In case you hadn’t noticed, this is going to be an intensely personal blog post.

I’ll just kick it off with the juicy stuff so you don’t have to wait around: I haven’t had sexual intercourse in almost four years. Now, this is not to say I haven’t done anything I wouldn’t do if Jesus were in the room. I am not perfect. But for the past three and a half years, in the ball park of my love life, there have been no home runs.

I admit I am not a virgin. I am also not sexually repressed. I am not, like the virgin adult character on ‘Glee,’ a frigid obsessive-compulsive with serious psychological problems. I am also not, as far as I know, completely repulsive, although if there’s one thing I’ve learned from observing the world around me, it’s that if you are female, it doesn’t matter what you look like; somebody thinks you are juuuust fine, and that somebody probably has an ad on Craigslist right now.

I simply made a choice, for ethical, moral, and religious reasons, not to engage in baby-making activities, and I have stuck to that decision for well over three years.

You are probably asking yourself, ‘Self, why on earth is she telling me this?’

Good question. I have thought about writing this post for a couple years. I always held back. It is an intensely personal subject, obviously, and a natural squeamishness about sharing something so intimate with the world at large is part of the reason why it took me so long to publish this.

Then there is the fact that I am in a relationship with someone, and revealing this tidbit about me incidentally reveals things about him. Fortunately, I have learned he ‘couldn’t care less.’ (His words.)

Finally, I decided to go for it. You see, the more I think and write and learn about abortion, the more convinced I am that the key to curtailing it is to make people understand that it doesn’t exist in a vacuum. As long as people are having sex despite the fact that they have no interest in or desire for procreation, there are going to be abortions. And yes, this takes into account contraception. There is no fool-proof method of birth control besides abstinence.

I personally believe that the best way for a child to come into the world is being born to two people who are married — that is, committed to one another in the eyes of God and man. Therefore, I decided, to paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, that I was going to be the change I wished to see in the world. I was going to put my money where my mouth was and stop engaging in baby-making activities until I was in the situation I felt was best for baby-having activities.

‘It’s religion!’ some of you are screaming at your monitors, flecks of spittle flying. ‘It’s an arbitrary misogynistic rule of your stupid backwards dumb antiquated oppressive patriarchal religion!’

First of all: calm down. Second: kind of. I mean, it’s both. Moral law is based on natural law. The reason God gave us all these pesky rules is because they’re good for us. When people follow the basic tenets of Judeo-Christian sexual morality, they lead better lives. They lead lives of loving responsibility in which they react to positive pregnancy tests with tears of joy, hugs, and excited phone calls, as opposed to panic-barfing and fear-sweat.

I know this because I’ve lived the other life. I was never what you’d call promiscuous, but nor was I what you’d call sexually moral. Because of my willingness to give of myself completely to men who weren’t willing to give me the same, I lived a life of heartbreak and confusion. Finally, about four years ago, I noticed that every time I gave my heart away, I wasn’t getting it all back. Every go-round, there seemed to be less and less of my heart to give. I was becoming less open, more guarded, even bitter. I could feel a wall growing around my heart, and it was thick and it was high.

I knew that one day, God willing, I was going to have a husband. Did I want him to end up with the leftovers, the dregs? Did I want him to have to mount a high wall to get to my heart?

Meanwhile, I was quite simply losing my self-respect.

I decided then that I was done with that life. But the personal, emotional factors were only part of my decision.

Read the whole thing here

First off, I’d like to say I appreciate the fact this woman has written a well thought out piece that really does make her case strongly. That’s a lot more than can be said for other pro-life writings out there.

Secondly, while I think it’s great this woman has a strong commitment to her religious beliefs and that her boyfriend is cool with everything, I can’t help be a bit bothered by this piece.

Let me state for the record I believe that anyone who has sex should realize there is always the possibility (no matter how remote) that a pregnancy could result in the act. In the same sense, a person who flies regularly should realize there is always the possibility (no matter how remote) that the plane will crash.

The thing is that most people know full well sex can result in a pregnancy. That’s why we have sex in the first place. We also have sex for pleasure. I see no problems with having sex for pleasure. I’m married and my wife I often have sex simply for pleasure. Nothing wrong with that at all.

The notion that sex can never ever be for pleasure is ridiculous and, in my opinion, not even in line with biblical teachings.

The interesting thing about this piece is that it’s written by a woman who is not a virgin. She’s had sex before, but now she’s stopped having sex until she gets married. It’s a bit different from a person who has abstained their entire life.

On a societal level though, we need to be realistic. Pre-martial sex has been going on since the dawn of man and will be going on until we cease to exist from this earth. A person should always have the free will to choose when they want to have sex, whether they are married or not. Sure, certain choices of course go against certain religions and belief systems, but those are consequences the person making the choice has a right to accept.

It’s great to say that married couples make better parents, but I’ve seen married couple with kids who aren’t good parents at all and I’ve seen non married couples with kids who are awesome parents. The door goes both ways.

Ultimately, in my view, it doesn’t matter who is doing the parenting so long as they love, respect and treat their kids right.