kill Adolf and brother Edmund doesn’t get measles and die and he becomes Hitler. The question isn’t whether you would go back and time Hitler, it’s whether you would kill a 19th century Austrian child.

46
Big Beautiful Door  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:14:34pm

re: #20 Emoprog Refugee

Jayzus. It didn’t help to read the article. He really is that flippant and nonchalant about possibly killing a baby.

Unbelievable.

Well since its impossible I’m sure he didn’t take it seriously; I don’t.

47
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:14:40pm

re: #29 Emoprog Refugee

He’s indicating that he has zero belief in nurture, that it is 100% nature.

I mean, why kill baby Hitler? Why not just raise him differently?

How does he square this with the whole, lack of fathers and too many food-stamps make people animals rhetoric the GOP loves to spout?

Indeed, why not help young adult Hitler get into the Vienna Academy for Fine Arts? Allow him to pursue the career he wanted as a painter. Perhaps even encouraged him to travel outside Europe to seek out other opportunities?

48
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:15:04pm

re: #40 Belafon

And what if we created “Hitler” by going back in time to kill him?

49
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:15:22pm

More poignantly, the entire premise of such an action ignores reality, which was:

1) Europeans were quite capable of getting into a continental scale war without a specific person called “Adolph Hitler”, and
2) Violent antisemitism existed in Europe quite independently of an individual called “Adolph Hitler”.

Adolph Hitler is in some ways a scapegoat for a much wider and darker guilt.

50
Big Beautiful Door  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:02pm

re: #25 wrenchwench

[Embedded content]

No, if the Confederacy had a better President they might have won the war.

51
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:11pm
52
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:13pm

I would go back in time and kill the new upgraded version of DailyKos.

//

53
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:24pm

re: #23 The Vicious Babushka

If Ted Cruz gets elected I am so refugeeing to Canada.

[Embedded content]

Jeez, Justin. Holy smokin’ hotness. Wowza!

Wait. Ok, I am back now.

54
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:47pm

re: #52 b.d.

I would go back in time and kill the new upgraded version of DailyKos.

//

Kill the new upgraded version of Wonkette while you’re at it.
//

55
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:16:57pm

If you go back in time and kill Hitler, it means you would have grown up in a world where there was no reason for you to want to go back in time to kill Hitler.

And we’re done here.

56
Single-handed sailor  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:17:04pm

First rule of time travel, “Don’t step on butterflies.”

57
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:18:09pm

A lot of people didn’t like it but I liked the Butterfly Effect.

58
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:20:41pm

So the hard hitting newsiness today is Baby Hitler and Starbucks cups.

Good to know our media is asking the hard hitting questions.

59
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:21:42pm

re: #58 WhatEVs

So the hard hitting newsiness today is Baby Hitler and Starbucks cups.

Good to know our media is asking the hard hitting questions.

So I think the real question is would you kill Baby Hitler with scolding hot coffee from a red Starbucks coffee cup or would you use Ben Carson’s clawhammer?

60
Big Beautiful Door  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:22:42pm

The person to kill in the Confederacy is Stonewall Jackson; maybe he was shot at Chancellorsville by a time traveler to prevent a Confederate victory at Gettysburg!

61
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:22:46pm

re: #59 HappyWarrior

So I think the real question is would you kill Baby Hitler with scolding hot coffee from a red Starbucks coffee cup or would you use Ben Carson’s clawhammer?

Can we just use the Fallout special gun to nuke em all?

62
Lidane  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:23:10pm

re: #11 Targetpractice

But why isn’t anybody asking the really big question: Why hasn’t The Doctor gone back and killed Hitler?

//

Fixed point in time.

63
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:23:18pm

re: #61 WhatEVs

Can we just use the Fallout special gun to nuke em all?

Only if I get my MGS stealth camo to sneak around undetected.

64
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:23:28pm

re: #54 The Vicious Babushka

Kill the new upgraded version of Wonkette while you’re at it.
//

I would like to add to the list of things to kill: Godfather III, Star Wars I to III, the late 70s/early 80s 4 cylinder Mustang, AOL, and Goober Stripes.

65
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:23:56pm

What if Hitler was just the latest in a long line of genocidal dictators, all of whom have been killed by time travelers?

66
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:24:51pm

Oh…and Adobe Flash….I would so kill that.

67
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:25:59pm

re: #61 WhatEVs

Can we just use the Fallout special gun to nuke em all?

68
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:26:04pm
69
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:26:28pm

A mysterious stranger speaking only English has been spotted in Linz, Tiflis, and Shaoshan at various points of the late 19th century. Do not let him see your infant children.

70
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:26:46pm

re: #68 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Now that’s actually a difficult question .//

71
Belafon  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:28:34pm

re: #68 Charles Johnson

What if Nickelback was just the latest in a long line of cheesy bands, all of whom have been killed by time travelers?

72
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:28:48pm

I’m a Republican presidential candidate from the future and I’m here to protect you, kill your infant son.

73
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:29:44pm

[…]

Of the five sets of Siamese twins, or 10 individuals, which Carson surgically attempted to separate, five people died and two were institutionalized with serious neurological damage. According to the New York Times, those results are not anymore stellar than the results dating back to the 1920s. In The Times report on the Bijani adult twins, writers Wayne Arnold and Denise Grady report the following:

“Similar operations have been reported on 30 to 40 sets of infants and young children since the 1920’s, but the death rate has been high, about 50 percent, and many survivors have suffered brain damage.”

New York Times OpEd columnist Charles M. Blow writes in today’s print edition that “Carson may no longer be a practicing physician, but he is a full-time profiteer, selling his story in books and speeches and paid handsomely to do so. Good work, if you can get it…Media observers seem to me too focused on Ben Carson the candidate. I remain focused on Ben Carson the enterprise, and apparently, so is he.”

74
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:30:34pm

I would go back in time and kill auto tune.

75
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:31:22pm

Posted for no other reason than to evoke a visceral response:

Did it work?

76
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:32:53pm

I’d go back time to Benghazi and just shout it at Ambassador Stevens knowing that shouting it would stop the attack.

77
iossarian  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:33:37pm

Ha. A propos nothing, I just noticed that Wonkette has a mini-banner above the paid referral content that says “Oh look, sex”.

78
lockjawcanbefun  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:33:41pm

re: #75 Dr. Matt

Should’ve used Bieber instead.

79
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:33:59pm

re: #75 Dr. Matt

80
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:34:52pm
81
Fourth Football of the Apocalypse  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:35:10pm

But would Jeb! have allowed Hitler’s mother to abort Baby Hitler?

82
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:36:43pm

re: #80 wrenchwench

[Embedded content]

That was quick.

83
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:38:55pm

Why not go back and time and draw a sharpie dick on Hitler’s face while Hitler is asleep. That way when he’s giving a speech, he has a penis on his face and he is ridiculed and never returns to Germany again and spends his last days in Austria as a lonely hermit.

84
Fourth Football of the Apocalypse  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:39:07pm

re: #80 wrenchwench

Hadn’t realized things had gotten that bad in the Great White North

85
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:39:29pm
86
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:41:44pm
87
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:42:04pm
88
Blind Frog Belly White  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:42:55pm

re: #75 Dr. Matt

Posted for no other reason than to evoke a visceral response:

Embedded Image

Did it work?

Who has two thumbs and doesn’t care what we think?

89
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:43:06pm

re: #71 Belafon

What if Nickelback was just the latest in a long line of cheesy bands, all of whom have been killed by time travelers?

What if Nickelback was selected to survive, because it was better than all the other cheesy bands that were killed by time travelers?

RBS

90
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:43:29pm

The “mainstream”, “moderate” Republican candidate is a fucking abomination from the plutonium pits of Yuggoth.

91
Barefoot Grin  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:43:46pm

re: #75 Dr. Matt

Posted for no other reason than to evoke a visceral response:

Embedded Image

Did it work?

That smile sounds like he’s shouting.

92
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:44:06pm

What if adult Hitler traveled back and time killed Baby Jeb?

93
Jay C  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:44:44pm

re: #84 Fourth Football of the Apocalypse

Hadn’t realized things had gotten that bad in the Great White North

IIRC, that (obsessive control of any governmental “message”) was also a hallmark of Harper’s regime: fixing Canada’s dysfunctional science policies may be an easy fix, but at least Trudeau is getting out in front early on…

94
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:45:27pm

re: #90 Nyet

The “mainstream”, “moderate” Republican candidate is a fucking abomination from the plutonium pits of Yuggoth.

He is even stupider than his older brother, something we did not even think was possible.

95
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:45:42pm

re: #92 HappyWarrior

What if adult Hitler traveled back and time killed Baby Jeb?

You asked for it, HW.

KUNG FURY Official Movie [HD]

96
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:45:55pm

re: #84 Fourth Football of the Apocalypse

Hadn’t realized things had gotten that bad in the Great White North

Neither had I. Good luck to Trudeau. From what I’ve heard about Harper, he’ll have his hands full cleaning up but I also think that his opposition hopefully won’t be as insane as Obama’s is.

97
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:46:29pm

re: #94 The Vicious Babushka

He is even stupider than his older brother, something we did not even think was possible.

He really is and I never though I’d say that,

98
Blind Frog Belly White  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:47:14pm

I read once the hypothesis that if time travel is ever invented, successive time travelers would eventually stop it being invented, and that this would happen every time time travel is invented.

99
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:47:21pm

re: #95 Nyet

You asked for it, HW.

[Embedded content]

Never saw that but the title makes it sound like one of those things I’d watch with a nice buzz.

100
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:47:37pm

re: #96 HappyWarrior

Trudeau is an improvement over Harper. Almost anything is an improvement over Harper. I am a bit skeptical about Trudeau though. E.g. he has withdrawn from bombing ISIS…

101
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:47:51pm

What if Baby Hitler was the only one who knew how the time machine worked?

102
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:48:04pm

re: #99 HappyWarrior

DROP EVERYTHING AND WATCH IT NOW.

103
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:48:25pm

re: #98 Blind Frog Belly White

I read once the hypothesis that if time travel is ever invented, successive time travelers would eventually stop it being invented, and that this would happen every time time travel is invented.

If time travel was possible wouldn’t we know about it by now from the swarms of time tourists?

104
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:48:40pm

re: #102 Nyet

DROP EVERYTHING AND WATCH IT NOW.

Still at work.

105
Bear  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:49:03pm

re: #64 Dr. Matt

Windows 8

106
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:49:08pm

re: #104 HappyWarrior

Still at work.

That’s a good answer, IYKWIM. :)

107
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:49:28pm

re: #103 The Vicious Babushka

If time travel was possible wouldn’t we know about it by now from the swarms of time tourists?

What the guy wearing crocs at the Nuremberg Rally wasn’t enough for you? //

108
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:49:33pm

SHOCKA!

Jeb Actual Shickelgruber Child!!! - Horrifying Future For U.S. Averted When Sociapathic Racist Meglomaniac Spawn Of American Bush Family Swapped With Random 19th Century Austrian Child!!!

109
iossarian  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:50:40pm

OK, I think I’ve got this all figured out…

At an early age, Jeb Bush was exposed to time-traveling Nickelback music being played through a wormhole. This warped his soul so that when he grew up he became a deeply stupid and socially regressive governor of Florida. Inexplicably, people referred to him as a “policy wonk” and “the smart Bush” despite his simple-minded trust in discredited right-wing economic theory (aka “secret nutsauce”).

After several years of this, Jeb? (his moniker now having acquired a gnomic question mark) traveled back in time to thwart Hitler (because Hitler = evil, OK?). However he mis-dialed his dimensional target and instead was transported to Rosicrucean times, where he trained in the art of broadsword combat, in exchange for teaching the monks about trickle-down economics.

