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1 Joanne  Thu, Jan 3, 2013 7:47:49pm

Fascinating read. Thanks! I've forwarded it to SMB owners I know.

2 Our Precious Bodily Fluids  Thu, Jan 3, 2013 7:47:52pm
“Thank you for calling the legal department,” said a youngish-sounding man. “This is Kevin, how can I help you?”

I was calling about a letter I was holding from AllLed, I explained. Kevin asked for my letter’s “file number,” which was the one thing I couldn’t give him—it would have revealed the source from whom I had received the letter. I told Kevin I was a writer who had been given the letter by someone else. All I wanted to do was contact AllLed, LLC directly—so how could I do that?

“We don’t have any information on the entities that send the letter,” he said. It was just an answering service. “We don’t have their contact information.”

“Well, who are you the ‘legal department’ for?” I asked.

“Hmmm,” said Kevin. “Legal department.”

“I don’t get it—is ‘Legal Department’ a real company?” I persisted.

“Hmmm,” said Kevin again. “We’re just Legal Department.”

“Well, you work for someone, right? What company do you work for?”

“This is Legal Department. That’s all we can say.”

It's like outsourced phone support meets Nigerian email scammers meets Idiocracy.

3 EiMitch  Thu, Jan 3, 2013 9:46:24pm

The patent system needs serious reform. Its horribly outdated and is harming technological development and small businesses.

...

...

Nah, lets just attack Planned Parenthood and labor unions. Those are the real problems. /sarc

4 cinesimon  Thu, Jan 3, 2013 10:19:50pm

This is what you get, along with extremely dodgy crooks such as loan sharks becoming legal, when a scary amount of idiots in government are aggressively anti-regulation and don't believe that the government should have anything to do with consumer protection.

5 Vicious Babushka  Fri, Jan 4, 2013 5:11:29am

How is it that these patent trolls are able to hide behind bogus shell corporations? Doesn't the Constitution guarantee that a defendant has the right to face the accuser in open court?

6 calochortus  Fri, Jan 4, 2013 9:11:06am

re: #3 EiMitch

The patent system needs serious reform. Its horribly outdated and is harming technological development and small businesses.

...

...

Nah, lets just attack Planned Parenthood and labor unions. Those are the real problems. /sarc

The patent office has been drowning in things they aren't equipped to deal with for years. Maybe patent trolling will be something that gets it reform funded.

7 lostlakehiker  Fri, Jan 4, 2013 9:34:58am

Chutzpah (def) See (this story).


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 Frank says:

"Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere -- with your stick, or with your hands -- which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.