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1 Henchman 25  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 9:57:06am

I'm also certain in his universe that Jesus also carried around a bazooka and turned anyone who disagreed with him into a shower of bloody gore.

2 shutdown  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 9:57:42am

Wow. I learn more about Jesus every day. I had no idea Jesus was a capitalist tool, a slave driver akin to the Egyptian foremen who whipped Jews for being insufficiently engaged in the production chain.
//

3 mr.fusion  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 10:05:32am

re: Jesus of Nazareth

But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. Kick ass and take names!!!

4 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 10:13:17am

Seems to me like if $DEITY wanted them gone, he'd just send some locusts and plagues, or otherwise miracle their asses out of there.

5 Vicious Babushka  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 10:21:46am

What is that thing about camels and threading a needle?

6 Mad Prophet Ludwig  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 10:57:32am

re: #5 Alouette

What is that thing about camels and threading a needle?

Its a quote about the wealthy having a harder time getting into heaven than a camel through the eye of a needle. Great quote really. I never understood how the GOPT/TP bible bangers keep missing it.

7 dragonfire1981  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 11:19:30am

Because Jesus just loved needless violence...

8 Jack Burton  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 12:02:01pm

re: #1 SteelPH

I'm also certain in his universe that Jesus also carried around a bazooka and turned anyone who disagreed with him into a shower of bloody gore.

That Jesus had V.A.T.S. and the Bloody Mess perk apparently.

9 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 12:34:26pm

re: #6 LudwigVanQuixote

Its a quote about the wealthy having a harder time getting into heaven than a camel through the eye of a needle. Great quote really. I never understood how the GOPT/TP bible bangers keep missing it.

That is because mostly they ignore everything that Jesus ever said and instead only listen to Saul/Paul and his misogynistic, homophobic, embittered screeds (he did write at least half (13 books) of the new testament all by himself after all (although theological scholars now consider several to be fraudulent later additions).

Let there be no mistake, the modern American evangelical church was not in any way created in Jesus's image that I can see, it was created in Paul's. Jesus even warned his followers that this would happen, that people would come after him and spread false teachings in his name. Paul is excepted as gospel (literally!) because he is published in the bible, even though it is next to impossible to reconcile many of Paul's teachings with those of Jesus.

Ehh, go figure, if modern evangelicals were not immune to cognitive dissonance their brains would have exploded many years ago.

10 HappyWarrior  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 1:10:18pm

Hahahahah what a dipshit this guy is. He also thinks that the Tea Party is the most awesome movement of all time but OWS protesters deserve to be whipped. What a loser.

11 renata39.5  Fri, Oct 28, 2011 1:45:38pm

Actually, Jesus took a whip not to the thieves and covetous (He had lunch with those guys), but to the usurers who had camped out in the temple creating a monopoly selling sacrifices at exorbitantly marked-up prices. That sounds a little more like those OWS is protesting against, to me.


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