Unfortunately this led directly to the Spanish conquest of South America and the consequent collapse in the price of silver. Hitler’s central European ancestors, having hitherto been prosperous silver merchants, were forced into lives of petty criminality, ultimately leading to the birth of the greatest genocidal monster the world has ever known, other than Henry Kissinger.

The rest, as they say, is history.

110
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:50:50pm

re: #108 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

SHOCKA!

Jeb Actual Shickelgruber Child!!! - Horrifying Future For U.S. Averted When Sociapathic Racist Meglomaniac Spawn Of American Bush Family Swapped With Random 19th Century Austrian Child!!!

What I want to see is Jeb in Bramau or Linz trying to find the Hitler residence.

111
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:50:52pm

You can’t kill Hitler for the simple reason that you haven’t already killed him.

112
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:51:32pm

re: #107 HappyWarrior

What the guy wearing crocs at the Nuremberg Rally wasn’t enough for you? //

I still haven’t spotted the guy with the selfie stick at the Gettysburg Address.

113
mr.fusion  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:51:52pm

If you were out to dinner with the Hitler’s, would you go to the bathroom when the check came?

If you were watching TV with Hitler and he got up to get a drink, would you take the controller from him?

If Hitler had spinach in his teeth, would you tell him or would you let him walk around not knowing?

THESE are the types of questions the American people need to know the answer to.

114
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:52:12pm

re: #111 Nyet

You can’t kill Hitler for the simple reason that you haven’t already killed him.

Maybe the time traveler only made it as far as the bunker in Berlin.

115
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:52:33pm

re: #112 The Vicious Babushka

I still haven’t spotted the guy with the selfie stick at the Gettysburg Address.

or the tweets from Verdun. #ChargingatamachinegunYOLO.

116
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:53:09pm

re: #113 mr.fusion

If you were out to dinner with the Hitler’s, would you go to the bathroom when the check came?

If you were watching TV with Hitler and he got up to get a drink, would you take the controller from him?

If Hitler had spinach in his teeth, would you tell him or would you let him walk around not knowing?

THESE are the types of questions the American people need to know the answer to.

Would you recommend Breaking Bad to Hitler? Everyone says it’s great. //

117
iossarian  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:54:52pm

re: #116 HappyWarrior

Would you recommend Breaking Bad to Hitler? Everyone says it’s great. //

Would you mention to Hitler that House of Cards goes to shit after the first series, and is in any case inferior to the original UK version?

118
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:55:30pm

re: #117 iossarian

Would you mention to Hitler that House of Cards goes to shit after the first series, and is in any case inferior to the original UK version?

Given Hitler’s anglophobia, I’m sure he’d be angry there wasn’t a German version.

119
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:55:53pm

Would you tell Hitler that he’s a punchline?

120
GlutenFreeJesus  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:56:38pm

For all this time travel to kill Hitler talk, everyone needs to watch the Auatralian series called Danger 5. It’s hilarious in so many ways.

121
iossarian  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:58:14pm

re: #118 HappyWarrior

Given Hitler’s anglophobia, I’m sure he’d be angry there wasn’t a German version.

A month ago I would have thought that German House of Cards would be super dull and all about politicians scheming to make the trains run on time. But now I see it could actually be quite gripping, what with fabricated vehicle emissions data and KORRUPTION ZAT GOES ALL ZE VAY TO ZE TOP

122
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:58:15pm

Would Hitler vote for Pedro?

123
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 1:59:16pm

re: #121 iossarian

A month ago I would have thought that German House of Cards would be super dull and all about politicians scheming to make the trains run on time. But now I see it could actually be quite gripping, what with fabricated vehicle emissions data and KORRUPTION ZAT GOES ALL ZE VAY TO ZE TOP

Everything is always more sinister in German or with a German accent.*
* Trust me, I’m part German

124
Barefoot Grin  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:01:51pm

Bauhaus of Cards. Wait, that doesn’t work, does it. The Nazis hated bauhaus. Oh well.

125
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:02:09pm

re: #123 HappyWarrior

Everything is always more sinister in German or with a German accent.*
* Trust me, I’m part German

Tool’s “The Eggs of Satan” proves this conclusively

126
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:02:12pm

I dunno. I just imagine the situation being really strange. After trying and trying (Jeb didn’t say he’d bring a long a German translator), he finally finds the Hitler residence. But he has to contend with Adi’s parents. Hitler’s old man Alois was a mean drunk and Adolf during Hitler’s infancy was his mother’s only child. Maybe Jeb would use that charm to tell them that he was a visiting salesman that likes to check up on random children and that he’s been all over the world.

127
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:02:56pm

re: #123 HappyWarrior

Get Christopher Lee to read the ingredients on a loaf of bread.

128
iossarian  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:03:07pm

Schlubby Round-Shouldered Policy Wonk Sought In Bavaria Child Murder Case

129
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:03:17pm

re: #125 Kragar

Tool’s “The Eggs of Satan” proves this conclusively

I actually got an email from Germany since I’m trying to find traces of family there. A very polite letter but it just sounds so harsh reading it.

130
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:03:26pm

Speaking of which, acc. to a new “tell all” book Putin intently watches House of Cards and Boss and recommends them to his underlings, like Shoigu, to prove that the Western politicians are nothing but cynical bastards who only use “human rights” etc. as a means, nothing else.

131
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:04:57pm

re: #128 iossarian

Schlubby Round-Shouldered Policy Wonk Sought In Bavaria Child Murder Case

Hahahaha it would be Austrian but yes. And then officials from Georgia and Italy would say a simliar man was spotted in their towns before. Something about a Dzhugashvili child and a Mussolini one.

132
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:05:27pm

As for killing kids, just today I read King’s story Bad Little Kid from his new Bazaar of Bad Dreams collection. Recommended.

133
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:06:26pm

A guy in my office came over to talk about Games of Thrones and I couldn’t even feign a cursory interest. Seriously, I read the first three books and gave up on it before the TV show even started.

134
dholmes32  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:08:46pm

Someone asked on the last topic if there was a video of scheming lunatic Joshua Feuerstein on CNN. Here you go:

Some Dude Josh Feuerstein Goes Full Bonkers on CNN over Starbucks Cups

He lives near me. I hope to God I never run into him, because he has a bad habit of brandishing a gun.

135
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:09:11pm

Actually the funniest thing that could happen in Jeb’s infant time traveling expedition is to encounter a Neo-Nazi time traveler sent to protect Baby Hitler ala Arnold in Terminator 2.

136
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:09:43pm

re: #134 dholmes32

Someone asked on the last topic if there was a video of scheming lunatic Joshua Feuerstein on CNN. Here you go:

[Embedded content]

He lives near me. I hope to God I never run into him, because he has a bad habit of brandishing a gun.

People like that shouldn’t be armed.

137
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:10:01pm

You can’t change history without erasing (=murdering) billions of people. Which makes you much worse than Hitler.

138
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:10:11pm

re: #92 HappyWarrior

What if adult Hitler traveled back and time killed Baby Jeb?

I think Jeb should worry if Barbara Bush learned to time-travel.

139
Kid A  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:12:51pm

I’d like to go back to the 80s and kill baby “Ishtar.”

140
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:13:39pm

Baby Beeber, anyone? /////

141
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:14:06pm

This is for Josh:

142
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:14:08pm
143
Tigger2  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:17:01pm

re: #134 dholmes32

Someone asked on the last topic if there was a video of scheming lunatic Joshua Feuerstein on CNN. Here you go:

[Embedded content]

Video

He lives near me. I hope to God I never run into him, because he has a bad habit of brandishing a gun.

The red cup is making me angry because I’m a big fucking idiot.

144
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:18:44pm

Do these knuckleheads realize that the “silent majority” is silent because it doesn’t care?

145
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:19:29pm
146
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:19:36pm

re: #143 Tigger2

The red cup is making me angry because I’m a big fucking idiot.

All he can see is red.

147
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:20:26pm

re: #134 dholmes32

Someone asked on the last topic if there was a video of scheming lunatic Joshua Feuerstein on CNN. Here you go:

[Embedded content]

He lives near me. I hope to God I never run into him, because he has a bad habit of brandishing a gun.

Also, there’s this article:
Evangelical Christian Joshua Feuerstein explains his war on Starbucks red cups

148
Tigger2  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:20:57pm

LOL That guy in the video thinks Obama is a secret Muslim.

149
jaunte  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:21:24pm

re: #35 Eclectic Cyborg

I wish I could photoshop Jeb Bush into this…

[Embedded content]

150
Dr. Matt  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:21:58pm
Killing #BabyHilter: One Man’s Story
151
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:22:19pm

Besides, we already know what would happen if Hitler were removed from the timeline, Einstein did it in an alternate timeline where WWII involved a Soviet invasion of Europe followed by a war against the Allied Powers, with both sides using weapons designed by Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein respectively. Then, when the USSR lost, Kane assassinated Stalin so as to pave the way for the creation of the Brotherhood of Nod.

/(Gamer moment)

152
Lidane  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:23:31pm
153
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:25:37pm

re: #96 HappyWarrior

Neither had I. Good luck to Trudeau. From what I’ve heard about Harper, he’ll have his hands full cleaning up but I also think that his opposition hopefully won’t be as insane as Obama’s is.

Trudeau has a majority. The opposition can screech all they want but it won’t accomplish much.

154
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:25:55pm

re: #149 jaunte

Embedded Image

Ha ha, YES!!! Thank you sir, I am in your debt for that one.

155
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:26:24pm

re: #153 Eclectic Cyborg

Trudeau has a majority. The opposition can screech all they want but it won’t accomplish much.

Well Obama did too when he was first elected but I like to think that Canada won’t have a TP backlash based on kneejerk bullshit.

156
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:28:45pm

re: #152 Lidane

[Embedded content]

A lot of these first time candidates for anything are just so sensitive to criticism it’s not even funny anymore.

157
Skip Intro  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:29:14pm
158
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:29:51pm

re: #155 HappyWarrior

Well Obama did too when he was first elected but I like to think that Canada won’t have a TP backlash based on kneejerk bullshit.

I’d highly doubt it. We have too high a percentage of sane people for that. Then again, we did elect Harper like four times in a row…

159
Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:29:57pm

The Godwin corollary of 2015: Whenever candidates consider it necessary to distract voters from one’s own pathetic lack of electability, the odds soon approach 1:1 that they will mention killing baby Hitler.

160
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:31:23pm

re: #134 dholmes32

Someone asked on the last topic if there was a video of scheming lunatic Joshua Feuerstein on CNN. Here you go:

[Embedded content]

Video

He lives near me. I hope to God I never run into him, because he has a bad habit of brandishing a gun.

Scottsdale, Arizona. Of course.

161
dholmes32  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:32:05pm

re: #145 wrenchwench

[Embedded content]

My sister, who is a technology manager for a medical supplies manufacturer and supplier, lives in a Houston suburb and has chickens. Hers are mostly for egg-laying.

Interestingly, my sister just called…

162
Lidane  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:32:31pm

Currently trending on Twitter: #PickUpLinesForRepublicans

Lots of terrible tweets, but some amusing stuff in there too:

163
Skip Intro  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:33:15pm

#BenCarsonsHouse

164
Kid A  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:33:22pm

Starbucks cups, for fuck’s sake? These Christians have waaaaaay too much time on their hands.

165
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:33:47pm

*sigh* Damnit Bethesda, why must you tempt me so? Because of the reviewer codes that got let out a couple days ago, my Youtube feed’s now flooded with Let’s Plays of a game I can’t lay my hands on for another six and a half hours.

166
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:35:03pm

Heh.

