Ben Carson is sick and tired of people asking questions about what he’s written, and after last night’s debate he told reporters that if they persist in asking him about his autobiography he’ll tell them to fu… uh, I mean “go jump in a lake.”

“From this point on, I get to determine what the hook is. I get to determine whether I’m going to answer what I consider silly questions,” Carson explained. “If people have substantial things to talk about, I will. But if they want to talk about, well, you know, ‘Back in this book in 1990, you know, your mother got into some trouble, and can we talk about that?’ No, I’m going to say go jump in a lake.”

Yahoo News pointed out that many of the stories that have raised questions came from Carson’s own books and speeches.

“Yeah, but I’m not going to talk about them,” Carson said. “I’m going to choose not to talk about them, because I would be talking about them from now until the election and I’m not going to let people drive this. I’m not going to let them drive it.”

Because you know that autobiography everybody keeps pestering him about? It’s not really an autobiography.

Yahoo then asked Carson why he wrote stories about his past that he no longer wants to discuss.

“Because before it was an autobiography, and it’s not an autobiography now because it’s already been written,” Carson said. 

Um, what? That there is a Palin-worthy word salad.