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3 comments

1 freetoken  Mon, Jul 30, 2012 10:13:24am

Math iz hard.

2 b_sharp  Mon, Jul 30, 2012 10:38:44am

re: #1 freetoken

Math iz hard.

Apparently so.

3 Tiny Alien Kitties are Watching You  Mon, Jul 30, 2012 12:04:26pm

I have an idiot friend (doesn't everybody have one?) I will call Mike for the purposes of this post. Mike got a call one day from his local Ford dealership, the same one that had been selling him a new car every two years for about three decades. It seems that another customer had put down a deposit on a new (this was 2007) Shelby GT500 Mustang but had declined to pick it up after delivery, perhaps Mike would be interested?

Of course he was, who could resist a red Shelby Mustang with white racing stripes and over 500 horsepower!

I actually went down to the dealership with Mike and then told him not to buy it, yes it was beautiful, yes it made an intoxicating sound when you gunned the engine, yes this was very close to the ultimate dream car for a man having a mid-life crisis, but Mike was old enough to be safely past that by now, or so I thought.

On the Con side of the equation I pointed out the solid rear axle, poor suspension, excess weight, shockingly low gas mileage, missing safety features, excess cabin noise, and flabbergasting asking price. None of which unfortunately seemed to phase Mike in the slightest.

So yes Mike bought the car, and then paid way too much for it considering the dealership had already pocketed the first suckers deposit on it. There was also one other person that Mike had refused to either consult or listen to before buying his dream muscle car, and that was his wife. Bad Idea, very, very, bad idea.

His wife now uses the car to make a four mile daily commute to the hospital where she works, and complains nearly every day about getting only about nine miles to the gallon. Meanwhile Mike seemed to lose a lot of interest in the car after I smoked his ass six times out of six in the quarter mile at the local track with a seven year old (not nearly stock) Toyota Supra...

BTW: the three sets of tires he burned through for our meet-up at the track cost him more than six times what mine did too! Jesus!

So tell me again, why do people want to buy big, fat, and heavy, American made muscle cars anyway? Does owning one make your dick bigger or something? :p


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