Okay, so this one is both crazy and dead, but frankly, he’s got more mental firepower, even after 200 years of zombification* than most of the candidates. Before zombification, of course, he was always the smartest guy in the room.**

He was against taxation without representation. We could run his sister as VP, and that would make a lot of people happy.

He gave some great speeches, and he was against the writs of assistance. Who isn’t against them? Well, other than people who slept through their history classes and have no idea what I am talking about.

There is the actual mental illness, but that’s treatable with today’s medications. We’ll work on the dead part.

*Not actually a word
**When you’re in a room with John Adams, and he says you’re the smartest guy in the room, you’re always going to be that guy