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1 Dark_Falcon  Mon, Oct 18, 2010 9:41:09pm

Dork Bluff: Don not use around Ludwig. It will backfire, and your ass will get kicked.

2 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Mon, Oct 18, 2010 9:49:21pm

re: #1 Dark_Falcon

Dork Bluff: Don not use around Ludwig. It will backfire, and your ass will get kicked.

True that. It almost makes me miss Snork, Iron Fist and GaryCooper. Well almost.

3 CuriousLurker  Mon, Oct 18, 2010 11:19:30pm

Ha! I love it. :-D

4 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Mon, Oct 18, 2010 11:34:25pm

re: #3 CuriousLurker

Ha! I love it. :-D

A true story I assure you.

To be fair to the Renaissance festival, there is also a lot of really nice stuff you can get that is hand made by hard working people at reasonable prices.

Glass, pottery, leather goods, costumes and jewelry that are unique and made by a craftsman are wonderful things to have in this day and age of cookie cutter everything. We got some lovely carved crystal wine glasses, and she got that corset for instance.

There is also a lot of fun to be had in terms of music and costume - even if it is an open air, theme mall.

On the other hand, there is a lot of Dork Bluff that goes on as well.

And did I mention that Miss S. looked fabulous in a corset...

5 William Barnett-Lewis  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 6:59:11am

Good story and certainly true. I get a kick, sometimes, watching similar stupidity at gun shops &, even more, at gun shows. Especially the ones who try sell people a Glock .40 & an AR clone as the solution to everything their heart desires :rolleyes:

(Suffice to say, I'll take a revolver & a good bolt action instead)

6 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:05:39am

Renaissance festival! Well, well, well. You are truly a man of many talents. I used to enjoy taking my kids to Civil War reenactments, but Zedushka always refused to come with us. Why should he, he dresses like that every day!

What's the difference between a Victorian reenactment civilian frock coat and a Hasidic kapotah?

7 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:06:20am

Oh and NOTHING would get me into that iron underwear that ladies wore in the 1860's.

8 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:34:08am

re: #5 wlewisiii

Good story and certainly true. I get a kick, sometimes, watching similar stupidity at gun shops &, even more, at gun shows. Especially the ones who try sell people a Glock .40 & an AR clone as the solution to everything their heart desires :rolleyes:

(Suffice to say, I'll take a revolver & a good bolt action instead)

It happens in the art world too:

The rhythmic color patterns and abstract uses of form are a comment on the banality of modern life, but the strong diagonals make this striking piece whimsical.

And the Scotch world:

GlennShmeggegge has been distilling a secret recipe since 1121, that includes the best of highland malts, pure mountain water, and William Wallace's left foot. In order to even look at a bottle, you need to fight ancient Celtic warriors under moonlight, to receive the blessings of Glaladriel.

9 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:40:34am

re: #7 Alouette

Oh and NOTHING would get me into that iron underwear that ladies wore in the 1860's.

Yeah, that sort of thing strikes me as a bit extreme. What Miss S. was wearing was nothing like that. It is made of some heavy, but soft, sort of blue brocade, has three panels and ties together with leather thongs - actually very Renaissance.

Her comment was, it rests on the hips, supports the back and the waist goes in while the "girls" go up.

10 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:49:12am

I made costumes for my kids, a Union cavalry officer for my son (he later joined the IDF), a Confederate officer for my youngest son (he lives in Alabama now) and a "Scarlett O'Hara" dress for my daughter complete with hoop skirt, lace gloves, white lace sleeves and a big round straw hat.

They loved those costumes and wore them every Purim until they outgrew them.

11 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 8:27:20am

re: #4 LudwigVanQuixote

A true story I assure you.

To be fair to the Renaissance festival, there is also a lot of really nice stuff you can get that is hand made by hard working people at reasonable prices.

Glass, pottery, leather goods, costumes and jewelry that are unique and made by a craftsman are wonderful things to have in this day and age of cookie cutter everything. We got some lovely carved crystal wine glasses, and she got that corset for instance.

There is also a lot of fun to be had in terms of music and costume - even if it is an open air, theme mall.

On the other hand, there is a lot of Dork Bluff that goes on as well.

