Pages

Jump to bottom

4 comments

1 Destro  Tue, Mar 5, 2013 9:55:10am

I always thought that the Abrahamic god was either A) a lunatic, B) a drunk or C) a teenage kid and we are all his cyber creations in his video game like the SIMs or world of warcraft and he likes to fuck with us to gain points in the game.

[Link: www.godhatesshrimp.com…]


God Hates Shrimp
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.
Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

2 Aligarr  Tue, Mar 5, 2013 5:41:03pm

In those times , crusteans listed where and are scavengers , shiteaters as it were ,capable of making one very ill . In addition one can be born with a allergy to shellfish which is deadly , and it is not uncommon today for adults in midlife to develop the same deadly allergy .There were no drugs to save the victim back then.In addition there are shellfish that sting and kill rather quickly .
Pigs ? -trichinosis .Pigs eat their own swill .
The ole’ milk and meat ban came from a civilised attitude towards animals, as boiling a cow pregnant with calf , the unborn calf being the delicacy was a common practice .

There was sound reason and logic based on experience and observation , regarding the dietary laws , in the age in which they were written .
Today of course methods of preparation and medicine has changed all that , making it really unneccessary to abide those laws except for sake of tradition . To this day the most humane way to slaughter an animal is with an extremely sharp knife severing the caratid artery , it is painless and fast .
As for the gay thing , well we should all know better by now .

3 Destro  Tue, Mar 5, 2013 9:04:56pm

re: #2 Aligarr

So there is no god but religion and the fear of the boogeyman was used to make the villagers behave.

I use the same trick on my kids. Wash your teeth before bed or the tooth monster will eat your teeth.

4 Aligarr  Wed, Mar 6, 2013 1:34:19pm

Dont know about any of that , I’m just saying those dietary laws found their origins , not from clay tablets , but from practical experience . How long before people figured out it’s not a good idea to drink their wine from a lead cup ?
I told my kids their teeth would rot and fallout .Or worse the real boogyman was the dentist and his drill .


This page has been archived.
Comments are closed.

Jump to top

Help support Little Green Footballs!

Subscribe now for ad-free access!

LGF Pages

This button leads to the main index of LGF Pages, our user-submitted articles. You can post your own LGF Pages simply by registering a free account with us.

Create a Page

This is the LGF Pages posting bookmarklet. To use it, drag this button to your browser's bookmark bar, and title it 'LGF Pages' (or whatever you like). Then browse to a site you want to post, select some text on the page to use for a quote, click the bookmarklet, and the Pages posting window will appear with the title, text, and any embedded video or audio files already filled in, ready to go.

Or... you can just click this button to open the Pages posting window right away.

Last updated: 2015-08-02 10:58 am PDT

LGF User's Guide RSS Feeds
Recent Pages
aagcobb
Don’t Teach a Man to Fish. Just Give Him the Goddamn Fish. - Vox
Dylan Matthews, Vox: Don't Teach a Man to Fish. Just Give Him the Goddamn Fish. - Vox We can be pretty sure some things -- like supplying free anti-malarial bednets and providing deworming pills, or cash -- work. But for ...

2 hours, 6 minutes ago
Views: 61 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
VickieHaz
How you can Change your Lifestyle for the Greener
In the western world, we hear a lot about how our lifestyles can have quite a negative impact on the environment. We live in a time dominated by technologies and conveniences which as useful as they are, aren't the most ...

14 hours, 29 minutes ago
Views: 169 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 2 • Rating: 2
Thanos
Accelerated Pace of Kansas City Public Library’s Book-Culling Process Upsets Volunteers
It's like "Rainbow's End". Sylvia Stucky, a longtime member of Friends of the Kansas City Public Library, stood in the lobby of the Central Library downtown one day last week and opened her shoulder bag. "I just saved these from ...

1 day ago
Views: 304 • Comments: 3
Tweets: 1 • Rating: 2
I Stand With Planned Parenthood
Jimmy Carter: America Is Not a Democracy Anymore (AUDIO)
Former President Jimmy Carter called the United States an "oligarchy" with "unlimited political bribery," on a radio program this week. More: Jimmy Carter: America Is Not a Democracy Anymore (AUDIO)

1 day, 14 hours ago
Views: 301 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 1
Cheechako
Iditarod Champ Dallas Seavey Adds Dog Treadmill to Training Repertoire
Suzanna CaldwellAlaska Dispatch NewsAugust 1, 2015 WILLOW -- Forget the gentle swoosh of sled runners over snow. Iditarod champion Dallas Seavey's summer training offers a stark contrast to his winter routine: more than a dozen dogs yapping manically in a ...

2 days, 23 hours ago
Views: 668 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 11 • Rating: 1
Eclectic Cyborg
MS GOP rep campaigns on pro Confederate Flag platform
So this showed up at my house today, it's an election mailer from one Jeffrey Guice who is running for re-election to the Mississippi State Senate. As you can see, it included an interesting detail... So basically he's taking pride ...

5 days, 2 hours ago
Views: 764 • Comments: 2
Tweets: 57 • Rating: 3
EiMitch
Cracked: 5 Sworn Enemies Who Formed Inspiring Friendships
I was catching-up with Cracked articles. I found an obvious click-bait article, "4 Sexual Preferences That Only Recently Became Taboo": cracked.com Knowing that, I read it anyway. From there, I read a depressing article, "5 Ways College Screws Over Poor ...

5 days, 8 hours ago
Views: 591 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 3
Skip Intro
Windows 10 is out. Help a guy out, please.
So I downloaded the Win 10 ISO image today, and started the install. The first thing I come across is a screen asking what I want to keep, my apps, data, and program settings, my data and program settings, or ...

6 days, 11 hours ago
Views: 866 • Comments: 8
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 0
Great White Snark
Huffington Post Arabic-Smart Outreach, Sure To Infuriate Bigots
Dirct Link: Huffington Post Arabic - Kudos! Good to see this. The link takes you right there, but for us non arabic readers, a helpful translate panel comes right up. You who do read arabic can judge the content, ...

1 week, 1 day ago
Views: 863 • Comments: 1
Tweets: 19 • Rating: 1
Iwouldprefernotto
More Edited PP Videos
NYT -- More Edited PP Videos in the Pipeline The activist behind the videos, David Daleiden, has said he has enough covertly recorded footage for perhaps a dozen videos that he could release, one a week, for the next few ...

1 week, 1 day ago
Views: 504 • Comments: 0
Tweets: 0 • Rating: 2
 Frank says:

Nobody looks good in brown lipstick.