10 Things I Plan to Tell My Daughter About Sex That Aren’t That Purity Movement Crap
Against my better judgment I’ve been doing a lot of reading on the purity movement. If you’ve never been exposed to it, then I’ll explain. The idea is basically that you, as a father, are supposed to serve as the sole male influence in your daughter’s life until she gets married. You “guard her heart (and vagina)” because only you can be trusted with it. Certainly she can’t. If God wanted women to be in charge of their genitals or feelings he wouldn’t have let them be born in Texas.
You go to these weird balls where you dance with your daughter like it’s a prom and you give her a ring very like a wedding ring. The term “emotional incest” gets thrown around a lot by detractors, and is the second most horrifying phrase I’ve learned this year after “glue fic.” Then you hand off your little girl to your approved suitor who then acts exactly like you did except plus sex.
Better writers than I, like Libby Anne, have tackled the subject in depth, and you should spend an afternoon reading her work. She went through it as a daughter of movement, though. I’m a dad, and I am perfectly aware that the sexual health of this child is going to be part of my job. I’m not looking forward to it, to tell the truth, but if the alternative is fetishizing chastity while giving Oedipus a handie then by God I’m going in full guns blazing.
Here are the ten things I know I need to tell a modern girl about sex once she matures enough to roll her eyes throughout the conversation.
You cannot be “ruined,” by an act. You can only be ruined if you let shame and self-loathing consume you, and even then there is always a path back into the light. This goes double for someone trying to convince you sex is evil. That person was either hurt badly or seriously misled.