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The Onion Reports: Mitt Romney Terrified What Will Happen if He Stops Running for President

Panicked late night phone calls
Humor • Views: 31,805

Romney to Donors: Obama Won Because of “Gifts” to Minorities

The revenge of the 47%
Politics • Views: 30,345

This should really come as no surprise; it’s totally consistent with the messages of the Romney campaign, which made it a prime tenet that there was a segment of America that just wanted “free stuff.” Romney even had the gall to say this to the NAACP when he addressed them (and was booed for it), so it’s no big secret that he feels this way.

But still — douchebag to the bitter end: Romney Reflects on His Loss in Call With Campaign Donors.

Mitt Romney told his top donors Wednesday that his loss to President Obama was a disappointing result that neither he nor his top aides had expected, but said he believed his team ran a “superb” campaign with “no drama,” and attributed his rival’s victory to “the gifts” the administration had given to blacks, Hispanics and young voters during Obama’s  first term.

Obama, Romney argued, had been “very generous” to blacks, Hispanics and young voters. He cited as motivating factors to young voters the administration’s plan for partial forgiveness of college loan interest and the extension of health coverage for students on their parents’ insurance plans well into their 20s. Free contraception coverage under Obama’s healthcare plan, he added, gave an extra incentive to college-age women to back the president.

Glenn Beck Rants Crazily About the Petraeus Scandal and the Muslim Brotherhood

Still loony
Wingnuts • Views: 28,351

Glenn Beck is well known around here as a raving freakazoid nut sandwich, and he doesn’t disappoint in this clip from Right Wing Watch, standing in front of his chalkboard and ranting about the secret connections that tie together all the strands of a vast conspiracy by the Muslim Brotherhood to trigger a global revolution.

See? And you thought it was just about David Petraeus gettin’ his swerve on. Little did you realize that the fate of civilization itself is at stake: Beck: Petraeus Scandal Is a Conspiracy to Discredit the Military.

UPDATE at 11/14/12 3:55:55 pm

The entire rambling disconnected rant is here, if you feel masochistic: Sex, Lies and Libya | TheBlaze TV. (h/t: Silvio.)

Video: Obama Defends UN Amb. Susan Rice Against Right Wing Craziness

Pushback against the right’s fake rage over Benghazi
Politics • Views: 29,355

At today’s press conference, President Obama strongly defended UN Ambassador Susan Rice against the scurrilous attacks from John McCain and Lindsey Graham:

Whoever writes the headlines for Fox Nation (the knuckle-dragging “community site” of Fox News) seems to believe they have Obama right where they want him: Obama Falls Into Benghazi Trap - ‘Benghazi-Gate’ - Fox Nation.

The Fox Nation “community” reacts in their customary way:

Rice always looks like she came off a week long drunk. Her face looks like someone hit her numerous times with a skillet too. Flat face. She also walks like she rides a really broad horse every night.

[…]

Hmmm tribesmen big blck chief stickum foot in mouth and then chewed on it.

[…]

4 dead white American heros, I’m wondering what if they were black and W was president do you think the blacks would be so complacent???

Et cetera, et cetera.

Fox News Asking Questions Again: Was Petraeus Being Blackmailed by Obama?

Hate mongering fake news network pushes conspiracy theories to the right wing base
Wingnuts • Views: 27,805

The right wing has been ranting in unison about the Benghazi attacks and their conspiracy theories of a “cover-up” for months now, getting more and more insane, and today Fox News took it to the next level, as dim bulb Steve Doocy has a deranged wingnut daydream that Barack Obama “blackmailed” David Petraeus to keep him quiet about … something.

These people are completely off their rockers with hatred for the President.

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 Frank says:

You don't have the slightest understanding of the difference between government action and private action, and you have certainly destroyed any case you might otherwise have had with this Senator. -- Senator Gorton, to which Frank Zappa responds with "Is this private action?"