And did I mention that Miss S. looked fabulous in a corset...

The festival sounds like lots of fun. And it sounds like you're completely smitten with Miss S. ;o)

I love it when someone tries to pull a computer related dork bluff on me.

When I lived in Atlantic City I had a friend who owned a computer repair shop where he also built & sold a few systems.

One day this young guy walks in, starts looking at one of the computers, and then begins tossing around all kinds of technical jargon trying to haggle over the price. I can tell that Barry (my friend) is getting annoyed with him because both of our B.S. detectors are going off like crazy.

Finally the guys points at the system's speakers and says. "So what's the dot pitch of these speakers?" Barry and I look at each other, and his expression is priceless—so much so that I had to choke out an "excuse me" and rush out of the room lest I burst out laughing and ruin the sale.

Yeah, he ended up selling it to the dork for more than it was worth. I felt no pity for little jerk because if he'd just been honest, Barry would've given him a fair deal.

12 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 8:49:12am

re: #11 CuriousLurker

The festival sounds like lots of fun. And it sounds like you're completely smitten with Miss S. ;o)

I love it when someone tries to pull a computer related dork bluff on me.

When I lived in Atlantic City I had a friend who owned a computer repair shop where he also built & sold a few systems.

One day this young guy walks in, starts looking at one of the computers, and then begins tossing around all kinds of technical jargon trying to haggle over the price. I can tell that Barry (my friend) is getting annoyed with him because both of our B.S. detectors are going off like crazy.

Finally the guys points at the system's speakers and says. "So what's the dot pitch of these speakers?" Barry and I look at each other, and his expression is priceless—so much so that I had to choke out an "excuse me" and rush out of the room lest I burst out laughing and ruin the sale.

Yeah, he ended up selling it to the dork for more than it was worth. I felt no pity for little jerk because if he'd just been honest, Barry would've given him a fair deal.

I love it! That is sort of a reverse dork bluff!

13 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 8:51:03am

re: #10 Alouette

I made costumes for my kids, a Union cavalry officer for my son (he later joined the IDF), a Confederate officer for my youngest son (he lives in Alabama now) and a "Scarlett O'Hara" dress for my daughter complete with hoop skirt, lace gloves, white lace sleeves and a big round straw hat.

They loved those costumes and wore them every Purim until they outgrew them.

I have to say, those union (and for that matter confederate) officer uniforms were snazzy. I am glad that at least the Marines had the sense to keep with uniforms that look awesome.

14 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 8:56:07am

I'd love it if people shared some more Dork Bluff stories.

15 Jadespring  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:00:49am

re: #14 LudwigVanQuixote

I'd love it if people shared some more Dork Bluff stories.

I've got a couple that combine Dork Bluff with I guess could be call Girls Shouldn't/Don't Know about this stuff Bluff.

When I have some more time I'll share one.

I find these quite fun especially when I figure it out right away and suck them in with a bit of dumb female act.

16 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:02:06am

re: #12 LudwigVanQuixote

I love it! That is sort of a reverse dork bluff!

Heh, yeah, it is a reverse dork bluff. I usually get the regular kind when I have to call a client's web hosting company over some problem and the tech support guys don't want to deal with it.

17 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:02:55am

re: #11 CuriousLurker

The festival sounds like lots of fun. And it sounds like you're completely smitten with Miss S. ;o)

Rennfests are lots of fun. If your state has a good one, I highly recommend going.

As to miss S. Smitten in the proper word. We are planning on getting married.

18 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:05:58am

re: #17 LudwigVanQuixote

Rennfests are lots of fun. If your state has a good one, I highly recommend going.

As to miss S. Smitten in the proper word. We are planning on getting married.

That's great! Congrats. Oh, wait... I mean mazel tov!

19 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:07:35am

re: #15 Jadespring

I find these quite fun especially when I figure it out right away and suck them in with a bit of dumb female act.

Ah, yes. That trap is especially satisfying. *evil grin*

20 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:13:24am

re: #15 Jadespring

I've got a couple that combine Dork Bluff with I guess could be call Girls Shouldn't/Don't Know about this stuff Bluff.

When I have some more time I'll share one.

