National Enquirer Pushes #TedCruzSexScandal

Something you really don’t want to visualize
Politics • Views: 58,648

It’s all over the Internets this morning — the National Enquirer story that Ted Cruz has been a very sinful ultra-evangelical: SHOCKING CLAIMS: Ted Cruz Caught Cheating — With 5 Secret Mistresses!

Of course, the first thing everyone thinks when they see a National Enquirer story is: “Is this tabloid BS?” The Enquirer does have a record of being accurate when it comes to sex-crazed politicians, but they also have a much longer record of inventing salacious stories to sell papers.

On the minus side, however, both Katrina Pierson (who used to work for Cruz before switching sides to Trump) and Amanda Carpenter have now categorically denied the allegations.

Carpenter on CNN:

And Pierson on Twitter, in typically sleazy Trumpian manner, leaving the door open to the possibility that the other women may have had affairs with Cruz:

And it should also be pointed out that Donald Trump is a personal friend of Enquirer CEO David Pecker, and if you think Trump would be above pulling something sleazy and dishonest to attack a rival — well, you must not have been paying attention for the last year. And the best evidence that Cruz couldn’t have had five secret mistresses is… his own repellent personality.

So the jury’s still out, but I have to say it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it were true; the most fanatical right wing evangelicals often seem to be the most likely to fall prey to their own private parts.

UPDATE at 3/25/16 9:50:41 am by Charles Johnson

Cruz has now officially denied the story as well, saying, “It is garbage, complete and utter lies. It is a tabloid smear and it has come from Donald Trump and his henchmen.”

Jump to bottom

314 comments
1
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:41:02am

I find it highly implausible that five separate women were attracted enough to Ted Cruz to have an illicit affair with him. I mean, yeah, there are 3.5 billion women on the planet, so I guess statistically it’s possible, but what are the odds of them all being in his immediate vicinity?

2
FormerDirtDart  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:45:13am

OT:
Take a moment and celebrate those pesky, intrusive, business crushing government regulations today…

3
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:45:33am

A politician getting involved in a sex scandal? I’m shocked. Shocked!

A sex scandal with Ted Cruz? Well, no one could see that one coming (and I still find it implausible).

Two of those involved have issued denials, but NE is still moving ahead with this. No word from Cruz yet, and strangely, even Trump is quiet.

I just know that popcorn supplies are likely to run low this weekend.

4
KGxvi  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:45:41am
And the best evidence that Cruz couldn’t have had five secret mistresses is… his own repellent personality.

Isn’t there an old line about power being an aphrodisiac?

5
Dr. Matt  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:46:15am

re: #1 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

I find it highly implausible that five separate women were attracted enough to Ted Cruz to have an illicit affair with him. I mean, yeah, there are 3.5 billion women on the planet, so I guess statistically it’s possible, but what are the odds of them all being in his immediate vicinity.

Six if you include his wife. But, yeah, point well-taken.

6
unproven innocence  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:48:30am

And the best evidence that Cruz couldn’t have had five secret mistresses is… his own repellent personality.

Zinggg!

7
Teukka  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:48:47am

Why am I not the least surprised that the National Enquirer went with the #TedCruzSexScandal “scoop”?
<tinfoil>Question is, is this situation just that the National Enquirer just ran with it like the opportunistic hacks they are, or if there are closer ties between that kind of press and the right wing.</tinfoil>

8
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:49:25am
9
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:51:33am

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

10
Great White Snark  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:53:05am

I used to think nothing on TV is more unreal than reality television. Ironically, in part because of Trump. Then 2016 happened, and we have an election cycle that’s more unreal fever dream and LSD bad trip than recognizable.

11
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:54:11am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

Have you tried Methadone?

12
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:54:50am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

Switch to Flonase, it is OTC now, but pricey.

Claritin is also very effective in opening the nasal passages.

13
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:55:04am
14
KerFuFFler  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:55:25am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

Isn’t that why people cut their noses off? It certainly is not to spite their face.

15
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 9:59:46am

re: #11 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

Have you tried Methadone?

looking to break the habit without a prescription but not go through the utter hell it is when I can’t breathe through my nose.

16
KerFuFFler  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:00:30am

By the way, thanks lizardim for all the moral support the other day (Tuesday night?) regarding the birth of my grandson!! They had started an induction on Sunday night and on late Wednesday my DIL underwent a c-section, so it was a trying time for the whole family———ESPECIALLY my DIL.

Mother and son are doing great! :) :) :) …….

{Lizardim community}

17
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:00:33am
18
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:01:18am

re: #12 The Vicious Babushka

Switch to Flonase, it is OTC now, but pricey.

Claritin is also very effective in opening the nasal passages.

I will check out flonase. I tried the claritin pills but they didn’t do squat I will check out their spray as well.

19
wheat-dogghazi-mailgate  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:01:49am

Just a quick visit before I go to bed. I watched Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice tonight. It wasn’t as good as one of the Avengers flicks, but not as bad as some of the critics are saying. Wonder Woman should have made an earlier appearance in uniform than she does. Six of my freshmen accompanied me. They knew nothing about WW, and maybe not much about The Batman and Superman. All six are young women, and they *really* liked WW. They said she was “cool” and they enjoyed her battle skills and power. All 30 seconds of it. (I didn’t time it, really, but we had to wait two freakin’ hours for Diana Prince to get her battle duds on, and then we see barely a minute of WW in action.)

I guess we’ll have to wait for her feature film, and hope it doesn’t get shitcanned between now and then.

I swear, DC/Warner could grab a lot of girls and women with a decent Wonder Woman flick, but instead they’ve kicked the can down the street for decades. Really really stupid.

Superman at times acts like a sulking teenager. Batman is obsessed/obsessive — pretty normal for him, IOW. Alfred does stuff. The Lois Lane character is retro and gets into mortal danger requiring Superman’s rescue. Same old same old. Luthor is bugnuts crazy. He makes the Joker look well-adjusted. We get glimpses of three other “meta-humans. One of them is already on TV, but will be played by a different actor in the movies. Why? The movies are “darker” than the TV show.

Got that right. B v S:DoJ begins and ends with funerals. How positively cheery!

20
Dr. Matt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:02:32am
21
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:03:02am

re: #16 KerFuFFler

By the way, thanks lizardim for all the moral support the other day (Tuesday?) regarding the birth of my grandson!! They had started an induction on Sunday night and on late Wednesday my DIL underwent a c-section, so it was a trying time for the whole family———ESPECIALLY my DIL.

Mother and son are doing great! :) :) :) …….

{Lizardim community}

MAZAL TOV!! You will spoil him rotten. It’s so much fun! You can sit back and laugh when your child complains about the sleepless nights, the potty training, the crying, the tantrums.

Be sure to bring sugary treats and then go home when the little toddler gets hyper.

22
Teukka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:04:28am

re: #21 The Vicious Babushka

MAZAL TOV!! You will spoil him rotten. It’s so much fun! You can sit back and laugh when your child complains about the sleepless nights, the potty training, the crying, the tantrums.

Be sure to bring sugary treats and then go home when the little toddler gets hyper.

Shhh! You’re not supposed to spell out the perks of grandparent-hood on open channels ;)

23
Pawn of the Oppressor  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:04:41am

re: #21 The Vicious Babushka

I’ve heard from many people that grandkids are all of the fun and none of the pain. It’s like rent-a-kid.

24
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:04:42am

re: #16 KerFuFFler

Can you apologize to him on our behalf for Trump, and assure him that this is not the usual state of affairs?

25
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:05:22am

re: #19 wheat-dogghazi-mailgate

I thought that they’re releasing a Wonder Woman standalone movie next year.

[edit]: Yup. They are.

26
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:06:01am
27
Great White Snark  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:07:14am
28
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:07:30am

I had to heroically resist the urge to make a snarky joke about David Pecker’s name.

29
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:09:53am

VB, I saw your post with the James Thurber bit in it.

He was a Columbus citizen. I left a link in the last thread about Thurber House, one of the old homes he lived in while a student at Ohio State. It’s pretty cool what they do to keep his humor alive.

Other LGF writers/humorists might like to know a bit about him and his history.

30
Dave In Austin  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:12:18am

Henchmen??? There is a Minion joke in there somewhere.

31
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:12:19am

re: #18 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

I will check out flonase. I tried the claritin pills but they didn’t do squat I will check out their spray as well.

Claritin didn’t do anything for me. Zyrtec daily, on the other hand, is helping me a lot here in the DFW area, which pretty much has year round allergy season.

32
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:14:41am
33
Pawn of the Oppressor  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:16:49am

I’m looking forward to an alleged mistress responding with a laugh and saying “Cruz? I’d never fuck that guy!”

She’s just saying what we’re all thinking!

34
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:18:06am

re: #8 Charles Johnson

How long until someone says “Bill Clinton denied it as well.”

35
Teukka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:18:36am

re: #34 Belafon

How long until someone says “Bill Clinton denied it as well.”

10 … 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 …

36
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:18:42am

re: #30 Dave In Austin

Henchmen??? There is a Minion joke in there somewhere.

I was thinking more of….

37
makeitstop  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:19:24am

re: #18 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

I will check out flonase. I tried the claritin pills but they didn’t do squat I will check out their spray as well.

+1 on Flonase. It really helps when I need it.

38
Nyet  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:19:25am

re: #28 Charles Johnson

I had to heroically resist the urge to make a snarky joke about David Pecker’s name.

This election season has been all about dicks so far, so we may as well let it all hang out.

39
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:20:25am

re: #35 Teukka

10 … 9 … 8 … 7 … 6 …

If Trump will say or tweet it, I will make a $10 donation to his campaign.

40
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:21:19am

re: #38 Nyet

This pud’s for you.

