Encyclopedia Paranoiaca: Inside the Reality of Paranoia
Killer Blueberries: Inside the Reality of Paranoia
Think blueberries are your super-oxidizing, super-healthy friend? Think again. Unless you’re consuming the organic variety, you’re probably better off skipping them altogether—unless you want to be hit with so much pesticide it would make maggots and bagworms squirm and wilt. Not only are blueberries on the Environmental Working Group’s “Dirty Dozen” list—named exactly for what it is, the dozen dirtiest fruits and vegetables—but even if you buy organic ones, you can’t be sure what you’re getting. After all, organic farmers can continue to use a number of chemicals in their crops and still be certified as following all guidelines. The whole organic food industry, in fact, might just be one big money-sucking scam.
So says the Encyclopedia Panoiaca, Henry Beard and Christopher’s Cerf’s latest book (helpfully co-authored, if you take a close look at the cover, by the staff of the Cassandra Institute), a.k.a, the only guide to super-paranoia that you’ll ever need. And there go those non-organic blueberries in my fridge. (After I have one, ok maybe two, more.)
While we’re on the subject of food, you would also do well to avoid such healthy-seeming alternatives as farmed salmon, which apparently contains so many contaminants that, if you eat it any more frequently than a single time within five months, you’ll be increasing your risk of cancer exponentially; salads of the fast-food variety, which are often no more (and sometimes, less) healthful than a burger (actually, make that all salads, as leafy green vegetables are on the FDA’s top ten riskiest regulated foods list—and in 2009, more foodborne illness was linked to salads and thirteen common leafy green ingredients than to any other food); milk, which commonly contains rBGH (recombitant bovine growth hormone), a substance that has been banned most everywhere—except for the United States; and basically, almost anything else you might choose to eat. Yes, I’m afraid it is time to starve. This book is by far the best diet I’ve ever had.