I find these quite fun especially when I figure it out right away and suck them in with a bit of dumb female act.

Ohhh please write one up!

Both Miss S. and my sisters are very into that sort of thing.

In fact, Miss S. got me with it.

I happen to like good single malt scotches. Early on in our courtship, Miss S mentioned that she does too. We were at my place and I brought out some nice bottles (and they are nice bottles). I had a Lagavulin 16, a Dalwhine 15 a Balvenie Doublewood and a bottle of Nadurra Glenlivet 18.

I wanted to impress her. I was a little nervous, so I chattered about the bottles a little. She smiled appreciatively, asked for the Nadurra, and complimented me on my scotch knowledge.

About a month later, I was at her place and she presented me with her collection of scotches that she picked up in Scotland after a scotch tasting tour. These are the sort of bottles that the Scots generally keep to themselves.

"YOU HUSTLED ME!" I laughed.

"Well," she said, "you do have nice scotch and your bottles are about as good as you can get in America without spending way too much. Besides, you were trying so hard. I didn't want to discourage you!"

All of this said with a super innocent look on her face and her big green eyes going blink blink...

21 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:14:08am

re: #18 CuriousLurker

That's great! Congrats. Oh, wait... I mean mazel tov!

Thank you! And believe it or not, well wishes transcend language.

22 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:19:19am

Ohh and re, my story in 20, I learned my lesson.

I waited her out, when it came talking about wine. She caught on that I was waiting her out too. So we had about a month of neither of us talking wine.

23 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:25:58am

re: #21 LudwigVanQuixote

Thank you! And believe it or not, well wishes transcend language.

In that case let me add a big "mabruk!", and this verse:

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

24 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:29:22am

re: #23 CuriousLurker

In that case let me add a big "mabruk!", and this verse:

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

That is beautiful and thank you.

Sometime soon, G-d willing, she and I will say to each other,

Ani l' dodi. V'dodi li.

It means:

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.

25 Vicious Michigan Union Thug  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:32:32am

re: #24 LudwigVanQuixote

That is beautiful and thank you.

Sometime soon, G-d willing, she and I will say to each other,

Ani l' dodi. V'dodi li.

It means:

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.

Shop at the Zionist Mall for all your wedding supplies.

BTW what kiddush becher did you get for your nephew? I just received my quarterly check from the silver vendors and it lists all the items that were purchased but not by whom.

26 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:36:22am

re: #25 Alouette

Shop at the Zionist Mall for all your wedding supplies.

BTW what kiddush becher did you get for your nephew? I just received my quarterly check from the silver vendors and it lists all the items that were purchased but not by whom.

Alas, I did not. I truly intended to, but Mom, beat me to the punch and had apparently gotten one on her own the day before.

27 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 9:51:08am

re: #24 LudwigVanQuixote

That is beautiful and thank you.

Sometime soon, G-d willing, she and I will say to each other,

Ani l' dodi. V'dodi li.

It means:

I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.

That is beautiful as well. You're blessed to have found each other.

*mushy/happy sigh*

28 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 10:12:13am

re: #27 CuriousLurker

That is beautiful as well. You're blessed to have found each other.

*mushy/happy sigh*

So true. I add a little extra thanks to my morning prayers each day. I hope she feels blessed to - she certainly tells me so. I just don't get how someone as amazing as her chose me.

And no, it is not that I need my ego boosted any more than it is, or that I don't value myself. Rather, it is just an honest reflection, that being with her is always going to challenge me to try to be worthy of her.

That doesn't mean that she doesn't drive me crazy sometimes too. But in balance, I have a better appreciation of the notion of the people being preserved in the merit of our righteous women. She is kinder than I am, giving, honest and hard working. She worries about people and caring for people. She is brilliant, educated, eloquent and funny. She is genuine, vivacious and has a happy bounce when she's happy.

In Hebrew, we would say she has great midot.

Like the old song, I'll keep her warm, and she keeps me sane.

She is also fabulously beautiful with great blue-green eyes, a quick and genuine smile, think brown hair (with reddish gold highlights) and the sort of curves that make a man grateful, upon seeing them, to be a man.

Yeah, I have been smitten.