41
Dave In Austin  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:21:58am

re: #38 Nyet

I see what you did there……

42
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:22:05am

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

43
lizardofid  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:22:13am

re: #23 Pawn of the Oppressor

I’ve heard from many people that grandkids are all of the fun and none of the pain. It’s like rent-a-kid.

If I had known how much fun grandkids were I would have had them first!

44
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:22:50am

re: #37 makeitstop

+1 on Flonase. It really helps when I need it.

at this point i will probably need it for a while, while I break off the dependency on the other stuff. I realized I have been using some form of OTC nasal spray daily, sometimes several times daily, for the past few months and now I am getting the nose bleeds and can’t seem to breathe without it (through my nose anyway). May have to go cold turkey but it really bugs me when I try going to sleep.

45
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:23:55am

re: #31 Belafon

Claritin didn’t do anything for me. Zyrtec daily, on the other hand, is helping me a lot here in the DFW area, which pretty much has year round allergy season.

I bought Zyrtec initially (before switching to nasal spray) but it really didn’t help. Of course the fact that my known allergies are grass and dust means I am pretty much doomed.

46
Nyet  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:25:35am

Zyrtec/Cetirizine.

47
BeenHereAwhile  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:27:28am

re: #29 ObserverArt

VB, I saw your post with the James Thurber bit in it.

He was a Columbus citizen. I left a link in the last thread about Thurber House, one of the old homes he lived in while a student at Ohio State. It’s pretty cool what they do to keep his humor alive.

Other LGF writers/humorists might like to know a bit about him and his history.

Image: Thurbers-seal-cartoon.jpg

48
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:27:41am
49
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:30:21am

re: #42 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

“I know what you did last summer!

“No, not that! The other thing!”

50
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:32:35am
51
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:37:06am

re: #3 lawhawk

A politician getting involved in a sex scandal? I’m shocked. Shocked!

A sex scandal with Ted Cruz? Well, no one could see that one coming (and I still find it implausible).

Two of those involved have issued denials, but NE is still moving ahead with this. No word from Cruz yet, and strangely, even Trump is quiet.

I just know that popcorn supplies are likely to run low this weekend.

If Trump was behind the Enquirer article wouldn’t he want to lay low. It’s be like the hit man in a mob hit. Get him out of the country for some time until it all settles down a bit.

52
b.d.  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:38:45am

The Enquirer usually lets the subject make denying fools of themselves before they publish round #2.

53
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:38:47am

re: #51 ObserverArt

If Trump was behind the Enquirer article wouldn’t he want to lay low. It’s be like the hit man in a mob hit. Get him out of the country for some time until it all settles down a bit.

Trump hasn’t broken any laws. Well except for libel laws which he thinks should be easier to prosecute.

54
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:38:51am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

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

55
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:39:57am

re: #10 Great White Snark

I used to think nothing on TV is more unreal than reality television. Ironically, in part because of Trump. Then 2016 happened, and we have an election cycle that’s more unreal fever dream and LSD bad trip than recognizable.

Not LSD. This is PCP. It makes you feel small and everything is distorted.

56
lockjawcanbefun  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:40:30am

re: #36 Blind Frog Belly White

For me, it was these guys:

57
Billy Batts  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:41:34am

Cruz called Trump “a rodent.”

58
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:42:01am

re: #16 KerFuFFler

By the way, thanks lizardim for all the moral support the other day (Tuesday night?) regarding the birth of my grandson!! They had started an induction on Sunday night and on late Wednesday my DIL underwent a c-section, so it was a trying time for the whole family———ESPECIALLY my DIL.

Mother and son are doing great! :) :) :) …….

{Lizardim community}

Pictures when you can!

59
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:42:33am

re: #2 FormerDirtDart

OT:
Take a moment and celebrate those pesky, intrusive, business crushing government regulations today…

[Embedded content]

Fabulous link. Thanks!

60
qubit2020  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:43:14am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

That’s not fun…Some things that worked for me:
1) Take an oral decongestant (benadryl etc) instead of using the nasal spray.
2) Switch to a steroid based nasal spray (Flonase)
Once the “rebound” effect of a decongestant type nasal spray wears off, you can stop the above treatments.

61
Great White Snark  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:43:15am

re: #57 Billy Batts

Cruz called Trump a WHAT!?!
62
jaunte  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:43:52am

Clear evidence that Cruz is living in the 1950’s: he uses the word “henchmen.”

63
Nyet  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:45:44am

re: #62 jaunte

Clear evidence that Cruz is living in the 1950’s: he uses the word “henchmen.”

Trump does give off that Dr.Evil vibe though.

64
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:46:48am

re: #52 b.d.

The Enquirer usually lets the subject make denying fools of themselves before they publish round #2.

Yeah, they wait until the target has essentially painted themselves into a corner, then they drop the other shoe - the proof. IIRC, that’s what happened to John Edwards.

65
Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:47:26am

re: #62 jaunte

Clear evidence that Cruz is living in the 1950’s: he uses the word “henchmen.”

Yes, the PC term is “persons of hench”…

66
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:47:37am

re: #56 lockjawcanbefun

For me, it was these guys:

Embedded Image

That was my first exposure to Burgess Meridith, and it colored every other performance of his, in my mind. Never quite got his Penguin out of my head.

Oddly enough, though I always think “Penguin” when I see Burgess Meredith, I don’t think ‘Burgess Meredith’ when I see ‘Penguin’. Robin Taylor’s Penguin from Gotham is THE Penguin, IMHO.

67
BeachDem  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:47:37am

Just in case anyone is seeing Kasich as an acceptable alternative once Trump and Cruz finish their Hunger Games act, let me remind you:

Surprise! Huggy Cuddlebear John Kasich Actually Giant Jerkface

Read more at wonkette.com

The main difference with Kasich is that while Trump and Cruz are wearing underpants on their heads, Kasich is using those same underpants to create a garrote to strangle the life out of people he doesn’t like (women/hungry people/anyone he doesn’t like.)

68
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:48:25am

re: #62 jaunte

Clear evidence that Cruz is living in the 1950’s: he uses the word “henchmen.”

Dude, “henchmen” is not the preferred nomenclature. “Lackey-American”, please.

69
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:49:06am

re: #65 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)

Yes, the PC term is “persons of hench”…

Yeah, but I hear PC is killing us.
///

70
Nyet  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:49:20am

re: #65 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)

Yes, the PC term is “persons of hench”…

Henchwench.

71
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:49:28am

re: #68 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

Persons of Hench

72
makeitstop  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:50:32am

re: #57 Billy Batts

Cruz called Trump “a rodent.”

Rodents everywhere demand an apology.

73
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:51:31am

When I saw the NE’s CEO is named Pecker, I immediately laughed. I’m at the same juvenile humor level as Trump.

74
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:51:44am

re: #38 Nyet

This election season has been all about dicks so far, so we may as well let it all hang out.

You know, it’s nice outside.

Then by all means leave it out!

75
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:53:37am

re: #64 Dr Lizardo

Yeah, they wait until the target has essentially painted themselves into a corner, then they drop the other shoe - the proof. IIRC, that’s what happened to John Edwards.

I think the story is absolutely, categorically, 100% true. I’m at least 50% certain of this.

76
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:53:57am

re: #54 MsJ

Thanks I will look into it

77
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:54:05am

re: #72 makeitstop

Rodents everywhere demand an apology.

I dunno. He’s got a point…

Disclaimer: I had guinea pigs as a kid. They are just the sweetest little guys! They even purr.

78
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:55:08am

re: #60 qubit2020

That’s not fun…Some things that worked for me:
1) Take an oral decongestant (benadryl etc) instead of using the nasal spray.
2) Switch to a steroid based nasal spray (Flonase)
Once the “rebound” effect of a decongestant type nasal spray wears off, you can stop the above treatments.

Benedryl isn’t a decongestant, it’s an antihistamine. Sudafed is a decongestant. Use PE because the other stuff is bad for your heart and can raise blood pressure (it’s what’s used to make meth).

You’re spot on with the rest.

79
Barefoot Grin  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:57:54am

So Katrina is no longer on Cruz’s staff…. Who is on his staff now?

(hangs head in shame, runs away)

80
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:58:22am

re: #67 BeachDem

Just in case anyone is seeing Kasich as an acceptable alternative once Trump and Cruz finish their Hunger Games act, let me remind you:

Surprise! Huggy Cuddlebear John Kasich Actually Giant Jerkface

Read more at wonkette.com

The main difference with Kasich is that while Trump and Cruz are wearing underpants on their heads, Kasich is using those same underpants to create a garrote to strangle the life out of people he doesn’t like (women/hungry people/anyone he doesn’t like.)

He is an acceptable alternative to the GOP. Says a lot about the GOP does it not?!

81
rtth  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:58:24am

First time I have ever seen a politician who is completely immune from accusations of infidelity.

Even if it turns out that there are pictures and video, I still will believe Cruz’s claim that they were digitally-altered to look like him long before I will accept the absurd notion that there is more than one woman in the world willing to have sex with him.

82
makeitstop  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:59:14am

This whole scandal thing is generating some hilarious responses on Facebook, especially from women. Mostly along the lines of ‘Five women? Him?? No way!’

I’m friends with former Yankee Rick Cerone’s daughter, and she just put up the most gloriously foul-mouthed reaction. (Not even remotely safe for work, sorry.)

If nothing else, this thing is making the work day move a hell of a lot faster.

83
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 10:59:36am

re: #77 Blind Frog Belly White

I dunno. He’s got a point…

Embedded Image

Disclaimer: I had guinea pigs as a kid. They are just the sweetest little guys! They even purr.

I love, love, love piggies! Babies are born (golf ball sized) with fluffy hair, eyes open and eating solid food. They are way cool!!

84
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:01:03am
85
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:02:10am

re: #84 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Quick! To the liquor cabinet. And may I soon forget having seen this.

