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Remember the good ol’ Satanic Panic of the 80s? It was an exciting time when children everywhere were constantly on the brink of performing ritual abuse as instructed by devil-worshipping cult leaders. Or at least that’s what the media — from daytime television to afternoon talk shows and late-night specials — would’ve had you believe.

These days, Middle America has moved on to a sort of Homosexual Panic, where gay culture and media is perceived to be like an exploding fountain pen that will irreversibly stain anything it touches.

In honor of our long-lost national paranoia concerning The Devil, here are some of Crossfade’s favorite accusations of Satanism.