TwitterFacebook

Wingnut Free Verse of the Day: “TOTAL FAKE”

Skeeter poetry slam
Wingnuts • Views: 30,205
DERP

Today’s wingnut free verse comes from the comment section for this post by the Internet’s Dumbest Man, Jim Hoft, the mighty Gateway Pundit: Gun Expert: “Obama Shoots a Gun Like He Throws a Baseball” …(President Panzy Pants) | the Gateway Pundit.

Quality wingnut-speak there: Obama shoots like a PANZY! Har de har har durr. Hoft quotes an anonymous source for this breaking news:

An anonymous gun expert, who did not wish to be identified, had this to say about Obama’s shooting style.

“Either the recoil kicked his ass or he doesn’t know to lean into the shot when shooting. He shoots a gun like he throws a baseball. That’s a ported shot gun. (holes - venting - at the end of the barrel. Less recoil.) You port really high power firearms to reduce the kick when fired. It helps with control and is less punishing. The smoke coming out of the top of the barrel lessens the muzzle jump and recoil. It means he’s a panzy. And it still threw him back. It also means he never shoots a gun.”

This is why Jim Hoft has such a reputation as a brilliant conservative essayist.

Meanwhile, at every single right wing blog, commenters are raving that the White House’s skeet-shooting photo is a PHOTOSHOP FAKE — they can tell by analyzing the pixels. And one of the best comments we’ve found in this vein comes from Hoft’s post, so maybe it wasn’t a complete waste after all.

Reformatted as free verse, we’ll title this one:

TOTAL FAKE

TOTAL FAKE..

Here’s why.
Cheek pressed against a fired
shot gun doesn’t fare well.

It’s an idiot who does this
or gets a hell
of a bruise.

Smoke is photo shopped.

If he just pulled the trigger
his cheek wouldn’t be fixed
on the butt
if the gun.

His shoulder would
be jammed backwards.

He’s aiming
ground level.

Unless he’s aiming
for the skeet “shooter” he’s
not aiming high enough

for skeet.

White House Releases Skeet Shooting Photo, WaPo Fact Checker Still Skeptical

And the right wing blogs are still ranting away about conspiracies
Wingnuts • Views: 31,091

Pro tip: if you want to be taken seriously as a fact checker, maybe you should avoid writing absolutely ridiculous articles like this one: The White House’s Curious Silence About Obama’s Claim of Skeet Shooting.

Yes, Washington Post fact checker Glenn Kessler actually seems to believe this is an important issue, or at least important enough to pander to the right wing crackpots who think the President lies about everything and anything.

Today the White House released a photo to prove that yes, President Obama really has done skeet shooting at Camp David, and how pathetic is it that this is even necessary at all?

Click to enlarge

Would you believe this still isn’t good enough for Glenn Kessler?

UPDATE, Feb. 2: The White House released this photograph of the president at the Camp David skeet range on Aug. 4, 2010. We are pleased the White House has become more forthcoming about this matter, though it does not quite answer the questions concerning the president’s ‘all the time’ language. What do readers think?

Good grief.

By the way, ace fact checker Glenn Kessler got the date of the photo wrong in his post. The caption at the White House Flickr page:

President Barack Obama shoots clay targets on the range at Camp David, Md., Saturday, Aug. 4, 2012.

Meanwhile, breitbart.com moron John Nolte is still ranting away about “Skeet-Gate.” Yes, really. They’ve made it into a -Gate.

MEDIA FOLLOWS OBAMA’S ORDERS TO MOCK SKEET-GATE SKEPTICS!!!

For example, Obama is attempting to grab more power for The State and criminals by way of gun control laws that infringe on our Second Amendment civil rights. In order to make his case, Obama is attempting to appear reasonable on the issue of guns, and one way he did this was to reassure Americans that he too is a sport shooter, and enjoys skeet shooting at Camp David.

Now, to those familiar with Obama’s record of opposing guns at every turn and lying about almost everything, that struck us as odd.

Today, however, the White House released a photo that purports to show Obama (love that tucked-in shirt) shooting skeet last August. Except… he’s shooting straight ahead, which means that there’s either a barn door somewhere in need of some patching, or Obama is such an awesome skeet shooter, he hits them as they come out of the firing device.

I keed, I keed. There are legitimate reasons that would explain the angle of his gun, but….

Because the photo is odd, some are asking perfectly legitimate questions.

But not the media.

Ladies and gentlemen, the conservative movement in all its sad, batshit insane glory.

Can we call them “Skeeters” now?

UPDATE at 2/2/13 11:58:48 am

After being most severely mocked throughout the Interwebs, Glenn Kessler has updated his post again. Apparently, he’s now satisfied that President Obama was not telling heinous lies.

