Pages

Jump to bottom

16 comments

1 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:41:49pm

#F is a trick question.

2 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:47:01pm

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

3 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:49:43pm

re: #1 FemNaziBitch

#F is a trick question.

Hella yeah, it is. What about #E, for Jebus’s sake?

;)

4 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:50:39pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

Math is of de Debbil.

I cannot think of a single thing that so-called “math” has helped me with in my daily life!

5 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:13:57pm

Aaaaaaand no one’s actually taking the test, dangit.

I encourage people to take it for reals, and also to take it in the persona of what they think a Tea Partier would think.

Double points if actual Tea Partiers would take this test!

6 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:53:54pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

There is no cake, either.

7 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:56:12pm
3. Name one notable thing that happened during the War of 1812.

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

5. What, in your opinion, was the primary cause of the War Between the States/the War of Northern Aggression/the American Civil War?

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

8 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:14pm

re: #7 freetoken

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

Works for me! HALF-CREDIT! (Not a complete paragraph.)

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

HALF-CREDIT! (Again, not a complete paragraph.)

TOTAL: 1

9 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:52pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

We do have pie, though.

Pumpkin and shoo-fly pies. Mmmmmmmm…

10 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:21:34pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

But there is pie!

11 blueraven  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:15pm

The pie is a lie!

12 aagcobb  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:33pm

I’ll try as a Tea Partier:

1. The British came to try and take our guns. But because we had guns, we were able to defend our guns. So we declared independence to keep our guns.

2. provide for the common defense means we all have guns to defend our guns. Because we couldn’t defend our guns if we didn’t have guns. With our guns we can prevent the gubmint from taking our guns.

3. Andy Jackson and a bunch of Tennessee militia brought their guns and got together. Then they went to New Orleans. They shot a lot of Brits with their guns then went home.

4. John Wayne and a bunch of other Texans went to the Alamo with their guns to stop a bunch of Mexicans from illegally entering the country. Unfortunately there were too many Mexicans so they all got killed. If there had been a border fence, they could’ve kept the Mexicans out.

5. Everyone in the South was happy and knew their place. Liberals wanted to create a big government to tyrannize everyone. They promised the blacks government handouts to get them dependent on big government.

6. Lincoln was a big government tyrant. The Tree of Liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants. So Booth watered the Tree of Liberty and Lincoln got what was coming to him for being a tyrant.

7. Theodore Roosevelt was bad. He took private property which could’ve been developed to create jobs to make wasteful big government parks. He also took job creators businesses away from them.

8. Franklin Roosevelt was bad. He was the first communist President. He made the Depression worse by taking job creators’ money from them to waste on socialist programs.

9. The Japanese attacked Pearl harbor to take our guns. But because we had guns, we defeated them. This kept them from taking our guns.

10. Ike was a bad President. He appointed a liberal to the Supreme Court. Then he sent jack booted thugs to Little Rock, Arkansas to oppress the people.

11. Reagan was a good president. He cut taxes on the job creators and everyone got good jobs. Then he tore down the Berlin Wall.

A. False, God created man. Women were created to help men.
B. True. The Constitution was copied from the Bible by Thomas Jefferson.
C. True, my mother is English.
D. False, I built that!
E. True
F. False. My social security is my money and I should get it. It should be abolished for everyone younger than me because its unconstitutional.

13 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:23:08pm

re: #11 blueraven

The pie is a lie!

But it’s a delicious lie!

14 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:00pm

re: #12 aagcobb

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

15 The Mountain That Blogs  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:51pm
You may use the Google and the Wikipedia on this test.

No wikipedia. Only conservapedia.

16 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 8:06:39pm

re: #15 The Mountain That Blogs

If you choose.


This page has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Create a PageThis is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.
Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.
Last updated: 2016-01-01 10:29 am PST
LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!Register and sign in to a free LGF account before subscribing, and your ad-free access will be automatically enabled.

