Okay, so again, there’s the little dead problem, but we can work around that. Zombies are all the rage now.

If we have to nominate a Texan, what’s wrong with this one? He was governor of two states, senator, and even president of Texas during its brief time as a republic.

Okay, yeah, he owned slaves, but he worked at exposing injustices to the Cherokee and he resigned rather than lead Texas while it was confederate. He worked against the spread of slavery.

He did have a little trouble finding the right wife, but he got there. He beat somebody with a cane once for…trash talking him, I think. Who cares? It would make life interesting.

Then there was the battle of San Jacinto. Dude. Just…dude. Okay?

Sam Houston for President. A real Texan. He probably will give speeches drunk, but he’ll own up to it.