TwitterFacebook

Wingnut Free Verse of the Day: “TOTAL FAKE”

Skeeter poetry slam
Wingnuts • Views: 29,886
DERP

Today’s wingnut free verse comes from the comment section for this post by the Internet’s Dumbest Man, Jim Hoft, the mighty Gateway Pundit: Gun Expert: “Obama Shoots a Gun Like He Throws a Baseball” …(President Panzy Pants) | the Gateway Pundit.

Quality wingnut-speak there: Obama shoots like a PANZY! Har de har har durr. Hoft quotes an anonymous source for this breaking news:

An anonymous gun expert, who did not wish to be identified, had this to say about Obama’s shooting style.

“Either the recoil kicked his ass or he doesn’t know to lean into the shot when shooting. He shoots a gun like he throws a baseball. That’s a ported shot gun. (holes - venting - at the end of the barrel. Less recoil.) You port really high power firearms to reduce the kick when fired. It helps with control and is less punishing. The smoke coming out of the top of the barrel lessens the muzzle jump and recoil. It means he’s a panzy. And it still threw him back. It also means he never shoots a gun.”

This is why Jim Hoft has such a reputation as a brilliant conservative essayist.

Meanwhile, at every single right wing blog, commenters are raving that the White House’s skeet-shooting photo is a PHOTOSHOP FAKE — they can tell by analyzing the pixels. And one of the best comments we’ve found in this vein comes from Hoft’s post, so maybe it wasn’t a complete waste after all.

Reformatted as free verse, we’ll title this one:

TOTAL FAKE

TOTAL FAKE..

Here’s why.
Cheek pressed against a fired
shot gun doesn’t fare well.

It’s an idiot who does this
or gets a hell
of a bruise.

Smoke is photo shopped.

If he just pulled the trigger
his cheek wouldn’t be fixed
on the butt
if the gun.

His shoulder would
be jammed backwards.

He’s aiming
ground level.

Unless he’s aiming
for the skeet “shooter” he’s
not aiming high enough

for skeet.

White House Releases Skeet Shooting Photo, WaPo Fact Checker Still Skeptical

And the right wing blogs are still ranting away about conspiracies
Wingnuts • Views: 30,599

Pro tip: if you want to be taken seriously as a fact checker, maybe you should avoid writing absolutely ridiculous articles like this one: The White House’s Curious Silence About Obama’s Claim of Skeet Shooting.

Yes, Washington Post fact checker Glenn Kessler actually seems to believe this is an important issue, or at least important enough to pander to the right wing crackpots who think the President lies about everything and anything.

Today the White House released a photo to prove that yes, President Obama really has done skeet shooting at Camp David, and how pathetic is it that this is even necessary at all?

Click to enlarge

Would you believe this still isn’t good enough for Glenn Kessler?

UPDATE, Feb. 2: The White House released this photograph of the president at the Camp David skeet range on Aug. 4, 2010. We are pleased the White House has become more forthcoming about this matter, though it does not quite answer the questions concerning the president’s ‘all the time’ language. What do readers think?

Good grief.

By the way, ace fact checker Glenn Kessler got the date of the photo wrong in his post. The caption at the White House Flickr page:

President Barack Obama shoots clay targets on the range at Camp David, Md., Saturday, Aug. 4, 2012.

Meanwhile, breitbart.com moron John Nolte is still ranting away about “Skeet-Gate.” Yes, really. They’ve made it into a -Gate.

MEDIA FOLLOWS OBAMA’S ORDERS TO MOCK SKEET-GATE SKEPTICS!!!

For example, Obama is attempting to grab more power for The State and criminals by way of gun control laws that infringe on our Second Amendment civil rights. In order to make his case, Obama is attempting to appear reasonable on the issue of guns, and one way he did this was to reassure Americans that he too is a sport shooter, and enjoys skeet shooting at Camp David.

Now, to those familiar with Obama’s record of opposing guns at every turn and lying about almost everything, that struck us as odd.

Today, however, the White House released a photo that purports to show Obama (love that tucked-in shirt) shooting skeet last August. Except… he’s shooting straight ahead, which means that there’s either a barn door somewhere in need of some patching, or Obama is such an awesome skeet shooter, he hits them as they come out of the firing device.

I keed, I keed. There are legitimate reasons that would explain the angle of his gun, but….

Because the photo is odd, some are asking perfectly legitimate questions.

But not the media.

Ladies and gentlemen, the conservative movement in all its sad, batshit insane glory.

Can we call them “Skeeters” now?

UPDATE at 2/2/13 11:58:48 am

After being most severely mocked throughout the Interwebs, Glenn Kessler has updated his post again. Apparently, he’s now satisfied that President Obama was not telling heinous lies.

UPDATE: As one might expect, there is a vast partisan divide on this, with some readers upset that we did not immediately change our ruling because the president released a photo, as we had requested in our original post. We try not to make snap judgements, but readers argued we had moved the goal posts. So we now have a photo, a news report quoting an anonymous that the president participated in a Marine guard competition and a news report quoting Obama that he has practiced with the Secret Service. The issue is settled, and we award the president a Geppetto Checkmark.

A “Gepetto Checkmark” for the president. I’m sure he’ll cherish it always.

^ back to top ^

TwitterFacebook

Turn off all ads for a full year by subscribing!
For about 33 cents a day (per month) or 22 cents a day (per year), our subscription option turns off all advertisements at LGF!
Read more...