UPDATE: As one might expect, there is a vast partisan divide on this, with some readers upset that we did not immediately change our ruling because the president released a photo, as we had requested in our original post. We try not to make snap judgements, but readers argued we had moved the goal posts. So we now have a photo, a news report quoting an anonymous that the president participated in a Marine guard competition and a news report quoting Obama that he has practiced with the Secret Service. The issue is settled, and we award the president a Geppetto Checkmark.

A “Gepetto Checkmark” for the president. I’m sure he’ll cherish it always.

^ back to top ^

TwitterFacebook

Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing!
For about 33 cents a day (per month) or 22 cents a day (per year), our subscription option turns off all advertisements at LGF!
Read more...

► LGF Headlines

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Articles

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Pages

  • Loading...

► Top 10 Comments

  • Loading...

► Bottom Comments

  • Loading...

► Recent Comments

  • Loading...

► Tools/Info

► Tag Cloud

► Contact

You must have Javascript enabled to use the contact form.
Your email:

Subject:

Message:


Messages may be published unless you request otherwise.
Tech Note:
Using the Contact Form
LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2014-03-07 2:19 pm PST

LGF User's Guide
Recent Pages
iceweasel
The Republicans In ‘Republicans Are People Too’ Ad Are All Stock Photos
Following on from our story last week, we see... Conservatives wanted to remind people that "Republicans Are People Too" with an ad campaign insisting that Republicans recycle and have tattoos. But as The Daily Banter pointed out, the woman the ...

4 minutes ago
Views: 13 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
FemNaziBitch
History of Leniency: NFL Domestic Cases Under Goodell
As the league faces a firestorm of outrage over how it handled recent cases, USA TODAY Sports looked at every case in which an NFL player was accused of domestic abuse since NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell took office eight ...

22 minutes ago
Views: 33 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Lumberhead
Ted Nugent Unloads on African-American ‘Thugs’ in Horribly Racist Column About Ferguson
Rocker, right-wing polemicist, and Republican campaigner Ted Nugent has launched yet another racist tirade, penning a column in which he assails "Ferguson thugs" and a purported "plague of black violence" and demands that African-Americans stop supporting liberal politicians. Nugent's ...

43 minutes ago
Views: 48 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Romantic Heretic
AR GOP AG Candidate Removed From Voting Rolls For Voter Fraud
Arkansas Republican Attorney General candidate, Leslie Rutledge, is removed from the voting rolls due to the fact that she registered in multiple states as well as sent in an absentee ballot for the 2008 election. Hilariously, the Republican National Lawyers ...

2 hours, 21 minutes ago
Views: 93 • Comments: 3
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
Randall Gross
Cisco Bulks Up Branch Routers for Cloud
Normally I don't post new equipment PR, but this is significantly new due to the hybrid wireless network functionality. Cisco is fortifying its ISR branch routers to give users more options when accessing cloud services and backing up primary links. ...

4 hours, 47 minutes ago
Views: 75 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
I Stand With Big Sodomy!
School spending by affluent is widening wealth gap
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Education is supposed to help bridge the gap between the wealthiest people and everyone else. Ask the experts, and they'll count the ways Preschool can lift children from poverty. Top high schools prepare students for college. ...

1 day, 20 hours ago
Views: 151 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
Skip Intro
Supreme Court Grants Ohio’s Request to Shorten Early-Voting Period - LA Times
The Supreme Court ordered a halt Monday to early voting in Ohio that was scheduled to begin this week, clearing the way for the state to close polls on the Sunday before election day, when African American turnout has ...

1 day, 22 hours ago
Views: 220 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 13 • Rating: 2
HamSandwich
Activist who urged killing Israelis nominated for top EU award
Alaa Abdel Fattah, 32, an Egyptian blogger and political activist, has been arrested numerous times by Egyptian authorities since the eruption of a popular revolution in the country in early 2011. Abdel Fattah, who boasts 626,000 followers on Twitter ...

3 days, 12 hours ago
Views: 312 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Rightwingconspirator
Visiting Mt Wilson And It’s Dramatic Weather
All taken just yesterday. Canon 7D and a Tamron lens. The clouds ripping through were just amazing. And some stunning Fall color in unexpected places

3 days, 15 hours ago
Views: 297 • Comments: 5
Tweets: 2 • Rating: 6
Souliren
Dropkick Murphys - Celtic punk from the USA?
I never heard of these guys until a half hour ago. Apparently they are famous. A Celtic punk band from Massachusetts? There is art here. The Rose Tattoo I'm shipping up to Boston.

5 days, 15 hours ago
Views: 532 • Comments: 17
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 6
 Frank says:

The more BORING a child is, the more the parents, when showing off the child, receive adulation for being GOOD PARENTS -- because they have a TAME CHILD-CREATURE in their house.