167
Lidane  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:35:29pm

re: #165 Targetpractice

*sigh* Damnit Bethesda, why must you tempt me so? Because of the reviewer codes that got let out a couple days ago, my Youtube feed’s now flooded with Let’s Plays of a game I can’t lay my hands on for another six and a half hours.

Go stock up on Nuka-Cola while you wait:

168
Jenner7  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:36:24pm

I was listening to Sean Hannity and he denies there is systemic racism and that even the southern states, there just isn’t that much racism.

I think if they admitted the existence of systemic racism, they’d then have to admit it comes mostly from their party.

169
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:36:24pm

re: #167 Lidane

Go stock up on Nuka-Cola while you wait:

[Embedded content]

Yummy, radioactive goodness.

170
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:36:39pm

re: #167 Lidane

I’ll be swinging by Target on the way home

171
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:37:17pm

‘Sad’ news from Arizona:

Arizona lawmakers who hoped to build miles of fencing along the border with Mexico using private money are pulling the plug on the project after nearly five years.

Republican backers of the 2011 legislation hoped to collect as much as $50 million in donations to build the fence. About $265,000 was collected.

[…]

The plan championed by Rep. Steve Smith originally called for collecting as much as $50 million to build a 15-foot fence at busy, yet-to-be-determined border-crossing points then erecting fences along miles of the state’s 375-mile border that have no federal fences.

The effort began during the height of Arizona’s battle against illegal immigration, before a backlash that left the GOP-led Legislature with no more appetite for measures targeting immigration.

Donations dried up less than six months after the state launched a website in 2011 to collect money for the project. The estimated $265,000 raised is well short of the $2.8 million needed to build the first mile of fencing.

[…]

The committee, which includes lawmakers, sheriff’s and state department heads, has expressed interest in allocating the money to sheriffs toward border-security efforts.

One of whom already said, ‘No thanks.’

172
Kid A  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:37:52pm
173
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:39:21pm

re: #171 wrenchwench

‘Sad’ news from Arizona:

One of whom already said, ‘No thanks.’

Much like the “Secure Fence Act of ‘06,” Republicans talk a good deal about the need for fencing, then suddenly can’t find the money to actually build it.

174
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:41:32pm

re: #168 Jenner7

I was listening to Sean Hannity and he denies there is systemic racism and that even the southern states, there just isn’t that much racism.

I used to largely think the same. Then I lived in the South for awhile. Now I know better.

175
makeitstop  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:42:07pm

re: #89 Reality Based Steve

What if Nickelback was selected to survive, because it was better than all the other cheesy bands that were killed by time travelers?

RBS

The time travelers apparently missed Puddle of Mudd.

(I was going to start that sentence with ‘The killers,’ bt I didn’t want anyone thinking that the band The Killers was going arond killing cheesy bands.)

176
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:42:33pm

Fallout News:

They’ve revamped the skills and perks to a new system, but you can save up points to add to stuff on the fly.

Weapons are all fully modable. You can start off with a basic stock weapons, then depending on the parts and components you acquire, can convert it to anything from a shotgun, assault rifle, sniper rifle, etc. This covers all the basic weapons types from the previous games.

There is a full settlement system where you can claim an area, build up its defenses and resources, attract locals to inhabit the settlement, build up special facilities and use it to store gear.

177
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:42:35pm

Sharing again because I like it so much:

178
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:43:20pm

mcclatchy/marist poll has hillary winning against all goopers

carson still does better than the other baby hitlers, losing by only 2%

179
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:44:26pm

The Killers - Bones

180
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:44:46pm

re: #173 Targetpractice

Much like the “Secure Fence Act of ‘06,” Republicans talk a good deal about the need for fencing, then suddenly can’t find the money to actually build it.

The same day that one of ‘em claims ISIS is coming over the Mexican border (tweet posted last thread), they drop the whole thing.

181
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:44:47pm

re: #178 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

mcclatchy/marist poll has hillary winning against all goopers

carson still does better than the other baby hitlers, losing by only 2%

That would be within the margin of error no?

182
Lidane  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:45:55pm

re: #178 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

mcclatchy/marist poll has hillary winning against all goopers

carson still does better than the other baby hitlers, losing by only 2%

But but but but…. RWNJs insist that Dr. Crazy McStabby beats Hillary by 10 points!

183
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:47:08pm

re: #182 Lidane

Gotta love how that poll has every GOP candidate winning…EXCEPT Trump!

184
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:48:08pm

re: #181 Eclectic Cyborg

That would be within the margin of error no?

depends on the effect of the speed of light on time travel

185
Kragar  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:48:29pm

Concept Art from Bethesda covering their modable weapon concept for FO4

186
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:51:19pm
187
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:51:43pm

Well I thought I would visit Macy’s on the way home from work and this happened==>

188
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:52:11pm

re: #186 Backwoods_Sleuth

snort

189
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:54:26pm

No injuries, race/ethnicity/religion of shooter not reported.

I parked on the Macy’s side of the mall but they weren’t letting anyone into the store. Shoppers and employees streaming out. YOOGE traffic jam.

190
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:56:01pm

re: #189 The Vicious Babushka

Take care/keep safe.

191
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:57:28pm

Refreshing to see even some of my most devout Christian friends posting on FB about how stupid the whole cup thing is.

192
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:58:44pm
193
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 2:59:50pm

re: #171 wrenchwench

‘Sad’ news from Arizona:

One of whom already said, ‘No thanks.’

Well, it looks like they have enough to build just under 0.1 miles of fence. I guess they will just have to send the bill to the Mexican Government.

RBS

194
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:00:08pm

re: #192 Backwoods_Sleuth

Ok, Jebby, you go kill baby Hitler and let adults take part in the election.

195
Mike Lamb  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:01:33pm

re: #160 Charles Johnson

Scottsdale, Arizona. Of course.

Hey…wait…as an Arizonan, that’s not, uh…you, uh, take that, uh—I got nothing.

196
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:01:51pm

This guy is, of course, anti-choice. Because abortion is killing babies or something.

197
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:02:46pm

re: #196 Nyet

This guy is, of course, anti-choice. Because abortion is killing babies or something.

And all babies are innocent, or something.

198
Jay C  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:02:52pm

re: #110 HappyWarrior

What I want to see is Jeb in Bramau or Linz trying to find the Hitler residence.

“Alois? Who vas you talkink to in der parlor?”
“Don’t know him - some crazy Amerikaner, I sink. He said he vas looking for us all over town”
“Vot did he vant?”
“Don’t know - moshtly he vanted to talk a lot about der baby”
“Der baby? Little Adi??”
“Ja. But don’t vorry - I told him nossink. He didn’t look like anyvun I vould vant anyvere near der kinder. Und Vot kind of a name is ‘Yeb’ ?? “

199
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:05:24pm

re: #198 Jay C

Das Baby :D

200
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:06:09pm

If Starbucks wanted to drive the RWNJs (more) crazy, they could go back to their original logo:

201
Nyet  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:07:54pm

re: #200 wrenchwench

I remember the wingnut outrage over the Procter&Gamble logo.

en.wikipedia.org

The company received unwanted media publicity in the 1980s when rumors spread that the moon-and-stars logo was a satanic symbol. The accusation was based on a particular passage in the Bible, specifically Revelation 12:1, which states: “And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, the moon under her feet and upon her head a crown of 12 stars.” P&G’s logo consisted of a man’s face on the moon surrounded by 13 stars. Some claimed that the logo was a mockery of the heavenly symbol alluded to in the aforementioned verse, thus construing the logo to be satanic. Where the flowing beard meets the surrounding circle, three curls were said to be a mirror image of the number 666, or the reflected number of the beast. At the top and bottom, the hair curls in on itself and was said to be the two horns like those of a ram. The moon-and-stars logo was discontinued in 1985 in a failed attempt to quash the rumors.[46]

202
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:10:10pm

I have to admit that I get a chuckle out of the fact that the RWNJ’s are screaming that Rubio isn’t a good senator because he’s missed a lot of votes, but just raise the issue of Cruz’s voting record… For the record, Rubio has missed 12.4% of the votes, vs Cruz at 11.9% lifetime. This compares to the average of 1.6% for all current senators, lifetime. Source is Govtrack

RBS

203
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:12:07pm

re: #201 Nyet

I remember the wingnut outrage over the Procter&Gamble logo.

en.wikipedia.org

Weren’t they flipping out a few years back about some new NASA logo that was supposedly Islamic?

204
Eclectic Cyborg  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:14:39pm

re: #200 wrenchwench

If Starbucks wanted to drive the RWNJs (more) crazy, they could go back to their original logo:

Embedded Image

I thought you meant this one…

205
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:15:40pm
206
goddamnedfrank  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:15:55pm

re: #200 wrenchwench

If Starbucks wanted to drive the RWNJs (more) crazy, they could go back to their original logo:

Embedded Image

That’s not the original logo. The original logo had breasteses.

207
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:16:26pm

I wonder if I will have a problem watching the clown show tomorrow night. Fox Business wants me to log-in with my cable provider, but I don’t get TV programming from Cox Cable.

208
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:18:26pm

re: #206 goddamnedfrank

That’s not the original logo. The original logo had breasteses.

[Embedded content]

They had tea right off the bat! And where did the spices go?

209
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:20:01pm

re: #203 Eclectic Cyborg

Weren’t they flipping out a few years back about some new NASA logo that was supposedly Islamic?

I don’t recall that one, but the National Recon. Office had a great logo for one of their spy satellites a few years back.

Nah, it’s not SPECTRE… Not at all
210
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:20:21pm

re: #208 wrenchwench

They had tea right off the bat! And where did the spices go?

In the Pumpkins…. Duh!!!!

RBS

211
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:20:35pm
212
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:20:44pm

I get stuck in an infinite loop at foxbusiness.com . Their video player sends me to Cox to sign in, and I can sign in with my internet account, but then I get taken back to foxbusiness.com to the video player who wants me to go to my cable provider to log in ….

213
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:21:50pm

re: #198 Jay C

“Alois? Who vas you talkink to in der parlor?”
“Don’t know him - some crazy Amerikaner, I sink. He said he vas looking for us all over town”
“Vot did he vant?”
“Don’t know - moshtly he vanted to talk a lot about der baby”
“Der baby? Little Adi??”
“Ja. But don’t vorry - I told him nossink. He didn’t look like anyvun I vould vant anyvere near der kinder. Und Vot kind of a name is ‘Yeb’ ?? “

Haha yeah.

214
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:23:26pm

re: #203 Eclectic Cyborg

Weren’t they flipping out a few years back about some new NASA logo that was supposedly Islamic?

Yeah because there was a crescent moon iirc.

215
gocart mozart  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:25:15pm
216
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:26:08pm

re: #212 freetoken

it did that to me when i tried to watch the last one, and I was using a cable account log in. I’m really not sure, at this point, if I can tolerate watching any debates for either side. I suppose that’s one of the good things about being a voter in California, our primary is pretty much always last, which means we typically have no say in the nomination processes. Of course it’s also somewhat strange that the state with the largest population (and therefore most delegates in each party) has no real say in the nominations unless something goes catastrophically wrong.

217
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:26:59pm

re: #215 gocart mozart

I’ll only consider it if one pint turns into 70 pints, and then has like 6 pints left over.

218
allegro  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:28:14pm

re: #217 KGxvi

I’ll only consider it if one pint turns into 70 pints, and then has like 6 pints left over.

I wouldn’t even want one fish flavor ice cream. Ew.

219
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:29:17pm

re: #218 allegro

a fair point, now that you mention it.

220
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:29:23pm

re: #217 KGxvi

I’ll only consider it if one pint turns into 70 pints, and then has like 6 pints left over.

