Here’s Something You Don’t See Every Day: Stephen Colbert Changes a Bike Inner Tube [VIDEO]

Health • Views: 18,500

YouTube

He’s not too bad at this, although he did fumble with the derailleur a bit before remembering how to get the back wheel off. I’m a little suspicious that his hands seemed to stay so clean throughout, though.

Today our host Stephen Colbert used a skill he learned at age 13: changing the inner tube on a bike tire. What skills did you learn as a young person that you need now that you’re stuck at home? Hit us back at twitter.com to show them off! #Colbert #Quarantine #LSSC

Jump to bottom

164 comments

1
A hollow Gandalfian voice says, VOTE, you fools!  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:42:01pm

Speaking of denial, I keep hearing all the (largely male) reporters —and politicians — talking about all the (girls’ names) who are going to die. There’s a reposted tweet somewhere downstairs of a man flipping through obituary pages in an Italian newspaper. Take a look at the pictures…do those look like girls to you?

2
VegasGolfer  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:42:37pm

Gotta protect the stupid people from themselves.

3
retired cynic  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:43:04pm

Pritzker By Phone Tells Trump What Illinois Needs, WUIS

Illinois Coronavirus stats
Thursday afternoon 3151 tests, 134 new cases, 422 total, 4 deaths
Friday afternoon 4286 tests, 163 new cases, 585 total, 5 deaths
Saturday afternoon 6247 tested, 168 new cases, 753 total, 6 deaths
Sunday afternoon 8374 tested, 296 new cases, 1049 total, 9 deaths
Monday afternoon 9868 tested (tests still limited), 236 new cases, 1285 total, 12 deaths
Tuesday afternoon 11,485 tested, 250 new cases, 1535 total, 16 deaths

4
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:43:59pm
5
retired cynic  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:44:05pm

re: #3 retired cynic

Pritzker continues to ask the President to use the Defense Production Act to order companies to boost manufacturing of supplies. But he said Trump doesn’t seem to like that idea.

6
wrenchwench  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:44:29pm

My bicycle was stolen night before last.

7
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:45:33pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

I am sorry to hear that. :(

8
plansbandc  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:45:45pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

I’m so sorry. Fuck bike thieves.

9
A hollow Gandalfian voice says, VOTE, you fools!  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:48:07pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

My bicycle was stolen night before last.

Sorry to hear that.

10
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:49:20pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

Bummer. Was it chained up?

11
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:50:58pm

Colbert used a screwdriver to get the tire off - it’s much better to use a plastic tool to avoid damaging the rim. Yes, I’m gonna get pedantic about this video.

12
wrenchwench  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:51:04pm

First time I ever parked it outside overnight. I locked it with a cable. I’ve sold a million ulocks telling people not to do that.

They didn’t steal Bicycleness from me, it was just a bike.

Nice one, though. I’ll tell stories someday.

13
I Don’t Take Responsibility At All (dangerman)  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:52:56pm

Quelle surprise

Fox News anchors fail to challenge Trump as he misleads during coronavirus town hall

Anchors at Fox News failed to meaningfully challenge President Trump as he repeatedly misled the network’s viewers during a virtual town hall on Tuesday, effectively surrendering its airwaves to the President as he even appeared to cite a conspiratorial outlet to argue his case

14
wrenchwench  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:54:00pm

re: #11 Charles Johnson

Colbert used a screwdriver to get the tire off - it’s much better to use a plastic tool to avoid damaging the rim. Yes, I’m gonna get pedantic about this video.

Thank you for doing my old job. And for posting the video. I wasn’t going to watch it, but I enjoyed it.

15
b.d. (We're on our own, Vote!)  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:54:12pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

My bicycle was stolen night before last.

There’s nothing worse than a thief.

I had my bike stolen but the cops actually recovered it within a week and nailed the guy after he tried to pawn it……..justice is sweet……..hope you get it back

16
BeachDem  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:55:27pm

re: #4 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

When they start referring to it as “Carousel” and “Renewal” I’m heading for the hills (or hiding under my bed.)

17
teleskiguy  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:56:18pm

Eek! Why is he using a metal screwdriver on the tire bead?!? Great way to ruin the bead and bend the rim of the wheel.

18
teleskiguy  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:57:06pm

re: #11 Charles Johnson

Beat me to it, boss.

19
Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:58:00pm
20
wrenchwench  Mar 24, 2020 • 4:59:39pm

re: #17 teleskiguy

Eek! Why is he using a metal screwdriver on the tire bead?!? Great way to ruin the bead and bend the rim of the wheel.

And poke a hole in the new tube!!

However, not dealing with modern tubeless bicycle tires is my favorite thing about being a former bike mechanic.

21
teleskiguy  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:02:33pm
22
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:06:28pm

The UK’s daily briefing today was not by Boris but by three senior members of his government. Watching it, what stood out is how pointed were the questions from the media, and how the government, though sometimes trying to answer around the questions, still took them:

Coronavirus: New temporary coronavirus hospital announced - BBC

What a contrast to Trump and the meek questions he gets.