29 CuriousLurker  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 10:45:31am

re: #28 LudwigVanQuixote

What two people don't drive each other a little nuts sometimes? It's salt; makes things tastier. Just try never to go to sleep angry. Love, trust and mutual respect & forgiveness are the only things that matter at the end of the day, and it sounds like you guys have that in spades.

Miss S sounds amazing & wonderful. You are indeed a lucky man, and I'm glad to hear you're smart enough to recognize what a treasure you've found—too many people don't until it's too late. I suspect she is equally wise and will fully appreciate your devotion (and return it so that it keeps building upon itself and growing). Please pass on my mabruk to her.

May your life together be joyful & long.

30 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 11:07:50am

re: #29 CuriousLurker

Please pass on my mabruk to her.

I did. She had just called.

May your life together be joyful & long.

Amen.

31 What, me worry?  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 11:09:32am

Ludwig, would you consider a Renn Faire wedding? It might be tough, but I think you could pull it off.

I was married at the Rennaissance Faire in Riverside, California in 2003. It was my second marriage so I wanted to do what I always wanted. My first wedding was a complete disaster, my father died 2 weeks before, my mother broke her ankle, my aunt was hospitalized with cancer, on and on and on. I should have taken it as a hint.

I decided to do a Renn wedding this time. I did everything myself. Took me 6 months. I made the garland hairpieces for all the girls, medieval invitations and "jeweled" gift bags for the guests. We had a ton of kids so I made special medievel coloring books and toys. I also made scrolls containing a unique love poem from medieval poets along with the wedding program. A whole bunch more stuff. It was an awful lot of work but every bit of it was a joy. I never had so much fun in my life, right up to the last minute.

We bought our swords on E-bay. I got most everything on E-bay or at our local faire. My hubby and his brother got claymores. Giant things, about 5.2 feet long. Each groomsmen got a sword, all different. I only cared about the price really, and found a super deal on e-bay - 5 swords for $100. They looked fantastic. All different. The Claymores were under $100.

If you think this might be something you'd like to do, you have my email and I'd be thrilled to help you guys or give you any kind of pointers.

32 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 11:28:44am

re: #31 marjoriemoon

Ludwig, would you consider a Renn Faire wedding? It might be tough, but I think you could pull it off.

I was married at the Rennaissance Faire in Riverside, California in 2003. It was my second marriage so I wanted to do what I always wanted. My first wedding was a complete disaster, my father died 2 weeks before, my mother broke her ankle, my aunt was hospitalized with cancer, on and on and on. I should have taken it as a hint.

I decided to do a Renn wedding this time. I did everything myself. Took me 6 months. I made the garland hairpieces for all the girls, medieval invitations and "jeweled" gift bags for the guests. We had a ton of kids so I made special medievel coloring books and toys. I also made scrolls containing a unique love poem from medieval poets along with the wedding program. A whole bunch more stuff. It was an awful lot of work but every bit of it was a joy. I never had so much fun in my life, right up to the last minute.

We bought our swords on E-bay. I got most everything on E-bay or at our local faire. My hubby and his brother got claymores. Giant things, about 5.2 feet long. Each groomsmen got a sword, all different. I only cared about the price really, and found a super deal on e-bay - 5 swords for $100. They looked fantastic. All different. The Claymores were under $100.

If you think this might be something you'd like to do, you have my email and I'd be thrilled to help you guys or give you any kind of pointers.

That is so sweet - and I like the idea.

Of course, I am something of a figurehead in the wedding plans. My opinion is dutifully asked for, and it might even be taken into consideration.

We're probably going to be a bit more traditional - which suits me just fine. Evening wedding, chuppa under the stars.

The best wedding I have ever been to in terms of location and perfection of the ceremony was in Jerusalem though. Unfortunately, doing such a thing will be impossible for us.

Someone I knew from Yeshiva got married.

It was in the old Hospitaler ruins near the Kotel.

For those who have not seen it, all that is left is the stone central floor, and these great Gothic arches.

In the middle, on a clear starry night, was the chuppa, lit from underneath. It gave off a warm, white glow, reflected on the ancient stones.