86
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:02:48am

re: #84 Kragar

GAH!! Cough. Sputter. (Falls over)

87
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:03:21am

re: #82 makeitstop

This whole scandal thing is generating some hilarious responses on Facebook, especially from women. Mostly along the lines of ‘Five women? Him?? No way!’

I’m friends with former Yankee Rick Cerone’s daughter, and she just put up the most gloriously foul-mouthed reaction. (Not even remotely safe for work, sorry.)

If nothing else, this thing is making the work day move a hell of a lot faster.

I really feel bad for Cruz’ wife. If she battles depression this sure can not be helping.

And if Trump is behind this smear and also knows about Mrs. Cruz’ issues…it shows how much of an ass he is and how low he will go.

88
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:03:45am

re: #82 makeitstop

This whole scandal thing is generating some hilarious responses on Facebook, especially from women. Mostly along the lines of ‘Five women? Him?? No way!’

I’m friends with former Yankee Rick Cerone’s daughter, and she just put up the most gloriously foul-mouthed reaction. (Not even remotely safe for work, sorry.)

If nothing else, this thing is making the work day move a hell of a lot faster.

I had an uncle who you would have thought was the opposite of what women want in a man, but he married four times, the last one staying 20 some odd years until his death.

89
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:03:49am

re: #84 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Sectional…. SEATing…

90
KGxvi  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:04:57am

re: #84 Kragar

worst karaoke performance, ever.

91
Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:07:52am

re: #88 Belafon

I had an uncle who you would have thought was the opposite of what women want in a man, but he married four times, the last one staying 20 some odd years until his death.

One can only think of people like Serge Gainsborough…

92
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:08:06am
93
Jenner7  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:08:18am

GWuXmhhu9xFwPbYW+iaewycJDozMjYX+UytcQlcTa/Urspe0moOg2TgJSkMf/TvHdh76nkHz+E6Gz03iCZEy8dkS9cLkLtBenSBUKLYjMIcDmQWT4D4mHCA2P/Fb1JJV4LchBLFDlKOoCNKMx0m2VVY8ZJXVasj3y85Bg3vk7w77I3dMTJ+X+HHc/g83/KqDtQ3UymJZdGVb+6S9E3wvFloGKELQvK2dsWSFfP34ky/OGAQK7AQxEK/A4wCYX8UBjdZKD2wsI6XSBudrSIUbi6HK6dy6eM8S3TUZEoP1PyCcgFaAGYf0ytmWAp3gI7pm

94
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:09:09am

re: #83 MsJ

I love, love, love piggies! Babies are born (golf ball sized) with fluffy hair, eyes open and eating solid food. They are way cool!!

Mine had a litter of 3 babies, whom I named Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered, after the bats in Pogo.Arithmetic was not their strong suit.

95
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:09:20am

re: #87 ObserverArt

I really feel bad for Cruz’ wife. If she battles depression this sure can not be helping.

I feel bad for her up to the point it’s possible to feel bad for someone who’s both a Goldman Sachs employee and a primary enabler of hard-core Republican theo-douchebaggery.

96
makeitstop  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:09:28am

re: #88 Belafon

I had an uncle who you would have thought was the opposite of what women want in a man, but he married four times, the last one staying 20 some odd years until his death.

For that matter, I married way above my weight class! If there’s hope for me, maybe ol’ Ted could get laid by five mistresses.

97
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:09:54am

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST BERNIEBRO MEME YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY==>

98
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:10:41am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST BERNIEBRO MEME YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY==>

[Embedded content]

O_o

99
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:11:45am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST BERNIEBRO MEME YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY==>

[Embedded content]

what?

100
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:12:14am

Closed primaries, how the fuck do they work?

101
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:12:56am

re: #96 makeitstop

For that matter, I married way above my weight class! If there’s hope for me, maybe ol’ Ted could get laid by five mistresses.

“Powah iss de ooltimate aphrodisiac.”

Who’s Kissinger Now?
102
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:13:44am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST BERNIEBRO MEME YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY==>

[Embedded content]

There are some other contenders on that person’s Tweet page.

103
Franklin  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:13:53am
104
Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:13:56am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

THIS IS THE STUPIDEST BERNIEBRO MEME YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY==>

[Embedded content]

There is a large physical divide just south of that imaginary divide, namely the Grand Canyon, which really does separate the regions north and south of it.

And there are serious differences, religious, cultural and social, between the two regions that could easily account for a major difference in the outcome of a primary election.

105
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:16:34am

re: #104 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)

There is a large physical divide just south of that imaginary divide, namely the Grand Canyon, which really does separate the regions north and south of it.

And there are serious differences, religious, cultural and social, between the two regions that could easily account for a major difference in the outcome of a primary election.

Not to mention one was a closed primary and the other was a caucus.

106
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:18:27am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

Dumbest meme so far.

Lines on a map. How does that work? Geographical differences, of a kind where MA can go for Hillary but adjacent NH goes for Bernie. Except why does it not work the other way - why isn’t UT going for Hillary in same percentages as AZ (all the Bernie-bot thinks is that it shows Bernie should have won).

Logic is not this person’s strong suit. Or reality. Or politics. They should delete their twitter, just so I don’t have to block them for sheer dumbassery.

107
IngisKahn  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:18:36am

Can I just say the Arizona primary was the worst voting experience I’ve ever had? Waited in line 2.5 hours, and that was only half as bad as some people.

108
Franklin  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:18:51am

I don’t have to update my graphic again do I?

109
Barefoot Grin  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:19:13am

re: #107 IngisKahn

Can I just say the Arizona primary was the worst voting experience I’ve ever had? Waited in line 2.5 hours, and that was only half as bad as some people.

I heard folks were ordering pizza from the line.

110
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:19:29am

re: #104 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)

There is a large physical divide just south of that imaginary divide, namely the Grand Canyon, which really does separate the regions north and south of it.

And there are serious differences, religious, cultural and social, between the two regions that could easily account for a major difference in the outcome of a primary election.

Also, pretty much nobody lives in the Utah/Arizona border area. Phoenix and SLC are like 500 miles apart.

111
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:20:29am

re: #108 Franklin

I don’t have to update my graphic again do I?

[Embedded content]

Sometimes you just can’t win!

112
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:21:20am

re: #110 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

Also, pretty much nobody lives in the Utah/Arizona border area. Phoenix and SLC are like 500 miles apart.

Think about differences between SLC and Phoenix other than miles. There’s miles upon miles of cultural differences.

113
IngisKahn  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:22:06am

re: #109 Barefoot Grin

Didn’t see that, but 10-20 people around me gave up and left and 2 pairs of voters agreed to leave because they were voting against each other.

114
Dr. Matt  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:22:11am

Good Dog….I actually just read the details of the sleaze in the Cruz Sex Scandal photo. How could this NOT be from Trump???


115
KGxvi  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:22:51am

re: #104 Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)

There is a large physical divide just south of that imaginary divide, namely the Grand Canyon, which really does separate the regions north and south of it.

And there are serious differences, religious, cultural and social, between the two regions that could easily account for a major difference in the outcome of a primary election.

Thirty seconds of internet research tells me that only 10% of the electorate in Utah are registered Democrats (40% are registered independents and 48% are registered Republicans). Arizona’s electorate is 28% registered Democrats (37% independents and 34% Republicans). Also for comparisons sake there are about 920k registered Democrats in Arizona compared to 1.24m registered voters in Utah. So there might be a slight sample size problem for the berniebro here too.

116
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:23:13am

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

117
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:23:48am

re: #110 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

Most of the two state’s populations are concentrated in the greater Salt Lake City area in UT and in the Phoenix area in AZ. Along the border, there’s a handful of cities/towns, whether it’s St. George UT, Page AZ, or Springdale UT.

Not exactly crawling with millions of voters.

Lots of national parks and federal lands though :)

118
nines09  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:23:56am

Ted Cruz has new introduction music…

From here on out every time Smarmy Face Havana Ted takes the stage this will blast with him shimmying up to the mic…..UH! TOUCH ME!!

119
Barefoot Grin  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:24:00am

re: #113 IngisKahn

Didn’t see that, but 10-20 people around me gave up and left and 2 pairs of voters agreed to leave because they were voting against each other.

ugh. I live in a small New England town, so was done in 10 minutes.

120
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:24:51am

re: #28 Charles Johnson

I had to heroically resist the urge to make a snarky joke about David Pecker’s name.

You shouldn’t have resisted; its funny!

121
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:25:31am

re: #113 IngisKahn

Didn’t see that, but 10-20 people around me gave up and left and 2 pairs of voters agreed to leave because they were voting against each other.

I mailed in an absentee ballot a week ahead of time (I probably would have changed my vote if I went to the polls on election day)

122
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:25:48am

re: #112 MsJ

Think about differences between SLC and Phoenix other than miles. There’s miles upon miles of cultural differences.

Yeah, but the stupid meme is talking about people just separated by an imaginary line, when in fact the population centers of the two states are hundreds of miles apart. I’m sure the people who live near the border in either state DO vote very similarly. All twenty three of them.

123
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:27:00am

re: #116 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Silly Kragar! Those states are uniformly covered with a thin, continuous distribution of humans!

124
EPR-radar  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:28:47am

re: #122 Sophist, Vogon Poet Laureate

Yeah, but the stupid meme is talking about people just separated by an imaginary line, when in fact the population centers of the two states are hundreds of miles apart. I’m sure the people who live near the border in either state DO vote very similarly. All twenty three of them.

Primary vs. caucus is a huge difference.

125
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:29:21am

re: #66 Blind Frog Belly White

That was my first exposure to Burgess Meridith, and it colored every other performance of his, in my mind. Never quite got his Penguin out of my head.

Oddly enough, though I always think “Penguin” when I see Burgess Meredith, I don’t think ‘Burgess Meredith’ when I see ‘Penguin’. Robin Taylor’s Penguin from Gotham is THE Penguin, IMHO.

