That Time Mike Cernovich Threatened Trump

The next “Pizzagate” should be a real magnum opus

So right-wing manbaby Mike Cernovich is all butthurt that his boy Steve Bannon is on his way out of the Trump White House.

Let’s go inside Mike’s (alleged) brain for a second:
Well, this sucks. Bannon promised me if I kept up the batshit conspiracies, that he’d have a cushy gig for me in a year or so. If I don’t get that, I might have to get a real job, once the wingnut welfare dries up. What to do? What to do. Hmmm… what has worked before?

I know! Let’s launch some crazy conspiracy theories with absolutely no foundation! My listeners are a bunch of total gullible tards! They’ll eat it all up, and maybe Trump will get scared and back off firing Bannon! That’ll work!

And thus, a future series InfoWars segments was born:

“I will go TMZ on the globalists. I will go Gossip Girl on the globalists. I will go Gawker on the globalists. So you mother-effers going after Bannon, just know I broke two of the biggest stories before anybody else,” Cernovich said on his Periscope. “If you think I don’t know the pills people are popping, the mistresses, the sugar babies—I know all of it. So you better be smart. Because the mother of all stories will be dropped because I don’t care.”

Pill-popping? Mistresses? Orgies? Hmmm. Who could he be talking about? Reince? Spicey? No, they don’t have the juice to stop Bannon’s ouster. Kushner?

Or maybe … Trump himself?

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Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
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