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1 wheat-dogghazi  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 6:13:01am

My memory of The Silmarillion is hazy, since I read it maybe 30 years ago, but the summary sounds about right.

2 William Barnett-Lewis  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 6:13:17am

Ok, it's all in the edit pane but not all showing up so here the rest:

MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH:

3 William Barnett-Lewis  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 6:15:49am

Nor in my comment? Bummer. Doing something wrong obviously but that's life.

The link works fine & it's worth the time to go there.

4 Vicious Babushka  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 6:22:22am

re: #2 William Barnett-Lewis

Ok, it's all in the edit pane but not all showing up so here the rest:

MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH:

Check for an open angle bracket < or something.

5 dragonath  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 6:26:06am

Turin: FEEL MY MIGHTY SWORD
Saeros: Ow
Mim: Ow.
Beleg: Ow.
Glaurung: Ow.
Sword: Feed me
Turin: Ow.

6 watching you tiny alien kittens are  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 7:01:15am

MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: [ *heart *heart *heart ] (*heart symbols here were erasing rest of text)
NUMENOREANS: Life is cool. Why do we have to die?
ELVES: You're human?
NUMENOREANS: Can the Valar fix that?
VALAR: No.
NUMENOREANS: That sucks. Go away.
ELVES: Fine.
ELENDILI: Hey! Over here! We still like you!
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Gosh, we're lonely.
NUMENOREANS: Whatever, give us your wealth and your children.
MEN OF MIDDLE-EARTH: Um, okay.
ELENDILI: This isn't gonna end well, is it?
ELVES: No.
TAR-PALANTIR: We're sorry?
GIMILKHAD: *I'm* not.
AR-PHARAZON: Thanks for the throne, dude.
TAR-MIRIEL: Hey!
AR-PHARAZON: Shaddap, woman. Sauron, j00 suxx0r! I 0wnz0r j00!
SAURON: Okay.
AR-PHARAZON: Make me immortal.
SAURON: Human sacrifice is good. Also burn that pesky white tree.
AR-PHARAZON: Um. . .
ISILDUR: Hey! White tree! Got your fruit!
SAURON: *makes chicken noises*
AR-PHARAZON: Fine. Tree burn! Fire pretty!
ELENDIL: Isildur, Anarion, get the boats.
AR-PHARAZON: I've got a huge navy! Let's go conquer Valinor!
VALAR: Oh no you don't. *CRASHBANGBOOM*
AR-PHARAZON & CO.: Eeek!
ELENDIL, ISILDUR, ANARION: Wheee!
NUMENOREANS: Arrgh!
NUMENOR: SPLOOSH.
SAURON: Bwa ha ha! Um, where's my body?
ILUVATAR: Did I mention the world is round now?
NUMENOREANS IN EXILE: Well, crap.

OF THE RINGS OF POWER AND THE THIRD AGE:

ELVES: Wonder what's going on over the ocean. This crafting deal is pretty sweet, though!
DWARVES: Yeah, seriously.
ANNATAR: Hi, elves! Wanna learn some cool stuff?
ELVES: Okay!
SAURON: They fell for it.
SEVEN DWARVES: Thanks for the rings! . . oooh, GOLD! MUST HAVE GOLD!
NINE MEN: Neat rings. . . Hey, didn't Mom die like six hundred years ago?
CELEBRIMBOR: Okay, how about we do three more and call it a wrap?
SAURON: How about I do one more and claim them ALL?
ELVES: AUGH!
SAURON: Bwa ha ha!
LAST ALLIANCE OF ELVES AND MEN: Push off.
SAURON: Make me.
ISILDUR: Whack.
SAURON: Ow.
ELROND: Hey, you got his ring. Let's ditch it.
ISILDUR: No.
ELROND: This sucks.
ISILDUR: Tell me about it. *dies*
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
CIRDAN: Hi, wizards! You in the grey, catch!
SAURON: Okay, that's long enough. Movin' into Dol Guldur.
SARUMAN: It's not him. Also the ring's lost at sea.
RING: No I'm not.
THE WISE: Augh.
THE WEAK: Bad ring! Volcano for you!
RING: *melts*
SAURON: AUGH!
MORDOR: BOOM.
GONDORIANS: *change calendar*
ELROND, GALADRIEL: Road trip!
GANDALF: Hi Cirdan! Still got your ring!
CIRDAN: Cool. Let's go to Valinor!


... I'd say I'm going to Hell, but there's no Hell in Arda. I'm gonna be eaten by a Balrog, I figure.

7 William Barnett-Lewis  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 11:35:18am

THANKS! Good to know for future reference :) I'll edit the top part now.

8 Dark_Falcon  Fri, Nov 9, 2012 5:05:02pm

Loves it!

9 Schadenfreude 'r' Us  Sat, Nov 10, 2012 12:16:23am

Good outline. When are you going to set it to music?

10 Tigger2005  Sat, Nov 10, 2012 7:18:29am
… I’d say I’m going to Hell, but there’s no Hell in Arda. I’m gonna be eaten by a Balrog, I figure.

You might be thrust through the Doors of Night into the Outer Darkness. But at least Morgoth will be there to keep you company.

11 Gretchen G.Tiger  Sat, Nov 10, 2012 11:10:14am

Did you forget about the ravenous spider?

Or did I miss her in there?

12 William Barnett-Lewis  Sat, Nov 10, 2012 5:23:20pm

UNGOLIANT is up there. Shelob of the LOTR was her much smaller offspring.


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 Frank says:

The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and pointed stick conducts his business.