Jim Jefferies - God goes to a party

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Jim Jefferies - God goes to a party

I made the fucking world! Just sing some songs! What's the problem?

By nines09

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Religion • 3/05/13 9:47:33 am • Views: 3,841

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Australian comedian Jim Jefferies tells a story

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4 comments

Destro Tue, Mar 5, 2013 9:55:10am

I always thought that the Abrahamic god was either A) a lunatic, B) a drunk or C) a teenage kid and we are all his cyber creations in his video game like the SIMs or world of warcraft and he likes to fuck with us to gain points in the game.

[Link: www.godhatesshrimp.com…]

God Hates Shrimp
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God’s law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver’s and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye’s shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.
Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

Aligarr Tue, Mar 5, 2013 5:41:03pm

In those times , crusteans listed where and are scavengers , shiteaters as it were ,capable of making one very ill . In addition one can be born with a allergy to shellfish which is deadly , and it is not uncommon today for adults in midlife to develop the same deadly allergy .There were no drugs to save the victim back then.In addition there are shellfish that sting and kill rather quickly .
Pigs ? -trichinosis .Pigs eat their own swill .
The ole’ milk and meat ban came from a civilised attitude towards animals, as boiling a cow pregnant with calf , the unborn calf being the delicacy was a common practice .

There was sound reason and logic based on experience and observation , regarding the dietary laws , in the age in which they were written .
Today of course methods of preparation and medicine has changed all that , making it really unneccessary to abide those laws except for sake of tradition . To this day the most humane way to slaughter an animal is with an extremely sharp knife severing the caratid artery , it is painless and fast .
As for the gay thing , well we should all know better by now .

Destro Tue, Mar 5, 2013 9:04:56pm

re: #2 Aligarr

So there is no god but religion and the fear of the boogeyman was used to make the villagers behave.

I use the same trick on my kids. Wash your teeth before bed or the tooth monster will eat your teeth.

Aligarr Wed, Mar 6, 2013 1:34:19pm

Dont know about any of that , I’m just saying those dietary laws found their origins , not from clay tablets , but from practical experience . How long before people figured out it’s not a good idea to drink their wine from a lead cup ?
I told my kids their teeth would rot and fallout .Or worse the real boogyman was the dentist and his drill .

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