Best character on the show.

126
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:31:12am

re: #113 IngisKahn

Didn’t see that, but 10-20 people around me gave up and left and 2 pairs of voters agreed to leave because they were voting against each other.

And naturally the Bernie Bros. blame Clinton and not the Republicans who reduced the number of polling places by 70%.

127
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:31:24am
128
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:33:57am

re: #127 Kragar

[Embedded content]

Isn’t ‘Bearing false witness’ one of the biggies? It’s one of only 10 that Jehovah bothered to carve on the stone tablets.

129
Maddies Mom  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:40:31am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

My mother was addicted to nasal clearing drops when she was a young woman & was freaked out about going to the hospital to deliver her first baby because she wouldn’t be able to use them. Then, a guy I was dating years ago was addicted to Afrin. Apparently, there’s a rebound affect with these kind of inflammation-reducing thins. Sorry I don’t have any advice on how to kick it, other than cold turkey. But you really should do it.

130
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:43:14am

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Saline nasal spray. Arm and Hammer makes one and there are many store brands.

amazon.com

131
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:44:01am

re: #127 Kragar

132
jaunte  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:44:35am

Rapid Response Director for @TedCruz:

133
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:48:00am

Is this weirdness showing up for anybody else, or just me?

Image: SIRlqmx.png

EDIT: never mind, went away on refresh.

134
jaunte  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:49:13am
135
Nyet  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:49:26am

re: #133 Testy Toad T

Work in progress.

136
HappyWarrior  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:50:44am

re: #134 jaunte

[Embedded content]

You bet it will.

137
Great White Snark  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:51:34am

Really thinking to re register GOP to vote against Trump. Then after the general i can go back to decline to state.

138
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:52:26am

re: #136 HappyWarrior

You bet it will.

Looks like the general will primarily be about who got more action in the nineties, Trump or Bill.

139
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:52:32am

re: #135 Nyet

Work in progress.

I bet it’s a button to reload a particular comment, so you can hide pics and such that are spoilered!

140
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:53:35am

Let’s find out.

Uj1SO0nnnkC9s3kCaEK+6zor8ojdBZ0P

EDIT: cool beans!

141
HappyWarrior  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:54:15am

re: #138 Big Beautiful Door

Looks like the general will primarily be about who got more action in the nineties, Trump or Bill.

Seems that way.

142
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:54:18am

re: #140 Testy Toad T

Let’s find out.

[Embedded content]

I WAS RIGHT!!!

143
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:55:27am

re: #142 Blind Frog Belly White

Yeah but I can make you go back to being uncertain by clicking the button.

144
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:55:51am

Thanks, Boss! That’ll come in handy the next time someone posts a picture of Chuckie.

145
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:56:19am

re: #143 Testy Toad T

Yeah but I can make you go back to being uncertain by clicking the button.

It’s a Schrodinger button!

146
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:56:43am

Thank you Charles. This is cool.

147
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:56:48am

re: #145 Blind Frog Belly White

It’s a Schrodinger button!

Or Heisenburg. I’m not sure which…..

148
FormerDirtDart  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:57:28am
149
Jenner7  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:58:58am

re: #148 FormerDirtDart

150
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 11:59:38am

re: #148 FormerDirtDart

I still can’t believe we’re watching a primary cycle where candidates are referring to each other by nicknames they made up.

151
Barefoot Grin  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:00:40pm

Time for a GOP debate!

152
sunnygal  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:00:45pm

re: #9 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Morning Lizards, happy friday. Not to distract from the absolutely glorious trainwreck that is the #TedCruzSexScandal it appears I have become dependent on nasal spray. Anyone ever have this issue? Any tips to get off it?

That happened to me when I was pregnant a few decades ago. My dependence and stuffed up nose went away as soon as I gave birth. Doubt that that will work for you.

153
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:04:53pm

re: #152 sunnygal

That happened to me when I was pregnant a few decades ago. My dependence and stuffed up nose went away as soon as I gave birth. Doubt that that will work for you.

That’ll be a last resort.

154
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:05:08pm

Baby Whiplash is really burning his bridges with the right wing base these days.

155
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:05:28pm
156
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:05:56pm

So, while the GOP is busy claiming that Hillary did something wrong with her emails, and that her servers could have been hacked, today’s news provides a double dose of reality.

1) Verizon was hacked, and a bunch of account information was released to the dark web - but apparently not actual credit card or other account information. Just run of the mill stuff. Yeah, right. Sure. Can’t wait to find my account was among this shit show.

2) Israel’s UAV fleet got hacked. Islamic Jihad hackers managed to break into the Israeli UAV feed, so they could see what Israel was seeing.

Oh, and the kicker? The same method Islamic Jihad used could likely be applied to US UAV fleets.

157
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:06:14pm

Yes, there’s a new “Refresh Comment” button that does exactly what it says - reloads a comment, and re-hides spoilers and private sections.

158
withak  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:06:27pm

re: #154 Charles Johnson

Baby Whiplash is really burning his bridges with the right wing base these days.

[Embedded content]

Well, he’s not wrong…

159
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:07:30pm

re: #151 Barefoot Grin

Time for a GOP debate!

“Guns, bottles, fists, knives, clubs - all the same to me. All the same to you?”

160
withak  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:08:16pm

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

9l7KEEWjEGZpz9kdVgFVU3w1nvIQQaYjUWFqRecL9ey6MU7qyyBbP7nMRTnTMuz0urfyHZYtuZs=

consectetur adipiscing elit. In ac.

161
mmmirele  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:08:41pm

re: #97 The Vicious Babushka

Erm, I voted for Hillary, and I’m below that line. I’d also note that below that line, we’re not majority one religion either. (And I lived in Utah, so I know what it’s like to live in a state with a dominant religion. Let’s not go there.)

162
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:08:53pm

re: #156 lawhawk

That is why I could only use the main screen to get to my email. This is not good. :(

163
Swift2991  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:09:49pm

The “good guy,” with gun or without, is nowhere in evidence.

164
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:10:32pm

re: #160 withak

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet,

[Embedded content]

consectetur adipiscing elit. In ac.

I can’t see Lorem Ipsum without thinking about ‘Bored of the Rings’:

Blaupunkt grundig luger frug,
Watusi snarf wazoo.
Nixon dirksen nasahist,
Rebozo bugaloo!!

165
A Mom Anon  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:10:40pm

The Stephanie Miller Show refers to “Human Irritant, Ted Cruz” almost anytime they mention him. If any of this is true, his wife and family will suffer more than he does. And if he has done this to his family, he’s a scummier scumbag than I ever thought. And that’s saying something.

I get really uncomfortable when mental illness is used as a weapon to hurt someone already hurting. Should that information be used to keep the public safe? Yes, a depressed person could use a firearm to hurt themselves or others. Someone who overmedicates themselves could kill someone in their car. A person with PTSD, a drug addict, or anyone with a host of other issues can be (BUT NOT ALWAYS, this is not an easy set of criteria to assemble and evaluate) a danger to themselves or others. But I don’t think it belongs in politics, UNLESS there is proof such issues would be a job liability for the person running for office. We have enough stigma regarding mental illness in this society, and very little help for those in need. More help, and more people speaking out about it is the only way we’ll get changes to the piecemeal and inadequate system in place now.

I had my first panic attack at AGE 5. FIVE. I have struggled with this my whole life, and yet I have managed to raise a couple of kids, be a pretty functional member of society and be able to be considered “normal” by most standards. But there are some days I literally have to will myself forward, one painful step at a time. I cringe when I see mental health used as a joke or a weapon. I know I’m not the only one. All I can say about that is: You’re not helping. Not. Helping.

166
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:11:28pm

Next question: does it refresh my pretty, pretty updings?

(No shut up of course I would never refresh the whole page just to see if people like me)

167
Great White Snark  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:13:18pm

re: #159 Blind Frog Belly White

“Guns, bottles, fists, knives, clubs - all the same to me. All the same to you?”

I’ll take Guns for a thousand Alex.

168
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:13:37pm

re: #166 Testy Toad T

Next question: does it refresh my pretty, pretty updings?

(No shut up of course I would never refresh the whole page just to see if people like me)

You can refresh your ding count just by clicking on the number.

169
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:14:42pm
170
Romantic Heretic  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:14:42pm

re: #94 Blind Frog Belly White

Mine had a litter of 3 babies, whom I named Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered, after the bats in Pogo. Arithmetic was not their strong suit.

I thought it was Bewitched, Bothered and Bemildred.

Ah, Garry Trudeau and Berkley Breathed came close but there was never as good a political comic strip creator than Walt Kelly.

171
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:15:13pm

re: #167 Great White Snark

I’ll take Guns for a thousand Alex.

“Again, Mr. Connery, that’s ‘THERAPISTS’!”

172
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:16:07pm

Thanks for all the advice earlier, went and got some flonase and a thing of simply saline. Already took my 12 hour hit of afrin so once that wears off I will try the flonase.

173
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:16:56pm

A Washington Times reporter claims he has confirmed two of the five mistresses are true.

174
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:17:18pm

re: #172 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Thanks for all the advice earlier, went and got some flonase and a thing of simply saline. Already took my 12 hour hit of afrin so once that wears off I will try the flonase.

So, you’re an Afrin-American?
/////

175
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:18:32pm

re: #157 Charles Johnson

Yes, there’s a new “Refresh Comment” button that does exactly what it says - reloads a comment, and re-hides spoilers and private sections.

Where? I’m on my iPhone and don’t see it.

176
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:18:51pm

re: #173 Big Beautiful Door

A Washington Times reporter claims he has confirmed two of the five mistresses are true.

177
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:19:44pm

re: #168 Charles Johnson

You can refresh your ding count just by clicking on the number.