23
stpaulbear  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:08:24pm

re: #19 Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel

Lord Piltdown
@jimreynolds54
Now that Lt. Governor Patrick has volunteered to sacrifice himself for the benefit of billionaire stock buybacks, what form should the ritual take?

I hope his grandkids are asking him how much money they’ll get when he’s dead.

24
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:09:50pm
25
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:10:19pm

OH HAI BERNIEBOTS

26
Quoth the raven, Covfefe.  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:10:52pm

re: #25 The Pie Overlord!

OH HAI BERNIEBOTS

Christ, this asshole again.

27
DodgerFan1988  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:13:55pm
28
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:16:37pm
29
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:17:13pm

US Navy Announces 3 COVID-19 Cases Aboard USS Theodore Roosevelt

Three sailors aboard the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt underway in the Pacific Ocean were diagnosed with COVID-19 and were evacuated from the ship, Acting Navy Secretary Thomas B. Modly said.

“We’ve identified all the folks they’ve had contact with, and we’re quarantining them as well,” Modly said at a Pentagon news conference today, where he appeared with Navy Adm. Michael Gilday, the chief of naval operations. “This is an example of how we are able to keep our ships deployed at seas and underway, even with active COVID-19 cases. Our force remains on watch throughout the world [during] this crisis, and they’re continuing to execute their primary mission under the National Defense Strategy.”

[…]

We seem to have an awful lot of “acting” this and that.

Regarding executing primary missions and isolating contacts: If three sailors on a carrier are infected, then it strikes me that sailors tend to live in much closer quarters than found on luxury cruise ships, and thus I do wonder how many infections are on the Roosevelt.

The Navy won’t disclose information that compromises the defense of assets. My guess is that the carrier is not non-functional but the Navy has to be worried that key personnel don’t become disabled.

30
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:17:37pm
31
I Would Prefer Not To  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:20:34pm

I wish one person would call out trump to his face. Is that asking too much? I just want to hear the words “fucking idiot” yelled to his face. I think it would help heal the nation.

32
Ace Rothstein  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:21:09pm

re: #30 The Pie Overlord!

100% fact.

33
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:21:32pm

re: #31 I Would Prefer Not To

I would like to do that the problem is I am confined to Philly. :/

34
Unabogie  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:34:47pm

@Charles:

If you keep your drive train clean your hands will be too :-)

35
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:35:30pm
36
Unabogie  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:36:46pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

My bicycle was stolen night before last.

Dammit. My bike is my only respite right now. It is literally keeping me sane to get out and pedal up the steepest hills I can find.

37
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:37:39pm

Fuck you guys.

38
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:37:47pm

re: #11 Charles Johnson

Colbert used a screwdriver to get the tire off - it’s much better to use a plastic tool to avoid damaging the rim. Yes, I’m gonna get pedantic about this video.

They didnt have those plastic thingies when I was a kid, or we couldn’t afford them.

39
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:38:47pm
40
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:41:22pm

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHY!! WHY!!!11!!????

41
Quoth the raven, Covfefe.  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:41:40pm

re: #40 The Pie Overlord!

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHY!! WHY!!!11!!????

Publicity.

42
gocart mozart  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:42:42pm
43
wrenchwench  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:43:48pm

re: #36 Unabogie

Dammit. My bike is my only respite right now. It is literally keeping me sane to get out and pedal up the steepest hills I can find.

I’ve become quite the pedestrian. I’m even getting an attitude about it, like I had about cycling. This is since being hit by a car, not since the theft. I guess the attitude is to be expected, since I was a pedestrian when I was hit.

44
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:46:11pm

re: #37 Dread Pirate

[Embedded content]

Fuck you guys.

Trump is saying things that people would like to believe are true. They’re going to not be true and he’ll keep making crap up.

Rockwall has extended their virtual classroom until April 15th. I suspect it will continue to the end of the school year.

45
bratwurst  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:46:33pm
46
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:47:34pm

re: #40 The Pie Overlord!

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHY!! WHY!!!11!!????

[Embedded content]

We’ll always have assholes who are just begging for a Darwin Award!

47
Unabogie  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:47:43pm

re: #20 wrenchwench

And poke a hole in the new tube!!

However, not dealing with modern tubeless bicycle tires is my favorite thing about being a former bike mechanic.

I tried going tubeless on my Surly, but for me it just meant more frequent tire replacements and messy emergency tubes when I run over typical bike lane debris. I went back to tubes with patch kits and I’m happier.

