Domestic Violence-APA —How to know if you are being abused.
How Do You Know if You Are Being Abused?
Abusers use many ways to isolate, intimidate and control their partners. It starts insidiously and may be difficult to recognize. Early on, your partner may seem attentive, generous and protective in ways that later turn out to be frightening and controlling. Initially the abuse is isolated incidents for which your partner expresses remorse and promises never to do again or rationalizes as being due to stress or caused by something you did or didn’t do.
Early Signs of Abuse
• Quick whirlwind romance
• Wanting to be with you all the time; tracking what you’re doing and who you’re with
• Jealousy at any perceived attention to or from others
• Attempts to isolate you in the guise of loving behavior (You don’t need to work or go to school; we only need each other, criticizing friends/family for not caring about you)
• Hypersensitivity to perceived slights
• Quick to blame others for the abuse
• Pressures you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with (If you really love me, you’ll do this for me)
Questions to Ask Yourself
• Are you ever afraid of your partner?
• Has your partner ever actually hurt or threatened to hurt you physically or someone you care about?
• Does your partner ever force you to engage in sexual activities that make you uncomfortable?
• Do you constantly worry about your partner’s moods and change your behavior to deal with them?
• Does your partner try to control where you go, what you do and who you see?
• Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs?
• Have you stopped seeing family or friends to avoid your partner’s jealousy or anger?
• Does your partner control your finances?
• Does he/she threaten to kill him/herself if you leave?
• Does your partner claim his/her temper is out of control due to alcohol, drugs or because he/she had an abusive childhood?
If you answer yes to some or all of these questions, you could be suffering abuse. Remember you are not to blame and you need not face domestic violence alone.
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