We all know that lazy, good fer nothing American kids need a swift kick in the panst, right? That lay-about 14 year old kid on your couch needs to get off the Xbox and get outside in the fresh air, maybe pull a graveyard shift at the local stop and rob minimart or hustle the housecleaning at the flea bag no-tell motel.

At least, that is what Missouri state senator Jane Cunningham thinks we need to do.

Smilin’ Jane thinks the “nanny state” is keeping parents of young teens and pre teens from instilling a proper work ethic. So, she is submitting legislation that would repeal virtually all of Missouri’s child labor laws…except for laws that keep children from working in mines, explosives factories and quarries. Isn’t that special.

Everything is else is fair game, and she expressly singles out letting young children work late at night in places where…well, just see for yourself.

SB 222 – This act modifies the child labor laws. It eliminates the prohibition on employment of children under age fourteen. Restrictions on the number of hours and restrictions on when a child may work during the day are also removed. It also repeals the requirement that a child ages fourteen or fifteen obtain a work certificate or work permit in order to be employed. Children under sixteen will also be allowed to work in any capacity in a motel, resort or hotel where sleeping accommodations are furnished. It also removes the authority of the director of the Division of Labor Standards to inspect employers who employ children and to require them to keep certain records for children they employ. It also repeals the presumption that the presence of a child in a workplace is evidence of employment.

There you go, lizards.

1850’s London was just so awesome the first time around that we need to have a second go at it.