A Post Modern Christmas
Now the birth of Jesus was on this wise: When his white racist mother Mary was engaged to noted white racist Joseph before they came together (though if they loved each other a lot it would have been ok to come together, or if they truly embraced their innate and latent bisexuality, they would have raised a more open minded child ), she was found with child.
Then Joseph her husband (well, technically they weren’t married yet but that’s ok), being a closed-minded traditionalist, white racist & not willing to let go of his fundamentalistic ideas about marriage was minded to put her away privately, which would have been mean & judgmental of him.
But while he thought on these things, behold an angel came or he entered a Buddha-like dream state. At any rate Joseph came to his loving & compassionate senses & decided to not put Mary away.
While in the dream, Joseph heard a voice which who are we to judge which god it might have been if any at all, saying to Joseph: “Mary will bring forth a son & you shall call his name Jesus (or Yeshua if you want to sound more Hebrewish, although in fact, Jesus was a Palestinian) for he shall help a lot of people feel better about themselves & their life experiences.”
Now all this was done, that the text would look more consistent but of course we all know the Gospels were written a long time after Jesus had actually died. Further, Islamic scholars noted that the New Testament was changed so as to exclude the Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) from being recognized as the true and most peaceful messiah) so it is possible the whole story is just embellishment by his followers - anyhow…