Tales From The Holiday Horror Archives
Lexi Ambrose of Bessemer offers a messy tale that ends with a hairy situation.
“One Thanksgiving my mom and dad came to celebrate the holiday with us and to meet their granddaughter’s fiance,” she says. Her mother, who headed the cafeteria-style line, was scooping green bean casserole onto her plate when her father tried to slip into place behind her.
“He accidentally pushed her off-balance, and the green-bean casserole went flying across the room along with her,” Ambrose says. “As she fell, her wig came off and landed in the green beans. My daughter’s fiance picked up the green-bean laced hair, and with a suppressed grin handed it back to my mom and said, `Madam, I think you dropped something.’”
About 10 years ago, Mike McDavid of Mountain Brook broke out his new charcoal smoker for the Thanksgiving turkey.
“It was the most beautiful turkey I’ve ever cooked,” he says. Trouble is, it was cooked outside in 10-degree weather. “I sliced into it, and it was raw.”
He didn’t give up, though.
“I got my wife to turn the microwave on its back, and I crammed this 25-pound turkey into the microwave and set it for 45 minutes,” McDavid says. “When I opened the door, about two gallons of turkey juice blew out of that microwave, all over the kitchen floor. We had to literally skate on turkey gravy to finish getting everything ready.”
Case of the missing plate
As a child, Mary Lou Davis of Vestavia Hills spent Thanksgivings with her cousins at her grandparents’ house at Conecuh National Forest. The year she was 13, she filled her plate and joined the older teens.
“I perched daintily on a chair, then realized I had forgotten utensils,” she says. “I set my plate down and went to retrieve a fork. When I returned and sat in my chair, I found my loaded plate had disappeared.
“OK, y’all,” I said, “What did you do with it?”
After a few rounds of “We didn’t take it,” and “Yes, you did,” Davis felt something warm and wet seeping into the seat of her pants. Then one of her cousins pointed out what was now obvious - “You’re sitting on your plate!”