The GOP goes speed dating
Oh, you aren’t home? You said to call and tell you how it went, so I’ll leave a message.
The first guy seemed nice, but a little dull, so I moved on.
There was the one that didn’t show up; she kept hinting she might, but then called in at the last minute she was staying home. Yeah, she’s just not that into me.
Then there was the one with the crazy eyes. Hooo boy, not going there again. Remember the last one like that? That incident with the tariffs? Sure, just because my Teddy had crazy eyes they act like that’s a good thing.
There was the one guy with that name. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t keep from giggling. That’s okay, he wasn’t that cute anyway.
Next we moved on to that one cute guy, but every so often he just said something like he was being contrary. He was charming, though. Played in a rock band. I’ve never had a candidate that played in a rock band.
One guy arrived at the last minute, and he seemed okay, maybe. Not sure I liked the accent, and sometimes he had problems saying what he meant, but then he suddenly swung into weirdville. Really? You can’t make it a short date like this without hitting the sauce?
The businessman seemed a little charismatic, but then my buddy slipped me a note about him. He hemmed, he hawed, so no. No, no, no, you want to be with me, you got to show the proper respect.
So, yeah, I think I’m going to take the date with the dull guy. At least he doesn’t have crazy eyes.