I know, I was just curious about the implementation. Is the refresh actually fetching any new data, or just restoring the comment box to its original state?

[disconnects wireless, goes upthread to attempt some refreshing]

178
Romantic Heretic  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:20:32pm

re: #151 Barefoot Grin

Make sure they’re patted down for weapons before they go on stage.

179
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:21:34pm

re: #175 MsJ

I just signed in on my iPhone 5S and I do see it. Try refreshing your page on your iPhone.

180
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:21:41pm

Interesting. When offline, I can click to reveal hidden content, but I can’t refresh the comment.

Not that this behavior matters at all, just interesting.

181
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:22:28pm

re: #174 Blind Frog Belly White

So, you’re an Afrin-American?
/////

Yes, yes I am lol.

182
Jay C  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:22:40pm

re: #164 Blind Frog Belly White

Automatic upding for “Bored Of The Rings” reference.

183
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:23:14pm

re: #182 Jay C

Automatic upding for “Bored Of The Rings” reference.

Automatic upding for appreciating Bored of the Rings reference.

184
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:26:56pm

re: #177 Testy Toad T

I know, I was just curious about the implementation. Is the refresh actually fetching any new data, or just restoring the comment box to its original state?

[disconnects wireless, goes upthread to attempt some refreshing]

It calls an Ajax script that reloads the comment from the database, so if it’s been edited by the commenter, you’ll also see the changes when it refreshes.

185
uncah91  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:28:31pm

re: #172 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

Thanks for all the advice earlier, went and got some flonase and a thing of simply saline. Already took my 12 hour hit of afrin so once that wears off I will try the flonase.

I believe you can go ahead and take the Flonase now (before the Afrin starts to wear off). That should help prevent the rebound effect and will make it easier to get the Flonase to all the places it needs to go (because you aren’t trying to breath the Flonase through a stuffed up nose).

If you generally struggle with being congested by mucus, you might also try a Neti Pot. It pumps way more saline fluid through than just a saline spray. It takes a little getting used to, and some people find it too uncomfortable to keep at it, although I find it pleasant.

186
MsJ  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:31:18pm

re: #179 PhillyPretzel

I just signed in on my iPhone 5S and I do see it. Try refreshing your page on your iPhone.

Ah. Got it. Thanks!

187
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:32:10pm

re: #186 MsJ

You are welcome. :)

188
Franklin  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:34:30pm

re: #184 Charles Johnson

It calls an Ajax script that reloads the comment from the database, so if it’s been edited by the commenter, you’ll also see the changes when it refreshes.

Would it be overkill to have the comment border outline red (or whatever) when a newer version of the comment exists? To prompt the visitor to refresh. Perhaps on mega threads it would be too much overhead?

189
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:34:44pm
190
Franklin  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:36:43pm

re: #189 Charles Johnson

Why does he have to speak for Chucky? Can’t he tweet it himself? Oh wait. Facebook? What, booted from there to? Friendster?

191
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:38:16pm

re: #190 Franklin

Why does he have to speak for Chucky? Can’t he tweet it himself? Oh wait. Facebook? What, booted from there to? Friendster?

Maybe someone can point us to Chuck’s IRC channel.

192
Amory Blaine  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:39:56pm

“It is garbage, complete and utter lies. It is a tabloid smear”
~ John Edwards
//

193
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:43:16pm

re: #190 Franklin

Why does he have to speak for Chucky? Can’t he tweet it himself? Oh wait. Facebook? What, booted from there to? Friendster?

Does he have a myspace account?/

194
Franklin  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:45:13pm

wre: #193 Big Beautiful Door

Does he have a myspace account?/

His band does: myspace•com/RagingFurbies *

* link not valid. see store for details.

195
darthstar  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:45:51pm
196
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:49:50pm

re: #195 darthstar

[Embedded content]

#CruzScrewz

197
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:53:15pm

The Kentucky AG needs a new deputy; his current one just resigned after being hit with federal bribery charges stemming from his time at the Personnel Cabinet.

kentucky.com

198
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:59:02pm

Can someone check the EEG? Because I really have to wonder whether Carson is a human being or a GOP-bot, v. 3.1 (earlier iterations were the Cain-bot, Rubio-bot, and Cruz-bot).

199
Feline Fearless Leader  Mar 25, 2016 • 12:59:43pm

Good afternoon Lizards. Went from Philly to my brother’s place in western NY this morning. 62F and drizzly in the former, and 34F and snow flurries in the latter.

Apparently the memo that it is spring has not gotten here yet.

200
TedStriker  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:00:55pm

re: #196 Stanley Sea

#CruzScrewz

201
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:04:07pm
202
Patricia Kayden  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:04:38pm

re: #13 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

But Cruz will still vote for Trump if he’s the nominee, am I right? This is all a joke.

203
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:08:11pm
Pass the popcorn
204
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:12:54pm

Does anyone know someone who is a Republican but doesn’t generally pay that much attention to politics? I wonder what they are thinking of the party. If you have to tell them what’s going on, I’d like to know what they think before and after you tell them.

205
lawhawk  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:13:50pm
206
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:15:07pm

Pretty much.

207
FormerDirtDart  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:15:50pm
208
Patricia Kayden  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:16:06pm

re: #32 lawhawk

[Embedded content]

Stay classy, folks.

How would the media react if this was all happening on the Democratic side? This is the messiest election I’ve ever seen. I suppose we will see even lower depths plumbed in 2020 by GOP Presidential candidates aka Clown Car Occupants.

209
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:19:26pm

re: #208 Patricia Kayden

Stay classy, folks.

How would the media react if this was all happening on the Democratic side? This is the messiest election I’ve ever seen. I suppose we will see even lower depths plumbed in 2020 by GOP Presidential candidates aka Clown Car Occupants.

Two words: John Edwards.

A slowly-unfolding horror-show.

My gut feeling is that Cruz is guilty as charged. Unlikely that the NE comes out with this unless they had it pretty nailed on. Where is Shiplord Kirel and his insight into tabloid journalism?

210
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:24:21pm

re: #205 lawhawk

Why’s the one of them got those weird things poking out of the top of their head?

Also Batman is there.

211
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:26:23pm

re: #208 Patricia Kayden

Every election needs a sex scandal and so far this year we’ve been lacking a good one.

So now that requirement is filled.

212
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:26:52pm

re: #209 iossarian

Two words: John Edwards.

A slowly-unfolding horror-show.

My gut feeling is that Cruz is guilty as charged. Unlikely that the NE comes out with this unless they had it pretty nailed on. Where is Shiplord Kirel and his insight into tabloid journalism?

I just can’t wrap my mind around the idea of six different women intentionally being intimate with that walking morass of repulsion.

213
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:30:51pm

re: #209 iossarian

Two words: John Edwards.

A slowly-unfolding horror-show.

My gut feeling is that Cruz is guilty as charged. Unlikely that the NE comes out with this unless they had it pretty nailed on. Where is Shiplord Kirel and his insight into tabloid journalism?

I agree, especially in light of the recent Gawker judgement of $100 million plus.

214
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:32:44pm

re: #185 uncah91

I believe you can go ahead and take the Flonase now (before the Afrin starts to wear off). That should help prevent the rebound effect and will make it easier to get the Flonase to all the places it needs to go (because you aren’t trying to breath the Flonase through a stuffed up nose).

If you generally struggle with being congested by mucus, you might also try a Neti Pot. It pumps way more saline fluid through than just a saline spray. It takes a little getting used to, and some people find it too uncomfortable to keep at it, although I find it pleasant.

Or, you could waterboard yourself.

215
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:33:15pm

I think there’s probably some truth to the Enquirer story. They’re sleazy as hell, but this is the type of story they actually get right sometimes. I wouldn’t bet money on it, but I’m leaning toward believing them.

216
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:33:35pm

re: #213 Dr Lizardo

I agree, especially in light of the recent Gawker judgement of $100 million plus.

Gawker has to pay not because their story was wrong.

It was true - Hogan has sex with the wife of his friend in their house, and Hogan kept referring to his daughter’s real/possible bfs as “n*****s”.

Gawker is paying because they violated Terry Bollea’s privacy by making the video public.

217
lizardofid  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:33:38pm

re: #214 The Vicious Babushka

Or, you could waterboard yourself.

Neti Pot!

218
Dr. Matt  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:35:20pm

BREAKING and EXCLUSIVE NEWS: Rage Furby doesn’t believe the Ted Cruz Scandal is true.

gotnews.com looked into the sex scandal allegations surrounding Senator Ted Cruz and finds them utterly lacking.

We sent people everywhere to hunt this one down. Frankly we don’t think Cruz has it in him.

219
Shiplord Kirel  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:35:27pm

re: #209 iossarian

Two words: John Edwards.

A slowly-unfolding horror-show.

My gut feeling is that Cruz is guilty as charged. Unlikely that the NE comes out with this unless they had it pretty nailed on. Where is Shiplord Kirel and his insight into tabloid journalism?

Here I am.
My instinct is that they have the goods on Cruz. Their big score with Edwards is often cited of their ability, but there is a dollars and cents motivation for fact checking as well: They lost megabucks on a defamation settlement a while back and the editors are not going to let it happen again.

220
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:36:20pm

re: #214 The Vicious Babushka

Or, you could waterboard yourself.

To me, a nettie pot has about the same effect as getting water in your nose from swimming, but you’re controlling it.

221
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:36:31pm

re: #213 Dr Lizardo

I agree, especially in light of the recent Gawker judgement of $100 million plus.

I did not see before that the reporter is apparently the same guy who broke the John Edwards story. Increment truthiness as appropriate!

222
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:38:02pm

re: #219 Shiplord Kirel

Here I am.
My instinct is that they have the goods on Cruz. Their big score with Edwards is often cited of their ability, but there is a dollars and cents motivation for fact checking as well: They lost megabucks on a defamation settlement a while back and the editors are not going to let it happen again.

