Mitt Romney’s Plan To Unite Evangelicals: Pretend He’s Rick Santorum:

From the Etch-a-Sketch’s mouth:

“We’re going to have to get America recommitted to those anchors, to the power of family,” Romney told the crowd at the Faith & Freedom Coalition conference in downtown Washington, D.C. Saturday via satellite link. “We need to strengthen the commitment that exists in this country to family.”

“Familes are an important source of strength for the nation,” Romney told the crowd. “Rick Santorum is fond of reminding us of the study that was carried out by the Brookings Institution where they looked at the qualities that were the best predictors of happiness and in this case financial wherewithal.”

“Culture matters,” Romney told the Liberty crowd. “The power of these values is evidenced by a Brookings Institution study that Senator Rick Santorum brought to my attention.”

Because the only thing missing from my bingo sheet of reasons not to vote for Romney was echoing Rick “fuck the gays, pagans, and shamefully independent womenfolk, they have no rights unless we give them” Santorum as a guiding light on social matters.