The Rosh Yeshiva officiated. He was a kindly man who cared for both of them very much.

The students and rabbis of the Yeshiva sang the groom to the chuppa, and turned with a *snap* for the bride.

Perhaps the best part was that the Rosh Yeshiva said something to them quietly there, before reciting the blessings in a full voice. You could see from the looks on all three of their faces that it was meaningful. But it was private, and not for public consumption. It was the perfect mix of public and private, with joy and a deep gravitas.

33 What, me worry?  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 1:01:27pm

re: #32 LudwigVanQuixote

That is so sweet - and I like the idea.

Of course, I am something of a figurehead in the wedding plans. My opinion is dutifully asked for, and it might even be taken into consideration.

We're probably going to be a bit more traditional - which suits me just fine. Evening wedding, chuppa under the stars.

The best wedding I have ever been to in terms of location and perfection of the ceremony was in Jerusalem though. Unfortunately, doing such a thing will be impossible for us.

Someone I knew from Yeshiva got married.

It was in the old Hospitaler ruins near the Kotel.

For those who have not seen it, all that is left is the stone central floor, and these great Gothic arches.

In the middle, on a clear starry night, was the chuppa, lit from underneath. It gave off a warm, white glow, reflected on the ancient stones.

The Rosh Yeshiva officiated. He was a kindly man who cared for both of them very much.

The students and rabbis of the Yeshiva sang the groom to the chuppa, and turned with a *snap* for the bride.

Perhaps the best part was that the Rosh Yeshiva said something to them quietly there, before reciting the blessings in a full voice. You could see from the looks on all three of their faces that it was meaningful. But it was private, and not for public consumption. It was the perfect mix of public and private, with joy and a deep gravitas.

Oh how lovely. I can just picture it! When we were in Jerusalem, we stumbled upon a wedding, I forgot where. It had a big stone arch, kind of like the St. Louis arch, but not quite so large. Anyway, they let us watch and it was lovely.

Since you're a fella, you're just there for the ride and to pay for the booze :) I guess theme weddings are all the rage, but I understand traditional. There's nothing better than a traditional Jewish wedding. Well except for maybe a Jewish renaissance wedding :p (but I'm partial!)

Since we married in CA, we wanted to have a party in FL, but ran outa cash. It's not off the table. I still want to do a Renn dinner for all our friends at the faire for one of our anniversary's.

34 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 1:46:39pm

re: #33 marjoriemoon

That was the Hurva. It was a monumental and important synagogue that had stood for centuries and was destroyed by the Jordanians.

It has since been rebuilt and recently opened its doors.

Am Chai Y'srael.

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

35 What, me worry?  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 6:16:51pm

re: #34 LudwigVanQuixote

That was the Hurva. It was a monumental and important synagogue that had stood for centuries and was destroyed by the Jordanians.

It has since been rebuilt and recently opened its doors.

Am Chai Y'srael.

[Link: en.wikipedia.org...]

That is it, my friend!

36 Romantic Heretic  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:35:42pm

re: #17 LudwigVanQuixote

Rennfests are lots of fun. If your state has a good one, I highly recommend going.

As to miss S. Smitten in the proper word. We are planning on getting married.

Very cool. Congratulations.

37 Romantic Heretic  Tue, Oct 19, 2010 7:46:09pm

My reverse Dork Bluff story, sorta.

A client for a company I used to work for as a computer programmer called me up one day. He'd gotten a bee in his bonnet. You see he'd seen a show on TV about 'computer vision' and he decided he had to have it.

Specifically he wanted to hook up TV cameras to his Digital Control mini-computer (this was the late 80s) and they could 'watch' his production line then update his order and inventory systems.

I had trouble believing what I was hearing. 'Computer vision' was a pipe dream back then, and I think it still is now. I tried to explain this to him but he wasn't buying. He'd seen it done on TV!

So, instead I started outlining the project for him: couple of Cray supercomputers, top researchers hired away from MIT and Princeton, building needed to house all this. "At least $25 million," I told him. (About three times the value of his company)

That convinced him to drop the project.

Instead I did a little something with laser printers and hand scanners that worked just as well, was delivered in a month and the employees that actually had to do the work loved.

Yay me.


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