48
gocart mozart  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:48:38pm
49
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:49:26pm
50
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:52:49pm
51
teleskiguy  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:53:15pm
52
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:54:53pm

re: #48 gocart mozart

53
LeftyRambles2413 (HappyWarrior)  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:55:12pm

re: #50 Dread Pirate

[Embedded content]

But yeah Donald it’s them people from the border.//

54
gocart mozart  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:56:19pm
55
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:56:34pm
56
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:56:43pm

Well the Cult Of The Fetus is now The Cult Of Killing Gramps!

57
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:58:43pm
58
7-y (Expectation of Great Things in Due Course)  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:59:17pm

My double alma mater, the University of Michigan, has scheduled nothing but virtual academic classes through the summer. I’m thinking that very few public school districts will go back before September. The highly paid analysts and decision-makers in various industries around us are looking at this as long-term.

59
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 5:59:29pm

The Waffle House Alarm just sounded!

60
Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:00:08pm

re: #46 Joe Bacon 🌹

We’ll always have assholes who are just begging for a Darwin Award!

Like these assholes:

Interestingly, LU explicitly rejects Darwin by requiring all students to take a course in young Earth Creationism. They are about to learn a hard lesson.

61
Disloyal Archangel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:00:50pm

How much you wanna bet that the No-Life Republicans are gonna double down on the grandpa-killing rhetoric now…

62
Anymouse 🌹🏡  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:04:08pm

Back from town.

When I went out, I found the US flag on the park flagstaff upside down (a clip broke). I spent a few minutes replacing that. The parts are over at the village hall; when I went there I noted that all chairs beyond ten in the conference room have been removed.

Off to town. The county seat is on a modified lockdown (no more than two people in a business besides workers and the supermarket, where ten are allowed). Restaurants are carry-out only. Ditto the bars. The gun shop is closed. Children are prohibited from all the shops unless they are shopping on behalf of a friend or family member, in which case they need a note.

We went to the bank. The lobby is closed unless you need to do specific business which cannot be done at the ATM. My wife needed a new ATM card and we were withdrawing a large sum of cash, so they let us in. Since she was getting a new ATM card (the new ones come with chips), I replaced mine (it’s so old the bank’s name is worn off the card).

Afterwards to the pharmacy for some doodads my wife needs for her glucose machine. Same there (we were the only people in the store aside from the employees and the owner).

Then to the supermarket. They have a large sign of the rules imposed, another one on social distancing, and a third on hand washing out front.

One cute suggestion they have is “jump shopping”: If someone gets within ten feet of you, jump.

Inside, the register lanes have been physically moved to provide social distancing. There are now Lucite panels riveted to the lanes to prevent breathing or coughing on the baggers or checkers.

Sold out items (even with limits on purchases): Anything to do with baking (plenty of cake mixes though), toilet paper, hand sanitiser, rubbing alcohol, all varieties of butter, hams.

In the liquor store part they were out of all brands of rum except one pint bottle (it’s mine now). Same thing there, Lucite panel to protect the workers.

I thanked the employees for the hard work they’ve been putting in when we paid for our goods.

63
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:06:36pm

re: #61 Disloyal Archangel

How much you wanna bet that the No-Life Republicans are gonna double down on the grandpa-killing rethoric now…

[Embedded content]

Yes and see the MAGATS on that thread wanting Grandpa Joe to die…

64
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:06:44pm

“…So what does this mean? Imagine a business such as a hotel chain or cruise line that is looking at massively reduced business for some time going forward. What is it likely to do? It will take the federal money, lay off workers (who will get taxpayer funded unemployment insurance), and then increase executive compensation or pay dividends to shareholders with a cheap government loan. Only about half the US population owns corporate stock in any amount, and most in very small amounts, and 84% of stock is owned by just 10% of households. Those happen to be the wealthiest households in the country, that is those households that are in the least need of assistance.

Now it is possible that some businesses will need funding for non-employment operating expenses, such as financing inventory. But surely we do not need $425 billion in inventory funding. The $425 billion slush fund for big businesses needs to be tightened up a lot more. If that means delaying it for a COVID 4.0 bill, that’s what should be done. Because right now it looks like a massive giveaway of taxpayer funds to benefit corporate executives and shareholders.”

65
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:07:06pm

re: #62 Anymouse 🌹🏡

My local Acme has those Lucite panels too.

66
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:07:51pm
67
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:08:07pm

Shit just got real

68
LeftyRambles2413 (HappyWarrior)  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:10:14pm

re: #66 The Pie Overlord!

[Embedded content]

The same thing it did when HRC kicked his ass. Fucking Bros are delusional assholes.

69
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:11:26pm

re: #37 Dread Pirate

[Embedded content]

Fuck you guys.

I hope Biden says fuck you to another debate.

70
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:11:40pm
71
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:15:08pm

re: #70 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

Hare-brained is correct but I feel as though I have just insulted the entire wild rabbit population.

72
LeftyRambles2413 (HappyWarrior)  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:15:53pm

re: #69 Yeah Sure WhatEVs

I hope Biden says fuck you to another debate.

