Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two
After almost 18 months offline, Hyperbole and a Half is back and talking more about her depression. It’s a powerful read.
I think many of us feel somewhat like what she’s describing at times, just nowhere near the level that she’s talking about. I know I do.
The beginning of my depression had been nothing but feelings, so the emotional deadening that followed was a welcome relief. I had always wanted to not give a fuck about anything. I viewed feelings as a weakness — annoying obstacles on my quest for total power over myself. And I finally didn’t have to feel them anymore.
But my experiences slowly flattened and blended together until it became obvious that there’s a huge difference between not giving a fuck and not being able to give a fuck. Cognitively, you might know that different things are happening to you, but they don’t feel very different.
Also: see Part One, “Adventures in Depression” here to get caught up before reading Part Two.