I’m not sure you COULD run out of Fish Flavored Ice Cream. That would imply that people were willing to take some.

Alton Brown on Trout Ice Cream from Iron Chef

Alton Brown on the taste of trout ice cream

RBS

221
Shiplord Kirel  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:29:39pm

This facetious paradox is based on an assumption that Hitler’s career as a criminal and murderer was somehow predestined and inevitable from birth. It wasn’t, of course, but it is an interesting assumption, perhaps reflective of the conservative worldview and its notion of a predestined order.

A better course would be to go back in time and try by every means available to influence young Adolf’s early life so he doesn’t grow up to be a shit.

222
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:30:02pm

I had Guinness Ice Cream in Co Kerry.

223
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:30:39pm

re: #218 allegro

I wouldn’t even want one fish flavor ice cream. Ew.

You beat me to it…. But I’ve got an Alton Brown video… Neener Neener Neener.

RBS

224
allegro  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:30:44pm

re: #219 KGxvi

a fair point, now that you mention it.

Today’s special: tuna swirl with seaweed sprinkles.

225
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:31:03pm

re: #221 Shiplord Kirel

This facetious paradox is based on an assumption that Hitler’s career as a criminal and murderer was somehow predestined and inevitable from birth. It wasn’t, of course, but it is an interesting assumption, perhaps reflective of the conservative worldview and its notion of a predestined order.

A better course would be to go back in time and try by every means available to influence young Adolf’s early life so he doesn’t grow up to be a shit.

Well for that to happen, Jeb isn’t your man. Doc Brown and Marty aren’t too busy.

226
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:31:14pm

According to this:

Fox Business to stream GOP debate for free

Fox Business Network is opening up access to its Republican debate scheduled for Tuesday.

The debate will be streamed for free on foxbusiness.com, without the need to be a cable TV subscriber.

While CNN streamed its Republican and Democratic debates for free online, both Fox News and CNBC restricted online streaming access to pay-TV subscribers, limiting the potential viewership on platforms other than the TV set. CBS News, the first broadcast network to host a primary debate, is also planning to livestream the Democratic debate on Nov. 15 for free.

Opening up access to streamers can make a difference: During its Democratic debate, CNN at one point had nearly 1 million concurrent viewers on its livestream.

[…]

I guess I’ll believe it when I see it.

227
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:37:51pm

President Obama is up to 326,538 likes on his new Facebook page.

228
Timothy Watson  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:39:29pm

re: #227 freetoken

President Obama is up to 326,538 likes on his new Facebook page.

How many people have been removed after leaving a comment full of expletives and racial slurs?

229
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:40:06pm

re: #228 Timothy Watson

Don’t know, but the number of likes has just increased by about 3 thousand.

230
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:40:25pm

facebook.com

231
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:42:05pm

re: #228 Timothy Watson

Karen Stofle Crawford HE’S A COMMIESHITBAG MUSLIM TRAITOR AND SO ARE ALL YOU BUTT KISSERS !!!
Like * Reply * 8 * 1 hr

232
Timothy Watson  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:42:12pm

Don’t these people know what happened the last time someone tried to remove Hitler from the timeline?
C&C: Red Alert 1 Intro

233
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:43:51pm

re: #221 Shiplord Kirel

There’s more to the paradox than Hitler’s predestination. The rise of Hitler or someone similar (possibly worse) was likely due to the combination of the Treaty of Versailles and the Great Depression. Even if you remove Hitler from the timeline before 1930 (let’s say you travel to WWI and kill him in a fox hole, instead of as a baby), that does not mean the Nazis do not happen. And then, even if you stopped the Nazis from happening, the outcome could have been much worse - as #17 Eclectic Cyborg points out.

The point is, I think, that there are certain events so big, and so important, in history that they can’t be changed - even if you had the ability to change them.

234
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:44:58pm

re: #231 freetoken

Karen Stofle Crawford HE’S A COMMIESHITBAG MUSLIM TRAITOR AND SO ARE ALL YOU BUTT KISSERS !!!
Like * Reply * 8 * 1 hr


Probably going to be hard to get her to campaign for Hillary. I’ll put her in Votebuilder as “undecided”.

235
ObserverArt  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:45:06pm

Are not most of the GOP candidates already living in the past?

And if not, I am all for sending them all back to 1889 to try to kill baby Hitler. And then we can leave them there.

I am concerned about Jebby though. He is admitting he would kill a baby and that is against God’s plan. Yep, God’s plan must have included a Hilter. And a Pol Pot, Stalin, a Bin Laden.

Wait…God created mass-murderers???

So many questions to ponder that run into all kinds of hard thinking. Hand me that Bible and I’ll just say I read that. That’s easy.

236
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:46:12pm

re: #233 KGxvi

I’m pretty sure that if one went back and foiled Rome’s conquest of Carthage that we’d never have WWII, Nazis, etc.

What would happen instead would be something a bit beyond our comprehension. Maybe Europe would be better today, maybe it would be worse.

237
Sophist C. Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:47:04pm

re: #68 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Do we have to kill him? Can’t we just do something to his voicebox?

238
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:47:55pm

re: #235 ObserverArt

And if not, I am all for sending them all back to 1889 to try to kill baby Hitler. And then we can leave them there.

Are we really sure we want to do that? Doesn’t Trump basically become a real life Nucky Thompson in this scenario? Not to mention the potential attacks on Wilson and the Roosevelts. Hell, if they are given 20 years to get into positions of power, the US may end up joining the Central Powers in WWI rather than the Allies.

239
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:50:52pm

re: #236 freetoken

That’s sort of my point, if you go back and block traffic on Tuesday so I have to go with Chinese take out instead of Chipotle for dinner, world history isn’t really going to change. Hell, if you go back and shoot a random soldier during the Battle of the Bulge, it probably doesn’t change much. But you go back, and say, hit Washington with a poisoned arrow during the French and Indian War, you’re looking at a very different time line. Fixed points, as the Doctor would say.

240
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:51:44pm
241
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 3:57:05pm

re: #240 Backwoods_Sleuth

Jeb time travels. Kills baby Hitler. WWII averted. Barbara never falls in love w/ war pilot George HW Bush. Jeb is never born. Hitler lives.

um h w was in the pacific war, which wouldnt be averted by dead baby hitlers

242
Shiplord Kirel  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:00:13pm

re: #238 KGxvi

Are we really sure we want to do that? Doesn’t Trump basically become a real life Nucky Thompson in this scenario? Not to mention the potential attacks on Wilson and the Roosevelts. Hell, if they are given 20 years to get into positions of power, the US may end up joining the Central Powers in WWI rather than the Allies.

Spoiler, re Harry Turtledove’s Timeline 191 alt-history series.

Click to Reveal

Exactly that occurs in Turtledove’s Southern Victory (aka Timeline 191) series. Like so many alt histories, it begins with the south winning the original Civil War. Then, in the 1880s, the truncated United States launches a new war of revenge and re-conquest, only to lose a second time because of British and French intervention. In signing the peace treaty, the defeated President Samuel Tilden promises that the US will also have powerful allies in any re-match. The British representative condescendingly asks who ever that might be, since his country, the French, and their assorted allies all sided with the Confederacy and there are no other maritime powers that might have the ability to intervene. Tilden does not answer. The story fast forwards to 1913. and the US is formally allied with the newly risen power of imperial Germany.

243
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:00:42pm

if jesus hadnt been born, would europe have remained pagan?

if augustus hadnt been born, would rome have remained republican?

if wwii never happened, would the 30s depression ever have really ended?

if madison and jefferson had been assasinated, would the articles of confederation still have been replaced with the current constitution?

244
ObserverArt  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:00:52pm

I saw VB post up a lot of Ben Shapiro crying rants about the Black students and their sympathizers at Missouri.

One question for Benny. How would he feel as a Jewish student if a group of White bigots did to Jewish students some of the things the Blacks had to put with at school.

How about Swastikas painted on Jewish student union bathrooms? Maybe invite Jewish students to a Halloween themed party at frat house that has a Gas Chamber theme…or sprinkle the lawn of a building with little tiny crosses?

I guess Ben would just laugh all that off wouldn’t he? He is such a punk.

245
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:01:11pm

re: #233 KGxvi

There’s more to the paradox than Hitler’s predestination. The rise of Hitler or someone similar (possibly worse) was likely due to the combination of the Treaty of Versailles and the Great Depression. Even if you remove Hitler from the timeline before 1930 (let’s say you travel to WWI and kill him in a fox hole, instead of as a baby), that does not mean the Nazis do not happen. And then, even if you stopped the Nazis from happening, the outcome could have been much worse - as #17 Eclectic Cyborg points out.

The point is, I think, that there are certain events so big, and so important, in history that they can’t be changed - even if you had the ability to change them.

That’s the thing about changing history, the forces that are already in motion are likely to stay in motion, though the outcome will be different. There was simply too much anger and resentment in Germany post-WWI for there to be any other outcome besides another war. In the absence of Hitler, any number of alternative scenarios could have played out. Plus there were other forces in the world that were already shaping future events. The absence of Hitler doesn’t prevent Japan from becoming more militaristic and invading China to seek greater wealth. Nor does it stop Stalin from pushing forward with modernization plans that will lead to millions of deaths before his own. The Chinese Civil War would still likely happen in a world with him gone. And so many other events that were already in motion before he even became chancellor in 1933.

246
Not a Sparkly Vampire  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:02:22pm

Is this shit for real?
e_e

247
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:04:26pm

re: #233 KGxvi

Even if you remove Hitler from the timeline before 1930 (let’s say you travel to WWI and kill him in a fox hole, instead of as a baby), that does not mean the Nazis do not happen.

nazi leader would be charismatic homosexual socialist true believer ernst roehm?

248
A Mom Anon  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:05:55pm

Soooo, what if this whole killing baby Hitler thing threw Prescott Bush’s dealings with the Nazi’s out of whack and he didn’t get rich off it, thus not having a fortune to leave to his heirs? Would the Bush family then just been another plain old family like the rest of us commoners?

OK, I’m just making fun, but honest to god, doesn’t the stupid media have anything else to do?

249
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:06:04pm

re: #243 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

if jesus hadnt been born, would europe have remained pagan?

Personally, I’m of the opinion that the first clause of this question is an assumption. But that’s a whole other frivolous debate.

250
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:06:33pm

Police: Child finds gun in car, shoots self in Kroger parking lot

A 3-year-old was hospitalized Friday after accidentally shot himself inside a vehicle in a grocery store parking lot in Troy.

The toddler was in the front seat of the family car around 1:45 when he found his mom’s gun. He picked it up and it somehow went off and shot the Rochester Hills boy in the leg. He was taken to a nearby hospital and is listed in stable condition. According to Troy Police Capt. Bob Redmond, he is expected to be okay.

“The mother and her two sons had been in Kroger shopping, when they came out the 4-year-old climbed into the into backseat of the car,” Redmond said.

Police said the boy was in the front seat while his 10-year-old brother helped mom load groceries into the trunk at the Kroger at South Blvd and Crooks. The young boy reached into the front center console, took out his mom’s 9 MM handgun and shot himself. Police say the bullet exited his thigh. More at fox2detroit.com

The mother has a Concealed Carry Permit. Another responsible gun owner.

RBS

251
Big Beautiful Door  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:07:25pm

re: #168 Jenner7

I was listening to Sean Hannity and he denies there is systemic racism and that even the southern states, there just isn’t that much racism.

I think if they admitted the existence of systemic racism, they’d then have to admit it comes mostly from their party.

I wish it was that simple, but racism has been baked into the country by decades of policies designed to entrench white supremacy.

