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16 comments

1 FemNaziBitch  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:41:49pm

#F is a trick question.

2 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:47:01pm

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

3 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:49:43pm

re: #1 FemNaziBitch

#F is a trick question.

Hella yeah, it is. What about #E, for Jebus’s sake?

;)

4 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 5:50:39pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

Math is of de Debbil.

I cannot think of a single thing that so-called “math” has helped me with in my daily life!

5 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:13:57pm

Aaaaaaand no one’s actually taking the test, dangit.

I encourage people to take it for reals, and also to take it in the persona of what they think a Tea Partier would think.

Double points if actual Tea Partiers would take this test!

6 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:53:54pm

re: #2 Vicious Babushka

This is a fake test. THERE IS NO MATH.

There is no cake, either.

7 freetoken  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 6:56:12pm
3. Name one notable thing that happened during the War of 1812.

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

5. What, in your opinion, was the primary cause of the War Between the States/the War of Northern Aggression/the American Civil War?

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

8 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:14pm

re: #7 freetoken

Well, one of my great-great-great-great uncles led the army of the Northwest.

Works for me! HALF-CREDIT! (Not a complete paragraph.)

First, it is properly called the “War of the Rebellion”. And, the primary cause was the unwillingness of the Southern states to give up their barbarous, backwards economic and justice system.

HALF-CREDIT! (Again, not a complete paragraph.)

TOTAL: 1

9 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:09:52pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

We do have pie, though.

Pumpkin and shoo-fly pies. Mmmmmmmm…

10 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:21:34pm

re: #6 freetoken

There is no cake, either.

But there is pie!

11 blueraven  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:15pm

The pie is a lie!

12 aagcobb  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:22:33pm

I’ll try as a Tea Partier:

1. The British came to try and take our guns. But because we had guns, we were able to defend our guns. So we declared independence to keep our guns.

2. provide for the common defense means we all have guns to defend our guns. Because we couldn’t defend our guns if we didn’t have guns. With our guns we can prevent the gubmint from taking our guns.

3. Andy Jackson and a bunch of Tennessee militia brought their guns and got together. Then they went to New Orleans. They shot a lot of Brits with their guns then went home.

4. John Wayne and a bunch of other Texans went to the Alamo with their guns to stop a bunch of Mexicans from illegally entering the country. Unfortunately there were too many Mexicans so they all got killed. If there had been a border fence, they could’ve kept the Mexicans out.

5. Everyone in the South was happy and knew their place. Liberals wanted to create a big government to tyrannize everyone. They promised the blacks government handouts to get them dependent on big government.

6. Lincoln was a big government tyrant. The Tree of Liberty must be watered with the blood of tyrants. So Booth watered the Tree of Liberty and Lincoln got what was coming to him for being a tyrant.

7. Theodore Roosevelt was bad. He took private property which could’ve been developed to create jobs to make wasteful big government parks. He also took job creators businesses away from them.

8. Franklin Roosevelt was bad. He was the first communist President. He made the Depression worse by taking job creators’ money from them to waste on socialist programs.

9. The Japanese attacked Pearl harbor to take our guns. But because we had guns, we defeated them. This kept them from taking our guns.

10. Ike was a bad President. He appointed a liberal to the Supreme Court. Then he sent jack booted thugs to Little Rock, Arkansas to oppress the people.

11. Reagan was a good president. He cut taxes on the job creators and everyone got good jobs. Then he tore down the Berlin Wall.

A. False, God created man. Women were created to help men.
B. True. The Constitution was copied from the Bible by Thomas Jefferson.
C. True, my mother is English.
D. False, I built that!
E. True
F. False. My social security is my money and I should get it. It should be abolished for everyone younger than me because its unconstitutional.

13 Vicious Babushka  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:23:08pm

re: #11 blueraven

The pie is a lie!

But it’s a delicious lie!

14 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:00pm

re: #12 aagcobb

FLAWLESS VICTORY!

15 The Mountain That Blogs  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 7:29:51pm
You may use the Google and the Wikipedia on this test.

No wikipedia. Only conservapedia.

16 chadu  Wed, Feb 27, 2013 8:06:39pm

re: #15 The Mountain That Blogs

If you choose.


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