They’re not happy with Biden’s response. Bernie had a livestream concert when he could have been in Washington. Bernie’s a conman for staying in at this point.

73
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:16:58pm
74
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:18:29pm
75
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:20:33pm

re: #74 Charles Johnson

Psst Are you interested in a few rolls?


It is Charmin
76
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:22:56pm

Someone got very creative in their cooking. Behind a spoiler because it is triggering.

77
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:23:16pm

re: #73 The Pie Overlord!

I would not be surprised if Trump tested positive a while back and it was hidden. Remember when he was looking even more poorly than usual? And when Mar-a-lago hosted the Brazilian delegation and some were infected?

Now, we may wonder why, if Trump tested positive, he wouldn’t trumpet his victory over it. Possibly a good question, but now he’d have to admit that he lied… so it may seem a bit too awkward for him to admit it.

Anyway, he may now be immune, so doesn’t care about getting covid-19.

78
Disloyal Archangel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:24:06pm

re: #57 The Pie Overlord!

[Embedded content]

79
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:24:45pm

So the US is now up to 222 deaths in a day.

80
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:25:22pm

re: #78 Disloyal Archangel

Pissed off Pepperidge Farm Cookies?

81
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:25:28pm
82
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:28:41pm
83
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:29:06pm

re: #80 PhillyPretzel

Pissed off Pepperidge Farm Cookies?

I don’t like this game.

84
A hollow Gandalfian voice says, VOTE, you fools!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:29:14pm

re: #80 PhillyPretzel

Pissed off Pepperidge Farm Cookies?

Seething bagel (with green salad)

85
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:29:34pm

Trump, White House tell Wall Street execs lockdown may last beyond Easter: sources

President Trump appears to be revising his plans to end the lockdowns that have crippled the US economy, while promising that the federal government could actually spend much more than the $2 trillion in economic stimulus to prevent a virus-related economic catastrophe, FOX Business has learned.

The president’s relaxed timetable for restarting the economy and the total estimates for a government stimulus were made Tuesday during a private conference call between top White House officials, the president and a handful of major Wall Street investors, according to people with direct knowledge of the matter.

The cabal in this country is found in the major investment houses. And Trump is desperate to get them on side, to bring back booming equity markets.

86
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:29:37pm

re: #83 The Pie Overlord!

I do not like either.

87
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:31:31pm

re: #81 Dread Pirate

Just have to mint ten $1,000,000,000,000 coins

88
Cheechako  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:33:19pm

re: #85 Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus

Trump, White House tell Wall Street execs lockdown may last beyond Easter: sources

The cabal in this country is found in the major investment houses. And Trump is desperate to get them on side, to bring back booming equity markets.

Boy, the cost of purchasing an election has really increased this year.

Edit: And he gets to use our money.

89
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:33:46pm

re: #87 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

I rather have a couple of Morgan Dollars. Preferably 1928 with Carson City mint marks.

90
Florida Panhandler  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:35:17pm

re: #81 Dread Pirate

[Embedded content]

Again, I vividly remember just a month ago when a measly $2 Trillion for a Universal Health Care system was simply too much. Now we’re at $10 Trillion for a massive corporate bailout.

Fuck these guys.

91
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:36:11pm
92
Quoth the raven, Covfefe.  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:36:37pm

re: #91 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

Well, Brazil is fucked.

93
Citizen K  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:37:10pm
94
cat-tikvah  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:37:32pm

re: #65 PhillyPretzel

My local Acme has those Lucite panels too.

Was at my local one today. Also noted the 6 foot spans marked out on the floor. Glad to see this.

95
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:38:15pm

re: #91 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

Strong men always want to project themselves as the epitome of health.

96
Charles Johnson  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:38:16pm
97
Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:39:47pm

BTW, the US death toll from today, yesterday, and Sunday is now almost equal (off by 4 currently) to the highest weekly death toll from flu this season.

So all those know-nothings whining about how the flu is more deadly - no, not at all.

98
stpaulbear  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:42:01pm

re: #43 wrenchwench

I’ve become quite the pedestrian. I’m even getting an attitude about it, like I had about cycling. This is since being hit by a car, not since the theft. I guess the attitude is to be expected, since I was a pedestrian when I was hit.

I had a car throw their door open just as I was passing on a bike. Before I could say ‘whoa!” I was flat on my back . I popped up to my feet almost immediately due to adrenaline, and one of the first things I thought was “New bike!”

Then I noticed that I was covered in blood…

99
LeftyRambles2413 (HappyWarrior)  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:44:21pm

re: #91 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

[Embedded content]

Fuck he’s more Trump than Trump himself. You’re not an athlete, you fascist fuck.

100
Barefoot Grin  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:46:59pm

She’s absorbed my exhaustion.