252
William Lewis  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:08:07pm

re: #247 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

nazi leader would be charismatic homosexual socialist true believer ernst roehm?

Haydrich whom even the other Nazis were scared of…

253
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:08:21pm

re: #241 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

um h w was in the pacific war, which wouldnt be averted by dead baby hitlers

Japanese Empire stretches from Irkutsk to Thailand but later collapses through independence fighters in China and SE Asia, but remains in control of the Korean peninsula.

US never went to war because Japan was never convinced they would have any allies and knew better than to take on the West by themselves and thus never bombed HI.

There is thus no Korean conflict, the US stays in Hawaii but not points west.

However the Japanese had developed the A-bomb in a 3-way race between the Soviets, the US, and Japan, and by 1949 they all had the bomb, which they used in the great war of 1955 after Japan had lost China and was afraid of invasion. Though nuked into desolation, Japan was still able to bomb all the major cities on the US west coast before the end.

254
GlutenFreeJesus  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:09:55pm

We are looking at this at the wrong angle. We should be asking Jeb! if he would order Hitler’s mother to get an abortion.

255
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:11:35pm

re: #249 KGxvi

Personally, I’m of the opinion that the first clause of this question is an assumption. But that’s a whole other frivolous debate.

if jesus was not a real person, what is your theory of how he was constructed?

256
Timothy Watson  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:15:47pm

re: #253 freetoken

If I could remember all the backstory to Fallout, I would throw up a reference, but I just remember the Russians, United States, and China bombing the stuff out of each other.

257
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:16:46pm

re: #255 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

The story of Jesus fits a lot of ancient traditions. Some from the Old Testament (Herod ordering the murder of baby boys parallels the story of Moses), some from Greek and Roman traditions - in particular Dionysus (and several other demigods, for that matter).

258
Kid A  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:16:54pm

Obama’s Facebook page has been taken down, I think.

259
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:17:46pm

re: #258 Kid A

Obama’s Facebook page has been taken down, I think.

I still see it.

260
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:18:08pm

re: #258 Kid A

I just checked it. Now had added another 20,000 likes.

Be sure you get the right one - I linked it below. There is another one put up by a campaign. Then there are the political attack ones too.

261
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:18:18pm

re: #258 Kid A

Obama’s Facebook page has been taken down, I think.

In-processing logjams are the weak link at the FEMA camps.

262
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:18:58pm

re: #258 Kid A

Obama’s Facebook page has been taken down, I think.

It was there a minute ago.

263
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:20:00pm

gah…

264
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:21:36pm

re: #263 Backwoods_Sleuth

gah…

Yes, you heard Tweety right: He’s invited Michele Bachmann on to his post- #GOPDebate show.

His Come-to-Jesus moment.

265
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:21:37pm

Perhaps Jeb? should also bear in mind that, without WWII, the US was likely to remain a second-rate power for much of the 20th. Without WWII, America’s allies/rivals don’t suffer the sort of economic damage that allowed her to capitalize on new markets and expand herself in the economic powerhouse that she became in the wake of WWII. No Nazi regime means no brain drain of vital talent, as Jewish scientists don’t leave a Germany hostile to their very existence, and no Operation Paperclip to capitalize on Germany scientific progress post-war. Without the pressures of war, technologies like jet engines and computers continue to putter along for years after they would have been pressed into service, with countries like Germany and Britain remaining world leaders in the technology rather than US firms. And with the nations of Europe maintaining their empires, the US has fewer chances to make inroads into markets that previously were monopolized by their rivals.

266
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:22:18pm

I pointed out to some Bernie supporters that maybe this is not the best endorsement and they were all like
HURR HURR AT LEAST HE’S NOT SUPPORTING HILLARY!!!!1!!!

RFK Jr. should be a Trump supporter:

267
Not a Sparkly Vampire  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:22:52pm

re: #256 Timothy Watson

If I could remember all the backstory to Fallout, I would throw up a reference, but I just remember the Russians, United States, and China bombing the stuff out of each other.

Well, there was a limited nuclear exchange in the Middle East during the Resource Wars in the 2050s. Europe was involved in that one. They then fell into infighting once the oil was gone in the ME. Alaska was one of the last places on Earth that had extractable oil.
Hence the Chinese invasion in the 2060s. The US ‘won’ but less than a decade later the Great War started on Oct. 23, 2077. No one knows who started it, only that anyone who had nukes used them.

268
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:25:47pm

re: #265 Targetpractice

Well, I’m convinced there would have been a WWII even without Hitler. It may have been worse, or maybe not as bad, but it was clear that the old European powers were crumbling and the status quo wasn’t going to stay around much longer. If anything, eventually Stalin would have forced changes.

And, the US was already the leading industrial power after WWI. Being the dominant nation in industry and resource we would still have run the Western Hemisphere pretty much as we wanted.

269
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:25:51pm

re: #257 KGxvi

The story of Jesus fits a lot of ancient traditions. Some from the Old Testament (Herod ordering the murder of baby boys parallels the story of Moses), some from Greek and Roman traditions - in particular Dionysus (and several other demigods, for that matter).

true, the jesus story closely resembles the vegetable god pattern: consort of a female deity, dies and comes back to life, like the story of isis and osiris & etc & etc

my question is different: the writers of the gospel not only added on a lot of ready made mythology from the O.T. and pagan traditions, but also conveyed a convincing portrait of a charismatic jewish rabbi who eloquently preached a revolutionary doctrine. somehow many people accepted him from the get-go as a real person

four (minimum) authors produce similar but differing accounts of a totally fictional person who many people believe to have been real. how does this come about? why is the scenario that the jesus personage is totally fictional more plausible than that a real person’s biography was decorated with well known mythical attributes? who wrote the eloquent soliloquies attributed to “jesus”?

270
A Mom Anon  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:28:22pm

re: #266 The Vicious Babushka

This is one of the more disappointing things for me to digest. RFK Jr has been a force for good on environmental issues, but this vaccine thing is so destructive and just anti science that it makes me sick, sad and fucking angry. I have no love for “big pharma” at all, I don’t trust corporations to do the right things without tons of oversight and severe consequences for fucking up (which doesn’t happen nearly enough, ever), but vaccines have a proven track record for decade after decade, with millions of lives saved to prove it. Sigh.

271
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:30:38pm

re: #269 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

sorry dont mind me im a bit of a nut on the subject…

272
Backwoods_Sleuth  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:30:40pm

edited to add Twitter translation:
Meet cat named Albert Selkirk Rex with incredulous-embittered expression mordahi

273
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:31:00pm

re: #269 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

The Synoptic Gospels are not independent material. And the 4th Gospel is clearly influenced by the Synoptics. They are not independent things.

Sergey and I have gone around quite a bit over this the past 2 years.

History is not often the same thing as religious teachings. The modern discourse we call “history” has different goals and methods than religious teaching.

I am now convinced that the Synoptic Gospels started their literary lives as the material of Passion plays. That is, religious ceremonies would have plays around Passover based on the then-removed-from-Palestine-by-the-Romans Jewish cults that followed key personages of the 1st century.

274
Targetpractice  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:31:46pm

re: #272 Backwoods_Sleuth

[Embedded content]

edited to add Twitter translation:
Meet cat named Albert Selkirk Rex with incredulous-embittered expression mordahi

That’s not a cat, that’s shag carpeting with attitude.

275
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:33:01pm

re: #273 freetoken

The Synoptic Gospels are not independent material. And the 4th Gospel is clearly influenced by the Synoptics. They are not independent things.

Sergey and I have gone around quite a bit over this the past 2 years.

History is not often the same thing as religious teachings. The modern discourse we call “history” has different goals and methods than religious teaching.

I am now convinced that the Synoptic Gospels started their literary lives as the material of Passion plays. That is, religious ceremonies would have plays around Passover based on the then-removed-from-Palestine-by-the-Romans Jewish cults that followed key personages of the 1st century.

The Passion Play is not a custom or a ritual in Jewish tradition.

276
Eric The Fruit Bat  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:33:43pm

re: #274 Targetpractice

The Selkirk Rex are noted for having a normal sized coat.

277
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:34:53pm

re: #270 A Mom Anon

This is one of the more disappointing things for me to digest. RFK Jr has been a force for good on environmental issues, but this vaccine thing is so destructive and just anti science that it makes me sick, sad and fucking angry. I have no love for “big pharma” at all, I don’t trust corporations to do the right things without tons of oversight and severe consequences for fucking up (which doesn’t happen nearly enough, ever), but vaccines have a proven track record for decade after decade, with millions of lives saved to prove it. Sigh.

There’s a local monthly freebie that I used to get a pile of at the shop. In the Oct. issue they had a ‘guest opinion’ piece in which the guest said, ‘maybe GMOs cause Autism.’ I was so mad. They left me no pile this month and never will again. And they didn’t even ask why they were disinvited.

278
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:35:36pm

re: #275 The Vicious Babushka

The Passion Play is not a custom or a ritual in Jewish tradition.

But plays were a part of the Greek culture from which the Gospels sprang. I think it is pretty clear that Christianity is a mash-up of Jewish traditions with Greek culture.

279
wrenchwench  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:36:24pm

re: #272 Backwoods_Sleuth

[Embedded content]

edited to add Twitter translation:
Meet cat named Albert Selkirk Rex with incredulous-embittered expression mordahi

I thought the translation would say, ‘SUSPENDED!’

280
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:37:03pm

It’s important to realize that the Gospels were written in Greek.

They contain but a few words of Aramaic, and those are given in quotes intended to represent an original speaker, the Gospel writer being self-aware they were writing down the story in Greek.

281
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:37:41pm

re: #269 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

We know that the first gospel wasn’t written until probably 75-100 years after the death of Jesus. In that era, that’s essentially two lifetimes. So there are stories being passed on by oral tradition for quite a while before they are written down. It’s entirely likely that the story was one that was well known in the region, thus allowing (at least) four authors to write the story down. And while the four authors hit the main points, they also tell rather different stories (especially when you start considering the gnostic gospels) - it’s similar to fan fiction, or stories that have fallen into the public domain today and have been reworked. Also, keep in mind that this was an era when people still believed in divine revelation (and some likely would still have believed the gods walked among us), so accepting the existence of this demigod wouldn’t necessarily be difficult for them.

I simply find it hard to believe that, as dedicated as the Romans were to recording things that happened on their watch, that we find no solid evidence of a rebel rouser like Jesus - while we have evidence of Spartacus.

282
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:38:48pm

I love how Jeopardy sometimes reminds me that I am not as smart as I like to think I am. Like tonight.

283
b_sharp  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:40:44pm

re: #282 WhatEVs

I love how Jeopardy sometimes reminds me that I am not as smart as I like to think I am. Like tonight

Does that to me all the time. Only when it hits science/math/computer stuff do I do Ok. V on the other hand does well everywhere but those 3 areas.

284
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:41:23pm

re: #273 freetoken

The Synoptic Gospels are not independent material.

a popular theory, somewhat borne out by the ‘gospel of thomas’, is that the synoptic gospels all draw on ‘sayings gospels’ that were more direct transcriptions of the actual preacher - this theory tends to suppose that there was a real person or persons who originated the preachings

i think the interesting question is who originated the sermons and quotes attributed to jesus? this is a bit like saying shakespeare didnt write shakespeare - the answer is that whoever it was who wrote the plays and sonnets - we can call that person “shakespeare” for the sake of convenience

who wrote “jesus”?

