Sarah Palin Poetry Slam of the Day: “Dear Julian, Please Forgive Me”

Word salad free verse
Humor • Views: 36,664

In this shining new era of the Trump Horror, all things are fluid, all positions are changeable, all convictions are malleable, and now Sarah Palin is begging forgiveness from Wikileaks and Julian Assange.

Palin’s word salad screeds are always much more amusing when cast as free verse, so without further ado, our Sarah Palin poetry slam of the day, based on this Facebook post.

DEAR JULIAN, PLEASE FORGIVE ME
A Sarah Palin joint

To Julian Assange:
I apologize.

Exposing
the truth re:
THE LEFT
having been
oh-so-guilty of atrocious
actions
and
attitudes
of which they’ve falsely accused others.

The media
collusion
that hid what
many on
THE LEFT
have been
supporting is shocking.

This
important information
that
finally opened
people’s eyes
to democrat candidates
and
operatives
would not
have been
exposed
were it
not for
Julian Assange.

I
apologize
for
condemning Assange
when he
published my infamous
(and proven noncontroversial,
relatively boring)
emails
years ago.

As I
said at
the time of being targeted
and
my subsequent condemnation,
though,
the line
must be drawn
before
our troops
or
innocent lives deserving protection
would be
put
at risk
as a result
of published emails.

Julian,
I
apologize.

[wild finger snapping beatnik applause ensues]

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