Fornicating While Latina: Why I Was Deeply Ashamed of Sex and How I Got Over It
Thanks to the Catholic Church, Mexican sexual attitudes and behaviors are strongly influenced by marianismo, the model of the obedient and docile woman. We are to emulate the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus, and sacrifice our own needs for the sake of our husband and children. If you’re not a saint, you’re a whore. There was no in-between. By Mexican standards, I was an outspoken selfish slut.
One of the most popular Mexican insults is hijo/a de le chingada, which translates to son or daughter of a fucked mother. In the essay “The Sons of La Malinche,” Octavio Paz writes, “Who is the Chingada? Above all, she is the Mother. Not a Mother of flesh and blood but a mythical figure. The Chingada is one of the Mexican representations of Maternity, like La Llorona or the ‘long-suffering Mexican mother’ we celebrate on the tenth of May.”
In traditional Mexican culture, sex is one of the worst things that can happen to a young woman. Though the numerous creeps in my community freely sexualized me and my peers, girls who had sex, dressed sexy, or even socialized with boys were often called pirujas, putas and cualquieras. Men were rarely implicated.