And the 4th Gospel is clearly influenced by the Synoptics. They are not independent things.

john be tripping. he is one tripped out hippie

I am now convinced that the Synoptic Gospels started their literary lives as the material of Passion plays. That is, religious ceremonies would have plays around Passover based on the then-removed-from-Palestine-by-the-Romans Jewish cults that followed key personages of the 1st century.

that’s a new one on me. what are the historical sources that describe these very early passion plays? im only familiar with the much later medieval christian ones…

285
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:42:26pm

re: #281 KGxvi

We know that the first gospel wasn’t written until probably 75-100 years after the death of Jesus. In that era, that’s essentially two lifetimes. So there are stories being passed on by oral tradition for quite a while before they are written down. It’s entirely likely that the story was one that was well known in the region, thus allowing (at least) four authors to write the story down. And while the four authors hit the main points, they also tell rather different stories (especially when you start considering the gnostic gospels) - it’s similar to fan fiction, or stories that have fallen into the public domain today and have been reworked. Also, keep in mind that this was an era when people still believed in divine revelation (and some likely would still have believed the gods walked among us), so accepting the existence of this demigod wouldn’t necessarily be difficult for them.

I simply find it hard to believe that, as dedicated as the Romans were to recording things that happened on their watch, that we find no solid evidence of a rebel rouser like Jesus - while we have evidence of Spartacus.

The core personality probably faded into a background of similar upstarts. A culture under oppressive rule spits out failed messiahs at a fairly good clip. Rarely, one of them has unique characteristics that make a successful match with the environment, and he takes off.

286
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:44:34pm

re: #281 KGxvi

We know that the first gospel wasn’t written until probably 75-100 years after the death of Jesus. In that era, that’s essentially two lifetimes. So there are stories being passed on by oral tradition for quite a while before they are written down. It’s entirely likely that the story was one that was well known in the region, thus allowing (at least) four authors to write the story down. And while the four authors hit the main points, they also tell rather different stories (especially when you start considering the gnostic gospels) - it’s similar to fan fiction, or stories that have fallen into the public domain today and have been reworked. Also, keep in mind that this was an era when people still believed in divine revelation (and some likely would still have believed the gods walked among us), so accepting the existence of this demigod wouldn’t necessarily be difficult for them.

I simply find it hard to believe that, as dedicated as the Romans were to recording things that happened on their watch, that we find no solid evidence of a rebel rouser like Jesus - while we have evidence of Spartacus.

my question remains the same as the one i posed to freetoken: if there was no actual “jesus”, who was the genius who wrote the things attributed to him?

im not interested in jesus the god myth - im interested in jesus the person who wrote the sermon on the mount in matthew, whether or not this person was the “jesus” who is portrayed in the gospels

287
A Mom Anon  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:47:41pm

re: #277 wrenchwench

The whole GMO discussion is off the rails too. So much so that the issue is blurred and confused and the fools protesting it don’t have the first clue as to what they’re upset about. The research done to make rice high in vitamin A for example, is saving lives and saving people from going blind. This is not a bad thing. Making plants more drought tolerant for the changing climate to feed more people, again, how is that bad? All these people pissed about that live in a place where food is plentiful (for now at least) and so they whine and protest and spread misinformation which confuses the issue even more.

As for the autism angle to all this stuff, nothing pisses me off more. There are people out there who will allow their kids to suffer horrible diseases because autism is just that bad to them. Fuck them. Like this crazy ass dipshit in the link below.

Link

288
freetoken  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:47:45pm

re: #284 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

The Gospel of Thomas and all the misc. “Christian” material found in Egypt raises the question of how different cultures framed their religions. Substantially, “Christianity” of the 1st century in Egypt could have been very different than that in Asia Minor.

Some of the oldest surviving material suggests that the beliefs and practices of the time were substantially different than what eventually became the Christianity of Europe.

The very sharp divide with the established Jewish hierarchy though was one of the consistent themes even from the beginning.

This suggests that the real formation of Christianity had much to do with intra-religious disputes between Jewish groups.

289
Bubblehead II  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:48:53pm

Evening Lizards. I came, I saw and now leave. But I want to leave you with this question.

Why is there so little attention being paid to this case?

290
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:49:00pm

re: #286 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

That’s a question I’m not sure I have an answer to. It may have been a local philosopher, or someone who came across the teachings of Confucious via the Silk Road. It may be, as #285 Decatur Deb suggests an amalgamation of different prophets in a region recently set upon by foreign occupation. It may be that the first person(s) to write down the stories of the gospels was/were the “real” Jesus.

291
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:51:06pm

re: #288 freetoken

The Gospel of Thomas and all the misc. “Christian” material found in Egypt raises the question of how different cultures framed their religions. Substantially, “Christianity” of the 1st century in Egypt could have been very different than that in Asia Minor.

Some of the oldest surviving material suggests that the beliefs and practices of the time were substantially different than what eventually became the Christianity of Europe.

The very sharp divide with the established Jewish hierarchy though was one of the consistent themes even from the beginning.

This suggests that the real formation of Christianity had much to do with intra-religious disputes between Jewish groups.

how did this lead to the writing of e.g. the sermon on the mount and, ultimately, a convergence on the rest of the body of preaching of this hypothetically fictional character?

292
dholmes32  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:52:10pm

re: #272 Backwoods_Sleuth

I know that cat. He is Pompous Albert and he has a Facebook page.

293
Skip Intro  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:53:27pm
294
Lancelot Link  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:55:25pm

“Are you Klara Hitler?”
“Yes, why?”
“Come with me if you want to live!”

295
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:55:26pm

re: #290 KGxvi

That’s a question I’m not sure I have an answer to. It may have been a local philosopher, or someone who came across the teachings of Confucious via the Silk Road. It may be, as #285 Decatur Deb suggests an amalgamation of different prophets in a region recently set upon by foreign occupation. It may be that the first person(s) to write down the stories of the gospels was/were the “real” Jesus.

A more recent example. He still has about 5,000 followers in 4 congregations:

en.wikipedia.org

296
Eric The Fruit Bat  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:56:07pm

re: #281 KGxvi

Don’t forget there was another Gospel that for some reason isn’t included as part of the canon (Thomas)

297
dholmes32  Nov 9, 2015 • 4:56:40pm

re: #281 KGxvi

We know that the first gospel wasn’t written until probably 75-100 years after the death of Jesus. In that era, that’s essentially two lifetimes. So there are stories being passed on by oral tradition for quite a while before they are written down. It’s entirely likely that the story was one that was well known in the region, thus allowing (at least) four authors to write the story down. And while the four authors hit the main points, they also tell rather different stories (especially when you start considering the gnostic gospels) - it’s similar to fan fiction, or stories that have fallen into the public domain today and have been reworked. Also, keep in mind that this was an era when people still believed in divine revelation (and some likely would still have believed the gods walked among us), so accepting the existence of this demigod wouldn’t necessarily be difficult for them.

I simply find it hard to believe that, as dedicated as the Romans were to recording things that happened on their watch, that we find no solid evidence of a rebel rouser like Jesus - while we have evidence of Spartacus.

Actually, the best historians say that the gospel of Mark can be dated pretty close to 70, which puts it within 40 years of Jesus’ life. Matthew and Luke were written in the 80s. John is considered very late, probably close to 100.

And John is very, very different from Mark, Matthew and Luke. Matthew and Luke relied on Mark, and used another source, a sayings gospel called “Q”. John came from somewhere else. Really, John is very different from the Synoptics in so many ways.

This, by the way, is standard first semester History of the New Testament stuff that you’d get at university, like I did about 35 years ago. The outlines haven’t changed much since then. The details, yeah, somewhat.

298
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:01:52pm

re: #297 dholmes32

fair enough, working off the top of my head, I was getting dates/timelines mixed a bit. Even still, there’s a lot of time between when the things happened and when they were written down. Also, since they were transcribed, we don’t know how much changed from one version to the next, let alone from one language to the next.

re: #296 Eric The Fruit Bat

There’s actually evidence for several more gospels, that was part of the reason behind the Council of Nice - as well as the persecution of gnostics in Europe. We’ve found fragments of the Gospels of Mary, Peter, and possibly Jesus. It’s entirely likely several more never made it to the middle ages.

299
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:04:25pm

re: #297 dholmes32

Actually, the best historians say that the gospel of Mark can be dated pretty close to 70, which puts it within 40 years of Jesus’ life. Matthew and Luke were written in the 80s. John is considered very late, probably close to 100.

And John is very, very different from Mark, Matthew and Luke. Matthew and Luke relied on Mark, and used another source, a sayings gospel called “Q”. John came from somewhere else. Really, John is very different from the Synoptics in so many ways.

This, by the way, is standard first semester History of the New Testament stuff that you’d get at university, like I did about 35 years ago. The outlines haven’t changed much since then. The details, yeah, somewhat.

i basically believe in the historicity of “jesus” on the basis of occam’s razor: it is simpler to explain “jesus” as a genius preacher and faith healer who was promoted to a deity and encrusted with familiar myths than to postulate that he was an utterly fictional creation that was propagated by crew of co-conspirators. a split-the-difference theory might be that there were several talented preachers who were conflated into a single person

300
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:07:32pm

re: #299 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

This, ultimately, is why I want a TARDIS… well, that and Stonehenge and a billion other random things.

301
A Mom Anon  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:12:42pm

re: #287 A Mom Anon

I just wanted to add, the dumbass “naturopathic doctor” in that link allowed her three kids, the youngest still an infant, to go through whooping cough with NO medical assistance. No treatment except her idiotic natural cures which she’s convinced herself “worked” somehow. These kids suffered for SIX MONTHS and she refused any treatment for them. Meanwhile she and her husband never got sick, because there’s a pretty good chance THEY HAD THE VACCINES as children. She’s a selfish sack of crap who shouldn’t be in charge of any kid, ever. Her whole story is about her, how it effected her, how people challenged her, how her kids not dying validated her. Selfish, well off suburban mom who’s never done any time in the real world. Who thinks autism is worse than what she put those babies through. And the fucking idiot thinks her kids will be immune from whooping cough, because it’s not one of those diseases that you get and then get immunity from. She needs an ass beating.

302
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:13:19pm

re: #299 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

i basically believe in the historicity of “jesus” on the basis of occam’s razor: it is simpler to explain “jesus” as a genius preacher and faith healer who was promoted to a deity and encrusted with familiar myths than to postulate that he was an utterly fictional creation that was propagated by crew of co-conspirators. a split-the-difference theory might be that there were several talented preachers who were conflated into a single person

For a guess, I’d lean to one personality “naturally selected” out of a field of choices, simply because uniquely forceful personal traits are needed to jumpstart the new body. It would be critical to attract a few or many suicidally-dedicated followers early on.

303
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:16:34pm

Detective ‘Too Drunk’ to Receive MADD Award

304
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:21:16pm

re: #303 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

Detective ‘Too Drunk’ to Receive MADD Award

Getting an award for over 100 DUI tickets.

Dog, the privilege.

305
HappyWarrior  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:22:00pm

re: #270 A Mom Anon

This is one of the more disappointing things for me to digest. RFK Jr has been a force for good on environmental issues, but this vaccine thing is so destructive and just anti science that it makes me sick, sad and fucking angry. I have no love for “big pharma” at all, I don’t trust corporations to do the right things without tons of oversight and severe consequences for fucking up (which doesn’t happen nearly enough, ever), but vaccines have a proven track record for decade after decade, with millions of lives saved to prove it. Sigh.

I was really disappointed in him for that too. His father is actually one of my biggest political heroes.

306
Timothy Watson  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:22:26pm

re: #303 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

Szeliga also denied being as drunk as some of the witnesses claimed and insisted he only consumed two or three drinks that he poured for himself from the Jameson bottle in his room.

Anyone who has ever been caught for a DUI will swear until their last breath they only had two drinks.

