Pages

Jump to bottom

16 comments

1 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:41:49pm

#F is a trick question.

2 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:47:01pm

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

3 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:49:43pm

re: #1 FemNaziBitch

#F is a trick question.

Hella yeah, it is. What about #E, for Jebus’s sake?

;)

4 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:50:39pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

Math is of de Debbil.

I cannot think of a single thing that so-called “math” has helped me with in my daily life!

5 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:13:57pm

Aaaaaaand no one’s actually taking the test, dangit.

I encourage people to take it for reals, and also to take it in the persona of what they think a Tea Partier would think.

Double points if actual Tea Partiers would take this test!

6 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:53:54pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

There is no cake, either.

7 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:56:12pm
3. Name one notable thing that happened during the War of 1812.

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

5. What, in your opinion, was the primary cause of the War Between the States/the War of Northern Aggression/the American Civil War?

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

8 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:14pm

re: #7 freetoken

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

Works for me! HALF-CREDIT! (Not a complete paragraph.)

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

HALF-CREDIT! (Again, not a complete paragraph.)

TOTAL: 1

9 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:52pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

We do have pie, though.

Pumpkin and shoo-fly pies. Mmmmmmmm…

10 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:21:34pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

But there is pie!

11 blueraven  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:15pm

The pie is a lie!

12 aagcobb  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:33pm

I’ll try as a Tea Partier:

1. The British came to try and take our guns. But because we had guns, we were able to defend our guns. So we declared independence to keep our guns.

2. provide for the common defense means we all have guns to defend our guns. Because we couldn’t defend our guns if we didn’t have guns. With our guns we can prevent the gubmint from taking our guns.

3. Andy Jackson and a bunch of Tennessee militia brought their guns and got together. Then they went to New Orleans. They shot a lot of Brits with their guns then went home.

4. John Wayne and a bunch of other Texans went to the Alamo with their guns to stop a bunch of Mexicans from illegally entering the country. Unfortunately there were too many Mexicans so they all got killed. If there had been a border fence, they could’ve kept the Mexicans out.

5. Everyone in the South was happy and knew their place. Liberals wanted to create a big government to tyrannize everyone. They promised the blacks government handouts to get them dependent on big government.

6. Lincoln was a big government tyrant. The Tree of Liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants. So Booth watered the Tree of Liberty and Lincoln got what was coming to him for being a tyrant.

7. Theodore Roosevelt was bad. He took private property which could’ve been developed to create jobs to make wasteful big government parks. He also took job creators businesses away from them.

8. Franklin Roosevelt was bad. He was the first communist President. He made the Depression worse by taking job creators’ money from them to waste on socialist programs.

9. The Japanese attacked Pearl harbor to take our guns. But because we had guns, we defeated them. This kept them from taking our guns.

10. Ike was a bad President. He appointed a liberal to the Supreme Court. Then he sent jack booted thugs to Little Rock, Arkansas to oppress the people.

11. Reagan was a good president. He cut taxes on the job creators and everyone got good jobs. Then he tore down the Berlin Wall.

A. False, God created man. Women were created to help men.
B. True. The Constitution was copied from the Bible by Thomas Jefferson.
C. True, my mother is English.
D. False, I built that!
E. True
F. False. My social security is my money and I should get it. It should be abolished for everyone younger than me because its unconstitutional.

13 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:23:08pm

re: #11 blueraven

The pie is a lie!

But it’s a delicious lie!

14 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:00pm

re: #12 aagcobb

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

15 The Mountain That Blogs  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:51pm
You may use the Google and the Wikipedia on this test.

No wikipedia. Only conservapedia.

16 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 8:06:39pm

re: #15 The Mountain That Blogs

If you choose.


This page has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2015-08-02 10:58 am PDT

LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!

Recent Pages
I Stand With Planned Parenthood
Group Attacking Planned Parenthood Linked to Extremists
The group behind the recent spate of undercover videos accusing Planned Parenthood of illegally selling "body parts from aborted fetuses" is tightly linked to some of the country's hardest-line anti-abortion extremists. The founder of the Center for Medical Progress ...

5 hours, 9 minutes ago
Views: 119 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Thanos
Reuters Legal Update: -Kentucky Clerk Seeks Same-Sex Marriage License Reprieve
A county clerk in Kentucky sought an emergency injunction on Wednesday to temporarily block a federal court order requiring her to issue same-sex marriage licenses as she prepares to go to court on Thursday to face contempt charges. Kim ...

1 day, 20 hours ago
Views: 367 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 30 • Rating: 0
Great White Snark
UPDATE-The Now Not So Strange Saga of the MH370 Plane Part
Just when you think this will not get any more weird... The update 9/2/2015 (CNN)Now even French investigators are convinced: The airplane debris found on Reunion Island in July belonged to vanished Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, a top French prosecutor ...

5 days, 5 hours ago
Views: 649 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
JmpMaster
Teachers as the Target in Schools and Media
As soon as you mention public education a barrage of soundbites and adages come flying from every corner at dizzying speed. Teachers are underpaid and underappreciated, teachers are all jaded cynics that don't care anymore, teachers are the cornerstone ...

1 week ago
Views: 539 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
VickieHaz
Spice Up Your Home Lighting
When many of us are in need of a new lamp, ceiling light or any other lighting application the first thing we'll do is jump in the car and head off to the nearest IKEA. This is the safest option ...

1 week ago
Views: 609 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 3 • Rating: 0
Bubblehead II
President Obama Remarks on Tenth Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina
In case you missed the NOLA Presidents speech today. President Obama Remarks on Tenth Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina

1 week ago
Views: 528 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 1
KiTA
Vester Lee Flanagan Guns Down News Crew on Live TV, Live Tweets and Films himself doing so.
Update: The shooter filmed himself performing the act and uploaded the content to several social media accounts. It was shared thousands of times before Twitter deleted it. Twitter auto-plays the video. Today would be a very good day to close ...

1 week, 2 days ago
Views: 869 • Comments: 4
Tweets: 7 • Rating: 3
Lumberhead
Why the 2016 Republican Nomination Can’t Be Predicted Through History
This election season provides a fascinating frame to see if the polarization in politics, from Washington to the states to the public, is no different than what we have seen in the past; if the angry populism evident especially ...

1 week, 6 days ago
Views: 974 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 4
No Country For Old Haters
Unraveling the Enigma of Nintendo’s Virtual Boy, 20 Years Later
Twenty years ago, on August 21, 1995, Nintendo released the Virtual Boy in North America. The stilt-legged tabletop gaming console, which offered a unique red stereoscopic 3D display, attempted to ride a wave of popular interest in virtual reality. ...

1 week, 6 days ago
Views: 850 • Comments: 3
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 1
EiMitch
Cracked: The 6 Most Ridiculous F***-Ups In The History Of Science
cracked.com There's no doubt that science has made all of our lives much better, as evidenced by the fact that we wrote this article entirely from the men's room of our neighborhood Chipotle. (We'll be living here for the rest ...

2 weeks, 1 day ago
Views: 1,247 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0