► LGF Headlines

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Articles

  • Loading...

► Tweeted Pages

  • Loading...

► Top 10 Comments

  • Loading...

► Bottom Comments

  • Loading...

► Recent Comments

  • Loading...

► Tools/Info

► Tag Cloud

► Contact

You must have Javascript enabled to use the contact form.
Your email:

Subject:

Message:


Messages may be published unless you request otherwise.
Tech Note:
Using the Contact Form
LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Last updated: 2014-03-07 2:19 pm PST

LGF User's Guide
Recent Pages
Randall Gross
Hands on With Facebook’s Nearby Friends
There's a lot that Facebook allows you to share with your friends. On Thursday, the company added "exact location" to that list. Facebook's new Nearby Friends feature enables you to flip a switch to start broadcasting your location with friends in the area. If you see someone nearby with whom you want to meet up, you can tap a button, and send them ...

2 hours, 21 minutes ago
Views: 49 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
FemNaziBitch
A 12-Year-Old’s Trek of Despair Ends in a Noose at the Border
Noemi Álvarez Quillay took the first steps of the 6,500-mile journey to New York City from the southern highlands of Ecuador on Tuesday, Feb. 4, after darkness fell. A bashful, studious girl, Noemi walked 10 minutes across dirt roads that cut through corn and potato fields, reaching the highway to Quito. She carried a small suitcase. Her grandfather Cipriano Quillay flagged down a ...

2 hours, 23 minutes ago
Views: 106 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
palmerskiss
Debate Discrimination - Houston Chronicle
We're glad to see Mayor Annise Parker finally stand up and propose a human rights commission that will provide local due process for victims of public discrimination. Parker told the Chronicle editorial board that she plans to release a formal version of her proposal within the next few weeks, but sometimes the process is just as important as the result. As the energy ...

20 hours, 2 minutes ago
Views: 102 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
cycroft
Russ Campbell’s Blog: Bill C-23, Fair Elections Act Seems Now on Solid Ground
Now that a Sen­ate com­mit­tee has rec­om­mended nine changes to Bill C-23, Fair Elec­tions Act, the leg­is­la­tion seems pretty solid. And, since Pierre Poilievre has, ap­par­ently, in­di­cated pri­vately that he's open to changes, an amended ver­sion of the bill will likely be­come law by this sum­mer. We would prob­a­bly have got­ten to this point ear­lier had not the min­is­ter re­spon­si­ble for the bill ...

22 hours, 32 minutes ago
Views: 83 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
MichaelJ
Live now - 2014 Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach - ASP World Tour
More: 2014 Rip Curl Pro Bells Beach - ASP Iconic Bells Beach in Victoria, Australia once again hosts the world's best surfers for the 41st running of the Bells Beach Contest. New feature in this broadcast: drone cam!

1 day, 18 hours ago
Views: 186 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 3 • Rating: 0
Skip Intro
Why the Temperature of the Yellow Sea Is a Big Deal, and Other Questions About the South Korean Ferry Disaster
The boat ran into trouble several dozen miles from Jindo, an island that sticks out of South Korea's southwestern corner like a little toe. Jindo is surrounded by a group of even smaller islands that are slightly farther afield from the mainland. The ferry was curving around those small islands at the time it issued a distress call. What caused the disaster? We ...

1 day, 23 hours ago
Views: 358 • Comments: 3
Tweets: 25 • Rating: 1
Idle Drifter
Calgary stabbings: How knife crime in Canada can cause ‘moral panic’
What Calgary police chief Rick Hanson called the "worst mass murder" in the city's history didn't end at the barrel of a gun. Instead, the 22-year-old suspect identified on Tuesday as Matthew de Grood is accused of entering the kitchen at a house party, taking "a large knife" and using it to fatally stab four men and one woman, all of whom were students ...

3 days, 10 hours ago
Views: 243 • Comments: 5
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
aagcobb
New York Electoral College: State Joins National Popular Vote Interstate Compact.
Ben Mathis-Lilley, Slate: New York Electoral College: State Joins National Popular Vote Interstate Compact. Instead of pushing for a Constitutional amendment, which would have to be ratified in 38 states, advocates ask individual state legislatures to pass an agreement: that they'll pledge all their presidential electors to the winner of the national popular vote as soon as enough other states pass the law to ...

3 days, 16 hours ago
Views: 255 • Comments: 7
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
Political Atheist
The Insane History of Rockets at Jet Propulsion Laboratories
The Rocket Boys In the late 1930s, a group of Caltech graduate students were booted off campus after blowing up (part of!) their building during a rocket test gone awry. Unwilling to give up on the joy of semi-controlled explosions, the students and a few of their friends headed into the San Gabriel Mountains. They picked a deserted gully -- Arroyo Seco -- ...

4 days, 13 hours ago
Views: 286 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
iossarian
Drug Companies Want Your Money
Two thematically-related stories on the BBC at the moment: UK drug company Glaxo 'paid bribes to Polish doctors' UK drug company GlaxoSmithKline is facing a criminal investigation in Poland for allegedly bribing doctors, BBC Panorama has discovered. Tamiflu: Millions wasted on flu drug, claims major report Hundreds of millions of pounds may have been wasted on a drug for flu that works no better ...

4 days, 19 hours ago
Views: 280 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 8 • Rating: 0
 Frank says:

Get yer ass out there and register to VOTE!