307
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:23:47pm

re: #306 Timothy Watson

Anyone who has ever been caught for a DUI will swear until their last breath they only had two drinks.

“I only had tee martoonies!”

308
whitebeach  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:25:25pm

re: #289 Bubblehead II

Evening Lizards. I came, I saw and now leave. But I want to leave you with this question.

Why is there so little attention being paid to this case?

Don’t know where you live, Bubble, but I can tell you that the case is receiving a hell of a lot of coverage in Louisiana. I even heard a local RW talk guy out of Shreveport blasting the killer cops today, something I don’t think he’s ever done before.

309
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:29:30pm

I thought “Obergefell” was the new “Dred Scott” and “Gays” were the new “KKK”
You’re losing the narrative, Bryan.

310
WhatEVs  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:29:36pm

re: #307 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

“I only had tee martoonies!”

You did that rather well. Personal experience? :-D

311
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:29:49pm

re: #308 whitebeach

Don’t know where you live, Bubble, but I can tell you that the case is receiving a hell of a lot of coverage in Louisiana. I even heard a local RW talk guy out of Shreveport blasting the killer cops today, something I don’t think he’s ever done before.

I read a couple hundred comments about it on Freep. Of course they went klannish in a blink, ignoring the salient fact—the cops were busted without a lot of cover-up BS.

312
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:32:05pm

Dim Jim, Still The Stupidest Man On The Internet

313
Shiplord Kirel  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:36:45pm

re: #312 The Vicious Babushka

Dim Jim, Still The Stupidest Man On The Internet

[Embedded content]

I sense a great distubance in the Derp…….

314
Belafon  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:38:10pm

re: #312 The Vicious Babushka

Dim Jim, Still The Stupidest Man On The Internet

[Embedded content]

Did Ben get it from Rush, rush get it from Ben, or is there a third party involved in coordinating the RW message?

315
Barefoot Grin  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:38:24pm

re: #309 The Vicious Babushka

I thought “Obergefell” was the new “Dred Scott” and “Gays” were the new “KKK”
You’re losing the narrative, Bryan.

[Embedded content]

A golden oldie from the Clarence Thomas hearings.

316
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:39:44pm

Putin won’t take too kindly to this

317
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:40:10pm

re: #314 Belafon

Did Ben get it from Rush, rush get it from Ben, or is there a third party involved in coordinating the RW message?

At least Dim Jim gives credit to Rush. Steve Crowder repeats Rush’s lame shit and pretends that it’s his own shit.

318
A Cranky One  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:42:26pm

re: #291 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

how did this lead to the writing of e.g. the sermon on the mount and, ultimately, a convergence on the rest of the body of preaching of this hypothetically fictional character?

Was the sermon on the mount actually written? Or was it a sermon given that was later transcribed from memory by a witness? If so, how accurate would the transcription be? In either case, even if we assume a common source for the gospels, did that source have access to the most primary sources, those written records?

How accurately the written accounts reflect what was actually said is problematic, so the question of authorship can’t be answered.

319
CleverToad  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:43:42pm

re: #307 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

“I only had tee martoonies!”

re: #310 WhatEVs

You did that rather well. Personal experience? :-D

“Offishly honester, I’m not under the affluence of inkohol like some thinkle peep I am. I just had tee many martoonies.”

320
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:50:27pm

I think I spy pineapple.

321
Sophist C. Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:51:16pm

re: #249 KGxvi

Personally, I’m of the opinion that the first clause of this question is an assumption.

No, that happened much later.

322
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:51:48pm
323
teleskiguy  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:52:41pm
324
bratwurst  Nov 9, 2015 • 5:55:06pm

Pandering asshole alert:

325
Barefoot Grin  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:00:35pm

re: #323 teleskiguy

[Embedded content]

That hit a little too close to home (the picture of the Starbucks troops near the Indiana-Ohio border). I lived in south-central Indiana for a long time and there really were (are) people who worried that some reflective stickers on the backs of highway signs are actually part of an elaborate guidance system for the black UN helicopters.

326
sagehen  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:02:21pm

Sagehenic wisdom on the Baby Hitler question:

Leave him be. Because

a) The general trends/mood/broad historic momentum that was in place that enabled him to rise to where he rose and do what he did… those trends and that momentum existed already. He didn’t create it. I’ve read the Foundation series, I believe in psycho-history. If he hadn’t been in place for it to be him, it would have been somebody very similar who would have done almost all the same stuff. and

b) The one thing we know for absolute certain about Hitler, that we can’t be absolutely certain would be the same if it were someone else instead, is… he LOST. Big. He lost so big the entire ideology was discredited worldwide, for generations. Whoever would have taken that role if it wasn’t him might have avoided a couple of his biggest strategic errors, and might not have lost. Someone who was more receptive to his generals’ advice, someone who would have honored the non-aggression pact with the Soviets, someone who would have kept Japan from waking the sleeping giant that made all the difference…

From a decades-later perspective, I’m reasonably satisfied with how geopolitics have played out since. I’ll take the sure thing of what-did-happen over the could-have-been of something-worse.

327
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:04:10pm

re: #324 bratwurst

Pandering asshole alert:

[Embedded content]

Amaze. He reads Breitbart of course.

Trump is so far away from a Christian it’s breathtaking.

328
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:05:52pm
329
fern01  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:07:15pm

re: #308 whitebeach

Don’t know where you live, Bubble, but I can tell you that the case is receiving a hell of a lot of coverage in Louisiana. I even heard a local RW talk guy out of Shreveport blasting the killer cops today, something I don’t think he’s ever done before.

The child was white, the cops were black - that makes a difference

330
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:07:27pm

re: #312 The Vicious Babushka

RUSH LIMBAUGH: Mizzou President Resigned for Crime of Being White

for some reason i seem to have avoided arrest and prosecution on this count

331
ObserverArt  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:08:46pm

re: #65 Charles Johnson

What if Hitler was just the latest in a long line of genocidal dictators, all of whom have been killed by time travelers?

What if a time traveler realized the real powers they have and they change the task from killing Hitler and go back in time and kill everyone with the first nuclear devices?

332
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:12:10pm

re: #325 Barefoot Grin

That hit a little too close to home (the picture of the Starbucks troops near the Indiana-Ohio border). I lived in south-central Indiana for a long time and there really were (are) people who worried that some reflective stickers on the backs of highway signs are actually part of an elaborate guidance system for the black UN helicopters.

Good Googly Moogly… I hadn’t heard that one in years. I had forgotten all about the secret UN code on the back of highway road signs. I never did quite understand how they would work, being on the side facing away from traffic, unless they were going to simply drive the wrong direction down the Interstate.

RBS

333
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:13:43pm

re: #332 Reality Based Steve

Good Googly Moogly… I hadn’t heard that one in years. I had forgotten all about the secret UN code on the back of highway road signs. I never did quite understand how they would work, being on the side facing away from traffic, unless they were going to simply drive the wrong direction down the Interstate.

RBS

British UN contingent.

334
teleskiguy  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:13:52pm

re: #328 Charles Johnson

335
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:14:03pm

re: #332 Reality Based Steve

Good Googly Moogly… I hadn’t heard that one in years. I had forgotten all about the secret UN code on the back of highway road signs. I never did quite understand how they would work, being on the side facing away from traffic, unless they were going to simply drive the wrong direction down the Interstate.

RBS

It’s an all-British an/or Japanese force—that proves it!

ETA: Too slow again.

336
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:14:07pm

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that I was able to go back in time and visit baby Hitler, the bad news is that the best I was able to do was somehow sever a testicle.

//

337
Decatur Deb  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:15:55pm

re: #336 b.d.

Good news and bad news.

The good news is that I was able to go back in time and visit baby Hitler, the bad news is that the best I was able to do was somehow sever a testicle.

//

Good job on Baby Goebbels, though

338
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:16:21pm

re: #337 Decatur Deb

Good job on Baby Goebbels, though

339
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:16:42pm

re: #324 bratwurst

Pandering asshole alert:

[Embedded content]

One of my FB friends posted how this was the biggest nothing-burger yet… I had to add my .02 cents….

I am not going to buy anymore coffee from Starbucks because of this cup. On the other hand, I’m not going to buy any LESS coffee from Starbucks because of this cup. It affects my Starbucking by exactly 0.0%. If the cup leaked, then it would be a problem. I will continue to enjoy my evening Latte there, along with the occasional NYT.

and I don’t think that “Starbucking” is a word, but I’m using it anyhow.

RBS

340
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:19:15pm

I’d just go back and grab Gavrilo Princip’s arm at the crucial moment—all the other assassins the Serbian government sent (yes—don’t give me that “Black Hand” crapola) had already chickened out. The powder keg they deliberately threw the torch into was already becoming less explosive—the Anglo-German naval Cold War probably peaked in 1912, for example.

341
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:19:52pm

It really is mind-blowing what a horrible evil scumbag Chuck C. Johnson is. How does this guy live with himself?

342
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:22:50pm

re: #341 Charles Johnson

It really is mind-blowing what a horrible evil scumbag Chuck C. Johnson is. How does this guy live with himself?

Embedded Image

Hopefully Chuck will be a better person when he gets out of prison

343
Single-handed sailor  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:23:16pm

Yanno, all these people going back in time to attempt to kill baby Hitler may have been the reason he became such an asshole.

344
dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:23:24pm

re: #340 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

I’d just go back and grab Gavrilo Princip’s arm at the crucial moment—all the other assassins the Serbian government sent (yes—don’t give me that “Black Hand” crapola) had already chickened out. The powder keg they deliberately threw the torch into was already becoming less explosive—the Anglo-German naval Cold War probably peaked in 1912, for example.

i read where all you’d have to do would be to give the crown prince’s driver proper directions getting around sarajevo

345
b.d.  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:26:17pm
346
Timothy Watson  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:26:37pm

re: #344 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

i read where all you’d have to do would be to give the crown prince’s driver proper directions getting around sarajevo

Maybe just tell him to not go out on Serbian National Day.

347
Charles Johnson  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:27:37pm

He really is not right in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such boastful narcissism with so little reason for it. And it’s a lie - he has to know the deposition isn’t going to go well for him. The NAF’s lawyers are going to destroy him.

348
lawhawk  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:29:29pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

It’s to hide that he’s pooping in his pants that his entire world is going to come crashing down around him between this and the Gawker suits. He’s going to bleed dry with financial troubles due to legal bills.

349
Mattand  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:32:37pm

Questions about the legal issues with fantasy football? Apparently beyond stupid and not deserving an answer.

Questions about time traveling to kill baby Hitler? Finally, a question worthy of a Republican candidate.

I just don’t understand how a rational adult can look at the GOP POTUS klown kar and go, “Yep! These are the best and brightest, worthy of the highest office in the land!”

This shit show passing as a political party is going to be the death of us.

350
The Vicious Babushka  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:34:37pm

re: #328 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

Shaun wrote “poopular” but fucking autocorrect…

351
Pawn of the Oppressor  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:35:18pm

re: #299 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

i basically believe in the historicity of “jesus” on the basis of occam’s razor: it is simpler to explain “jesus” as a genius preacher and faith healer who was promoted to a deity and encrusted with familiar myths than to postulate that he was an utterly fictional creation that was propagated by crew of co-conspirators. a split-the-difference theory might be that there were several talented preachers who were conflated into a single person

I think Ockham’s Razor really says that the whole thing is just a mess, because that part of the world was a mess at the time. I think there was one guy named Yeshua somewhere who’s life ended up as a magnetic dry-erase board for pretty much everybody with a religious agenda over the next three centuries after he died.