101
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:48:03pm
102
FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt'n😷Trips  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:49:55pm

re: #95 Love-Child of Cassandra and Sisyphus

Strong men always want to project themselves as the epitome of health.

re: #99 LeftyRambles2413 (HappyWarrior)

Fuck he’s more Trump than Trump himself. You’re not an athlete, you fascist fuck.

My neck hurts watching it

103
Patricia Kayden  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:51:26pm
104
Patricia Kayden  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:55:33pm
105
Citizen K  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:56:45pm

re: #103 Patricia Kayden

[Embedded content]

Pretty sure they voted him in so he could be a one man death panel empowered to dispense with the lives of folks he and his supporters have determined to not be really ‘Americans’ though.

106
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 6:58:50pm

RATIO OF THE DAY

107
The Pie Overlord!  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:00:24pm

Alberta is the Texas of Canada

108
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:03:50pm

re: #107 The Pie Overlord!

The list of essential stores is almost the same as here with one exception. In PA there are no stores that sell cannabis. It is by prescription only.

109
Anymouse 🌹🏡  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:04:39pm

re: #6 wrenchwench

My bicycle was stolen night before last.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

110
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:11:00pm
111
Romantic Heretic  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:11:48pm

re: #19 Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel

Traditional Mayan.

Just to fuck with the wingnuts. They’ll be caught between “They can’t do this to one of us! We’re the good guys!” and “That’s so fucking cool. His heart’s still beating!”

With luck we’ll get a number of them to pull a Norman.

112
Patricia Kayden  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:11:48pm
113
Patricia Kayden  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:13:52pm

re: #110 jaunte

I’m sorry but is Rev Everett paying attention. White Evangelicals fully support Trump. They’ll gladly pack churches to own the libs and support their guy this Easter.

114
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:15:51pm
115
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:15:57pm

re: #107 The Pie Overlord!

Alberta is the Texas of Canada

[Embedded content]

Yeah, they’ll just steam oil out of the sand at -$25 a barrel.

116
Romantic Heretic  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:16:46pm

re: #40 The Pie Overlord!

WHY DO PEOPLE DO THIS? WHY!! WHY!!!11!!????

[Embedded content]

Because they are stupid.

117
Anymouse 🌹🏡  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:18:26pm

The bank manager was wearing a “screened” sticker when we went to see her today about the ATM cards. I asked about that.

She said earlier in the day she had an appointment at the hospital in Scottsbluff. They have clamped down further on their requirements to get in since I was there: Everyone gets their temperature taken, more detailed questionnaire on whether you’ve been out of the Nebraska Panhandle, all persons under eighteen banned from the hospital unless they are patients, no more than one visitor, and the guards are now armed.

118
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:19:55pm

re: #74 Charles Johnson

We mailing some to my son in Lexington. He’s down to one roll and has gone to the stores multiple times over the last week.

119
Quoth the raven, Covfefe.  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:22:04pm

re: #118 Belafon

We mailing some to my son in Lexington. He’s down to one roll and has gone to the stores multiple times over the last week.

I ordered a “care package” delivered to my folks back in fish country. It arrived today. I got a “thank you” text from my mom with a picture of her holding the package.

120
dnlS  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:22:15pm

Links to updated excel file to download, do whatever
drive.google.com

Total cases, with exponential fit. US is now back ‘on track’ due to high numbers from improved testing. IT, France, Germany have slowed which is seen somewhat in new cases.

New cases per day:

Doubling time of cases and deaths:
Its been suggested new cases declining, total admission to hospital (Nate Silver), or deaths (lagging indicator) are the best ways of seeing when a country’s policies are having an effect. However, most policy changes would be expected to have some delay due to incubation time (2-10 days mean 4 or 5) and time from first symptoms to respiratory issues (10-20% of cases, 8-9 days later). US looks bad here for new cases or death - both are very low at ~2.6 day doubling times.

Cases per 1 million and % fatal of confirmed cases. Italy and France have very high percentages. Germany has very low numbers as has been discussed here.

121
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:23:10pm

re: #118 Belafon

Please see my #75. Do you need some?

122
danarchy  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:30:13pm

re: #118 Belafon

We mailing some to my son in Lexington. He’s down to one roll and has gone to the stores multiple times over the last week.

My local Deli actually had a little table off to the side where they were selling paper towels and toilet paper by the roll, one roll per customer. It looked like the cheap one ply stuff you get in public bathrooms. They weren’t gouging or anything, it was like 50 cents a roll for the TP. I luckily bought a package before things got really crazy so I am good for several weeks. Maybe I should order some on amazon now so it shows up before things start getting desperate.

I was down to my last roll of paper towels though so I ordered some on amazon and the estimated ship date was april 8th, but I just got an update that it has shipped and will be here march 28th,

I keep expecting the paper aisles in the grocery store to return to normal once everyone has hoarded all they can store, but it has been 2 weeks since I’v seen anything in that aisle in any of a half dozen grocery stores.

