Some problems have very deep roots

Culture • May 2011 • Views: 1,042

I saw this article today (I read it quickly, because my teenage daughter was waiting to read it after me.)

I don’t know what to say. How do you stop a custom that is rooted in ways of thinking so deep that an entire society cannot seem to think otherwise? Education is hard to obtain, and it is vitally important to the family that the girl doesn’t bring shame to the family, and so a 5 year-old is married off and will have her wedding night when she is 12.

This isn’t healthy. This isn’t right. But how can you change thousands of years worth of thought that girls are simultaneously not as important and the bearers of the family’s honor? They see themselves as protecting their daughters, not limiting them, in part because they cannot see what else their daughters could be or achieve or learn.

ngm.nationalgeographic.com

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8 comments

researchok May 17, 2011 7:50:47pm

These ‘men’ and especially the ‘fathers’ of these ~~girls~~ children need to be taken out and… be subjected to severe corporal punishment.

Ahem.

Mostly sane, most of the time. May 17, 2011 8:04:43pm

re: #1 researchok

These ‘men’ and especially the ‘fathers’ of these ~~girls~~ children need to be taken out and… be subjected to severe corporal punishment.

Ahem.

The picture that blew me away is the one you see when you click on the link. I’ve seen a lot of pictures that look like this one. Tall man, girl that doesn’t even come to his shoulder. Except the ones that I see are fathers and daughters.

b_sharp May 17, 2011 8:11:51pm

re: #1 researchok

These ‘men’ and especially the ‘fathers’ of these ~~girls~~ children need to be taken out and… be subjected to severe corporal punishment.

Ahem.

Yah, that’ll do it.

Arranged marriages with child brides is known even in western cultures of a few hundred years ago, especially in extended royal families. We overcame it through expanded inclusive education, advanced understanding of female physiology, and a standard of living that decreased mortality rates.

Beating the crap out of the men, making it illegal and throwing them in jail or even taking the girls away from the parents will just force it farther underground and make it harder to find and expose.

As was said, it isn’t simple.

researchok May 17, 2011 8:13:58pm

re: #3 b_sharp

Yah, that’ll do it.

Arranged marriages with child brides is known even in western cultures of a few hundred years ago, especially in extended royal families. We overcame it through expanded inclusive education, advanced understanding of female physiology, and a standard of living that decreased mortality rates.

Beating the crap out of the men, making it illegal and throwing them in jail or even taking the girls away from the parents will just force it farther underground and make it harder to find and expose.

As was said, it isn’t simple.

You’re right, of course.

It’s just that I have a daughter. My response is visceral.

b_sharp May 17, 2011 8:31:50pm

re: #4 researchok

You’re right, of course.

It’s just that I have a daughter. My response is visceral.

I understand that, I have a daughter too, although she’s grown with her own kid now.

SanFranciscoZionist May 17, 2011 8:34:19pm

“The outsider’s impulse toward child bride rescue scenarios can be overwhelming: Snatch up the girl, punch out the nearby adults, and run. Just make it stop.”

God, I don’t know. I believe the people who say that the grandfather arranging the marriage for the five-year-old thinks he’s doing something positive.

Long, slow road toward things getting better.

One thing I will suggest does NOT work is pretending this is all about Islam. As your article demonstrates, it’s not.

Mostly sane, most of the time. May 17, 2011 9:09:10pm

I realized I had not said all I had to say on this. It just took a bit to percolate.

We have been talking recently about Sovereign Citizens, who think they don’t need a government, who think they can defend themselves and do without any protection or assistance.

One of the reasons these girls are married young is because that women, in these societies, need to be under the protection of a man to be safe. The five year-old’s grandfather has got to be aware that he is approaching local life expectancy, and he wants assurances for her future.

Do the Sovereign Citizens want this for their wives and daughters? A world in which they are not safe to be unguarded?

This is what “Tribalism” looks like. I prefer a lawful government.

Decatur Deb May 18, 2011 4:56:39am

We are projecting our very local and very temporary modern western ideas of love and sex onto marriage. It has something to do with love and sex, but a surprisingly small part at times. Marriage is one interrelated part of the machine that is a culture. You can tamper with the machine, and sometimes improve it, but you have to do that while the machine is running. If you do it badly, everyone pretty much dies out.

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