Thanks; good to hear your input. I’d imagine they’d have ran this past legal as well, given, as you said, they lost big $$$ on a recent defamation suit.

223
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:38:38pm

I asked the other day, in regards to the 2 week break in GOP contents, how Trump would find a way to control the media cycle given the quiet period.

Now we know how.

224
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:38:55pm

[sighs, closes BREAK FOR POPCORN IN CASE OF CONTESTED CONVENTION cabinet]

225
FormerDirtDart  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:39:49pm

re: #218 Dr. Matt

BREAKING and EXCLUSIVE NEWS: Rage Furby doesn’t believe the Ted Cruz Scandal is true.

Well, if we see Bill Kristol come out claiming the scandal is false I guess that would confirm it’s validity

226
CleverToad  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:40:05pm

I agree with what Decatur Deb commented in the last thread. This is just your standard garden-variety family-values politician/televangelist sexcapade. I’d be happy to see Cruz’s political career hamstrung. I’d be far happier to see him crash over his G*d-awful political positions, and in a way that turns over some Seven Mountains rocks to expose the Dominionist cockroaches to sunlight.

227
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:40:08pm

re: #217 lizardofid

Nettie Pot!

With the usual caveats about using sterile saline, since you don’t want brain-eating amoebas.

228
451_Montag  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:43:42pm

re: #224 Testy Toad T

[sighs, closes BREAK FOR POPCORN IN CASE OF CONTESTED CONVENTION cabinet]

I wouldn’t yet. This actually might (gag) humanise Ted “vinegar strokes” Cruz and backfire on Stumpy Trump as being a smear to far.

A little bit of televised seeking for forgiveness, a bit of Manly manliness (hound dog Ted) spin and a touch of Trump hate might pull him through.

Or Cruz is fucked. Who knows this cycle?

229
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:44:59pm

re: #228 451_Montag

Or Cruz is fucked. Who knows this cycle?

My verdict is: fucked (if the story is true). He won’t survive the drip drip drip of further details.

230
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:45:05pm

Cruz blames Trump for affair story, hints he wouldn’t support him in general election

The Texas lawmaker blamed his rival for the National Enquirer story published Friday that alleged Cruz has had extramarital affairs, and after hits from Trump’s campaign about the mental health of his wife, the firebrand senator appears to be backing away from his pledge to support Trump if the billionaire real estate mogul wins the GOP nomination.

How wishy washy.

231
gocart mozart  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:46:29pm
232
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:46:46pm

re: #228 451_Montag

I wouldn’t yet. This actually might (gag) humanise Ted “vinegar strokes” Cruz and backfire on Stumpy Trump as being a smear to far.

A little bit of televised seeking for forgiveness, a bit of Manly manliness (hound dog Ted) spin and a touch of Trump hate might pull him through.

Or Cruz is fucked. Who knows this cycle?

If the truth comes out in dribs and drabs, and it becomes undeniable, then Cruz’s categorical denial becomes a Big Lie, and he’s toast.

If this is the end of the story - a quick article and a couple quick denials, I could see it hurting Trump as the most likely person to have pushed the story.

233
451_Montag  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:47:50pm

re: #229 iossarian

My verdict is: fucked (if the story is true). He won’t survive the drip drip drip of further details.

Possibly, but does the fear of Trump outweigh the need for Cruz to be the GOPs only hope?

234
Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:48:29pm

re: #185 uncah91

I believe you can go ahead and take the Flonase now (before the Afrin starts to wear off). That should help prevent the rebound effect and will make it easier to get the Flonase to all the places it needs to go (because you aren’t trying to breath the Flonase through a stuffed up nose).

If you generally struggle with being congested by mucus, you might also try a Neti Pot. It pumps way more saline fluid through than just a saline spray. It takes a little getting used to, and some people find it too uncomfortable to keep at it, although I find it pleasant.

Thanks, I have a netipot, need to remember to use it :)

235
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:48:31pm

re: #229 iossarian

My verdict is: fucked (if the story is true). He won’t survive the drip drip drip of further details.

Yep. Unlike Trump, who has gleefully admitted to his infidelities, Cruz is selling himself as nothing less than a perfect paragon of Christian virtue.

236
KerFuFFler  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:48:33pm

re: #58 ObserverArt

Pictures when you can!

My favorite pic so far——-a tender moment a few hours after my grandson was born. Enjoying his mom’s heartbeat and warmth….

DIL with her New Son
237
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:48:35pm

re: #232 Blind Frog Belly White

If the truth comes out in dribs and drabs, and it becomes undeniable, then Cruz’s categorical denial becomes a Big Lie, and he’s toast.


Lyin’ Ted
- Drumpfskind calls him.

238
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:49:58pm

re: #233 451_Montag

Possibly, but does the fear of Trump outweigh the need for Cruz to be the GOPs only hope?

Well, always assuming the story is true, I think this is something that even the mighty GOP establishment cannot overcome in Cruz’s favor. Then the only non-Trump option is presumably a blow-it-up-at-the-convention move.

239
451_Montag  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:50:14pm

re: #236 KerFuFFler

That is just a beautiful picture!!

I have 3 just like it for each of mine. Single best moments of my life seeing my wife bonding with them.

240
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:50:25pm

re: #229 iossarian

My verdict is: fucked (if the story is true). He won’t survive the drip drip drip of further details.

Will Trump keep Katrina Bullet Necklace on as spokesperson?

241
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:51:05pm

re: #240 Stanley Sea

Will Trump keep Katrina Bullet Necklace on as spokesperson?

Are we sure she’s not the one who helped craft his?

242
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:51:33pm

re: #241 freetoken

Are we sure she’s not the one who helped craft his?

Dayum.

243
PhillyPretzel  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:51:39pm

re: #240 Stanley Sea

How do you think that Trump person came up with said story?

244
Stanley Sea  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:52:07pm
245
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:52:14pm

re: #240 Stanley Sea

Will Trump keep Katrina Bullet Necklace on as spokesperson?

I would like to take this opportunity to go slightly off-topic and state that use of the term “spox” is the single most annoying aspect of this interminable campaign, and that’s saying something.

246
Bass Reeves  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:52:42pm

Why exactly are we assuming marital infidelity will hurt Cruz’s chances significantly? Did I miss something or is this still not the party of Newt Gingrich, John McCain and Mark Sanford? Bristol Palin? Did I miss the memo where IOKIYAR was rescinded?

If this came from either Trump’s or Rubio’s camps (which I don’t entirely believe), all it was intended to do was give the candidate a goose in the primary, but Republibots are gonna pull that lever in the general regardless. Hell, the women are even relatively young and pretty, so Cruz’s backers could cast him as a following in the tradition of ‘strong, powerful men who attract nubile followers’**.

Look at it this way…there is no morality play between Trump and Cruz. Cruz infidelity doesn’t make Trump look any better whatsoever to the evangelicals. The Repub base already excuses all manner of ills, and Ted has the get out of jail free card of public ‘Christian’ apology.

247
uncah91  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:53:08pm

re: #214 The Vicious Babushka

Or, you could waterboard yourself.

[snort]

248
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:54:45pm

re: #246 Bass Reeves

Because Cruz would have to go through the penance stage.

And that takes time.

And time is running out.

249
451_Montag  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:54:48pm

re: #238 iossarian

Well, always assuming the story is true, I think this is something that even the mighty GOP establishment cannot overcome in Cruz’s favor. Then the only non-Trump option is presumably a blow-it-up-at-the-convention move.

True. But the GOPs aim isn’t to beat Trump, just deny him enough for an outright win Kasich can’t do that.

Once at convention I see a non-runner being pushed forward, Ted gets a nice job for taking one for the team.

250
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:54:50pm

Good grief. Some of these Bernie Sanders followers are out of their fucking minds.

251
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:57:11pm

WE SENT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

252
Maddies Mom  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:57:58pm

re: #245 iossarian

I would like to take this opportunity to go slightly off-topic and state that use of the term “spox” is the single most annoying aspect of this interminable campaign, and that’s saying something.

Could. Not. Agree. More.

253
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:58:19pm

re: #249 451_Montag

True. But the GOPs aim isn’t to beat Trump, just deny him enough for an outright win Kasich can’t do that.

Once at convention I see a non-runner being pushed forward, Ted gets a nice job for taking one for the team.

I guess that could still theoretically happen. I do think that if this is true, it swings the needle away from Cruz enough that Trump could win outright. Either way, though, he would have no way to become the nominee.

254
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:58:20pm

re: #250 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Some of these Bernie Sanders followers are out of their fucking minds.

I’ll look at it later, but I don’t think these thing mean anything until June.

255
Dr Lizardo  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:58:40pm

re: #251 Charles Johnson

WE SENT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

In his fevered imagination, presumably.

256
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 1:59:44pm

re: #238 iossarian

Well, always assuming the story is true, I think this is something that even the mighty GOP establishment cannot overcome in Cruz’s favor. Then the only non-Trump option is presumably a blow-it-up-at-the-convention move.

If I were Trump, and I had this card in my hand, this is pretty much exactly when I’d play it. Everyone else is gone, and the anti-Trump forces were starting to coalesce around Cruz as less dangerous to the party. That could have led to a contested convention.

Assuming it’s true, with the next primary not for a week and a half, there’s a nice long time for the story to roll out and force Cruz to admit his denial was a lie.

Cruz will either drop out, or drop like a rock. It’s too late for Kasich to catch up and fill in that void, and everyone else is gone. Not sure how you keep Trump from 1237 long before Cleveland in that case.

If he played the card earlier, the anti-trump forces could have chosen someone else. If it were NOT true, the time to have the story come out would have been late next week, close enough to the Winner Take All WI primary that it depresses the Cruz vote and Trump wins, but not long enough for it to be knocked down and sympathy for Cruz to grow.