123
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:30:34pm
124
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:32:34pm

re: #104 Patricia Kayden

Reading the article, it reminded me of when the governor of Arizona stuck her finger in Obama’s face.

125
retired cynic  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:32:47pm

re: #123 Dread Pirate

Oh, tears! What a man!

126
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:34:49pm

re: #123 Dread Pirate

re: #125 retired cynic

That is a heartbreaking story. A young man who gave his life to help others. :(

127
austin_blue  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:37:16pm

There will be no Easter miracle. There will be a continually climbing number of COVID cases in the country. Jesus won’t help us. More people will die.

What will help us is if we attack the problem as if it is a war. Make more respirators, more masks, more face fields, more gowns. Protect the first line of defense. This is just basic action. Anything else is just stupid.

Of course, most of the country appears to be just stupid.

128
Anymouse 🌹🏡  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:37:52pm

re: #60 Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel

Like these assholes:

Interestingly, LU explicitly rejects Darwin by requiring all students to take a course in young Earth Creationism. They are about to learn a hard lesson.

Gov. Ralph Northam should step in and order the “school” closed, with police if necessary.

129
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:38:13pm

re: #121 PhillyPretzel

Please see my #75. Do you need some?

Thanks but we have some. I had bought one package at the end of February. My middle son went and got his from school, and my dad went to Aldi. People are reluctant to get the single ply stuff. I totally agree but it’s better than nothing.

130
calochortus  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:38:38pm

re: #122 danarchy

My local Deli actually had a little table off to the side where they were selling paper towels and toilet paper by the roll, one roll per customer. It looked like the cheap one ply stuff you get in public bathrooms. They weren’t gouging or anything, it was like 50 cents a roll for the TP. I luckily bought a package before things got really crazy so I am good for several weeks. Maybe I should order some on amazon now so it shows up before things start getting desperate.

I was down to my last roll of paper towels though so I ordered some on amazon and the estimated ship date was april 8th, but I just got an update that it has shipped and will be here march 28th,

I keep expecting the paper aisles in the grocery store to return to normal once everyone has hoarded all they can store, but it has been 2 weeks since I’v seen anything in that aisle in any of a half dozen grocery stores.

I’m not getting out a whole lot for obvious reasons, but our local market seems to have TP back in stock. I have no idea about Safeway or Costco because I haven’t been to either in the last week and didn’t need paper products when I was there. I’m finding a bit of flexibility in what I need at the store goes a long way toward getting appropriate food into the house. There are some things that just aren’t in stock, but this morning shelves were much fuller than they were a week ago when I last shopped.

131
Quoth the raven, Covfefe.  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:38:44pm

re: #129 Belafon

Thanks but we have some. I had bought one package at the end of February. My middle son went and got his from school, and my dad went to Aldi. People are reluctant to get the single ply stuff. I totally agree but it’s better than nothing.

Better on the plumbing, too.

132
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:38:46pm

re: #123 Dread Pirate

Legit crying. 💔

133
dnlS  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:39:17pm

The doubling time above are a 4 day fit to an exponential. So you are taking the 3 days prior and the day of numbers for cases or deaths. The point to point (day to day) doubling time is much noisier and may suggest a slight slowing. Here it is for the US:

Either way its quite likely we are looking at 2 doublings for cases and deaths by April. So its possible to see 210k case and 2700 deaths by then. We will pass China very soon.

Other states not increasing their testing like NY, would affect this as much of the recent numbers come from NY. The incubation time hitting all the Spring break and EU travelers will make this worse.

134
PhillyPretzel  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:39:22pm

re: #129 Belafon

okay.

135
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:40:47pm
136
dnlS  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:41:38pm

re: #135 jaunte

And travel!

137
gocart mozart  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:43:18pm
138
teleskiguy  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:45:12pm

re: #135 jaunte

The county I live in has one of the highest infection rates in the state. Because we’re an internationally renowned ski destination. More money, more testing.

Side note: El Paso County, Colorado (seat: Colorado Springs) has a very high rate of infection right now. El Paso County is one of the most right wing places in the state.

139
NO SMOCKING GUN!  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:45:50pm

re: #4 Charles Johnson

[Embedded content]

140
calochortus  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:46:20pm

I sent my daughter our box of 15 N-95 masks this morning. A drop in the bucket, but her hospital needs them more than we do.

141
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:46:38pm

re: #138 teleskiguy

Could it be a result of the Air Force travel?

142
austin_blue  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:47:57pm

I’m off to bed. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?

Here’s a hint, it’s going to get a lot worse.

143
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:48:18pm

Yesterday, one of the Walmarts had paper towels at 5:30pm. That was a good sign. No toilet paper but I think things might be slowing down a little at that store.

Rockwall has joined the other counties in the area and is doing stay at home until the 15th. So much for Trump’s by easter wish.

145
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:49:01pm

So help me out here. Trump and his white nationalist, racist, shithead “Christian” douchebags are going to go to church on Easter. Right? Did I read that right?

