Congress Repeals Ban on Perpetual Motion Machines
WASHINGTON - In a bold move to lessen our dependence on traditional fuels and decrease carbon emissions, Congress voted to repeal an old Republican ban on perpetual motion machines, clearing the way for the development of self-propelled water wheels, self-flowing flasks, float belts, zeromotors, and other environmentally-friendly industrial equipment….
Nobel Prize laureate and Oscar winning film maker Al Gore cheered the repeal, noting that “the science supporting perpetual motion is settled.” Now that he no longer has to worry about his carbon footprint, he can also repeal the self-imposed restriction on nightly big steaks, frequent trips on his private jet, and leaving his 20-room mansion lit up all night long.
In spite of the evidence to the contrary, there still remain pockets of bitter scientists nationwide who, in the words of President Obama, “have been passed over for government research grants, and it’s not surprising then they get bitter, they cling to outmoded dogmas that perpetual motion will