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1 wrenchwench  Mon, Apr 1, 2013 9:30:57am

Good advice to everyone, everywhere:

FRANKLIN: So the first thing I would say is, you know, understand that you’re not alone, and that you are not crazy, and that you have every right to protect and defend yourself. And in doing so, trust your instincts. When someone crosses the line with you, when they make you feel uncomfortable, trust your gut. And be rude; feel free to be rude. If things escalate, feel free to send a written email to that person letting - telling them to leave you alone, so that you start a document trail showing that you have tried to remedy the situation, and that they are aware that you don’t like the behavior.

So many people are afraid to seem rude. Especially women, and especially people of color.

MARTIN: You said it was actually - what was it? - years before you told him, point blank, just to leave you alone.

FRANKLIN: Yeah.

MARTIN: You know, why do you think it took so long?

FRANKLIN: As a professional woman, I felt like, oh, you know, I don’t want to be seen as weak. I want to be seen as strong. You know, as a black woman, I don’t want to be seen as someone who’s argumentative, or making a big thing out of nothing. But it was something. He absolutely crossed the line. You know, I’d realized: I have to stop being nice to him. I have to stop worrying about what he thinks, or what other people think of me, and I have to protect myself.

You have to stand up for yourself. Don’t be shamed into being quiet.

2 wrenchwench  Mon, Apr 1, 2013 11:09:15am

re: #1 wrenchwench

Good advice to everyone, everywhere:

So many people are afraid to seem rude. Especially women, and especially people of color.

You have to stand up for yourself. Don’t be shamed into being quiet.

Of course, people are hesitant to stand up for themselves with good reason.

How to Get a Black Woman Fired

The Internet has had lots of opinions about Adria Richards, the black technologist who was fired for tweeting a photo of two white male colleagues she overheard making lewd jokes during a conference co-sponsored by her employer. In the tweet, Richards asked PyCon conference organizers to come speak to the men, who were sitting behind her. And although organizers resolved the issue amicably by all accounts, once news of Richards’ tweet broke, the usual mob of faceless Twitter trolls made racist, misogynist threats against her. Then they crashed her employer SendGrid’s website with a DDoS attack.

The same mob, plus a lot of new joiners using their real names, also blamed Richards when one of the two men was fired by his employer, PlayHaven. (Interestingly, PlayHaven has yet to be the target of a coordinated web attack.) And the mob cheered when Richards herself was publicly terminated, seemingly in response. In the words of her former boss, SendGrid CEO Jim Franklin, “[H]er actions have strongly divided the same community she was supposed to unite. … [T]he consequences that resulted from how she reported the conduct put our business in danger.” Sound weird to you? As Rachel Sklar wrote at Business Insider, “It seems clear that SendGrid and Franklin were aware of Richards’ conduct as the situation unfolded, yet the decision to fire her only came after the [website] attacks.” Labor attorneys say this would be difficult to defend in a courtroom.

[…]

Some tips on dealing with harassment

3 CuriousLurker  Mon, Apr 1, 2013 11:22:01am

re: #2 wrenchwench

Of course, people are hesitant to stand up for themselves with good reason.

How to Get a Black Woman Fired

Some tips on dealing with harassment

Excellent additions, thanks!

What’d I tell you about about talking to yourself in public? Sheesh, you’re gonna scare people away. // :)

4 Flavia  Mon, Apr 1, 2013 3:00:18pm

Ok, everyone can get ready to call me a feminazi bitch, but surely I am not the only one to see something wrong with this article summary:

“First study of its kind shows complete strangers target victims, of whom nearly 40% are men.”

Um, what? If “40% are men”, what does that mean 60% are? & why would you focus on 40 & not 60% of ANY group you’re supposed to be covering?

Wow - it even says so in the article:

Another major finding was that nearly 40% of cyberstalking victims are men. Past studies have identified women as much more at risk from face-to-face stalking.

How does anyone think this adds up??


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