So… I’m missing the downside. Do they really think they’re invulnerable/invincible or is it solely lip service and they’re really not going to go? If the former, cool, go. Enjoy. If it’s the latter… Go. Please. Bye bye. See ya.

I’m missing something.

146
Joe Bacon 🌹  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:50:21pm

re: #145 Yeah Sure WhatEVs

So help me out here. Trump and his white nationalist, racist, shithead “Christian” douchebags are going to go to church on Easter. Right? Did I read that right?

So… I’m missing the downside. Do they really think they’re invulnerable/invincible or is it solely lip service and they’re really not going to go? If the former, cool, go. Enjoy. If it’s the latter… Go. Please. Bye bye. See ya.

I’m missing something.

Radical Xtians believe The Big G sent coronavirus to kill liberals, gays and colored folk.

147
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:50:58pm

Clown Car to the Apocalypse

148
dnlS  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:51:19pm

So do these graphs help or make things worse? I ask when I talk with people. Knowing helps me, but sometimes I have to look away.

149
stpaulbear  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:52:31pm

re: #129 Belafon

Thanks but we have some. I had bought one package at the end of February. My middle son went and got his from school, and my dad went to Aldi. People are reluctant to get the single ply stuff. I totally agree but it’s better than nothing.

I had to buy some single ply when my sewer line malfunctioned last summer. I just fold it over a couple of times until it’s four ply. You use more, but cheap one-ply is worthless.

150
jaunte  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:52:45pm

re: #148 dnlS

I feel like it’s better to have information.

151
calochortus  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:53:45pm

re: #148 dnlS

So does these graphs help or make things worse? I ask when I talk with people. Knowing helps me, but sometimes I have to look away.

Knowing is good for me. I appreciate the graphs.

152
Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:53:47pm

re: #138 teleskiguy

The county I live in has one of the highest infection rates in the state. Because we’re an internationally renowned ski destination. More money, more testing.

Side note: El Paso County, Colorado (seat: Colorado Springs) has a very high rate of infection right now. El Paso County is one of the most right wing places in the state.

My brother lives in the Springs. He thinks the infection is so high because the wingnuts thought it was a hoax and made a point of ignoring any and all precautions. He says they are still at it, cruising around in their pickups, gathering in the parks, holding parties, etc.

153
gocart mozart  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:53:50pm
154
Dread Pirate  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:54:24pm

re: #147 jaunte

[Embedded content]

Clown Car to the Apocalypse

I misread Potus as Putin. It still made perfect sense.

155
Belafon  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:55:27pm

re: #145 Yeah Sure WhatEVs

So help me out here. Trump and his white nationalist, racist, shithead “Christian” douchebags are going to go to church on Easter. Right? Did I read that right?

So… I’m missing the downside. Do they really think they’re invulnerable/invincible or is it solely lip service and they’re really not going to go? If the former, cool, go. Enjoy. If it’s the latter… Go. Please. Bye bye. See ya.

I’m missing something.

The only downside is some of these people work at places like where I work and currently cannot choose to not work because it’s vital.

156
Citizen K  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:56:27pm

re: #145 Yeah Sure WhatEVs

So help me out here. Trump and his white nationalist, racist, shithead “Christian” douchebags are going to go to church on Easter. Right? Did I read that right?

So… I’m missing the downside. Do they really think they’re invulnerable/invincible or is it solely lip service and they’re really not going to go? If the former, cool, go. Enjoy. If it’s the latter… Go. Please. Bye bye. See ya.

I’m missing something.

Because if they do go and spread coronavirus, it won’t remain relegated to just their megachurches and Easter congregations. They will spread it at stores, restaurants, etc. that they will likely stop in after the fact and render a lot of the stay-in-place and virtual lockdown orders moot.

157
stpaulbear  Mar 24, 2020 • 7:59:09pm

re: #146 Joe Bacon 🌹

Radical Xtians believe The Big G sent coronavirus to kill liberals, gays and colored folk.

It’s going to hit the prosperity gospel people so hard.

158
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 8:03:51pm

re: #148 dnlS

So do these graphs help or make things worse? I ask when I talk with people. Knowing helps me, but sometimes I have to look away.

Uncomfortable but necessary. Thank you very much.

159
Anymouse 🌹🏡  Mar 24, 2020 • 8:04:58pm

re: #106 The Pie Overlord!

RATIO OF THE DAY

And yet Republicans have no problem with voting by mail if they control the state.

We’ve had it in Nebraska far longer than Oregon or Washington.

They only care in states where they are a dead letter (HI, CA) or a swing state where they could be wiped out.

160
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 8:14:36pm

re: #152 Shiplord Kirel, Friend of Moose and Squirrel

My brother lives in the Springs. He thinks the infection is so high because the wingnuts thought it was a hoax and made a point of ignoring any and all precautions. He says they are still at it, cruising around in their pickups, gathering in the parks, holding parties, etc.