257
gocart mozart  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:01:26pm
258
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:02:57pm
259
Bass Reeves  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:03:52pm

re: #248 freetoken

You think it will take longer than a week? Or do you think the NE and SW portions of this country really care about infidelity THAT much?

Edit: If I *had* to choose between Trump and Cruz, marital infidelity is literally the last thing I would use to make my determination, after hand size.

260
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:05:04pm

re: #256 Blind Frog Belly White

Agreed.

261
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:06:12pm
262
thedopefishlives  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:06:23pm

re: #251 Charles Johnson

WE SENT PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

Embedded Image

With what money? Gawker would like to know.

Afternoon/evening Lizardim.

263
Wendell Zurkowitz (slave to the waffle light)  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:06:40pm

all of this tabloid sliming is just a warm-up for what to expect in the general.

the GOP is going to initiate impeachment proceedings against HRC the moment she wins the nomination

264
plansbandc  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:06:46pm

The sexy Teddy memes make me want to crawl in a hole and die.

265
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:07:12pm

Quite apart from anything else, and again just assuming that the story is true, how does Cruz go out and campaign for 10 days if his marriage is on the rocks?

266
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:09:42pm

re: #265 iossarian

Quite apart from anything else, and again just assuming that the story is true, how does Cruz go out and campaign for 10 days if his marriage is on the rocks?

Depends on when his wife knew.

267
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:11:20pm

re: #265 iossarian

I guess that was the strategy behind running this article.

268
piratedan  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:11:32pm

re: #251 Charles Johnson

the point is, did he have it in them?

269
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:12:20pm

re: #266 Belafon

Depends on when his wife knew.

So, when Drumpfskind threatened to “spill the beans” on Cruz’s wife, what Drumpfskind really meant is that he knew that Mrs. Cruz knew about Cruz’s alleged affairs!

270
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:12:46pm

re: #268 piratedan

the point is, did he have it in them?

Fosse could choreograph to that…

271
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:15:26pm

re: #259 Bass Reeves

victoria

You think it will take longer than a week? Or do you think the NE and SW portions of this country really care about infidelity THAT much?

Wisconsin. If Cruz can’t stop Drumpfskind in Wisconsin then the race is probably over.

I don’t know how many Wisconsites will be persuaded by this story. But it keeps Cruz on the defensive and consumed.

272
Mike Lamb  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:16:20pm

re: #250 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Some of these Bernie Sanders followers are out of their fucking minds.

[Embedded content]

Putting your money on a hypothetical failed Clinton presidency that leads to total GOP control being worse than total GOP control NOW, behind one of the two most far right candidates in presidential electoral history (at least the most far right that have a real chance of being nominated)?

Insane doesn’t even begin to cover it.

273
Mike Lamb  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:19:11pm

re: #250 Charles Johnson

And the response still drips of privilege, and lacks any understanding of what will actually happen versus what might. The jackass is willing to wager a lot of other people’s future on his “political instincts”.

274
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:19:44pm

re: #250 Charles Johnson

Good grief. Some of these Bernie Sanders followers are out of their fucking minds.

[Embedded content]

I actually said something similar back in 2000, that “things had to get worse before they could get better.” That was literally my rationale for voting for Nader, I though Gore was a joke and even though I hated Bush even more I wasn’t thinking at all about the people who would suffer, and as it turns out die, under Bush. It was easily one of the most naïve, regrettable and immature positions I’ve ever held.

275
EPR-radar  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:23:19pm

re: #272 Mike Lamb

Putting your money on a hypothetical failed Clinton presidency that leads to total GOP control being worse than total GOP control NOW, behind one of the two most far right candidates in presidential electoral history (at least the most far right that have a real chance of being nominated)?

Insane doesn’t even begin to cover it.

It’s like a spectator saying to someone struggling to keep all the holes in a deteriorating Dutch dike plugged:

“What you should really do is blow the dike up with explosives. Who cares if the whole country is inundated by the North Sea?”

276
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:23:32pm

re: #274 goddamnedfrank

It’s tough though. There is a legitimate point at which progressives have to withhold their votes from a too-centrist candidate, otherwise there’s no leverage whatsoever.

Having said that, yes, a Nader vote was with hindsight a bad idea, and a non-Clinton vote this year would be similarly bad.

277
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:25:08pm

re: #266 Belafon

Depends on when his wife knew.

Somewhat, but if it’s in the media all day every day it’s still going to be tough to be seen to be leaving the family to deal with it by themselves at home, regardless of what the actual emotions may or may not be.

278
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:25:37pm
279
freetoken  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:26:04pm

re: #277 iossarian

The oldest daughter is old enough to be able to see and read the headline.

Imagine the awkwardness.

280
Belafon  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:28:17pm

re: #276 iossarian

It’s tough though. There is a legitimate point at which progressives have to withhold their votes from a too-centrist candidate, otherwise there’s no leverage whatsoever.

Having said that, yes, a Nader vote was with hindsight a bad idea, and a non-Clinton vote this year would be similarly bad.

We call those the primaries.

Edit: People get it backwards. Withholding your vote in the general election doesn’t make officials worry about you. That makes those who vote count more.

You always vote in the general elections, that way they are dependent on you getting into the office. Then you really scare them in the primaries.

This is the one lesson we should be taking from the Tea Party.

281
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:29:16pm

re: #274 goddamnedfrank

I actually said something similar back in 2000, that “things had to get worse before they could get better.” That was literally my rationale for voting for Nader, I though Gore was a joke and even though I hated Bush even more I wasn’t thinking at all about the people who would suffer, and as it turns out die, under Bush. It was easily one of the most naïve, regrettable and immature positions I’ve ever held.

Its important to remember, however, that you aren’t responsible for the Bush Presidency and the harm it caused, not even a little bit. Even if you had voted for Gore instead of Nader, Bush would’ve won. Heck even if you had voted for Gore instead of Nader in Florida, Bush still would’ve won. Unless you were a Supreme Court Justice in 2000, your one vote was incapable of changing the results of the presidential election.

282
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:31:45pm

It’s amusing how swiftly and thoroughly the alt-right Trump supporters constructed a story blaming Ben Shapiro for blocking Allum Bakhari from publishing the Cruz story in early February. There’s really no reason to think that Shapiro’s editor-at-large title was anything but ceremonial after his Friends of Hamas debacle, and Breitbart’s overall bias has been so thoroughly behind Trump it strains credulity to think they sat on this to help Cruz.

283
Mike Lamb  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:32:30pm

re: #276 iossarian

It’s tough though. There is a legitimate point at which progressives have to withhold their votes from a too-centrist candidate, otherwise there’s no leverage whatsoever.

Having said that, yes, a Nader vote was with hindsight a bad idea, and a non-Clinton vote this year would be similarly bad.

It was at least arguable in 2000 that we wouldn’t see an insane divergence in policies between Gore and Bush. Now? No freaking chance. I mean, to believe that it would be better to “burn the village to save it” necessarily rests on a thesis that Obama hasn’t moved the ball down the field in a way that benefits the country. It would probably take President Unicorn’s first post-Trump/Cruz term just to get back to where Obama will leave office (if not more). I guarantee that the assumptions that clown is making when he says Bernie or bust resemble the assumptions underlying Paul Ryan’s budget…

284
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:33:09pm

re: #280 Belafon

We call those the primaries.

True… up to a point. If a candidate tacks to the center it’s presumably in order to win votes from that part of the spectrum. If those votes need to be “won”, why not those at the end of the spectrum as well?

Note I’m not advocating for a withheld vote in this particular election AT ALL.

285
mmmirele  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:34:39pm

re: #279 freetoken

The oldest daughter is old enough to be able to see and read the headline.

Imagine the awkwardness.

You know, when I was eight years old, the same age as the older Cruz daughter, I was reading the newspaper and Time magazine, but there were still some things I didn’t get. I think “my dad is accused of having multiple affairs” might have sailed right above my head. Then again, this was 1968 and an entirely different time.

286
Testy Toad T  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:35:08pm

Actually serious question: what of all of those “suspended” campaigns?

I mean… Jeb! can fix it?

287
Unabogie  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:37:16pm

Holy shit, someone on my Facebook page posted this.

nodisinfo.com

It’s one of those “false flag” conspiracy sites. But this is a person I had no idea bought into this garbage. I fear for humanity.

288
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:37:56pm

re: #281 Big Beautiful Door

Its important to remember, however, that you aren’t responsible for the Bush Presidency and the harm it caused, not even a little bit. Even if you had voted for Gore instead of Nader, Bush would’ve won. Heck even if you had voted for Gore instead of Nader in Florida, Bush still would’ve won. Unless you were a Supreme Court Justice in 2000, your one vote was incapable of changing the results of the presidential election.

Yes and no. Technically my vote didn’t matter because Gore took Washington State, which is where I was living at the time. However I think it’s dangerous to just say one’s vote doesn’t matter in any circumstance, even retrospectively when that appears to be the case. Because even if we don’t elect based on the popular vote it does very much shape the narrative behind and perceived mandate of a President. We really don’t know how the Supreme Court would have ruled if Bush had lost the popular vote by 3 million votes instead of roughly 550K.

I fully believe that everyone who can vote should, and that while throwing one’s vote away on a protest is a valid exercise of that right, you are still throwing it away.

289
Khal Wimpo (not-so-Super Tuesday's Child)  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:38:30pm

My fave quotation from this dumpster fire of a day in this absolute shit-show of a presidential campaign:

“The ‘I think Brick killed a guy’ moment came about 8 months ago in this campaign.”

“I stabbed a guy in the heart. With a trident.” “I think you might want to find a safe house or a relative close by. Because I’m pretty sure the police are going to be looking for you for murder.”

