Mark Steyn says John Kerry isn’t fooling anyone by raising his anus: Kerry won’t scare any of the big beasts.

Among my Christmas presents was a copy of Survive, a recent collection by Sports Afield magazine of helpful tips for the great outdoors. Most of the stuff was familiar - rub a raw potato on poison ivy, roast a wood bug before you eat it - but on page 70 I was surprised by this novel approach to mountain lions: “Do not approach one, especially if it is feeding or with its young. Most will avoid confrontation, so provide an escape. Do all you can to appear larger. Raise your anus, and open your jacket if you have one on.” I can’t say I did that the last time I saw a mountain lion, but maybe I had a lucky escape. And then I realised it’s meant to be “raise your arms” and that the item is a cautionary tale in the pitfalls of computer “scanning”.

One hopes the misprint doesn’t lead the less seasoned hiker into an awkward situation, and that any mountain lion confronted by city folks dutifully adopting the prescribed position will think “What the hell do they mean by that?” and wander off shaking his head rather than flying into a carnivorous rage.

I thought of the advice when I caught Presidential candidate John Kerry, the Default Democrat, at one of his final campaign stops in New Hampshire.