German Law is changing—interview with a Zoophile- Please tell me this is really bad satire …
The Government Wants to Stop This Guy From Boning His Dog
Why do you think that is?
I think women see animals as children and—for them—children aren’t allowed to possess sexuality. These women are very eager to castrate everything. They think that men are always brutal and forceful and they want to protect children and animals from them. They think we’re raping the animals, but I believe there are nearly as many women zoophiles as male zoophiles.
Tell me about the animal brothels.
A Danish newspaper wrote in 2005 that Danes were coming to Germany for these animal brothels. Although the head association of animal shelters in Germany said they didn’t know anything about animal brothels, lots of people thought there must be some. A year later, Parliament asked if the search had any results but the police said they didn’t find any. We don’t know of any and, to be honest, if anyone’s going to know, it’s probably us.
What do you say to people who argue that an animal can’t consent to sex?
They’re partly right. Of course it is possible to force yourself upon an animal, but we zoophiles call that rape. Zoophiles have ethics, too. One of the basic rules is that you don’t do anything an animal doesn’t want to do and you can’t tie an animal down. You must always leave the animal the chance to fight back or walk away. If you’re too eager to have sex with a bitch she’ll jump at your face and bark, or a mare will kick you in the stomach, which isn’t very fun.