Video

290
Charles Johnson  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:38:47pm
291
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:40:59pm

re: #236 KerFuFFler

My favorite pic so far——-a tender moment a few hours after my grandson was born. Enjoying his mom’s heartbeat and warmth….

[Embedded content]

Cute! Thanks for posting it.

292
Kragar  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:43:03pm

re: #290 Charles Johnson

From the same site:

293
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:45:56pm
294
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:48:26pm
295
iossarian  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:51:13pm

OK - Armageddon outta here. Have a great weekend everyone!

296
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:54:53pm

re: #288 goddamnedfrank

Yes and no. Technically my vote didn’t matter because Gore took Washington State, which is where I was living at the time. However I think it’s dangerous to just say one’s vote doesn’t matter in any circumstance, because even if we don’t elect based on the popular vote it does very much shape the narrative behind and perceived mandate of a President. We really don’t know how the Supreme Court would have ruled if Bush had lost the popular vote by 3 million votes instead of roughly 550K.

I fully believe that everyone who can vote should, and that while throwing one’s vote away on a protest is a valid exercise of that right, you are still throwing it away.

Just speaking in terms of an individual voter, the likelihod that your vote will determine the outcome of a national presidential election is basically zero. You have roughly two and a half million to few votes to have given Gore a 3 million vote edge over Bush. It is Hillary’s job to move the needle to get the millions of votes she needs to win in November.

297
makeitstop  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:55:22pm

re: #252 Maddies Mom

Could. Not. Agree. More.

I blame Twitter.

298
goddamnedfrank  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:58:27pm

re: #296 Big Beautiful Door

Just speaking in terms of an individual voter, the likelihod that your vote will determine the outcome of a national presidential election is basically zero.

Here’s my point, thinking of yourself simply “in terms of an individual voter” is an intrinsically self centered and useless perspective when the entire exercise of electing a President is collective.

299
ObserverArt  Mar 25, 2016 • 2:59:10pm

re: #274 goddamnedfrank

I actually said something similar back in 2000, that “things had to get worse before they could get better.” That was literally my rationale for voting for Nader, I though Gore was a joke and even though I hated Bush even more I wasn’t thinking at all about the people who would suffer, and as it turns out die, under Bush. It was easily one of the most naïve, regrettable and immature positions I’ve ever held.

Yikes!

300
Khal Wimpo (not-so-Super Tuesday's Child)  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:02:35pm

re: #282 goddamnedfrank

It’s amusing how swiftly and thoroughly the alt-right Trump supporters constructed a story blaming Ben Shapiro for blocking Allum Bakhari from publishing the Cruz story in early February. There’s really no reason to think that Shapiro’s editor-at-large title was anything but ceremonial after his Friends of Hamas debacle, and Breitbart’s overall bias has been so thoroughly behind Trump it strains credulity to think they sat on this to help Cruz.

The anti-Semitism of Shapiro’s former comrades in arms is coming out into the open now. This is about 2 Photoshops away from Der Giftpilz:

301
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:04:00pm

re: #296 Big Beautiful Door

Just speaking in terms of an individual voter, the likelihod that your vote will determine the outcome of a national presidential election is basically zero. You have roughly two and a half million to few votes to have given Gore a 3 million vote edge over Bush. It is Hillary’s job to move the needle to get the millions of votes she needs to win in November.

But what won the White House for Bush was less than 2000 votes in a single state, where the Butterfly Ballot likely lost Gore enough votes to lose the state. Nader got over 97,000 votes in Florida. Take away Nader, and Gore wins, even if he only gains 10% of those votes (net).

302
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:05:24pm

re: #300 Khal Wimpo (not-so-Super Tuesday’s Child)

The anti-Semitism of Shapiro’s former comrades in arms is coming out into the open now. This is about 2 Photoshops away from Der Giftpilz:

[Embedded content]

Whoa. That’s some serious antisemitism.

303
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:06:30pm

re: #298 goddamnedfrank

Here’s my point, thinking of yourself simply “in terms of an individual voter” is an intrinsically self centered and useless perspective when the entire exercise of electing a President is collective.

But what is the best way of exercising your vote in that collective exercise? I’m submitting that the best way to do so is to give sober consideration to each of the candidates based on their strengths, weaknesses and positions on the issues and to vote accordingly. Voting for Candidate Y out of fear that if you vote for Candidate X, Candidate Z will win the election is a vote cast based on a falsity: that your individual vote could determine who the President will be. I will vote for Hillary because I think she is, by far, the best candidate for President running in this election cycle, but I will do so knowing that my vote will not effect the outcome of the election.

304
Big Beautiful Door  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:09:43pm

re: #301 Blind Frog Belly White

But what won the White House for Bush was less than 2000 votes in a single state, where the Butterfly Ballot likely lost Gore enough votes to lose the state. Nader got over 97,000 votes in Florida. Take away Nader, and Gore wins, even if he only gains 10% of those votes (net).

That is absolutely true. However my only point is that as an individual voting for Nader in Florida, changing your vote to Gore would not have effected the outcome of the election. So individual voters don’t have to worry about strategic voting. They should take their vote seriously, research the candidates and the issues, and vote accordingly.

305
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:12:13pm

re: #303 Big Beautiful Door

But what is the best way of exercising your vote in that collective exercise? I’m submitting that the best way to do so is to give sober consideration to each of the candidates based on their strengths, weaknesses and positions on the issues and to vote accordingly. Voting for Candidate Y out of fear that if you vote for Candidate X, Candidate Z will win the election is a vote cast based on a falsity: that your individual vote could determine who the President will be. I will vote for Hillary because I think she is, by far, the best candidate for President running in this election cycle, but I will do so knowing that my vote will not effect the outcome of the election.

Only if you assume that you are the only person who votes that way. 97,000+ people argued that way in Florida in 2000, and we got George Bush.

306
The Vicious Babushka  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:13:07pm

re: #300 Khal Wimpo (not-so-Super Tuesday’s Child)

The anti-Semitism of Shapiro’s former comrades in arms is coming out into the open now. This is about 2 Photoshops away from Der Giftpilz:

[Embedded content]

That literally is a Nazi illustration with Baby Whiplash’s head Photoshopped over it.

307
Backwoods_Sleuth  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:15:51pm

re: #215 Charles Johnson

I think there’s probably some truth to the Enquirer story. They’re sleazy as hell, but this is the type of story they actually get right sometimes. I wouldn’t bet money on it, but I’m leaning toward believing them.

I’m just hoping there isn’t a sex tape…

308
Blind Frog Belly White  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:16:08pm

re: #304 Big Beautiful Door

That is absolutely true. However my only point is that as an individual voting for Nader in Florida, changing your vote to Gore would not have effected the outcome of the election. So individual voters don’t have to worry about strategic voting. They should take their vote seriously, research the candidates and the issues, and vote accordingly.

No, because while it is true that a single vote will almost never decide an election, every single vote counts. If only one single person does as you suggest, no effect. If everyone does? Florida, 2000. George Bush.

309
Whack-A-Mole  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:34:44pm

re: #165 A Mom Anon

If only I had a thousand more updings to give…

310
retired cynic  Mar 25, 2016 • 3:35:21pm

re: #44 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

nogOjb+LYutdZM/OXmAAIPk5EyxQ9YsyyVDvBvLrEPsm8jZnW2EQUhtXybfo7ObXBekm/xIhfdrh0KD7ndOLyvnEqWPnaTolAxSsrS7PfR4b1Qx3BqAhAM1rmjs/tFiJIQ64gGFdjWQ8v/vU69g9B3izHkk9UWKFKsAw/PMgmir/DsD9BqkhJ8FM6mSvOOmlJTDB5oCPmI1t2Xm/poMiHCysWZ+77lzOWTHeS8ZuejXn5+79hMuQskpD/x7mHWTCxrJWeq9ihMCOjpOEml4OVFkFR6KWX4tHD5/WiXhGEse/ea3aWBm9atg+FLbGduDh352z+pW6ZhPksGbRi1ljR/RCne9HjgXOFXlyCtBuCcg=

311
Sophist, Premature Anti-Trumpist  Mar 25, 2016 • 4:24:06pm

re: #157 Charles Johnson

Yes, there’s a new “Refresh Comment” button that does exactly what it says - reloads a comment, and re-hides spoilers and private sections.

Let me know when you come up with a button that let’s me under whatever I’m re-hiding.

312
TedStriker  Mar 25, 2016 • 4:33:49pm

re: #215 Charles Johnson

I think there’s probably some truth to the Enquirer story. They’re sleazy as hell, but this is the type of story they actually get right sometimes. I wouldn’t bet money on it, but I’m leaning toward believing them.

The tabloids that have been around a long time, like the National Enquirer, have become grandmasters at avoiding libel suits, by having just enough supporting truth in their outrageous, titillating stories.

I’m with you…Cruz is most likely guilty as sin.

313
Shimshon  Mar 26, 2016 • 9:55:40am

re: #312 TedStriker

The tabloids that have been around a long time, like the National Enquirer, have become grandmasters at avoiding libel suits, by having just enough supporting truth in their outrageous, titillating stories.

I’m with you…Cruz is most likely guilty as sin.

How is that possible? The party would vet someone with that much dirty laundry? Are they really trying to sabotage their chances knowing a Democrat will get elected and they can just stay being partisans in Congress not getting anything done but stirring up their base?

314
readyfreddy815  Mar 26, 2016 • 1:08:32pm

re: #15 Brother Holy Cruise Missile of Mild Acceptance

I think you’re either going to be stuck with suffering through it until your nose clear up naturally, or you’re going to have to get a script from your doc. My wife had this happen to her too. The nasal spray you’re talking about is infamously super-addictive for the reasons you’ve discovered. Her doc had to prescribe her steroids to reduce inflammation while she weened herself. Sorry to hear about your troubles. I know it sucks.


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