Darwinism at work.

You can’t say they weren’t warned. Shame about their families, though. Well, some of them anyway.

161
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 8:22:09pm

re: #155 Belafon

The only downside is some of these people work at places like where I work and currently cannot choose to not work because it’s vital.

BIG downside. There should be rules for what people can do outside of work of you’re mandated to show up to work.

I’m sorry. I wasn’t meaning to be callous.

162
Yeah Sure WhatEVs  Mar 24, 2020 • 8:23:07pm

re: #157 stpaulbear

It’s going to hit the prosperity gospel people so hard.

That’s what I was going for, only in a much more callous way.

Again apologies.

163
John Hughes  Mar 25, 2020 • 1:11:21am
I’m a little suspicious that his hands seemed to stay so clean throughout, though.

In a time of COVID-19 all our hands are suspiciously clean.

164
John Hughes  Mar 25, 2020 • 8:25:07am

re: #91 FormerDirtDart 🍕🐀 No Capt’n😷Trips

Great. Brazilian drugs gangs have better understanding of the role of government than the Brazilian president.

Has anyone read The Syndic by Cyril M. Kornbluth?


This article has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds Tweet

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Donate with
PayPal
Square Cash Shop at amazon
as an LGF Associate!
Recent PagesClick to refresh
The Cuomo Brothers Versus the President: What a Show! - Bedlam Farm This is a great read. Money quote: Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York seems to understand something that no other politician or political candidate up against President Trump has yet grasped. You can’t fight a Reality TV Presidency with ...
thecommodore
42 minutes ago
Views: 50 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Thanks to Bookshop, Indies Stand a Chance Against Amazon - InsideHook Independent bookstores around the country have a particularly clever lifeline, one perfectly suited to the unprecedented moment we find ourselves in. The strange part? It came into being just weeks before the World Health Organization declared the coronavirus outbreak ...
Thanos
7 hours, 21 minutes ago
Views: 101 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Bésame Mucho (In French) - Avalon Jazz Band "Bésame Mucho" is a song written in 1940 by Mexican songwriter Consuelo Velázquez. It was also Tatiana's grandmother's favorite song! vocals - Tatiana Eva-Marieviolin - Gabe Terraccianoguitar - Vinny Raniolobass - Wallace Stelzer Shot at the Keep in Brooklyn ...
Thanos
12 hours, 11 minutes ago
Views: 155 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Portugal. The Man - ‘Created’ (Video by Roger Fishman) Our friend Roger Fishman is an environmental photographer who travels the world taking pictures and videos of landscapes. The images are incredibly striking and beautiful. All the images are as is and not treated to make them look this way. It ...
Thanos
12 hours, 24 minutes ago
Views: 131 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Only Children Provided to YouTube by The Orchard Enterprises Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Only Children · Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit Only Children ℗ 2020 Southeastern Records marketed and distributed by Thirty Tigers Released on: 2020-03-27 Producer: ...
Thanos
12 hours, 27 minutes ago
Views: 136 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Portugal. The Man - ‘Lovely Day’ ( Bill Withers Cover) We did a cover of “Lovely Day”, we know it pales in comparison to the original but there is something special that happens when you learn how to play your favorite songs. We grew up listening to AM radio ...
Thanos
12 hours, 54 minutes ago
Views: 138 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Conor Matthews - BalloonsStream/download "Balloons": conormatthews.lnk.to instagram.comtwitter.comfacebook.com
Thanos
2 days, 2 hours ago
Views: 259 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook
Orville Peck - Summertime (Official Video) Official video for "Summertime" by Orville Peck. Listen & Download “Summertime” by Orville Peck out now: orvillepeck.lnk.to Amazon - orvillepeck.lnk.toApple Music - orvillepeck.lnk.toiTunes - orvillepeck.lnk.toSpotify - orvillepeck.lnk.toYouTube Music - orvillepeck.lnk.to Follow Orville PeckFacebook - facebook.comInstagram - instagram.comTwitter - @orvillepeck ...
Thanos
2 days, 6 hours ago
Views: 285 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
The Magnetic Fields - Kraftwerk in a Blackout (Official Video) The Magnetic Fields' "Kraftwerk in a Blackout," from 'Quickies,' due in May on Nonesuch Records. Pre-order 'Quickies' to download the track now: smarturl.it Video by Robert Edridge-Waks 'Quickies,' a five 7" vinyl box set, is twenty-eight new short songs ...
Thanos
4 days, 7 hours ago
Views: 520 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
#Thegreatpoolpondconversion - 200329First we'd like to lodge a complaint: Since the day we laid the liner (3/1/20), it hasn't rained once. Now to business. Since our design does not include a filter, we need to give the whole system a head start. ...
I Don’t Take Responsibility At All (dangerman)
5 days, 7 hours ago
Views: 446 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 0 • Share to Facebook