Years ago I stumbled on a long lecture by a Jewish… researcher? Scholar? I guess… I can’t even remember his name. Young guy with a beard. ;) It’s on Youtube somewhere. He was giving a talk at a Christian church about “Hebrew Matthew” and despite my general non-interest in Christianity I was sucked in by the history he was describing. Apparently there exist copies of Matthew in Hebrew, not just Greek, and he was laying out a pretty conciliatory case for Yeshua the preacher with a real follower named Mathias. I don’t think this guy was a Messianic Jew, and I believe I found the lecture while researching Karaism. I do remember his angle that Jesus was basically a Karaite.

I tried to tell my Church of Christ ex-GF once that Jesus was far from the first or the last guy to ever get into an argument with the Orthodoxy. Very little of what’s attributed to him is new or unusual, I think the generations and cultures that came after him just didn’t know any better.

I recall that there are a couple of references in the Talmud to people floated as possibilities for “Jesus”, one of which was a guy with a couple of followers (one named Mathias) who was hung from a tree for “blasphemy”.

Then there are the Essenes, who I’ve read were fans of a local country preacher (name uncertain), and who held that his teachings ought to be added to the Bible. Which is not as extraordinary as it sounds, since the appendages of Jewish scripture were still a little bit in flux at the time. The book of Daniel was fairly recent and controversial in those days.

The Mediterranean was a place of upheaval and cultural melt in that era. Rebellious and contentious Jews, apocalyptic political events, mystery cults, Hellenization, etc. Personally I’ve always felt that the roots of Christianity were simply lower-class Hellenistic Jews who had a very poor Jewish education.

As for the Gospels… The writing is awful, the narrative is blotchy, the stories themselves are completely crackerjacks, and frankly when I read the character of Jesus critically it seems like he’s two, or possibly three different people, merged together. My verdict is that there was a real man somewhere underneath all the noise, but he was no giant. If we don’t have gods to cling to, we make them up. It’s a well-known impulse in the human species, and I think it’s entirely possible to have an entire civilization-building (and destroying) religion built on nothing at all.

Look at the modern GOP narratives for examples of how this works. ;)

352
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:35:21pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

He really is not right in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such boastful narcissism with so little reason for it. And it’s a lie - he has to know the deposition isn’t going to go well for him. The NAF’s lawyers are going to destroy him.

Embedded Image

I think he keeps playing the courtroom scene from “A Few Good Men” in his head…. thinking it’s going to be like that.

RBS

353
Stanley Sea Toujours  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:35:52pm

re: #341 Charles Johnson

It really is mind-blowing what a horrible evil scumbag Chuck C. Johnson is. How does this guy live with himself?

Embedded Image

CRAY

354
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:36:19pm

re: #344 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

i read where all you’d have to do would be to give the crown prince’s driver proper directions getting around sarajevo

You could go back in time and give him a GPS.

Oh wait….

I guess that wouldn’t work.

RBS

355
Mattand  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:38:27pm

re: #354 Reality Based Steve

You could go back in time and give him a GPS.

Oh wait….

I guess that wouldn’t work.

RBS

A steampunk GPS would. Because steampunk.

Christ, do I have to do everything around here?

356
Snarknado!  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:39:34pm

re: #351 Pawn of the Oppressor

Not getting into the Jesus argument, but I do have to say that the writing isn’t awful — unless you’re an “Attic” purist faced with koine for the first time. Matthew is Aramaic-heavy, and there are a few other problems, but most of the text is clean enough and some of it is even stylish. Particularly, Luke, John and the letters of Paul.

357
Belafon  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:39:40pm

I’ve thought about what I would change about my life if I could go back in time, and I’ve decided that I would tell my dad to stay in the Army, that I’m allergic to cats, and I could use some psychiatric help.

358
Pawn of the Oppressor  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:40:26pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

I disagree. He doesn’t have the concept of “not well” in his head. Everything is a victory for him because he’s genetically incapable of feeling shame.

Every day is a sunny day in Chucksie-land. His bread and butter is fucking with people and as long as he gets to do that, he’s “happy”.

He’d smile all the way to the noose if he was being executed, as long as he got to spit on the crowd.

359
dholmes32  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:40:48pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

He really is not right in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such boastful narcissism with so little reason for it. And it’s a lie - he has to know the deposition isn’t going to go well for him. The NAF’s lawyers are going to destroy him.

Embedded Image

It’s tempting to find out his address and send him a box of adult Depends, with a note, “Don’t forget to wear these to your deposition!”

Except that would be stooping to his level, which I don’t want to do.

360
teleskiguy  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:43:09pm

Heh.

361
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:43:52pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

He really is not right in the head. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such boastful narcissism with so little reason for it. And it’s a lie - he has to know the deposition isn’t going to go well for him. The NAF’s lawyers are going to destroy him.

Embedded Image

He’s just going to take the filfth.

362
nines09  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:46:04pm
Jeb Bush travels back to the future through the time portal after killing baby Hitler only to discover he’s now an assistant manager at Men’s Wearhouse.
363
Pawn of the Oppressor  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:47:13pm

re: #356 Snarknado!

Not getting into the Jesus argument, but I do have to say that the writing isn’t awful — unless you’re an “Attic” purist faced with koine for the first time. Matthew is Aramaic-heavy, and there are a few other problems, but most of the text is clean enough and some of it is even stylish. Particularly, Luke, John and the letters of Paul.

OK, so only *half* of it is terrible. ;)

I’ve not read it in the original Klingon but to me it reads in English like what it is: An amalgamation of a dozen different stories glued together with melodrama. It could definitely use a professional edit.

“Why is this Jesus guy preaching peace on this page… *flips* …and here he’s talking about breaking up families and starting a war? Go back and polish that a bit and bring me the next draft on Monday. Miss Smith will see you out.”

364
Eric The Fruit Bat  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:47:37pm

re: #347 Charles Johnson

The real question will be how do Daliden’s communications and the Rage Furby’s communications match up. I would bet that MoFO has also subpoenaed the metadata (and maybe payloads?) between Daliden and UpChuck from their respective carriers as a validation as to whether or not these twits are producing true copies of their communication.

L’affire Gawker should be interesting as well.

Anyone know who’s representing Daliden?

365
Shiplord Kirel  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:48:23pm

re: #340 The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge

I’d just go back and grab Gavrilo Princip’s arm at the crucial moment—all the other assassins the Serbian government sent (yes—don’t give me that “Black Hand” crapola) had already chickened out. The powder keg they deliberately threw the torch into was already becoming less explosive—the Anglo-German naval Cold War probably peaked in 1912, for example.

In the 20s, with the Great War still a raw memory, a German newspaper had a contest for the most sensational headline possible. Most of the entries dealt with things like the Second Coming of Christ, Martian invasion, and the like. The winner, however, was
“ARCHDUKE FRANZ FERDINAND ALIVE! WORLD WAR FOUGHT BY MISTAKE!”
(source: The Book of Lists)

366
lawhawk  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:49:20pm

re: #328 Charles Johnson

367
goddamnedfrank  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:49:58pm

re: #341 Charles Johnson

It really is mind-blowing what a horrible evil scumbag Chuck C. Johnson is. How does this guy live with himself?

Embedded Image

I remember Chuck specifically citing his Catholicism in the past as why he would never kill himself, back when he was indulging his grandiosity and paranoia, painting himself has having powerful enemies.

368
bratwurst  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:53:11pm

Gosh, you don’t suppose a bunch of Israel’s “friends” in Congress have the same mentality, do you? /

369
Eric The Fruit Bat  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:54:22pm

re: #361 SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN

He’s just going to take the filfth.

…snicker…

As for copping a self-incrimination, I don’t know if he’s going to be able to do that depending on what goes down during the deposition. I don’t even know if you can plead the 5th during a deposition.

370
Reality Based Steve  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:55:57pm

re: #362 nines09

[Embedded content]

I swear he looks like the kid with the banjo in “Deliverance” grown up.

RBS

371
whitebeach  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:56:06pm

re: #329 fern01

The child was white, the cops were black - that makes a difference

Yes it does, sadly. Though I don’t know the race of the other two cops involved but so far not charged. This whole case seems to have a ton of strange and unexplained angles.

372
allegro  Nov 9, 2015 • 6:56:22pm

re: #369 Eric The Fruit Bat

…snicker…

As for copping a self-incrimination, I don’t know if he’s going to be able to do that depending on what goes down during the deposition. I don’t even know if you can plead the 5th during a deposition.

Does the fifth even apply in a civil case?

373
Kafitrar  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:00:47pm

re: #324 bratwurst

Pandering asshole alert:

[Embedded content]

Maybe Trump should start by throwing out the Starbucks shops on his properties.

374
The Very Reverend Battleaxe of Knowledge  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:01:09pm

re: #344 dog philosopher ஐஒஔ௸

i read where all you’d have to do would be to give the crown prince’s driver proper directions getting around sarajevo

The most disastrous wrong turn in history….

375
SteveMcGaziBolaGate RN  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:05:39pm

re: #372 allegro

Does the fifth even apply in a civil case?

Naturally, as new thread opens…

You can certainly make an incriminating statement under oath during a civil trial or deposition. One of the things the Goldman family had in their favor in their civil suit was that OJ could not take the fifth, since he was already acquitted.

I guess part of this depends whether the deposition is the Gawker suit, which probably doesn’t involve anything criminal, or the video thing, which would involve criminal activity. I’m getting the two mixed up I think

376
Bill and Opus for 2016!  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:07:35pm

re: #329 fern01

The child was white, the cops were black - that makes a difference

Two things about this case.
First - if the two cops acted as described by the state police regarding the body camera recordings, I hope that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Second - and this comes from my knowledge on how things work in Louisiana - I really wonder if the roles of the victim and accused were reversed - ie two white cops killing a 6-year black child and critically injuring his father - if there would have been an arrest within two days’ time, or would there been the usual “blame the victim” game that we have seen played out so many times in the past year.

377
Eric The Fruit Bat  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:07:43pm

re: #372 allegro

Volokh weighs in.

Basically, it’s a mess.

378
KGxvi  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:18:32pm

re: #324 bratwurst

how many Trump (r) properties have Starbucks in them? Given the ubiquity of Starbucks, and the shamelessness of the Trump brand, I’m guessing: a lot.

that’s a rather impressive ability to shoot oneself in an intimate area.

379
sagehen  Nov 9, 2015 • 7:33:21pm

re: #376 Bill and Opus for 2016!

I really wonder if the roles of the victim and accused were reversed - ie two white cops killing a 6-year black child and critically injuring his father - if there would have been an arrest within two days’ time, or would there been the usual “blame the victim” game that we have seen played out so many times in the past year.

Sadly, I don’t wonder at all. I’m pretty sure I know the answer. So do you.

380
vgranucci  Nov 9, 2015 • 8:18:45pm

re: #17 Eclectic Cyborg

Hitler’s Time Travel Exemption Act

381
fern01  Nov 9, 2015 • 9:53:58pm

re: #376 Bill and Opus for 2016!

Two things about this case.
First - if the two cops acted as described by the state police regarding the body camera recordings, I hope that they are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

Second - and this comes from my knowledge on how things work in Louisiana - I really wonder if the roles of the victim and accused were reversed - ie two white cops killing a 6-year black child and critically injuring his father - if there would have been an arrest within two days’ time, or would there been the usual “blame the victim” game that we have seen played out so many times in the past year.

Shooting someone (and his child) because you cannot serve a warrant is NOT the role of LE - so I agree with your first.

Your second is not in doubt - it would have taken months to decide whether the shooting was justified if the roles were reversed (and the result, more than likely would be it was justified). Look at every killing that BLM has protested. Even when white cops are arrested
1. they get reasonable bail
2. they rarely, if ever, get convicted


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