Forget everything you thought you knew about the Boston bombings. The real story behind the attack involves not a pair of radicalized brothers, but a world-spanning conspiracy of Michelle Obama, a network of Russian oligarchs, and an army of stagehands armed with fake blood. Oh, and deceased suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev? He was taken alive. Naked.

Of course all this is true, it’s on the internet. And the internet’s conspiracy theorists have been hard at work the past week revealing the hidden secrets behind the Boston Marathon bombings. The reason for all the complexity and machinations between the rich and powerful: it’s a necessary measure before imposing martial law in the United States. Boston was merely the catalyst.

Before you dismiss all this, ask yourself: can you prove the Boston bombings aren’t part of a plan to impose martial law? Didn’t think so. Asking our audience to disprove non-falsifiable claims is also an essential part of Tinfoil Tuesday, Danger Room’s sporadic venture into the delectable lunacy of online conspiracy theories. That sleight of hand involving the burden of proof are central to the conspiracy theories about Boston.

The Boston Marathon bombings have become a conspiratorial cornucopia. One video circulating the web purports to show a stripped Tamerlan being taken into custody, after he died. Other theories focused on Abdulrahman Ali Alharbi, a student and Saudi national who was injured in the bombing — and incorrectly reported by the New York Post to be a “potential” suspect. “Why was the investigation of a mysterious Saudi national with familial links to al-Qaeda suddenly dropped shortly after the Saudi ambassador held an unscheduled meeting with Barack Obama?” blogger Michael Snyder asked yesterday. “Why did Michelle Obama subsequently visit that mysterious Saudi national in the hospital?”

More: False Flags, Fake Blood, and Michelle Obama: A Guide to the Boston Marathon Conspiracies