Recent PagesClick to refresh
Love in the Time of Climate Change: Grizzlies and Polar Bears Are Now Mating BARROW, Alaska -- Most Alaskans and Canadians have a bear story - tales of fearsome grizzlies, even polar bears. But a mix of the two? They're known as pizzlies or grolars, and they're a fusion of the Arctic white ...
Thanos
16 hours, 21 minutes ago
Views: 260 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 6 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Possible Murderer John McAfee’s Presidential Campaign Ad Deeply Crazy, as Is John McAfee Oh boy! It’s that very special time of the year: The fringe candidate ads are here! Feast on this brilliant sample of sensory overload from Libertarian presidential candidate John McAffee. Yes, the antivirus guy. Yes, the one who “was ...
Reality Based Steve
16 hours, 54 minutes ago
Views: 420 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 21 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 2
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 2
Administrators Are Still Enforcing Antiquated Ideas About How to Celebrate Prom It’s prom season — the time of year when school administrators attempt to enforce the gender norms, as well as the rules of heteronormativity, that were followed when they were growing up. Students have been resisting this for years. ...
The French Rat
17 hours, 10 minutes ago
Views: 301 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
Boycott Over N.C. LGBT Law Hits More Than Music Fans Stagehand Kery Eller doesn’t own any Bruce Springsteen albums, but he would smash them if he did. Eller says he expected to earn at least $3,000 working the sold-out Springsteen concert and other high-profile shows around the state before ...
Thanos
17 hours, 42 minutes ago
Views: 396 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 3 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0
California Voter Registration Soaring as June 7 Primary Approaches Californians are registering to vote in breathtaking numbers not seen since the Reagan Revolution, as the no-holds-barred presidential primary season and tech-based outreach efforts have rousted more than 1 million people from their political slumber. Registration often spiked on ...
Thanos
20 hours, 51 minutes ago
Views: 505 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 1
Tweets: 7 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 2
Comments: 0
: 3
Supreme Court Rejects GOP Challenge to Va. Redistricting Plan The Supreme Court on Monday dismissed a Republican challenge to redistricting in Virginia, leaving in place a map that could prove more favorable to Democrats. The court unanimously held that Reps. Rob WittmanRob WittmanOvernight Regulation: GOP lose Supreme Court ...
Thanos
20 hours, 58 minutes ago
Views: 471 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 27 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 2
Comments: 0
: 3
Second Person Pleads Guilty in Plot to Bomb Fort Riley The person he was assisting, John T. Booker, was following Islamic state ideology. A 30-year-old Topeka man involved in the conspiracy to set off a bomb at Fort Riley, Kan., pleaded guilty Monday in federal court. Alexander E. Blair ...
Thanos
20 hours, 59 minutes ago
Views: 477 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 2
Tweets: 23 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 1
Austria Far Right Thwarted, Van Der Bellen Elected President Alexander Van der Bellen has won Austria's presidential election, preventing Norbert Hofer from becoming the EU's first far-right head of state. Mr Van der Bellen, a pro-EU independent backed by the Greens, beat Mr Hofer by just 31,000 votes ...
Thanos
21 hours, 8 minutes ago
Views: 619 • Comments: 0 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 15 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 4
Comments: 0
: 5
Why the Numbers Suggest a Hillary Clinton Presidency Is Best for the Stock Market Whether you plan to vote for Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump, history shows that when a Democrat holds the highest office in the land, the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) benefits. Over the past 100 years, the DJIA has ...
Thanos
1 day, 2 hours ago
Views: 496 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 3
Tweets: 8 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 1
Likes: 2
Comments: 1
: 4
Here’s the Lawsuit Against a State Anti-LGBT Law You Aren’t Hearing About North Carolina’s anti-LGBT law HB2 isn’t the only state law receiving new scrutiny this week. The ACLU has filed a federal lawsuit challenging Mississippi’s HB 1523, which offers a sweeping menu of legalized discrimination. Discrimination against LGBT people was ...
The French Rat
1 day, 16 hours ago
Views: 534 • Comments: 1 • Rating: 0
Tweets: 1 • Share to Facebook
Shares: 0
Likes: 0
Comments: 0
: 0